“He almost lost his leg…”
“And it hasn’t held him back.”
I scoff. “It hasn’t? You sure? Because last I checked he’s single, living an hour away, in a house way too big for one, joking that women don’t want to date cripples.”
“He just hasn’t met the right person yet.”
“Yeah, because he doesn’t put himself out there.”
Dad sighs again, his eyes sympathetic. “It’s not your fault. You were just a kid. It was a stupid prank gone wrong.”
“And how do you excuse the fact I didn’t contact any of you for ten years and let you believe I could be dead?”
“How do you excuse the fact I saw your email to Shonda and neither of us replied?”
We stare at each other, so much anger and despair between us, but neither one of us aiming it at each other. Mine is for me and his is for him.
“What a mess,” Shonda puts in kindly. “We have woven such a tragic tale. But look at us all reunited.” She moves to my dad and wraps her arm around his waist. “Don’t make this about the past anymore. Travis is good, you’re good, we’re good. Let’s stay good.”
“And find you a job nearby.”
I wipe my eyes and inhale a calming breath. “I’m not sure Travis wants me to move back.”
I think back to his eyes when he saw me, eyes that once devoured me and shined upon me so much love. We’ll never get back to how we were, and even though he offered me the chance to earn my forgiveness, I don’t think he meant it fully. I think he just hates it when I cry.
“I’ve got a few months to decide, so we shall see.”
Travis: I’m guessing these Dungeon Quest figures are from you?
Raven: They’re a selfish gift, because I noticed your arsenal of figures was lacking females.
Travis: How is that a selfish gift? They look awesome.
Raven: Selfish because I want to be the Hybrid Pixie Goddess of Sempria when I return for a game.
Travis: It’s Semphinia, not Sempria.
Raven: Stupid auto.
Travis: I doubt auto made that error seeing as Sempria doesn’t exist in the dictionary anymore than Semphinia does.
Raven: Stupid fat thumbs.
I imagine him smiling as he assesses his new characters that he gets to paint himself. I really hope he enjoys them.
Travis: I didn’t get you anything. Now I feel bad.
Raven: Paint her for me, so she’s gorgeous and sparkly for when we play.
Travis: On my honor, the Hybrid Pixie Goddess of Semphinia will be a sight to behold and the envy of all other women in my Dragon Quest battalion.
Raven: You’re still a massive dork.
Travis: I have my moments.
Raven: Merry Christmas, Travis.
Travis: Merry Christmas, Raven.
This is the first time he’s messaged me since I left the day after Thanksgiving. I have texted him once or twice asking how he is but he didn’t reply. I imagine it’s because he’s been busy with work and not because he has been actively avoiding me. At least, I’m hoping for the former because the latter stings a bit.
“Merry Christmas,” Seamus says in passing, winking at me the very wink that drives the other residents and nurses wild. He’s extremely handsome and of course I’m flattered by his attentions, but truthfully, I’ve only got one guy on my mind at the moment. There’s not much room for anyone else.
I need to focus on repairing my friendship with Travis before I consider starting a new one elsewhere. Besides, it’d be wrong of me to string Seamus along when I’m seriously considering leaving.
“Merry Christmas,” I reply, ducking my head so he doesn’t get the wrong idea. I feel his eyes on me for as long as he can gaze my way. Yep, he’s interested. If only he’d come a year sooner, maybe I would have been too.
* * *
Travis: What are your plans tonight? Or are you working?
Raven: I can’t remember the last NYE I wasn’t working. I don’t mind though, it’s busy with visitors so the night goes fairly quickly.
Travis: Shame.
Raven: What are your plans?
Travis: I’m having drinks at a friend’s party. It’s a costume party.
Raven: What are you wearing?
Travis: A constant scowl.
I throw my head back and laugh, startling my colleagues who are also looking at their phones. We’re on a brief break together, a rare occurrence but the cafeteria is serving a special New Year’s Eve dinner for us.
“Sorry,” I murmur, still beaming from ear to ear.
“Boyfriend?” Dolly asks, a nurse who works beside me a lot on the children’s ward.
I shake my head, noticing Seamus’ eyes on me who is sitting a few seats to the right, on the opposite side of the long rectangular table. “Just an old friend.”
Raven: I can believe that.
Travis: If you were here, what would you wear?
Raven: Maybe a pirate or something.
Travis: That doesn’t surprise me.
Raven: Why not?
Travis: You’re currently reading a pirate romance, where the woman is kidnapped and held hostage on a battleship in the middle of the ocean.
Raven: YOU HAVE MY KINDLE!
I thought I lost it during the flight but now I remember taking it out of my bag and putting it on the table outside Travis’ house. Ugh. This is mortifying.
Travis: I’ve been reading the wrong books my entire life. I didn’t realize novels could have this much filth.
Raven: So I like a bit of book porn. And? It’s not like you’ve never masturbated to porn before. Everybody does it.
