The Flow

by Effrosyni Moschoudi

  “Slapper?” said Sofia, frowning.

  “You know, a trashy girl. Everything you’re not.”

  That made her feel a bit better, and Steve squeezed her arm gently, then left the girls behind to get his friend. He returned in a flash with Danny, who opened up his arms, beside himself with mirth.

  “Sofia! Loula!” he said, seemingly torn about which one to kiss and cuddle first. With typical spontaneity, Loula grabbed him and squeezed him in her arms, making the choice for him. “You naughty boy,” she said, “You didn’t come to Vassilaki this summer with Steve! We missed you!”

  Danny’s jaw dropped, his eyes huge like dinner plates. “Oh my God, you speak English now?” he said, causing the other three to chortle.

  “You plonker, you did it on purpose! Why didn’t you tell me?” he scolded Steve playfully, jabbing him in the ribs.

  Then, he took Sofia in his embrace and kissed her on both cheeks, the Greek way.

  “You remember,” she said.

  “Well, I could hardly forget with my friend here, turning more Greek by the day!” He threw both hands into the air. “That’s all he talks about these days. Greece-Greece-Greece!”

  Everyone laughed, then found a place to sit. Steve and Loula offered to get the drinks from the bar.

  Danny put an arm around Sofia as he sat beside her, the fabric of his white shirt moist from sweat, but she didn’t mind the feel of it against her bare skin. If anything, it tickled her senses something funny.

  “You look really beautiful in that black dress, Sofia . . . I mean, you always look beautiful, but . . . you know what I mean. Damn! That didn’t come out right!” He slapped himself, then rubbed his cheek, pretending it had hurt.

  Sofia giggled and relaxed in his embrace some more. “It’s good to know you haven’t changed that much, after a year.”

  “Well, I think it’s the décor in here,” he said looking around. “Takes me right back to Corfu.”

  She raised her brows. “Coconut trees, volcanoes and monkeys? Really?”

  “Well, we can’t have everything. Shall I tell the owners to paint a few Corfiot villagers staring with googly eyes? Would that work?” he joked, causing her to giggle again.

  “God, you’re beautiful,” he said then. “Only now I realise how much I’ve missed your face, your voice, and your laugh. Will you ever forgive me, Sofia?”

  “Forgive you?” she said, taken aback. Is it the drink talking, or does he really mean it?

  “Yes. You know, for acting like an arse . . . for saying these stupid things in my letters, causing you to stop writing. I still can’t forgive myself, you know.”

  Sofia felt uneasy discussing this with him in this loud, crowded place, at a time when he was clearly mildly intoxicated. Thankfully, she saw Steve and Loula returning then. “We can talk about this another time. But don’t feel so bad. I said some stupid things too.”

  Danny opened his mouth to reply, but then, Steve arrived to offer him a cocktail. He took it in his hand, then removed the other from Sofia’s shoulder and started to half-dance on his seat to the sound of a marvellous song by UB40.

  ***

  The party was well underway. The four friends were swaying with abandon on the dance floor, Danny having forgotten his other friends, his attention now fully trained on Sofia as she danced before him. She kept throwing surreptitious glances to the girl in the red dress from before. She was now all over some other guy, and it seemed he had trouble keeping her on her feet as she danced—or rather bopped—with her arms around him. She kept losing her footing, being unsteady on her feet, obviously too drunk to even realise how ridiculous she was acting. How undignified! Sofia curled her lip with distaste and looked the other way. She’d rather die than act in public like that and thanked her lucky stars for her great reserve and dislike towards alcohol.

  She’d been sipping just one cocktail from the beginning of the evening. Danny on the other hand, had long moved on to beer and had had quite a few pints by now. The warm glow in his eyes told her he was in a very happy place, but thankfully, he was quite collected too. At least, he can take his drink!

  The look of mirth in her eyes drew Danny in like a magnet. He moved closer and put his arms around her. His lips parted to say something then, but the music beat him to it. The first notes of a slow song, the first of the evening, echoed softly in their ears, and Danny’s eyes lit up. He gave a long sigh. “Aaaaah . . . Exactly what I’ve been waiting for,” he exclaimed, taking her in his arms.

