by Lucy Rains
Selfish? Self-absorbed? Probably. But I was terrified. There was no doctor I could go to, no one I could see for blood tests and thyroid screening like normal people might. Something was wrong inside of me and my own personal physician had no idea why.
I was successfully ripping my thumbnail off with my teeth when Alex came out to sit by me, holding a plate. Which turned out to be holding my uneaten sandwich.
“You should eat.”
“No thanks,” I said, going to work on my pointer finger.
“Stop that,” he batted at my hand that was in my mouth.
I looked at him, disturbed and annoyed at his intrudence of my sulky moment. “Did you need something?”
He held the plate of food out in front of me, waiting for me to take it. “Be a good girl and eat your lunch so we can go get some ice cream.”
I took the plate from him and set it down on the coffee table in front of me, hoping it would encourage him to leave me alone.
“Just you and me,” he said, nudging my arm, and nodding his head towards the sandwich.
I grabbed the sandwich and took a large bite before setting it back down.
“Like a date?” I mumbled, very unladylike with a mouthful of food.
Alex beamed, “Yes. Like a date.”
“What if I don’t want to go on a date with you?” I asked seriously, but knew he felt my underlying banter.
He leaned back and put an arm behind my shoulders. “We’re attracted to each other. We should go on a date.”
“I’m attracted to pop-tarts.” I swallowed, “But I don’t date pop-tarts.”
“I think we all know that I taste way better than any pop-tart.”
Honestly, I had no desire to even eat, much less get ice cream. But getting out for ice cream sounded better than sitting around pouting. Even the normal worries about leaving the beach house didn’t nag at the back of my mind. After I took another bite and had swallowed again, I raised an eyebrow. “Just you and me?”
His eyes lit up, but for Alex that meant he looked more mischievous than normal.
*******************
Alex’s ice cream shop was a forty minute drive from the beach house. Apparently it was worth it because it was the best ice cream in Florida. Says Alex, but I didn’t care. He was good at filling silence, distracting me from my depressing thoughts. It made up for all the other times he was gigantic pain in the ass.
He found this little shop last summer, he told me. The guys had been sent down to this area for an operation that involved bringing in a criminal intent on blackmailing the president. Alex wouldn’t go into details about the op, but said they had stayed after to enjoy the beach and stumbled upon the ice cream parlor while doing so.
A little bell jingled and the aroma of vanilla and cream permeated my senses. The guy behind the counter smiled and went back to stirring something in a large bucket. Alex grabbed my hand and led me towards the end of the display case to point out a particular flavor. When I leaned forward and saw what he was pointing to, my face broke out into a huge smile.
“Superman ice cream?” I read aloud, looking at his pleased expression. He asked the guy behind the counter for a sample. The ice cream was a beautiful combination of blue, red and yellow colors all swirled together. It was bright, interesting to look at. I thought back to that day in the rain when Alex had said this was the ice cream he would be. I saw the resemblance.
Though the Superman ice cream tasted good, I picked out a chocolate covered rice krispie treat instead. There were too many good things that I had wanted to try but Alex promised he would bring me back.
On the drive home, I reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you,” I said, feeling his emotions turn warm. The brief respite from worrying about myself had been pleasant. Something I didn’t know I needed.
My eyes looked out the windshield, watching the sun set over the ocean and casting orange and pink rays of light through the clouds.
Alex smiled his wicked grin, “We should play truth or truth.”
My smile vanished and my eyes widened.
“Just you and me,” he said.
I shook my head vehemently, “I don’t want to.”
“Oh come on, just a few. We’ll keep it tame. And I promise to be completely honest with you.”
“Alex,” I pulled my hand away and rubbed at my face.
“Okay, I’ll start.” He rubbed at his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “What is your favorite thing about me?”
I cleared my throat and rolled my eyes. It was a pretty harmless question. I debated going for sarcasm, but decided to be just be honest. “Your mouth.”
I thought about his lips, the way his mouth looked when he smiled. The way it felt when pressed on my mouth. How his lips were perfectly proportioned. How his mouth tasted…
Alex cleared his own throat then, and with a big grin that told me he knew my every thought said, “You’re turn.”
“How many times a day do you think about sex?”
He laughed out loud, throwing his head back. “I have no idea. A lot.”
“Like, what is a lot? Every hour?”
“More,” he nodded. “Much more.”
My cheeks burned and I shook my head. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know that. Actually, who was I kidding? The idea of sex interested me more than frightened me.
“Favorite place to be kissed?” He continued.
“Um...that’s hard to answer because I haven’t been kissed everywhere yet. And I haven’t even done a whole lot of kissing in general. So, I’m pretty happy with my mouth.”
Alex laughed but I could see him shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Maybe we should change the subject?” I suggested. “This might make for a long ride home otherwise.”
Alex stilled, his face becoming serious. His emotions shifted, turning warm to unsure. Something was on his mind. Something he wanted to ask but knew I wouldn’t like.
“What is it?” I asked curiously. Since when was Alex serious about anything?
