Anger boils in my chest. “That absolute scumbag.”
“If Mom left him when I found out, she wouldn’t have been so broken. She struggles with fertility. That’s why she only had me. I was her rainbow baby, she calls me.” He smiles lovingly and I want to reach out and hug him. My eyes are burning. This mushy shit is killing me. “So finding out her husband was leaving her for a woman who could do the thing she couldn’t do absolutely destroyed her.”
I place my hand on his shoulder, the soft cotton of his shirt feels warm beneath my fingers. “She’s not destroyed, look how happy she is now. That scumbag did her a favor.” Another thought occurs and of course I voice it. “So you have a baby sibling?”
He nods. “I go to see him sometimes, but it’s strained. Cassidy, the mistress, is jealous of my dad’s past so she doesn’t like having me around and my dad is too besotted with her to care.”
“What a cunt.”
“It’s funny though because he’s got a massive problem with Mom remarrying.”
I laugh sharply. “For real? Should we go pour bleach on his car or something?”
“Paint stripper would be more effective.”
I laugh loudly this time, a little on the evil side but it suits the moment. “Could we do it?”
“He’s not worth it, and you’re right. Look how happy Mom is. He did her a favor.”
“Amen to that.” We high-five.
“We should really start this,” he mutters. “Or you should.”
“I’ll get to it,” I mouth around a yawn and then flip the subject again by asking, “Are you going to take her on a date?”
I don’t know why I’m so interested in their relationship, if there is one.
“Sierra?”
I nod twice.
His tanned forearm flexes as he reaches up to push his glasses back up his nose. It’s a nervous habit of his. “I don’t know, we’re just texting right now.”
“Dude, she gave you her number, that means she’s open to dating.”
He levels me with a look. “Maybe I’m not into dating?”
“Dude, my bullshit gauge just exploded.”
Hazel eyes glower at me. “What’s the point in dating now? I’m leaving in a few months.”
“You need to practice before you hit it up with all of those college babes! By that point they’re looking for guys who can give them orgasms. Not guys they have to chaperone around their vagina.”
He looks incredulously at me, as though he can’t believe what I’m saying. “So you want me to use her to make me better for other women one day?”
I fall back on a laugh. “Well, when you put it like that…”
“Shouldn’t kissing mean something?”
“I guess, but don’t you want it to be good when you get to that person that you really want it to mean something with?”
His shoulders lift and drop. “I’ll figure it out.”
“You can practice on me if you like?” I suggest before I can stop myself. What am I doing?
“What?” He looks even more startled than I feel. I can’t blame him for that.
I also can’t stop myself. “I’ve been told I am an excellent kisser. Maybe I can teach you a few things?”
“That’s not… I mean… it’s you. We’re family.”
“We’re not blood related, Trav. Besides, it’s just like me and Cella at that party. Cella was the first person I kissed you know?”
He shifts on the spot. “I’m trying not to think about that night.”
Laughing again, gently this time, I flash my eyes at him and move some of my books out of the way so I can shuffle closer on my knees.
“It’s not a big deal. I’m cool with being your one-time-only kissing puppet tutor person.”
Have his eyes always sparkled this way? The hazel in them with little shards of green and gold is glowing in the sunset that’s pouring through my open drapes. He has really nice eyes. I want to get a closer look.
Reaching up, I grip the edges of the left lens frame and slowly pull them from his face. His breath seems to stop as he watches me and waits.
When I place them beside us he blinks twice, slowly, his eyes seeming larger now but no less amazing to look at. My hand ascends again with a methodical grace, as though calmly trying to pet an animal before it has the sense to flee.
I push his hair back, first with my forefinger and then with my whole hand. His hair is so soft, like threads of satin. I didn’t think I’d get the chance to touch it again.
He doesn’t speak, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t move. He wets his lips and his eyes flicker to mine as he starts to move closer, or maybe I’m pulling him closer. Who knows?
“I don’t think we should do this,” he says on a breath.
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I reply, my face now mere inches from his.
He looks nervous. His hands are shaking.
“But it’s just a kiss, Trav. Don’t overthink it.”
“I don’t know what to do with my head.”
“You’re overthinking it.” I release his hair and tap his bottom lip with my tongue, startling him, which of course amuses me greatly. “Ready?”
He doesn’t reply with words, he replies by gulping and then I close the final distance. My lips touch his. So soft, smooth, and sweet.
He’s stiff at first, nervous and unsure, so I give him time to adjust before sucking his lower lip into my mouth. He startles again, jumping slightly and his eyes, which closed, ping open.
I see something change in them when I pull his lip further between my own. The hazel in them darkens as his pupil expands and conquers the small space.
“Kiss me, Trav,” I murmur only loud enough for him to hear.
His trembling hand glides up my arm as his eyes slowly shut.
Lips part as we mold together. Mine to his, his to mine. We move slowly at first, figuring each other out, learning the pace, the pressure of the tongues which finally touch, and he tastes as sweet as I knew he would, with a hint of OJ.
I feel as though a part of me that’s been yearning for this is finally fulfilled, but in a way that won’t last.
