Loving Lies

by Linda Kage

  Tess took his cup back as soon as he finished drinking. “Thanks.” He watched her set it carefully on the tray, and questions once again flooded his brain. “There’s so much I want to ask, but I don’t even know where to start.”

  She gave him a tremulous smile as she folded her hands in her lap and began to wring them as if nervous. “Look, I swear to you, I’ll find your family. You won’t be here alone for long. Okay?”

  He blinked at her, wondering why she didn’t know where his family was already, when another idea struck. Shit! She’d definitely worded that as if she didn’t consider them a couple.

  “So we’re not together anymore,” he murmured with a wince. He might not remember her, but he already knew he didn’t want to lose her. God, what asinine thing had he done to push her away and make her break up with him?

  She didn’t answer, which pretty much confirmed his suspicions. Just what kind of guy was he if the only person who bothered to visit him in the hospital after he’d nearly died was his ex-girlfriend?

  “Um…I’m going to go ahead and take off,” she said, glancing longingly toward the exit.

  She made it sound so final, as if this was goodbye forever. Jonah’s stomach clenched, threatening to upset all the food he’d just eaten.

  “Will—” When his esophagus closed and his voice went hoarse, he cleared his throat. “Will I ever see you again?” He wanted to beg her to come back. Hell, he wanted to beg her not to leave in the first place.

  She looked away for a moment, and he almost lost it. She was going to tell him no, and he was going to return to being all alone again.

  Forsaken.

  But obviously, her too-kind heart had her rasping out, “Of course. I’ll be back tomorrow as soon as…after all my classes let out. So just…” She finally turned back to him, showing him a wealth of pain in her beautiful eyes. Damn, he must’ve hurt her bad. “Just take care of yourself and eat everything the nurses bring you, okay?”

  With a slight nod, he whispered, “Okay.”

  She forced a smile, but with the tears clinging to her lashes, it only made him ache with regret and the need to apologize for whatever he’d done to hurt her.

  “Okay,” she repeated as if bolstering herself.

  This time, when she reached for his hair, he didn’t flinch away. He closed his eyes and breathed in a relieved breath as soft fingers brushed his bangs across his forehead. When he opened them, she leaned in with her lips pursed. He could tell her target was his forehead, but he needed more than that. He needed an intimacy he’d been craving since he’d opened his eyes days ago. He needed to know someone cared. So, he tilted his face back, readjusting just in time for her to catch his mouth against hers.

  Plus, he had to know what it felt like to kiss her.

  Realizing what he’d done, she pulled back, looking startled. “Oh! Uh…” Her gaze raced over his, and her fingers fluttered back to her throat. “I was actually aiming for your hair because I thought you’d be uncomfortable with…” With a noisy swallow, she zipped a quick glance at his lips. “Since you don’t remember me at all. But…um…okay.”

  She darted back in and stamped her mouth to his with a quick, impulsive peck. He barely had time to digest what had happened. But the scent of peaches remained as she pulled away.

  Lifting his face to stare at her, he watched the color rise to her cheeks. Strangely, it didn’t throw the redness of her hair off balance. In fact, her blush and those scarlet locks complemented each other, giving her a glowing kind of angelic effect.

  He wanted her to kiss him again, longer this time. And not because there was something comfortable and familiar about her. But because her lips had felt new and exciting.

  In fact, if she hadn’t claimed to be his girlfriend, he would’ve sworn that had just been their first kiss together, ever.

  Chapter Three

  TESS NEEDED TO ESCAPE this room before she had herself an honest-to-God heart attack. Her pulse raced a million miles per minute, and her cold skin was slick with nervous sweat.

  She hated lying, and every word that had spewed from her mouth since she’d stepped into this room had been coated, dunked, and outright punctured with lie after lie. But with each fib that fell from her tongue, she’d been forced to layer another on top of it.

  It was obvious Jonah Abbott needed someone in his life right now who “knew” him. He had to be experiencing every kind of pain there was to experience. Physical, emotional, mental. Hell, probably even metaphysical. And knowing he had no one could only hurt him more. So, she’d struggled to keep up the lying game for his own good.

