A Passion's Scourge

by Sarah S. Collins

  _ As it is your purpose to contract the holy Matrimony, unify your right hands and manifest your consent before God and the Church. The priest recites before the betrothed.

  _ I, John, take you, Elena, to be my wife, and swear to be loyal to you, to love you and respect you, for better or worse, in sickness or health, for everyday of our lives. The same way the bride solemnly expresses her consent. The priest asks for God to benignly confirm the consent manifested by the couple before the Church. Praying once again, the priest asks God to bless the wedding rings. John picks up one of the rings and puts it on Elena’s finger.

  _ Elena, accept this ring, as a sign of my love and fidelity. In name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Likewise Elena declaims as she puts the ring on John’s finger. A new prayer and a bridal blessing are recited, as the priest blesses the wedded and the people when finishing the prayer.

  Elena happily smiled the whole time while John showcased a serious look. The photographer registred all the moments in pictures that at the time where only in black and white, then took a picture of the couple alone.

  Not long after, Elena became Mrs. Miller.

  After the wedding ceremony, a small reception was held for the guests at Elena’s family’s farm. At the end of the party Arthur, Elisabeth and the children stayed in Allegan and Elena went to Detroit with John in his Chevrolet Impala.

  Soon after marrying, Elena and John didn’t have anywhere to go and ended up having to sleep in roadside motels.

  The couple didn’t have a Honeymoon.

  They spent the wedding night in a hotel. Elena expected more from his first night of love with John.

  2

  John worked practically every night and Elena spent most of the time alone in her hotel room. The rooms were horrible and didn’t offer any sort of quality. The bathroom wasn’t daily cleaned and the hygienic service was very irregular. After a few days, Elena contracted bacteria on her toes, while taking a shower.

  Elena seemed locked in her room, limited to leave only when she needed to eat. She was always a very pretty young lady with beautiful long hairs down to her waist, an sculptural body and skin as bright as snow. A beautiful lady capable of attracting all men’s looks, however the harassment was excessively abusive.

  Six months had passed since the wedding. John was discharged from his position for having gotten into a fight with another employee. Without the job, John couldn’t afford the hotel dailies anymore. At dawn, John checked out of the hotel and left with Elena through the city streets searching for a place where they could spend the night. Moments later he decides to leave Elena waiting for him sitting on a bus stop.

  _ Well, you wait for me here while I’ll go try to find somewhere we can stay.

  _ Don’t talk to anyone.

  _ I’ll be back soon.

  Without hesitation, Elena nodded and followed her husband’s orders. The hours went by and John hadn’t returned, Elena started to get apprehensive. The bus stop was deserted. It was completely risky, for Elena to be alone in a totally unknown place. A few instants later a person approaches Elena and sits right beside her and in a certain way he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Elena kept her eyes fixated ahead. Right afterwards the very gallant individual started his flattering.

  _ Wow, what a beautiful lady!

  _ What a pretty miss, looking like a little doll.

  _ Aren’t you apprehensive to be here all alone?

  _ Won’t you tell me your name?

  _ Look at me, I want to show you something.

  Elena doesn’t feel comfortable and tries to avoid the man who insists on being inconvenient.

  _ Don’t come any closer, you creep!

  _ I’m not alone.

  _ I’m a married woman and my husband is on his way back. Says Elena holding her umbrella.

  _ Alright, no need to get twitchy.

  _ I was just giving you a compliment.

  _There’s nothing to fear. Said the stranger in a sarcastic tone.

  At last other people arrive at the bus stop and finally the individual gets up and leaves.

  Elena was then tired, hungry and thirsty and as the sun goes down, the figure of John appears on the horizon.

  _ Sorry it took so long, it was hard to find a hostel with vacancy for couples, so we’re gonna have to sleep in separate rooms. Says John with a pretty smile.

