The Flow

by Effrosyni Moschoudi

  “All right, Laura, I understand. In this case, I’ll just go get Mother and you can say goodbye. She will be disappointed you can't stay, but I’m sure she’ll understand.”

  “Thank you, Charles.” She watched as he turned away to cross the room, excusing himself past the guests. A waltz was playing on the gramophone and people were dancing. The music and the indistinct chatter that filled the room made it impossible to hear the distant conversation which took place between Charles and his mother. Laura hoped he wouldn’t be long.

  Now that the party was drawing to a close, she felt a sweet anticipation to be back to the warm familiarity of her own home. She was eager to meet Christian the following morning as planned and to hide herself away from the world in his bed again, cradled in his arms. She could hardly wait to drown all his doubts and worries with kisses and to make the memory of Charles and his world a fading memory, destined to melt away in the fervour of their bodies bonding as one.

  Chapter 7

  Vassilaki, summer 1988

  It was simply, a perfect day. Not a cloud in the sky. The sea, seductively warm, and as soothing as the womb. The sun, blissfully hot, rendering the soft sand a comforting bed to lie on. Sofia closed her eyes and relished the feeling of just being here, in her favourite place on earth. Propped up on her elbows on her beach towel, just outside Karavi, she drew a long breath of salty air and smiled brightly to herself.

  Ah, back in Vassilaki again! The year had passed effortlessly enough, with the last year of her studies wrapping up with a mega-difficult examination period, but she had managed to pass all her exams. It was official: this September she’d be getting her degree, and then, off to England at last.

  England . . . The word carried in her mind and heart connotations that caused her throat to constrict with feeling. Her eyes sought the pier then, which was busy as usual. Jimmy was out in the speedboat, giving yet another tourist an unforgettable joyride on the parachute. At the pier, his new employee for this year, a tall brunette from England, attracted the young Italian tourists like bees to a honey jar.

  Sofia gave a wistful smile. Ah, the pier . . . if only it had a mouth to speak. What would it tell me today, I wonder?

  Of course, she knew exactly what the pier would say should it have the ability to speak: that Danny was missing, and the summer, somehow, lacked something this year. She knew that when the afternoon would come and the cool breeze would bless the beach after the cruel hammering of the sun, those little birds would come hopping and then, his absence would be prominent again; her young life empty for it.

  But luckily, piers cannot talk, neither can little birds. But that didn’t mean Sofia felt any better for it. She picked up her Walkman from the towel and stuck the headphones on her ears. These days, she played other songs. Danny’s mixed tapes, just like his hat, were too much to bear. The hat was back at home, still wrapped up in a bag. By now, she didn’t dare even look at it, let alone wear it again. She’d brought along his tapes, but for now, it was one of her own she chose to play.

  George Michael’s “A Different Corner” infused its melancholic chords into her aching mind, resonating one thing terrible with her feeling of loss and remorse. The breeze came then to caress her cheeks, like an eager friend to offer comfort.

  The song played on, soothing her senses now, in sync with the tender wind that stroked her gently. It was the most welcoming touch in the world, and at the same time, the most painful. She could have sworn Danny had caressed her neck once that way too, giving her goose bumps.

  She grimaced the bittersweet memory away and withdrew her eyes from the pier, rummaging through her bag for some more face cream. The sun was blazing. She raised her face to it as she unscrewed the cap, closing her eyes. It burned her skin, but she was thankful. She knew that by the time she were in England in late September, she’d be longing for this warmth.

  Danny had once said that the summers in England are very brief and sometimes, even non-existent. Typically enough, he’d even joked that on one occasion he’d missed the British summer altogether. He had then made a pause, issued a devilish grin and piped up, “I overslept that day!”

  The distant memory caused Sofia to let out a quiet little laugh. Funny how humour can be so strong, able to survive even through the most unbearable heartache.

  But should she be sorry she’d ever met him just because he’d never said ‘I love you’ the way she’d ached for him to? Of course not. He’d come in and changed her forever. This had been a blessing in itself. Had she not met him, she’d never have found the gall to stand up to her dad. For years, he’d put it to her she had to take her Master’s at LSE. For years, she’d found herself nodding her head obligingly, setting herself up for a year in London as a student of Economics.