He groans, it’s pained and desperate.
His hand that was trembling is now stronger and gripping my neck. The tongue that was gently tasting me is now thrusting into my mouth like a man who has been kissing for years.
We’re on our knees, and he pulls me closer so my chest meets his. Just our chests. Below the waist still have an inch or so between. That’s a line we can’t cross.
He groans again and I whimper. His teeth bite my lip, just the right amount of pressure and my eyes fly open to find the animalistic eyes of my stepbrother’s staring right back.
Something clicks. Something that changes everything.
What was a learning experience no longer is.
Suddenly it’s about how hard we can kiss, how easily we can stay in sync. He holds my neck with a hand shaking for an entirely different reason now. His free hand slides around to the small of my back as mine lay on his chest, gripping his top, terrified he’ll pull away before I’m ready.
I want to claw at his skin and pull his body onto mine.
I feel on fire. My groin is burning, my need is unparalleled. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I know I can’t stop, and I know he can’t either.
His kisses are kryptonite all the while making me feel like Super Woman. Fuck.
If I didn’t know him, I’d call him a liar because of how good he is at this. I wouldn’t believe he’s never kissed before as he continues to push against my tongue at a tempo that suits me perfectly.
It’s when the thought of dragging him onto my body and letting him grind against my sensitive parts comes that I finally rip myself away.
He’s bewitching me with his animal-like kisses.
My lips feel cold and swollen. They’re throbbing desperately. Wanting more, wanting less, I don’t know at this point. My mind and body are at war.
We stare at each other, our chests heaving, our lungs fighting for the air we just stole from each other.
“Congratulations, Stepdork,” I pant, “You’re a natural.”
His swollen lips part and he lets out one last long breath before inhaling and saying, “I want to do that again.”
He leans forward but I place my palm over his lips and nose and push him back, much like he did to me on the couch. Except he doesn’t fall, he just grunts.
“I need more practice,” he lies and I raise a brow in challenge.
“You’re reeling from the high, it was a great makeout session, but we’ve got homework to do and that was a onetime thing.”
He doesn’t hide his disappointment. “Will it feel like that with everyone?”
“Like what?”
“Like…” He stops himself and downs half of my OJ. “Never mind. Let’s get this done.”
His demeanor reverts to Mr. Frosty and for once I’m relieved. If he’d asked me again, I might’ve said yes.
I’ve never felt so aroused in my entire life and it’s all because of the stepdork and his feral kiss. I’m losing my mind.
Shonda cried when she waved us off this morning. Me in Cella’s car, Stepdork in his with his friends. Our trunks full of camping equipment. The top of Travis’ car full of the bits that wouldn’t fit in the trunks.
It’s been a long week of waiting for this moment.
Travis has helped me tear through half of my homework. So have Preston and Duncan who are growing on me, I can’t lie. They’re such good people. Very awkward but in a funny way.
I don’t feel as stressed as I did about everything now. My future is looking a bit smoother. My only issue is figuring out what I want to do with my life. I don’t have a clue.
“This is going to be fucking AMAZING!” Cella yells and Bris, Molly, and I all cheer and holler loudly.
This weekend is going to change my life, I just know it.
“I’m totally getting laid,” Bris says wistfully. “It has been so fucking long.”
Molly, our designated virgin, rolls her eyes. “Your obsession with sex is terrifying.”
Bris feigns offence. “Raven is ten times worse than me.”
“That’s not true, she’s boned two guys, you’re on like, six at least.” Cella laughs, having my back like always.
“You’re my favorite bae,” I tell her, and we all scream when she nearly rear-ends Travis’ car as we smile at each other.
“Keep your fucking eyes on the road, you dumb whore bag!” Molly cries, and glares at me. “Stop distracting her.”
We cackle animatedly as Cella turns the radio up.
Yep. This weekend is going to be fucking intense.
* * *
Destination reached.
Tent pitched.
Bags unloaded.
Campfire ready for later.
Food safely stored and airtight so as not to attract any nasties.
Phones charging.
“And done,” I say, looking around the wooded area.
We have three tents between us, surrounding a perfectly shaped campfire that has yet to be lit.
“That was a nightmare,” Molly grumbles, dipping her hand into a bag of chips.
“You hardly did anything,” Duncan points out but when Molly hits him with a death glare he finishes, “And I was so happy to help you. Sit down. Take a load off. I’ll heat up some water.”
“Fuck water,” I say around a giggle. I think Duncan is crushing on Molly. He chose the worst one. She’s so hard to get through to. “Let’s start on the vodka.”
Travis exits his dark blue tent and he nods for me to join him as the girls show the guys what booze they smuggled in.
I follow him around the back of his tent, trying not to notice his powerful-looking shins at the bottom of his camo shorts. He looks good. Ready for a warm weekend of fun.
We haven’t spoken about that kiss at all but whenever we’re alone like this, I always secretly want him to ask me to kiss him again. Just so I can feel what I felt in that moment.
“Can I ask you a favor?” He chews on his lip as his brows pull in to display his signature frown.
“What is it?” I wet my lips, just in case and I notice him look right at them.