  Elena chose not to tell him what happened. The couple went to the hostel. With 64 rooms divided in dormitory for eight people, women and children slept separated from men. The hostel offered breakfast, laundry and bedding.

  Elena lived like that for a long time after the wedding. About six months later, John was rehired in his old job and with his first salary he was finally able to rent a house located behind a Catholic Church, at Lansing Street, Detroit. A small and very simple house. The priest rented the house with a lot of furniture inside, so it wasn’t necessary to buy more furniture.

  At last, the couple had a home.

  Claiming to be doing it for safety reasons, John started to leave Elena locked inside the house whenever he left for work.

  Elena’s life with John wasn’t easy, as the days went by John started to change. Besides leaving her alone several times in the hotel rooms, _ sometimes even starving_, he didn’t treat her like before anymore, in every sense. That kind man for whom Elena had fallen in love with had disappeared completely, and now he was always rude and inimical to her. As the days went by, Elena started to get intrigued, for the money of the job never turned up and her married life was nothing but great poverty. When John didn’t return home for an entire week , Elena was worried and desperate, she didn’t know where John worked and she also didn’t have his phone number, not knowing what to do the only solution was to hope that he’d come back soon and pray that no harm had come to him. Two days after nearly having gone to the police to look for the husband, John arrives home and doesn’t say a word to Elena, he enters the house as if nothing had even happened. John takes off his work clothes and takes a long shower and asks Elena what she had done for lunch, for he was starving. Elena is baffled at his behavior and then decides to ask John.

  _ Where were you this whole time?

  _ How could you leave me alone, what if I‘d gotten sick or someone had broken into the house to hurt me... Elena continues to talk like a blabbermouth.

  _ Why don’t you say anything?

  _ Tell me something, I have a right to know, I’m your wife.

  _ You owe me an explanation! But John didn’t want to talk about the subject.

  _ I don’t owe you nothing, let me sleep alone and shut the hell up! Said John in a tone of scorn, laid on the bed and turned on his back. Elena didn’t contain her anger and continued to rant about the subject. That was enough to trigger John to jump off the bed quickly. He pushed Elena to the floor violently and then grabbed her by the neck, stroking it with strength. Elena flipped, trying to get his hands out of her, but John was stronger than her. Elena screamed for help hoping that someone would listen and come to help her. When he heard the screams coming from inside the house, the priest ran with an acolyte towards the residence. Entering the property, the priest saw the unfortunate scene. The priest begged John to release her _ John feared to be arrested_ and after nearly strangling her to death, he released her. Elena, nearly losing her strength, ran staggering towards the door, not knowing what to do. She was completely disturbed and didn’t know where to go. _That was the first time John beat up Elena. A neighbor who Elena had a great friendship with was sitting in front of the doorway of her residence. When she saw her friend running and stumbling on her own legs, she welcomed her into her house. The neighbor took Elena inside her house and gave her a glass of water with sugar so she’d calm down, and realized what had happened to her friend. She told Elena that she could stay in her house as long as she needed.

  Elena was completely disoriented and emotionally shaken.

  Three days later, when John arrived from work, he w
ent where Elena was to talk to her.

  Elena spontaneously welcomed John.

  _ I’d like to ask for forgiveness and say that I know that my my unacceptable attitude was deplorable.

  _ I’m embarrassed for what I’ve done and I’m deeply sorry.

  _ On that day I was having problems at work, that’s why I was so inconsequential, I hope that you can forgive me and come home with me. John wrapped up his apology by giving her a box of chocolate. Elena believed in her husband’s sweet words for she was still completely in love. Her eyes were shining and she deeply missed him. Right then she went back home with him. But what Elena couldn’t expect was that John hadn’t been completely honest with her, and that that wouldn’t be the only aggression to be committed by John.