  She swayed slowly in his embrace, an easy smile on her face as they started to dance. “Great song,” she said. It was one of her favourites, an oldie from her school days: Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler.

  Danny pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. “Indeed. Makes me want to squeeze you till your eyes pop out,” he said with a squeal of delight, causing her to howl. Moments later, he seemed solemn and lost in thought. Without another word, he bowed his head and buried his face in her neck, kissing her there, breathing in deeply the sweetness of her skin and the floral fragrance emanating from her hair.

  Sofia closed her eyes and cherished the moment as the precious, bittersweet melody pleased her ears. Heaven . . . this is heaven. Or if it’s a dream, please God, never let me wake up!

  Danny’s head swam with excitement and longing now. He lifted his face off her warm skin and sought her lips. In the semi-darkness, Steve and Loula, caught up in the bliss of their own embrace beside them, didn’t even notice.

  Sofia responded to Danny’s kiss with passion. Longing, love and desire, all fused into one, burned her insides like fire as he continued to kiss her. Her mind was now numb and afloat in a sea of bliss, fast approaching that impossibly faraway cave in Paxos, a place she’d thought for so long she’d never find again. But now, there it was, and there he was too, her dream redeemed, her joy indescribable.

  As soon as he drew back, he held her face in both hands, his eyes almost black in the semi-darkness, a silver light in them flowing like liquid metal. “Oh Sofia . . .” he said, bending down to kiss her again, causing her to melt this time, as she found herself in the most blissful place imaginable; a place where time didn’t matter, where her heart could finally find refuge, and where ancient regrets that kept stirring her soul right at its core, could finally gain their redemption. Impossibly, she spared a thought for The Lady then. If she dwells somewhere deep inside my soul, is she happy now? Will she let me be at last, now that Danny’s back?

  By the end of the song, they had grown so caught up in their longing that all they had to do is look in each other’s eyes for a second to know they’d both had enough of dancing for one night. He took her by the hand and led her to a remote, dark sitting area that got illuminated only sparsely. The colourful light fixtures swirled on the ceiling unstoppably, casting iridescent beams all around the hall, but only for a split moment at a time, over a multitude of couples kissing with abandon in the most remote corners. They all seemed simply lost to the world, desire and alcohol having granted them the luxury to pretend, if only for a little while, that no one else existed in this world, other than them.

  Danny and Sofia sat in a similarly dark nook of the hall holding each other tight. Then, with an impossible urge, he drank from her lips again, with equal longing but more tenderness this time, igniting a spark of hope in Sofia’s heart. He loves me . . . He must love me if he kisses me like that . . .

  When their lips finally parted, he took her hand in both of his and gazed into her eyes lovingly. “Sofia, do you remember when I asked you last week why you came to Brighton of all places?”

  “Yes . . . of course. I replied it’s because I wanted to study Art and Design here at the Polytechnic.”

  “I thought you were going to London . . . What are you not telling me?” he asked, a cunning smirk playing on his lips.

  “What are you really asking me, Danny?”

  “Why Brighton, Sofia? Help me out, here . . .” His eyes were pleading
now, one hand exposing its palm to her with earnest.

  Oh no, mister! I’m not giving you myself on a platter. If you want me, you must try harder than that. She cocked her eye at him. “I changed my mind. I’ve always loved to draw and wanted to do something creative.” She tipped her chin. “So, here I am.”

  He squinted his eyes, his lips twisting. “So . . . nothing to do with me?”

  Sofia shrugged. “Well, maybe a little . . .” She couldn’t help it then and inevitably, a little laugh escaped from her lips. She felt too elated after his tender hugs and kisses. Besides, the devilish grin on his face as he listened intently had been way too cute for her to keep her cool long enough.

  In response, he attacked her with a torment of tickles on her sides and neck, causing her to burst into hysterics.

  “No! No! No!” she said in the midst of squeals and shrieks. “Stop! Stop! You’re right! You’re right!”

  When he finally stopped and raised a single brow at her, a mock-demanding look in his eyes, it took her a while to regain her composure.