“Can you not get stupidly drunk like at that party?”
My breath hitches. I was not expecting him to say that. “I hadn’t planned on it, Trav. I’m not planning on doing much drinking.”
“I just worry, that’s all. I don’t want to control you or whatever but…”
“You’re being brotherly, I get it, you care,” I jest and stuff my hands into my pockets while ignoring how his frown deepened at my use of the term brotherly.
I was likely imagining it because his face has relaxed tremendously now. “It’s going to be an amazing night.”
“It really is, Trav.”
He glances at my lips again but turns away as suddenly as he does it. Is he battling with himself too?
Hours later, when we’ve been at the festival on the beach, making new friends and dancing to incredible music, I discover that no, he hasn’t been battling with himself over me, not at all.
I discover this as we catch him lit and making out with three different girls at three different times of the night.
That boy has some game when he wants to.
And I’m not jealous in the slightest. I’m rather happy for him. He’s living a little and coming out of his shell. It never would have worked between us anyway.
Besides, I met a guy who I’ve been getting closer to all night now and he is so fucking fit.
So why does watching him tangle tongues with a girl even more beautiful than me, make me feel nauseous?
I rationalize that it’s because he’s family, but I know that’s a lie. I’m nothing but a liar.
As promised, I don’t touch any alcohol, I don’t want to be peeing all night. Instead I sit in a group around a little beach fire and we share a bong and have a smoke-ring battle.
My friends are dancing and having the time of their lives, I’m snuggled into the side of a guy called Cam who is extremely attractive. The weed is his. We made friends and got cold, and here we are. Taking selfies and enjoying the night like everybody else.
Cella joins us after a little while as I’m sucking face with a weed-tasting Cam. He’s a good kisser. Experienced. His body is solid, his abs hard under my wandering fingers.
I hum against him, laughing when he pulls me onto his lap. I feel his hardness beneath my rear and would like to blame the marijuana for the lack of sparks flying but I don’t think it’s that.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispers against my mouth, teasing my lips with little nips of his teeth. “Wanna go somewhere a little more private?”
I wink at Cella and take Cam’s hand. I’m not going to sleep with him but I wouldn’t mind a bit more groping. It has been a while. It’d be nice to erase Lake’s hands from my memory.
We move toward the trees, through crowds of drunks who pay us no mind.
It’s not until the music is just a distant sound that we stop, and he pushes me up against a thick, smooth wooden signpost.
I groan when he lifts my leg up his hip and deepens our kiss as I grind against him.
I can feel him there and those familiar sparks of lust start popping in my veins. I’m getting worked up. I can feel myself getting wet.
Our kiss becomes more heated and I throw my head back with a moan when he cups my ass with both hands and pulls me tighter into him.
It’s not enough. It feels good but I’m done. I’m not going to climax this way and truth be told, I want to get back to the party.
He reaches for the button of my shorts but I stop him with a hand on his wrist.
“That’s as far as we’re getting,” I whisper, panting as his crystal eyes meet mine.
“You’re kidding?”
I try to look apologetic. “I’m not feeling it.�
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“You’re not feeling what?” He grinds his hardness into me. “This?”
“Stop,” I command but he doesn’t release me. His hands hold me tighter.
“No, I’m not wasting my entire night on you for you to just say fucking no at the end of it. I’m hard as a rock. Don’t be a bitch.”
My heart starts thundering with panic. I can feel it in my throat.
“Don’t ruin a good night,” I beg, trapped between his body and the sign pole. I look into his eyes, hoping I’ll see something human and decent looking back at me.
“I’m not ruining the night, babe.” His hand fumbles with the button of my shorts so I yank away and try to bring my knee up into his groin, but he traps it between his legs.
“Take your hands off me!” I yell, ready to press my thumbs into his eyes. I’ll fight dirty, I don’t care. There’s not a chance in hell I’m letting him hurt me.
He’s gone. In the blink of an eye he’s gone. Tackled to the ground by Travis who appeared out of nowhere.
They hit the hard earth with a thud and Travis straddles him, grabbing him by the collar and hitting him in the face. That wild look is back in his eyes, the one he got when we kissed. It’s as though he has unleashed a monster.
His elbow spikes high before his fist connects with Cam’s cheekbone.
I gasp, unable to move as I watch sweet, sensitive, quiet, Travis Stepdork become an enraged animal.
“That’s enough,” I say, grabbing Travis’ arm before he can hit a downed Cam again. “He’s had enough.”
Travis stays on him, his strong bicep still tight, his fist still clenched.
“You fucking scumbag,” Travis snarls at Cam who flinches when he raises his fist again. “I’ll kill you if I see you anywhere near her again and bury your fucking body in these woods. Do you understand?”
Whoa. Trav.
Cam nods, blood trickling from his mouth, the right side of his face swelling more and more by the second.
“Travis,” I plead, pulling on him again.
He stands, glaring down at Cam without his glasses. I scoop them up off the ground when I see them glinting in the moonlight and slip them into Travis’ back pocket.
“Come on,” I whisper. “Leave him. He’s not worth it.”
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