  Trying desperately not to flush but feeling her face heat anyway, Tess glanced away after kissing him. “Well.” She blew out a breath and licked her lips. She could still feel the soft press of his mouth against hers and taste caramel apple from the empanada he’d eaten.

  Her cheeks burned hotter. “Okay, then. I guess…I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Forcing an overly bright smile, she risked a quick glance his way.

  He didn’t answer, simply watched her as if trying to figure her out. Darting her gaze away, she gave a jerky, embarrassed wave, grabbed her purse, and sprinted toward the door.

  “Tess,” he called, his voice edging toward panic. But she’d already hit the hallway, and no way could she go back, not without telling him the truth. Right now, she didn’t think the truth would help him.

  Covering her mouth, she hurried down the hall and veered blindly around the first turn she came to, only to get rammed in the gut by an empty cart.

  She didn’t even feel the pain in her abdomen. She closed her eyes and moaned. “I’m sorry.” Lifting her hand in apology to the cart pusher, she whirled away to run in the opposite direction.

  But Bailey’s voice had her screeching to a halt and spinning back. “Tess?” From the other side of the cart, her friend blinked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “What the hell? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”

  Like a balloon deflating of air, all the pent up misery and guilt rushed from her system. “No.” Tess charged toward Bailey and grabbed her arm. “We need to go. Right now.”

  “Wha—” Bailey stumbled along behind her. “What happened? Oh, shit. You didn’t kill the poor bastard in three-twelve, did you?”

  “No. But I’m going to have a panic attack if we don’t find an exit soon.” When she hurried them around another corner, she whimpered. “Where the hell are all the elevators in this freaking building?”

  “Good Lord.” Bailey let out a huff, grabbed Tess’s hand, and led her the other way until they exited the hall and those magical silver doors came into view.

  Beyond grateful, Tess rushed to them and started jabbing buttons. She didn’t speak until the doors opened and she and Bailey were safely sealed inside alone. When the floor began to drop, making everything in her stomach dip as well, she wrapped an arm around her waist and turned to her friend.

  “I think I just made the worst mistake of my life.”

  Bailey blinked. “Well? What happened?”

  Tess sucked in air, so much that she became lightheaded. “I—I—I felt so bad for him. No one had come to visit him, he’d been shot three times, and he’d just come out of a coma. A coma, Bailey, a freaking coma. And now he has amnesia. He was so alone and afraid and upset. And his eyes. Oh, my God. His eyes seemed to hold all the pain in the world. I just couldn’t…he needed to know someone cared, so I…so I told him…”

  “You told him what?”

  With a wince, Tess buried her face in her hands and peeked between the gap in her fingers. “I told him I was his girlfriend.”

  Bailey’s jaw dropped. “You did what? Holy shit, Tess! Why would you say that?”

  “I just told you why!”

  “But his girlfriend? Why would you go that route? Couldn’t you have just said you two shared a class together or something?”

  Tess began to wring her hands. “That was the original plan, but I…I froze. He was just
…he was so hot. Like…an eleven hot. Like mouth-wateringly gorgeously hot.”

  “Oh.” Bailey rolled her eyes. “Jesus, what is it about a guy with a pretty face that brings out your stupid gene?”

  “I don’t know,” Tess wailed, gripping her hair. “But I wish it’d just go away and quit afflicting me because it’s going to get me into deep trouble one of these days.”

  “You mean like it just did.”

  Tess dropped her hands to scowl. “You’re not helping.”

  “Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? You got yourself into this one, babe.”

  “You weren’t supposed to let me get into it in the first place, babe. I thought we were going to do all our assigned jobs together. But you just raced off, leaving me standing there by myself to deal with him alone.”

  Bailey shrugged. “Hey, you should’ve told me that. I didn’t know you wanted us to tag team our duties.”

  “I couldn’t tell you! You were halfway down the hall before I could even open my mouth.” She fisted her hand and punched her friend in the arm, right at the shoulder joint. “Thanks for deserting me, by the way.”