  In many occasions Elena was beat up and suffered in silence without never having sought a police station to press charges on John, for she feared what he could do to her after he got an intimation from the station. And everytime after the punches and kicks that he visited upon Elena, John went out and came back later to apologize, wanting to have sexual activities with her afterwards. Even if still hurt Elena gave her body to John. Most of the times when she was abused, Elena had multiple bruises over her body. And even when she was dressed, the marks of the aggression were noticeable for other people. Elena was ashamed to walk on the street and for that reason she stayed only in the house until the bruises were completely gone.

  Elena couldn’t handle living that tense and excessively exhausting routine that caused her an intense emotional discomfort. Her cry was inevitable, and Elena cried every night alone at home. The depressible symptons flowed continuously. Sometimes she caught herself thinking about taking a medicine to sleep and never wake up again or even tie a rope around her neck and hang herself, or maybe jump in the river; but the image of her parents came to her mind and she gave up killing herself.

  A year and a half had passed since she was married and ever since the wedding she didn’t have news about how her parents were. Elena had never seen them again and didn’t even get any letters from them. The longing and anguish got bigger every time, however there was nothing to be done about that. Elena felt an enormous void in her heart and great sadness that never went away. She still hadn’t gotten pregnant and really wanted to have a child soon to keep her company, fill that great void and also so she wouldn’t feel so alone anymore. Elena prayed to God every night asking that he’d bless her with a child. Her prayer was soon answered with the confirmation of a pregnancy exam a month later. Elena was so radiant that she couldn’t contain her joy, afterwards she prayed to God thanking Him for the grace she received. When John arrived from work she promptly gave him the news of her pregnancy, but he showed no reaction. Elena was perplexed by his coldness, she had thought that John would be as happy as she was. But at that moment she realized she was the only one happy with the baby’s arrival.

  After four months of pregnancy, Elena was alone at home and softly stroked her belly while she cooked a soup to feed an incontrollable desire she had. Moments after Elena sits on the table to eat her soup and she feels a strong pain in the inferior part of her abdomen. It could be just regular cramps, but as the day went by the pain only got stronger and she noticed she’d lost a small amount of blood. John had left the house key on top of a fitment. Elena changed her clothes and decided to ask the priest for help. When she arrived on the Church she told the priest what was happening.

  _ My child how could you take so long to ask for my help?

  _ Tell me what are you feeling right now?

  _ I still feel cramps, strong ones.

  _ Well I think it’s best to take you straight to the hospital and God help us so it’s not too late.

  The priest left a note with the acolyte of his church for when John got back from work. And put Elena in his car, a black Voyage. Afterwards, he took her straight to the hospital. When they arrived in the hospital they went straight to the emergency wing. Elena was bleeding, and it wouldn’t stop. When Elena saw the doctor arrive, she told him she was pregnant and asked that he’d save her child’s life. After Elena had gone through a series of exams the doctor gives her terrible news, _she had lost her baby. Elena was in shock, she wouldn’t stop crying. The priest tried to comfort her by speaking a few words of encouragement, help and comfort.

  Elena had to stay in the hospital for one more day so she could recover from the abortion. John had visited one single time to bring her a piece of clothing when she was discharged from the hospital. The two of them went home in a taxi that was waiting for them in front of the hospital. Arriving home Elena went straight to bed, for she had a terrible headache. And there was still a little bit of bleeding that the doctor had said was normal due to the abortion. It was about time for John to leave for work.

  _ I’m ready Elena and I have to go.

  _ Do you think you’ll be okay by yourself?

  _Yes, you can go in peace. Whispered Elena, following that John kissed her goodbye on the forehead and left. Later Elena was feeling better, she got up from the bed to make some tea. After the tea was ready she grabbed the mug, poured some of the tea and added two spoons of sugar. Then she went to the yard, and sat in a wooden rocking chair. As she drank her tea sshe observed how beautiful were the stars on that clean dark blue sky. The moon was high on the sky, and showed total exuberance with its form. Elena was dazzled with so much beauty, but still felt great sadness in her heart with the flashbacks that came and went in her mind. She remembered clearly every good and bad thing she had lived in her life, from the difficulties she had gone through when she was a teenager to that moment. Elena stopped to reflect and came to the conclusion that marrying John had not been a good choice for her, but now it was too late to go back.