Travis: You touch yourself to this?
Raven: Maybe, I don’t know, I haven’t gotten to the part where they have sex yet.
Travis: You’re close to it. I’ve already read ahead.
Raven: No spoilers! Please mail my Kindle to me.
Travis: Maybe. We’ll see. I want to roam through your collection first.
My cheeks heat as I think about all of the books I have on there, books about girls falling in love with their teacher, priest, father-in-law, and there are definitely a few stepbrother ones in there too.
Raven: So, other than the scowl, what are you wearing? Did you choose a costume?
Travis: Yep. I certainly did.
Raven: What did you pick? I want to see! Send me a picture.
When a picture comes through, I half expect it to be that horrific dick picture again that I circulated through school a decade ago. Instead I get a picture of his face, a scar drawn from the corner of his eye to his cheekbone, a neat beard around his lips, and a black bandana on his head. Did he choose that character for me? Or was it purely a coincidence? I like the thought that I might have been the inspiration behind his costume.
Raven: You look epic. Great choice, Captain.
Travis: What am I doing? Why am I tormenting myself? The reality of it hits me harder than the cold ocean. I wipe away tears and pray for strength to get me through this too.
“Captain?” I call when the door opens and closes.
“I’m not doing this,” Captain states, appearing in the doorway without a shirt.
I shuffle nervously. “Doing what?”
“Playing this game anymore.”
“Game?”
He crosses the distance and I don’t move an inch.
Raven: NO SPOILERS!!!
I imagine him chuckling to himself and wish I could be there to see it. He’s being playful with me, this is good, I think.
“You’ve definitely perked up a bit,” Dolly observes, stuffing her mouth with mashed potatoes.
“I was already perky,” I reply, tucking my phone away. “What’s everybody doing after work? Do you all finish at one?”
“Three,” Dolly replies, pouting.
“I finish at one,” Seamus puts in and the woman beside him looks so dejected I almost feel bad for her. “Fancy hitting up a bar on the way home?”
I can’t exactly say no now that he’s offered, it’d make me look bitchy. Especially when everybody at the table knows I have nothing better to do.
“Sounds great,” I lie, smiling at him. “I’ll meet you in the lobby at one.”
Travis: Do you all stop to do the countdown?
Raven: We try to but it depends on what we’re doing. My countdown is ahead of yours. I’ll reach the new year before you do.
Travis: Will you be kissing a handsome doctor on the 0?
Raven: Not unless I want to battle a sexual harassment lawsuit, will you be kissing a fairy?
Travis: I’ll be home before the countdown, I’m bored out of my mind.
Raven: Call me during mine?
Travis: Maybe. Have a good night, Doctor Riddle.
Raven: Speak to you soon, Trav.
He doesn’t call, but the fact he texted again at all is such a huge thing for me. I smile constantly, I can’t help myself.
When one comes and I say goodbye after changing and freshening up, I meet Seamus in the lobby as planned, surprised at his attire. He looks so handsome in a black turtleneck, leather jacket, and light blue denim jeans.
He scans me with approval too and even I’m not resistant to that particular charm of his. He has this ability to look at you and make you feel like the only woman in the room. Though Travis had this ability to look at me and make me feel like the only woman in the universe.
“Milady.” He holds out his arm, his accent subtle, his aftershave strong and tasty. “May I?”
I take his arm, drawing the eyes of those around and let him guide me from the building. “Where are we heading?”
“I know a place,” he replies. “It’s a short walk if ye would nae mind it?”
“Lead the way.”
We walk arm in arm to a noisy little bar about half a mile from the hospital. There’s a live band playing on the small stage and the tables are full. We move to the bar, me gripping his hand as he leads me through.
“What’re you drinkin’?” His accent is heavier when he raises his voice over the noise. Before I can reply he asks, “You like whiskey?”
“Umm, not usually.”
“You’ll love this whiskey,” he orders two of something and turns with our drinks not too long later. “It’s sweeter than most, a house whiskey mind, all the way from Scotland itself.”
I nod, impressed and sip the beverage. It warms my throat but not in the typical way that whiskey does. It certainly has a kick to it.
“It’s not bad,” I reply and his smile brightens.
“Come on, this way.” He leads me through the bar which is unlike any bar I’ve ever frequented, it looks more of a typical English pub with its wooden-paneled walls and sticky patterned rug. I watch TV enough to make the assumptions.
We exit a side door around the back of the bar and find ourselves outside again, in a small terrace with a multitude of heat lamps to keep us warm. It’s empty because of the cold weather so we take the table in the corner and he moves one of the solid overhead heat lamps closer.
“Do you want my jacket?”
“No, I’m okay.”
“You’re from California aren’t ya?” he questions as he removes his jacket anyway and drapes it over my lap. “Tis warm over there.”
I nod. “I’ve been in the city for ten years though, so I’m used to the cold.”