His playful expression turned serious. “Why don’t you want to go to Paris?”
Understanding his mood shift, my stomach turned sour. I turned away, using the scenery as a focus point. My arms folded and my hands grabbed opposite elbows. I wanted to shield myself away from him and his unwanted questions.
“Jade?”
A sigh heaved from my chest, wishing we could go back to sex questions. “At first? Because I wanted a break. But I realize that there is no break for us. Not until we can really disappear.”
He waited a second to see if I would continue on my own. When I didn’t, he glanced over at me. “And now?”
I shrugged and rolled my head, trying to ease the tension building in my neck. “I’m not ready.”
“Ready for what?” He asked, his tone incredulous. “For answers? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
He was right, I had wanted answers. But Charles's words changed something inside of me. “To sit there, and be told by someone that I’m an alien? That I’m not even from this planet? No, I’m not ready for that.”
He gave a joyless chuckle, the kind someone does when they’re irritated with what you’re saying. “It's not the answer that you wanted, so now what? You’re going to stick your head in the sand? Avoid what needs to be done?”
A spark of indignation bubbled in me. “I’m not avoiding anything. I’m just taking some time to come to terms with the information he gave us.”
“Sounds like avoidance to me,” Alex said out of the side of his mouth.
I didn’t respond, not wanting to argue with him.
"I think you're scared."
Again, I didn’t respond. There was nothing I could say to that, knowing he was right.
“What are you scared of? Being told that we’re from a different planet? So what? Let’s face what’s next and see what other information he has.”
“Careful Alex, you sound awfully mature.” I didn’t mean for
my response to be sarcastic but it came out that way. "I need you to cut me some slack. There's no social norm, no sort of etiquette that calls for how someone should react when being told these kinds of things."
"But to hide from it?" He gave me a pointed look. "Pretty sure that's frowned on in any situation."
“Look, I don’t know what else to say. Being told I that wasn’t human, not even a genetically modified one, was...I can’t even find the right word. It really shook me. I mean, I always knew we were different. But a completely different species?”
“At least it's an answer though.”
I nodded, my mouth tight. "Sure. We know we’re not lab rats. And I think it’s enough for now.”
Alex shook his head, I ignored him and turned to continue looking outside the window at the fields flying by. I knew I was being stubborn. Avoiding what needed to be done next. I just couldn't bring myself to take that next step.
“What if the rest of the guys wanted to go?”
My eyes closed slowly, staying shut while I thought about his question, the answer so simple.
“Then I would go.”
Chapter 7
I was drinking a bland protein smoothie the next morning, standing in the middle of the kitchen, when I heard the soft rumble of deep male voices.
Pierce’s voice was the first one I heard, and then Gavin’s. My ears pricked, trying to pick up their words. There was a jangle of keys, and then the sound of the front door opening. My heart leapt in my chest and I lowered the cup from my mouth.
“...noon.”
“...talk to her.”
“She’s fine…”
The words trailed off and I heard shoes shuffling as the front door closed.
I slammed my mug down, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and ran to the front room. Pierce still stood by the front door, arms crossed, his eyes meeting mine.
I’m going with him, I said, determined.
Pierce stared at me for a second, mentally debating. “In your pajamas?”
I looked down, spied a sweatshirt on the couch and threw it over my head. It smelled like Kyson and hung to my thighs.
Knowing I only had seconds, I slipped my feet into flip flops and threw the door open.
Gavin was climbing into the little beater truck he had bought the day after we had arrived. I stepped out onto the front porch, pushing my hair from my eyes, and hopped down the steps.
The engine turned over in the rusty, cream colored pick up and Gavin did not acknowledge my presence. Irritation once again seeped from his mind as I walked closer. His eyes did not lift, his head did not turn. He was ignoring me.
Before he could pull away, I ran around the truck and tried to open the passenger door, only to find it locked. I thumped a fist on the window. “Let me in!”
He looked up at me, his hazel eyes thick with disinterest and closed off to emotion. There was no movement to reach over and pull the locking mechanism up.
“Gavin!”
While holding my stare, Gavin shifted the truck into reverse and began pulling backwards. The truck moved slowly, crunching on the gravel driveway and inching towards the street. He looked away from me to peer into the rearview mirror. Before he made it to the asphalt I grabbed onto the side of the truck and hopped into the bed, settling my back onto the hard metal siding. I waved at Gavin through the back window.
The irritation flared into anger and the truck paused, idling softly. I felt the transmission shift and saw the driver door open.
“Damn it, Jade!”
He slammed his door shut with enough force to rock the bed. His nostrils flared and he put fists on his hips.
“I’m coming with you,” I announced calmly.
“Jade,” he ran a hand over his face, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I smiled, knowing that was not even a remote possibility.
“But you need to get out,” he glared at me, “and go back inside.”
We looked at each other for a moment, the sound of the truck idling in the background, mixed with the cry of gulls.