  When the elevator doors opened, she marched into the foyer, leaving Bailey behind. But Bailey caught up to her soon enough and quietly kept pace as Tess stormed outside and all the way to Bailey’s car. Her friend silently clicked the car unlocked on her key fob, and Tess yanked open the passenger side door.

  Neither of them spoke until Bailey started the engine. Putting the gear into reverse, she briefly glanced over and bit her lip, scowling at Tess.

  Bailey might be the braver of the two, but she was always the first to cave after an argument. Letting out a groan, she mumbled, “I’m sorry, okay?”

  And Tess was always the first to forgive. But this time she sniffed, folded her arms over her chest, and turned to stare out the passenger side window.

  Another mute minute passed.

  Finally, Bailey asked as she pulled out of the parking garage, “So, what are you going to do about this amnesiac guy who thinks you’re his girlfriend now?”

  Just thinking about Jonah’s situation made her want to bawl for him. “I have to go back tomorrow.”

  Bailey stomped on the break at a red light. “What? Are you crazy?”

  She sounded so incredulous, Tess turned to scowl at her. “I can’t not go. I told him I would.”

  “Oh, my God, Tess. You lied about everything else. Why start being honest now?”

  Stomach knotting with guilt, Tess bit her lip. “I have to go back. He needs me.”

  She said it so quietly, she kind of hoped Bailey hadn’t heard her because she knew her friend would jump all over that one. But apparently, Bailey had elephant ears.

  “He needs you?” This time she punched the gas as she zipped into traffic. “Oh, brother. You talked to him for, what, ten minutes? How could he possibly need you?”

  “He doesn’t have anyone else. You don’t understand. You didn’t see him.”

  “So, you’re just going to keep lying to him, telling him you’re his girlfriend, then?”

  “Yes. I think I have to. Until he gets his memory back, anyway. Then he’ll have his life returned to him, and he won’t need me anymore.”

  Bailey shook her head and muttered to herself, “There is so much wrong with everything she just said, I don’t even know where to start.” Then speaking directly to Tess, she lifted her voice. “And you don’t think he’ll be pissed about the fact that you’ve been lying to him once his memory returns?”

  Swallowing down her dread over that very possibility, Tess shrugged. “He might be. Or he might be grateful I was there to befriend him. That’s just a chance I’m willing to take.”

  “Oh, brother,” Bailey grumbled again. She paused at another stoplight and glanced across the car. “He’s going to ask questions, you know. Questions you can’t answer.”

  Tess groaned and sank lower in her seat. “He already has.”

  “And?” Bailey cocked an eyebrow.

  “And I only made him more frustrated by evading the answers. He ended up concocting some idea that we’d broken up before the shooting and he somehow did something really bad to upset me. That’s why he thinks I’m so…standoffish, or whatever, toward him.”

  “Well, actually that might work.” When the light turned green, Bailey tore through the intersection. “Wow, the amnesiac came up with a good backstory lie for you already. Right on.” She lifted her hand for a congratulatory fist bump, but Tess scowled at her.

  “This isn’t funny.”

  Bailey rolled her eyes and dropped her hand back to the steering wheel. “Then maybe you should tell him the truth.”

  “No.” Tess shook her head and turned away. “I have a better idea. I’m going to find his family and friends and, once they go to him, he’ll see someone he actually recognizes, get his memory back, and end up thanking me for helping him. Or at the very least, he’ll be so happy to be back in the arms of people who do care for him, he’ll forget all about me.”

  “Except you’re overlooking one detail.”

  Tess frowned and glanced over. “What’s that?”

  “There’s a very real possibility no one cares.” When Tess opened her mouth to argue, Bailey spoke over her. “No one’s come to see him yet.”

  “I’ll find someone,” Tess said, her jaw firm with more confidence than she felt. “Someone has to care about him. That’s all there is to it.”