  _ My baby’s loss was something that God wanted to show me, or maybe punish me with. Spoke Elena in a quiet tone, and then she prayed to God out loud asking that He’d bless her with another child. It was morning when Elena felt physical exhaustion taking over her body. She thought it was better to retreat back to the house. And try to sleep a little on her empty and cold bed, where she had to spend all nights. While John was at work or even when he had the day off he spent days outside of the house. Elena was so used to this routine that she didn’t even mind it anymore. Actually she thanked God for John staying away from her, only that way she’d avoid the arguments and also didn’t need to put up with him, who most of the times when he arrived home, was completely drunk and puked over the house’s floor.

  When John arrived home, he’d enter the residence morally insulting Elena with scorn. He’d follow it up with physical aggressions. And then he made Elena take off her clothes and have sexual activities with him. After the sexual act Elena felt dirty, depressed and abused, John lied on the bed and fell asleep.

  3

  Only six months had passed since Elena had gone through the abortion.

  Spending an afternoon at some friends’ house, Elena felt constantly sick after having lunch. At that moment she thought it to be because of the food, that was front loaded with seasoning. The housewife was from Turkey and she cooked meals with diverse kinds of seasoning, which made the food tastier and very different from the food Elena was used to eating daily. When lunch was over it was getting late and Elena said goodbye to all the guests. She thanked the housewife for the invitation and went home. Arriving at her house she felt sick in the stomatch followed by strong nausea. Elena ran towards the bathroom to puke. She lifted the toilet seat and kneeled in front of it. Seconds later the feeling passed and Elena started to feel better. She washed her face on the bathroom’s sink and went to the kitchen, where she prepared a lemongrass tea to drink.

  During the night it was nearly impossible for Elena to get some sleep. After the nausea went away she now felt discomforting abdominal cramps. She started to get worried, for she had never gotten sick and suddenly all those symptons left her scared. Once again she made some tea to aliviate the tension and tried to sleep right
after.

  Elena was alone at home and had to wait until dawn to go to a doctor.

  When the dawn came Elena changed her clothes and went to the nearest hospital. Arriving there, the lobby was empty. There was only a man and a woman waiting to be called. Elena filled the file at the reception counter.

  _ Very well now you may wait at the waiting room and you’ll be called by name. Said the receptionist while filling the file.

  _ Thank you. Said Elena with a half-bad smile. It didn’t take long as she was soon called by the nurse who took her to a small office and asked her to put on a robe, then she had her pressure and heart beats taken.

  _ Your pressure and heart beat are fine.

  _ Now you wait a few minutes and the doctor will come to see you. After having been examined thoroughly by the doctor, he concluded that there was nothing wrong with Elena. And all those symptons could only indicate that she was pregnant, however she still had to make a more detailed exam, preferably a blood one, to prove the pregnancy. Elena was about to jump and hug the doctor out of happiness.

  Arriving home, everything was quite as usual, a few hours later John arrives from work. Elena surprises him again with the news of pregnancy, but John as always treated her with ignorance. Elena pretends to not understand, for nothing mattered more than that for her at that moment. On the other day John arrives home telling Elena that they’re gonna have to move from there, for the priest was going to start to reform the house and the church, but she didn’t need to worry, for he had already managed to rent another house in a small district of Ann Arbor, Michigan. As the city was a little distant, they’d have to hit the road soon. Elena always asked about what would it be like for his job, John said he had already arranged everything with his boss and was going to work in a privatized federal bank near the city that belonged to his company. Elena had to be fast in packing her things so they could leave the house right away before the bricklayers arrived. As Elena didn’t have many things to pack, that was quite fast.