  But somehow, this was no longer the case. All she’d had to do is visit the British Council in Athens and attend an open day when Brighton Polytechnic advertised their courses. The poster had been plastered on walls and lampposts all over Omonia Square in the city centre; it was hard to miss and there was no way she was going to let that chance escape her. She’d come back from Athens that day knowing she had to confront her dad.

  He was taken aback, of course. His daughter may have had a knack for drawing and making crafts but never had it crossed his mind she felt so strongly about pursuing a career with all that. And now, she was no longer headed to London; now, she was to study at the Brighton Polytechnic College of Art and Design. She’d simply left her father with no choice. It was either this, or nothing at all.

  Had she never known Danny and experienced how liberating it is to follow your heart, she’d never have had the guts to pursue the career she’d always secretly wanted instead of what her father expected of her. And wasn’t it serendipitous that her own choice, the one she’d always nurtured secretly in her heart, had been the one to bring her to the very city she wanted to be, as close to Danny’s world as possible?

  Surely, it had to mean something. Although the whole thing had ended in one big disaster, Sofia had never stopped believing. For one, she hadn’t forgotten what the clairvoyant, Mrs Korina, had sensed the previous summer about Danny and the woman in Sofia’s dreams.

  Although Danny had kept quiet since January, he had said he still wanted to show her around. This was enough for her to keep believing. Besides, Steve was coming soon. Sofia had pinned all her hopes on that. Perhaps he could help her get in contact with Danny again.

  Chapter 8

  “Sofia mou!” Loula burst out as soon as she saw her best friend coming her way.

  Sofia had just had a blissful dip in the warm afternoon waters. This was her typical post-swim visit to hear Loula’s news before heading back home. She could tell by the look in her eyes she had something exciting to share.

  “Do tell!” she said with an easy smile, as she perched on a stool at the bar.

  “Steve called a while ago—”

  Sofia knitted her brows. “Here, in Karavi?”

  Loula issued a blank stare. “Yes, why?”

  “I can't believe he calls you here!”

  “Well, why not? Unless they find a way to make small phones we can all carry around with us, then I’ll give Steve all the phone numbers he can get me on. I should give him your gran’s too, just in case.” She winked at her friend and gave a squeal.

  “So, you cheeky devil, what did he say?”

  “It’s decided! He’ll stay at my house instead of the hotel.”

  Sofia’s eyes widened. “Really? Are you sure your mum is okay with that?”

  “Are you serious? It was mum that suggested it. She said it wouldn’t do having him stay in a rented room like any other tourist in the village, seeing that he’s family now.” She gave a wide grin.

  “I am very happy for you, Loula. You must be flying! Let’s see!” Sofia propped herself up on her hands and leaned forward, pretending to check Loula’s feet behind the counter. “Yes, you’re definitely hovering a few inches off the ground.”


  Loula pulled her tongue out in response, and they dissolved into hysterics.

  “Don’t tell me, this is about Steve again!” Akis plonked himself down on the stool next to Sofia and rolled his eyes comically.

  When Loula pulled her tongue out to him too, he shook his head in mock-disapproval. “Wonder if this guy knows what he’s got himself into,” he teased, causing Loula to deliver a slap on his broad shoulder.

  “Hey, it’s not done to hit your boss,” burst out Sofia, still giggling with abandon from before.

  “I’ll do what I like. And if you don’t like it, mister, I’ll bring Steve here next week to come and beat you up. He’s bigger than you, remember?”

  “Oh, oh, please don’t do that!” Akis pretended to cringe, then turned to Sofia in all seriousness. “Speaking of bosses, how come you didn’t ask Jimmy for your job back? What are you going to do with yourself all summer?”

  A shadow crossed Sofia’s face, but she smiled to make it go away. It would take forever to try to explain this to Akis, or even to Loula, what the pier represented to her now. She could barely look at it sometimes; let alone walk it up and down all day. “I want a break from all responsibility this summer. Is that so bad?” she chose to say as an excuse.