  “You naughty boy!” she said, slapping him on the arm playfully.

  “Let’s get to the point! What were you saying just now?”

  “Well,” she raised a single shoulder nonchalantly. “I admit that perhaps, it had to do with you a little.”

  “A little?” he asked, putting up his hands and wiggling his fingers, his eyes twinkling with the threat to tickle her some more.

  “No, don’t you dare!” she replied, giggling. “Okay, okay! It had everything to do with you! Happy now?”

  “Happy? I’m delirious to hear that!” he said, his face animated, his arms all over her again.

  Sofia gave a sigh. Now it was out in the open, she had nothing else to give. The ball was in his court. She said nothing else, just leaned back against his warm body as his arms held her, their hands clasped together on her lap. Then, his breath came, soft and urgent, to tickle her ear. “Sofia, I want you . . . I want you to be my girl . . . What do you say?”

  She turned around to look at him, to find his face was solemn, hope vivid in his eyes. They looked like a vast dark sea awaiting the sunrise to regain its warmth.

  “Yes,” she whispered softly, never breaking his gaze. “There’s nothing else I want more.”

  Danny buried his face in her hair, then started to kiss her skin manically then, up and down the length of her long neck. Sofia laughed hysterically. By the time Steve and Loula managed to spot them to sit beside them, they didn’t even have to ask. The stars twinkling in their eyes told them both that the inevitable had happened at last.

  Chapter 44

  It had been just over a week. Life was bliss for Sofia, now that Danny was finally hers. Every morning in the past week, the first thing she’d do upon waking up was to give a huge smile and welcome the new day, another day where he was in her life. She’d meet him at least for a few minutes every day, if only for a short interlude at a nearby café or at the campus cafeteria.

  They had visited the Palace Pier a few times, once with Loula and Steve. Danny had even won a wrist watch for Sofia in the coin machines there, which she now wore proudly every day, sighing at it audibly every now and then during class. It made Annika, who’d sit beside her, snigger to her heart’s content.

  The Swedish girl had proved to be a wonderful, fun roommate for Sofia, even though she still hadn’t come up with the right question that would grant them a common interest. It was a hilarious joke between them by now, that only Sylvia was privy to as well, causing the three of them to laugh hysterically whenever Annika posed yet another question only to fail again.

  That Saturday morning, seeing there were no classes or workshops to attend, Sofia arranged to meet Danny in the morning. Much to her delight, he took her to visit the Royal Pavilion and she loved it. An hour or so later, they exited through the grand entrance, their minds still swimming with images of grandeur, finesse, and fine art from a long lost past.

  He took her hand and led her to a nearby bench in the surrounding gardens. They sat in a tight embrace, the fine aroma of roses wafting in the air. It was a greyish kind of day, not sunny but not too grim either. At least it was dry. A chill wind blew from the sea, and the clouds fleeted past, allowing feeble sunrays to escape through every now and then, to brighten up the world a few blissful moments at a time.

  They sat there for a while, just watching the world go by. People, and even whole families, wandered around idly. Solitary couples ambled hand in hand and others went past alone, looking deep in thought. A few among them, strode with purpose. These were clearly on their way to the office or a meeting, dressed smartly in business attire, clutching portfolios and large shoulder bags.

  One of the business people was a tall blond in her twenties. She was dressed in a fashionable pinstripe suit, her hair pulled back in a tight bun. Her huge blue eyes peered out from behind her stylish glasses as she kept her gaze straight ahead, her lashes long and dark, heavy with mascara, in a trashy kind of way. As she walked away, Danny’s eyes seemed glued to her.

  “Cor, blimey,” he mumbled as he watched her go. “That girl has one classy body on her.”

  “Excuse me?” Sofia broke their embrace and raised her brows.

  “What?” said Danny shrugging his shoulders. “She’s pretty; that’s all I’m saying.”

  “That’s not right!”

  “Why not? Me and my mates do it all the time.”

  “Well, I’m not one of your mates!”

  “Come on Sofia, you’re being silly now.” He put out a hand to caress her hair, but she pushed it away.

