Angel Fire

by L. A. Weatherly

Page 57

 

  I tried to think. “I don’t know. This started a few weeks ago, when I felt this sort of. . . rush of energy. ” I told Seb what had happened – about the river inside me that had trickled to nothing; how I hadn’t found anything when I’d gone searching. It was such a relief to finally be talking to someone about all of this that the words tripped over themselves.

  Seb listened carefully, his eyebrows drawing together. “I don’t know what that was,” he said once I’d finished. “I’ve never felt anything like that before. ”

  “Oh. ” I looked down at the yellow sofa cushion. The disappointment wasn’t easy to bear. I’d been hoping he’d say, Oh, that. Yes, that happens all the time.

  “But querida” – he caught himself with a grin – “Willow, whatever it was, your angel feels different about it than you. You need to listen to her, that’s all. ”

  I let out a breath. “She’s felt so separate from me lately,” I admitted. “Scary. I’ve thought. . . I don’t know what I thought. I guess that whatever it was had. . . set her off, somehow, so that she can’t be trusted now. ”

  I could see that not trusting his angel had never even occurred to Seb. “She’s part of you,” he said simply. “She’d never do anything to hurt you. She might feel separate and nudge at you sometimes when you don’t listen to her – but hurt you? No. Never. ”

  He made it sound like my angel was pure intuition, or a conscience or something – which actually made a lot more sense than whatever ominous ideas I’d been freaking myself out over. The relief was so overwhelming I almost went limp – but I still had no idea what my angel wanted me to listen to her about. With a flash of guilt, I knew that I hadn’t given her much of a chance to explain. The second she’d seemed separate from me, I’d just shoved her away and built a wall around her. No wonder she’d felt restless.

  “Give me a minute,” I said to Seb.

  I closed my eyes and went deep within myself, reaching tentatively for my angel. She was there in a burst of light, like sunshine on crystal – my own face gazing back at me, wings glimmering. We gazed at each other. The only movement was the soft shifting of her hair, as if a slight breeze was blowing.

  I’m sorry, I thought, mentally stretching my hand out to her. Can you tell me what’s wrong?

  We touched, and my muscles relaxed as the oneness between us rushed back – our thoughts swirling together, merging again. Forgiveness, understanding. But she’d been so, so frustrated; so desperate to get me to listen to her. The dark power of the energy stream I’d felt had alarmed her greatly. And now she had a feeling something was wrong. She didn’t know what; she’d looked, found nothing – but it was a constant worry she couldn’t get rid of.

  Frowning, I carefully searched my mind again, exploring every corner. There was nothing there that shouldn’t be – genuinely, truly, nothing. I really think it’s okay, I said to her.

  She didn’t respond; I could feel she wasn’t convinced.

  Leaving her for the moment, I explained to Seb what had happened. “I don’t know what to think,” I finished. “She seems really positive, but I just can’t feel it. ”

  Seb’s expression turned thoughtful. “No, I don’t know either. ” Sitting up cross-legged, he held his hands out to me. “Yes? Maybe I can sense something. ”

  I hesitated, looking at his hands.

  “I’ll be very brotherly,” he assured me. His eyes were teasing, but they were also concerned – I knew how much he wanted to help.

  “All right,” I said finally.

  Moving my cushion closer to him, I put my hands in his. Again there was that jolt of energy, of like touching like. His hands were warm and firm, and so reassuring as they held mine, as if just his touch could make things better. I closed my eyes, keenly aware of our two auras mingling again too, and wishing I could shut all this out. Especially the part about how good it felt – how right. I shoved the thought away almost before it formed, hating myself for even having it.

  Seb’s hands tightened in mine; I could sense his concentration. I tried to just drift, and not think about much at all. I kept getting snippets from him anyway, such as the fact that he’d given up smoking recently – his unconscious desire for a cigarette was coming through loud and clear. Some of what I picked up made me smile, like the stories he made up when anyone asked about his past. I didn’t think he’d ever given a straight answer in his life. An opera-singing mother who took her piano with her everywhere?

  And yet with me, he’d been so unhesitatingly honest.

  Finally Seb let go of me, and I opened my eyes again. We were still sitting close together, our faces only a foot or so apart, and I saw that his eyes had flecks of pure gold in the green. I moved hastily back, scooting my cushion several inches away.

  Seb pretended not to have noticed. “I can tell how worried your angel has been,” he said, leaning back on one hand. “I didn’t feel anything wrong though. Something’s been bothering her, yes, but I can’t see what. ”

  I could sense my angel’s puzzlement as she checked again for herself and found that what Seb had said was true: she couldn’t feel what had been bothering her any more either – it was as if it had simply vanished. Or maybe it had never been there in the first place. She hesitated for a long moment within me, her wings gently stirring. I could still feel her confusion, though it was fading now to relief. Maybe she’d been mistaken, she thought at last. Because everything seemed all right now – really all right.

  She was nowhere near as relieved as I was. Oh, thank god, things might actually go back to normal for me now – or at least as “normal” as being a half-angel could ever be. “It’s okay,” I said to Seb. “She thinks maybe it’s all right now. Thank you – thank you so, so much. ”

  His eyes were warm. “I didn’t do anything. But that’s good. If she’s happy, there’s no problem. ”

  I crossed my legs, pulling them up to my chest. “So I wonder what the energy was that I felt? It was so strong – it just came out of nowhere. It’s not something that’s ever happened to you?”

  “No, never. Maybe it was just – ah, I can’t think of the word. ” Seb tapped his brow and said something in Spanish, looking frustrated.

  I smiled slightly, watching him. “Do you want me to go get Alex to translate?”

  At the suggestion of bringing my boyfriend down here, Seb gave me a comically incredulous look from under his hand – like, Are you kidding? “No, we can’t take Alex away when he’s teaching the others,” he said in a voice so serious that I almost believed him for a second. “It would be very selfish of us. I’d feel so guilty. ”

  “Oh. Well, we wouldn’t want that. ”

  “No. The guilt, it would keep me awake at night. ” Seb straightened up. “The word I’m trying to think of – it’s like when something happens only once, then never again. If it happens, you’re so surprised. You know? What’s the word?”

  “A fluke?”

  “Sí!” His smile was like sunshine bursting through the clouds. “Maybe it was just a fluke. Just a strange thing that happened. Or, I don’t know – maybe it was a girl half-angel thing. ”