  “No, not really! As a matter of fact I envy you, since I waste my youth here at the salt mine every year, from April to October,” he replied shaking his head.

  “You could leave, if you wanted to,” said Sofia.

  He gave a tight little laugh. “Are you serious?”

  “Why not? You can do whatever you want.”

  His face turned solemn. “I don’t know, Sofia. I guess I haven’t given it much thought. For me, it’s a given that I must help my family with the business.”

  “All I’m saying is that if your heart dictates you should be doing something else, you should listen.”

  “What?” He grinned. “Like you going to Brighton instead of London this September?”

  As if by its own accord, Sofia’s mouth gaped open. “Who told you?”

  They both turned their heads to look at Loula, who shrugged. “I didn’t know it was a secret, Sofia. It wasn’t, was it?”

  “Relax. No, it wasn’t,” she replied, looking away, pretending it hadn’t bothered her to hear the absurdity of it all from someone else’s lips. Me, in Brighton. It still sounded like an elusive dream. How could it be real? Even she hadn’t got used to the idea just yet. Until last spring, she was still bound for LSE. Now, she was doing what she really wanted. It felt wonderful. She turned to Akis again and this time smiled with confidence.

  “Well, Cousin, mark my words. Nothing beats feeling good about what you’re doing. And if you are tired of this job, all you have to do is tell your parents. They love you. They’ll work around it. They can always employ someone else to do the work while you go off chasing a dream or two.”

  “But what can I do if I’m not here?”

  “Well, I don’t know! Get a degree or something. Learn a craft, pick up a hobby, travel, or fall in love.”

  He cringed and waved her off. “Bah! Love! Never seen it, never felt it.”

  “Oh, Akis! Aren't you too young to think that love does not exist?” piped up Loula.

  “My friend, if it does, it’s never knocked on my door.”

  “What about Tracey?” asked Sofia. “Both Loula and I thought you were serious about her last summer.”

  “Well, maybe I liked her a bit more than all the others. But not enough to settle down, if that’s what you mean. Besides, I could never leave Vassilaki or Corfu for good. If I ever marry and my bride-to-be is a foreigner, she’ll have to come live here with me.”

  “Like my teacher, Sarah!”

  “Yes, Loula, exactly like Sarah. Especially because Sarah has a gorgeous body,” he joked. “Tracey was a bit chubby.”

  “Akis!” Sofia scolded him. “As if it weren’t enough you broke the poor girl’s heart, you’re speaking ill of her too! You boys . . .”

  “Why, I never made her any promises!”

  “Huh!” retorted Sofia, annoyance rising inside her. The sting from Danny’s last letter was still raw, and he had used those very words. “What is it about you men declaring you never made any promises? As if proclaiming your love in words is the only thing that would bind you. What about your actions?”

  Akis now looked ashen. He was also taken aback. What did I say to make her look so insulted? He put out both hands, palms facing upwards. “Relax, Sofia mou! I was just saying!”

  She waved her hands frantically at him. “No, don’t say, don’t even bother! You guys are all the same. You barge into a girl’s heart with the sensitivity of a stampede of rhinos!”

  “Sofia, wait, I—” Akis couldn’t believe it. His cousin had sprung up from her seat and was now leaving in a huff.

  “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” she said, waving a vague goodbye over her shoulder, never turning around. Her face was animated with sorrow and frustration. On her way out, she brought the brim of her new sunhat low over her brow to stop any passers-by from looking at her. Inwardly, she felt thankful she wasn’t wearing the damn hat Danny had given her, for now she felt so cross she knew she’d have torn it to pieces in a single, swift move. Men are so insensitive!

  At the bar, Akis turned to Loula, his face deadpan. “What on earth did I say?”

  Loula served him a fiery glare. “Nothing. You’re just a guy. And by definition, you’re all pigs.”

  Akis exhaled with exasperation. “What about Steve then? Is he a pig too?”