  “Danny, you can’t be with me and say such things about other girls. I thought you’d apologised about doing the same kind of thing in your letters, remember?”

  “But Sofia, really, this means nothing. I’m just a guy. What do you want me to do? Gouge my eyes out?”

  “I didn’t say that. But you can’t do this in front of me. I won’t have it,” her tone was firm enough, but to emphasize further, she even put up a hand before his face.

  “You know, I’d never have guessed you were the jealous type.” He gave an easy smile. This time, when he reached out to hold her, she let him.

  Things would have been all right after that, had this been the only occurrence, but sadly it was not. In the days that followed, as if he were doing it on purpose to set her off, Danny now kept voicing his appreciation of women around him unstoppably, causing Sofia a lot of upset. Sometimes she’d complain in a similar fashion like she had in the park that first time, and other times she’d simply say nothing and lump it, hoping he’d soon stop. But on the contrary, a month later the remarks had grown persistent. Now, his face would even light up with glee every time he pointed out a girl’s luscious lips, voluptuous figure, pert bottom, or big boobs.

  That evening he’d taken her out for a meal, but by the time they sat at the restaurant, Sofia’s mood was spoiled already, her patience worn too thin by his poor attitude these days. Their relationship was deteriorating, but it wasn’t just because of the comments he made about other girls. The other day, he’d asked her to come to his house and have sex, and she’d said no. It had been a shock to her, seeing that in a month he hadn’t invited her to his house at all. She would have preferred for him to take her there to meet his dad and his sister first, whom he never even spoke about. What little she knew of them she’d heard from Steve.

  In her mind, she had already been thinking he couldn’t be serious about her if he didn’t care to introduce her to his family. Asking her for sex had complicated things further, seeing that his mentions of other girls had put her off him. And there was the other thing, of course. She was a virgin still, but she hadn’t told him. Letting him be the one to take her virginity was all she’d wanted all this time, but now, she’d lost her trust in him. Recently, every day, he had been reverting to the distant Danny who wrote those letters to Athens, alienating her. Now, of course, she knew the whole truth; why he was doing i
t. She’d talked to Steve about it, and he’d said Danny had stopped seeing his therapist in the past month. The news had filled her with dread. What was Danny thinking? Did he think he was cured? Because from where Sofia was sitting, he seemed a total mess, in desperate need of help and guidance on how to treat women.

  “What is it, Sofia? You’re awfully quiet today,” he remarked as he took another bite from his delicious mushroom pizza, but the shadow in his eyes had signalled to her he wasn’t right himself either. He’d grown distant after all these fights they’d been having. By now, in his messed up head, he also made ridiculous assumptions about what her refusal to share his bed probably meant. His dismay, coupled with her own, made for a chilly atmosphere between them at the little dining table.

  “Danny, I’d rather not fight again tonight if you don’t mind,” she said matter-of-factly, breaking his gaze almost at once, to stare down at her plate of pasta, her appetite tiny as it was. She took a forkful and put it in her mouth, hoping he’d respect her request.

  “Why is it that you think I’m up for a fight, anyway?” he asked, his tone rising.

  “Danny, if you don’t calm down now, I’ll leave you here to eat on your own, I swear to God!” She had raised her voice, despite her best intentions. The moment she had, she knew it’d been a huge mistake.

  “Leave me here on my own? Go on, if you want to go, go. I won’t stop you,” he said in a shrill voice, his expression alight with indignation as he put up his hands.

  Sofia lifted her gaze to meet his eyes with dread. Knowing what she knew about his abandonment issues with his long lost mother, granted, perhaps these hadn’t been the best words she could have picked. “Look, I’m sorry, Danny. I didn’t mean it. I just want to have a nice, quiet meal with you without any awkwardness. Is this too much to ask?”

  “And I wanted to have a bit of quiet time with you too . . .” he said, bringing his voice down a few notches, leaning forward to stare at her and put his point across. “Was that too much to ask, Sofia? I’m your boyfriend! It’s not a lot, is it? We’ve been together for a month now, for goodness sake. Don’t you think it’s high time for . . . you know?”