“She says with chattering teeth.” He laughs and pulls his chair closer. “I’m sorry we haven’t spoken much since I started. I’ve been trying to find the opportunity.”
“You have?” I hadn’t noticed.
“Aye.” He sips his drink and smiles at me. “Ye had to have noticed…”
“Noticed what?”
“Naww, I do nae want te make it weird,” he continues, shaking his head while still smiling.
I punch his arm playfully. “Tell me!”
“You’re the most beautiful woman in that hospital,” he blurts and his pale cheeks turn pink. “In the entire city.”
He thinks that about me? I almost choke. No way. That can’t be right.
“I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“Nah, there’s just somethin’ about ye. Maybe your work ethic, you’re so driven and focused.”
“So are you.”
“So ye have noticed me then?”
I let out a laugh and sip more of my drink, letting it relax me as the music from inside filters outside. “Everyone has noticed you.”
“Aye, everyone but you.” He looks up at the sky and then back down at me. “I’m gonna be bold, and tell ye that I want to get to know you better. If you’ll let me.”
My heart gets excited as my head feels heavy with disappointment. “Oh man.”
His eyes sparkle with amusement. “What? You’re not interested? It’s fine if not. No awkwardness…”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just, I might be leaving for California when my residency ends.”
His face falls as fast as mine did. “Well, damn. And there’s no convincing you to stay?”
“I don’t know. I’ve reconnected with my family and they all want me home. It just makes sense, you know?”
He shrugs but he still looks sad. “I get it, I don’t have much of a family back in Scotland, if I did, I guess I might never have left. I’m glad you’re working things out with yours.”
“Me too.”
His hand covers mine on my lap and squeezes comfortingly. “When does your residency end?”
“May,” I reply and he nods. “Maybe we can be friends though?”
“Sounds like you’re definitely leaving, not just thinking about it?”
“I’ve mostly made up my mind, it all depends on one person.”
“Who?”
“My…” I hesitate, trying to think how best to describe Travis. “Just someone who was special to me once. I don’t want to mess up his life by returning.”
“Ah, your heart’s on hold for another guy?”
I shrug this time and I know I must look sad. “I guess you could say that.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you.”
“We were young, it rarely does.”
He raises a brow. “You’re older now, maybe it will this time?”
I sigh and shake my head. “No, that ship sailed long ago.” I finish my drink and smile at my new friend. “I’m sorry I’m not what you’re looking for.”
“Oh, ye are everything I’m looking for,” he replies, smiling again. “You just canny see it yet.”
I laugh and punch him again, he feigns injury and then clinks his glass against mine. “Another round?”
“Hell yeah.”
After another drink he walks me home, dropping me off at the entrance to my apartment building, thanking me for my honesty earlier tonight and then he kisses me on the cheek. A true gentleman, a rare find and I’m tossing him away and for what?
I don’t have to go back to Cali, I can visit, they can visit me…
Now I’m conflicted.
I head to the elevator and check my phone but nothing comes through.
It’s almost midnight in Cali, they’re nearly ready to bring in the new year.
I smile and type out a text.
Raven: Happy New Year, Trav.
My phone lights up with his call as I’m closing my apartment door behind me.
I toss my bag onto the couch as my thumb swipes over the green icon. “Y’ello?”
“Purple,” he replies in jest.
I snort. “That was so unfunny it was funny.”
“What are you doing?”
“I just got in. What are you doing?”
“Just got in? From work?”
I don’t know why I feel like I don’t want to tell him, but I really don’t. Even though the outing was completely innocent. “I went for a couple of drinks.”
“Oh yeah?” I notice there’s a lack of music in the background and wonder if he went home already. “W
ith who?”
“With a fellow surgeon.”
“Called…”
“Seamus.”
He pauses. “Was he hot?”
“No, the weather is quite cold actually,” I joke and he chuckles, though only slightly. “Seamus isn’t bad, but we’re not romantically involved if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I wasn’t.” He’s so lying, that’s exactly what he was asking, and it gives me a little thrill to know that. “It’s almost the countdown.”
“Hello, my past,” I mutter and he laughs again.
“You’re still really funny.”
My body tenses with glee at that compliment. “Good. So… you’re home?”
“I’m reading your porn stories.”
“I swear if you tell me the ending of that book I will come back to Sacramento just to kick your ass.”
There’s a smile in his voice when he retorts, “You couldn’t kick a ball across my porch, let alone kick my ass.”
“You wanna bet?”
“I do.”
“Twenty bucks says I can kick your ass all the way down your street and back.”
He chuckles. “You’d really beat up a cripple?”
“Oh you bet I would. They don’t call me Raging Riddle for nothing in these here parts.”
“You are such a dweeb.”
I bite my lip and smile at the floor. “Yeah, probably.”
“It’s the countdown,” he whispers and I hear him turn up the TV. “Do you want to bring home the New Year with me?”
Stepdork Page 25