  “Funnily enough, he’s anything but. Why do you think I’m acting like I’ve won the lottery? You shouldn’t have said those words to Sofia, Akis. And if you ask me, you shouldn’t have broken Tracey’s heart either. Sofia cannot help but make the connections. You had it coming today.”

  Akis slapped himself on the head. “Oh shit, you’re right. I’ve acted like an ass. What do I do?”

  Don’t worry. She won't hold it against you. Knowing her, she’ll probably return tomorrow to apologise for her outburst. Just be careful what you say to her. She’s just too vulnerable right now.”

  Chapter 9

  A week later, on the big day, Sofia woke up with a bitter taste in her mouth. A crazy thought had crossed her mind the night before, that by some weird miracle, perhaps Steve was bringing Danny along as a surprise. The preposterous idea had twirled in her mind all night, depriving her of sleep till the wee hours of the morning.

  Now, in the cold light of day and with a fuzzy head, she had to face the world resigned from the stupid thought. All the bitterness she’d been fighting off for the past couple of days returned this morning with a vengeance. Why can't I be happy like Loula? Why can't Danny return to Vassilaki for me too this summer?

  She shook her head to chase the awkward thoughts away, then scolded herself for not being able to just be happy for her friend, without the bitterness getting in the way. She wanted to. So badly. But it was so damn hard to do.

  Shrieks and squeals of excitement echoed from the white-washed yard outside. It was Nana. She and her family had arrived a couple of days earlier, and they were staying for a few days which meant Sofia had Dora and Nana’s company from morning to bedtime again. The girls were a godsend to her.

  Nana was slowly turning into a teenager. It was so evident now, her body changing to produce just prominent curves in all the right places, the corners of her face turning angular, her features all the more reshaping themselves to appear less childlike and more feminine.

  Sofia couldn’t believe how much taller she’d grown since last summer. This year, she even wore her very first bra. Her sister and Sofia kept teasing her about it by pulling the strap on her back all day long, causing her to shout out her complaints to her mother incessantly. Just yesterday afternoon, Aunt Rini had come out of the kitchen in response, ladle in hand, and pretended to be chasing Dora down the lane just to please her little one, but on her way back to her tiny kitchen, sh
e made sure to pull her bra strap once too, causing her to wail in protest.

  But deep down, Nana was chuffed to bits with all the attention, and the idea of growing up. Everyone knew that well so they played along, causing the girl’s cheeks to get rosy with glee every time they teased her.

  After breakfast, the girls sat together on the front yard to chat.

  “So, Loula’s boyfriend is coming today?” asked Dora.

  “Yes. We’ll meet him at the beach this morning. Loula’s bringing him along. He was to arrive very early this morning and take a taxi to the village. You know, he must be in her house right now.” Sofia’s eyes lit up at the realisation.

  “Why don’t we go there and meet him?” asked Nana, bursting with excitement.

  “No, that would be rude. We hardly know Mrs Danda,” said her sister, causing Sofia to nod her assent.

  Nana pulled a face and looked away.

  “No, Dora is right. We shouldn’t disturb them on the first day. Besides, as I said, we’ll see him soon enough.”

  “Is he handsome?” asked Nana, her eyes glinting.

  “Yes, he is,” answered Sofia.

  “What does he look like?”

  “He’s tall and blond.”

  “I bet he’s not as handsome as your guy from last summer.”

  Sofia met Dora’s gaze and then looked away, pretending not to listen to what Nana had said.

  Nana nudged Sofia on the arm. “I said—”

  “Enough, Nana. She heard you,” said Dora in a hushed tone.

  Nana frowned. “If she heard me, why didn’t she answer then?”

  “I did hear you, Nana mou. I just didn’t have an answer to that,” said Sofia, resigned from outsmarting her little cousin.

  “So, if your guy looked like the singer of Wet Wet Wet, who does Loula’s guy look like?” Nana tilted her head to the side, her eyes glazed over with anticipation. She loved the pin-up posters she and her sister put up on their bedroom walls and hoped Sofia’s answer would be someone she knew; a singer or an actor she liked.