A part of me wanted to respect his request. To go inside, and give him the space he wanted. But another part of me knew he needed help. The kind of help only I could give. I just had no idea how to do that. I had given him space. That didn't seem to have helped so it was time to try a different method.
Suddenly his hand shot out and grabbed onto my elbow, pulling me towards him with so much force that I was propelled head first over the edge of the truck bed, where Gavin grabbed my waist and flipped me over his shoulder.
My yelp of surprise was mixed with a colorful cursery I had never before spoken. I smacked his firm rear and hollered his name.
Gavin set me down on the grassy front lawn, sauntered back to the truck and got inside.
My chest heaved with the shock of his physical removal. I was hurt, disappointed, and angry. I brushed the hair out of my face that been ruffled in my flip. Rolling the sleeves of my oversized sweatshirt up, I held my hands up as a warning.
Gavin gave me a bored look and then began backing out of the driveway.
Balling up my emotions, I pulled my hands back and then threw them forward like a double ball pitch. Energy flew out of my hands and knocked into the back of Gavin’s truck bed. Rubber on concrete screeched as I watched the truck spin sideways in the driveway. The front of the truck was now facing in my direction, where Gavin and I had the ultimate stare off.
I folded my arms and shifted my hips. Wind whipped around my bare legs as my jersey cotton lounge shorts did nothing to protect me. My hair flew around my face and I was forced to move it again, so that I could see Gavin.
After a minute of inactivity, I stepped slowly over the cement edging and back onto the gravel driveway. Gavin’s eyes followed my every movement. His lips pinched together and he thumped a fist on the steering wheel. In one motion he jerked the lock up on my door.
I flew into the truck before he could change his mind.
We sat in the driveway for another minute before Gavin maneuvered the angled truck out of the gravel and onto the asphalt. His anger was still pulsing in the confined space and I knew I was on thin ice. Like tissue paper thin.
I stayed quiet, waiting until we were far enough away from the house that he wouldn’t turn around and force me out if I started speaking.
When we had been driving for five minutes I couldn’t keep my questions back any longer. "What is going on?" I asked. "You leave every day and don't tell me where?”
He sat silent, still as stone.
“Since when do we keep secrets from each other? Now? After everything?” My eyes burned with impending tears and I blinked. “Why do you get to go off by yourself, and then not tell me why? Or where?”
Finally he looked at me, for only a second, and then back to the road.
“Why?” I asked softly. “Why are you shutting me out?”
His anger simmered, burning at a low heat. “This seems to be the best way.”
“The best way?” I repeated.
“Yes,” he answered quickly. “To be by myself, on my own.”
Gavin’s answer was not a surprise to me, I knew that he preferred solitude in the past but I thought things were better.
“I thought you were doing better?”
He glanced at me.
I kept still in my seat, hoping for any piece of insight to what was going on in his head. He wiped his mouth, pushed at his lips with his fist as he thought quietly.
“Can you tell me where you’re going?
“We’re almost there,” he grumbled, as if unwillingly.
I kept my eyes peeled for any clues but I wasn’t familiar with the area. We pulled into a public beach parking lot and Gavin settled the truck on the outskirts of the asphalt before turning off the engine.
“The beach?” I thought aloud. “You just come to the beach?”
“I go to lots of places, Princess,” he said as he leaned over and grabbed a water bottle I had not
noticed resting by my feet. “But yes, this is one of the places I come to.”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. There was a beach right in our backyard. So if he came here, it had to be because he truly wanted to be alone. Away from us. From me.
Before I could say anything he was out of the truck and slammed the door shut.
I hurried out and took long strides to catch up with him. He was pecking at his phone, taking a drink with his water bottle, but not walking towards the sand like I had expected. Instead, he went onto the sidewalk and started walking down the boardwalk.
“Gavin?”
He glanced up at me, offered a smile even though I felt his negative mood. “Try to keep up.”
“Keep up?” I repeated.
Then he started jogging.
Jogging.
My eyes went wide and I immediately began picking up my feet, running behind him, then along side of him.
“You…” I breathed, “go running here?”
He didn’t answer.
“You didn’t say you go running.”
“You didn’t ask,” he pointed out, completely unwinded. “Only asked where I was going.”
I cursed him up and down in my head. He knew I wouldn’t be able to run with him, or keep up. Even if I was wearing normal running shoes and not flip flop sandals, I didn’t have the strength to. He knew this. He knew exactly what he was doing in choosing not to be open with me about where he was going.
Tears burned behind my eyes and I stopped, humiliated, hurt, unwilling to take another step. I watched him take a few more strides and then turned around. My feet smacked loudly on the asphalt and my arms swung at my side. Within a few seconds I felt him come closer until he was blocking my path.
Not meeting his eyes, I tried to take a step around him.
“Jade,” he started, trying to grab onto my hip.
I smacked his hand away and continued walking. His body was in front of me again and this time I stopped. “Don’t even try to apologize to me or I will lay you out flat and leave you to the seagulls.”
“You can’t,” he smirked.
My teeth gritted, “I can. And I will gladly take the headache that comes with it.”