  Determined to find someone who cared about Jonah Abbott, Tess Googled his name as soon as she and Bailey made it back to their dorm room. When over eighty-one thousand results popped up, she winced. Glancing briefly over the few pictures at the top of the search engine, her shoulders slumped when she didn’t immediately spot his face.

  Revising her search, she typed in his name along with Granton University and hit pay dirt.

  “He’s a football player,” she said aloud, clicking on the first link, only to lift her eyebrows. “A really good one. Wow, he’s already broken university and state records.”

  “Really?” Bailey plopped down beside her on the bed, gnawing on a Twizzler stick, to read the screen over Tess’s shoulder. “A football player, huh? Which position?”

  Tess arched a brow and glanced at her. “As if it matters. You don’t know the difference.”

  “What?” Bailey shrugged. “I was just being polite.”

  Snorting out a laugh, Tess shook her head. “You would be polite if you were asking him. But you’re asking me, who doesn’t know the difference either, so it’s a moot point.”

  “Ahh. A tight end,” Bailey said with a smug sniff as she motioned toward the words near the top of an article.

  Tess clinked on the link. It was a small-town newspaper piece from the city of Bristol and had been written three years before, talking about one of their seniors—Jonah—receiving a football scholarship to Granton.

  “He’s from Bristol,” she murmured, growing more excited by the second. In self-congratulations, she ripped the Twizzler out of Bailey’s hand, tore off of a piece with her teeth, and handed it back. “I honestly didn’t think it’d be so easy to find information about him. But Bristol. That’s, what, less than an hour from here, right?”

  “An hour and fifteen minutes,” Bailey, Miss Numbers herself, corrected, polishing off the rope of candy.

  “Whatever.” Tess rolled her eyes and typed in a search for his name, adding the word Bristol. When she came across a five-year-old obituary for a Paul Marsch, she discovered Jonah had been one of Marsch’s surviving grandsons. “The only other survivors for this guy who lived in Bristol were his daughter and son-in-law, Ted and Phyllis Abbott. That must be Jonah’s parents. Don’t you think?”

  Letting out a squeal of excitement, Tess almost expected to be led to a link with their address, phone number, and map of how to get to their house when she searched for Ted and Phyllis Abbott of Bristol. But she encountered a snag when Paul Marsch’s obit ended up being the only t
hing tied to them online.

  “Have you tried the school directory yet?” Bailey asked, pushing from Tess’s bed to wander across the room and flop down on her own mattress so she could hunt up another Twizzler stick. Her voice was bored as she took a bite, picked up a fashion magazine, and flipped through the pages.

  “That’s a good idea.” Leaving her search engine, Tess logged onto the university’s Web site. When she saw a link for the Granton massacre’s memorial page, she paused. She’d visited this page before, but now it felt different. Each deceased victim of the shooting had been named with their picture and a small eulogy of their accomplishments attached to it.

  Of the eleven who’d been killed—twelve counting the shooter who’d committed suicide at the end of his rampage—more than one had been a football player for the university. Tess shuddered and clicked onto the page before she could stop herself.

  Dorian Wade, the star quarterback had actually been murdered in his dorm room two nights before the shooting. But since he’d been killed by the same person, he was added among the list of victims. Being a football player himself, Jonah would know Dorian. She gulped and hit print, listing out everyone who’d died. Amnesia or not, he had a right to know who was gone. Didn’t he? Or would it only frustrate him more to see a list of people he couldn’t remember?

  After her small desk printer kicked into gear and started spitting out pages, Tess finally typed Jonah’s name into the Find People section of the university’s search engine. When her query immediately brought up results, she fisted her hands into the air. “Jackpot! We have a permanent and local address. And…oh, my God.”

  Bailey paused her reading to lift her face. “What?”

  “His dorm room’s in Grammar Hall.” Tess glanced over at her roommate. “How could he live in the same building as us for a full semester and we’ve never seen him before?”

  Her friend shrugged. “Well, being that I didn’t see him tonight, maybe I have seen him before.”

  Tess scowled. “Don’t be silly. I know everyone you do. And we have definitely never seen this guy before.”