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Seb hadn’t commented while Alex spoke; now he shook his head, his stubble glinting in the firelight. “Willow can’t read you because her feelings are too involved – but you don’t think mine are too?” he pointed out dryly.
“Not as much as mine, not when it comes to reading Alex,” said Willow. She touched his arm. “Please, Seb, just try. I’ve got to know the truth. ”
Seb glanced back at Alex. Finally he gave a shrug. “Yes, all right. I’ll try. ” He closed his eyes for a moment, seeming to centre himself with a few slow breaths. Then he opened his eyes and held out his hand; his gaze met Alex’s impassively.
Alex put his hand in Seb’s. It felt warm and dry, slightly rough; fleetingly, he thought how weird it was to be sitting here holding another guy’s hand. No one spoke as Seb concentrated; the only sound was the low crackle of the fire, and Sam’s steady snores. Alex watched Seb’s face, hoping for some hint of what he was picking up – what he was going to say.
At last Seb let go of his hand. He gave Alex a considering look, as if he was thinking how to choose his words, and Alex felt his heart drop. “So. . . what did you get?”
Seb rested his forearm over his knee. “Your father had migraines too,” he said. “So did his father. The men in your family, they’ve all been leaders and they all care very much – it makes them too tense. ”
Alex remembered now his father telling him that his grandfather had had migraines, though he’d forgotten this. “Yeah, okay, but—”
“I tried to look at your future, and see what might happen to you,” went on Seb. “I didn’t get very much, because I think I’m there too. ” Alex’s pulse beat faster: surely Seb wouldn’t be there if Willow wasn’t? He glanced at Willow; she sat watching Seb, her expression taut. Seb went on, “But I saw your aura looking healthy again, then looking sick after a hunt. And you keep getting migraines. You should take better care of yourself,” he added mildly. “Look for ways to not be so tense – long walks, meditation, these things would help. ”
Alex suddenly felt like Seb was his therapist; he had to resist the urge to shake him. Before he could say anything, Willow cleared her throat. “What does all that mean, exactly?”
Seb’s expression was gentle. “I don’t think his migraines are anything to do with you, querida. And his aura looks bad, but his father’s often looked worse. It got better – his will too. I don’t think you’re causing him angel burn. ”
I don’t think. Alex winced; he knew Willow wouldn’t be convinced by this. Sure enough, she bit her lip as she stared at Seb. “You don’t know for sure though?”
Seb reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I am maybe ninety-nine per cent certain,” he said. “If I could have gotten more, then I think I’d be a hundred per cent certain. For only one per cent, you should take the chance and be happy with him. ” He lifted a shoulder with a small smile. “If you were one of my customers, this is what I’d say to you. ”
As the fire crackled gently, Willow sat staring at Seb as if she hadn’t understood the words – then all at once she lunged forward, throwing her arms around his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Oh, thank you. ”
“I’m glad I was wrong,” Seb murmured back.
The relief was indescribable. Alex let out a breath, his shoulders sagging.
Willow detached herself from Seb and looked at Alex. Her expression was wondering, almost shy. In slow motion, she reached out and stroked back a strand of his hair; the feel of her touch shivered through him. “So, um. . . I guess—”
Alex stopped her with his mouth, cradling her head in his hands and kissing her almost fiercely, and then they were in each other’s arms, holding on as hard as they could. Willow. Willow. He felt her shaking and realized she was crying; he kissed her hair as he clutched her to him, then buried his head against her neck and savoured just having her in his arms again. Dimly, he was aware that Seb had slipped away.
“Come be with me in the tent,” he whispered against her smooth skin. “I want to hold you all night – I want to feel you next to me. ”
Willow nodded vehemently; she pulled away to wipe her face and then simply gazed at him for a moment. She swallowed. “You really, really can’t imagine how good that sounds. ”
She went to the truck to get her things. Alex’s own bag was on the ground nearby, where he’d left it after rummaging for the energy bars. As he started towards it, he caught sight of Seb – he was standing in the clearing with his hands in his jeans pockets, looking upwards.
Alex hesitated, and then went over to him. For a few seconds neither of them spoke as they studied the night sky with its piercing stars.
“So why did you do it?” asked Alex in Spanish. He glanced over at Seb, studying his profile. “You didn’t have to tell her the truth. Maybe she thinks she only loves you as a brother now, but that could change, if you’d told her something different. ”
Seb gave him a dry look. “We’re both psychic, amigo. I can’t lie to her. ”
“When she was already so worried about it anyway?” Alex shook his head. “No, I bet you could have managed to lie, if you’d wanted. ”
Seb didn’t respond at first, and then he shrugged. “I want her to be happy,” he said. The moonlight played on his high cheekbones as he looked up at the stars again. “You make her happy. It wasn’t exactly a complicated decision. ”
Alex’s throat tightened, and he thought how ridiculous it was that after everything that had happened today – the mental ruin of friends and teammates; the sight of the destroyed city – it was this unexpected decency from Seb that was making him choke up.
“Thank you,” he said finally.
“You’re welcome. ” Seb’s mouth lifted slightly. “I didn’t do it for you, though. ”
“Yeah, I know you didn’t. ” They regarded each other; Alex was almost painfully aware of how much he’d misjudged the guy. “So, you’re coming to Nevada, right?” he said.
Seb went quiet, rubbing his jaw with the back of a finger. “I’d like to,” he said finally. “I never had a way before to fight what the angels are doing here – I guess I never even really knew I wanted to. But now, after what’s happened to my city. . . ” His face tightened. “Yeah, I’d like to come. Even if it wasn’t for Willow, I’d like to come. ”
“Good,” said Alex.
Then Seb raised an eyebrow. “But are you sure you really want me to? I’m still in love with her, hombre. If I can take her away from you, I will. ”
Alex tilted his head up. The stars were so incredibly clear up here; even clearer than in New Mexico. “If I’m not keeping her happy enough to hold onto her, then I’ll deserve it,” he said. “Yeah, I want you to come. You’re part of my team. ”
The tent was lit with a soft glow from the campfire. For a long time, Alex and I just lay in the sleeping bags with our arms around each other, listening to the sound of our heartbeats; the crackle of the fire. I closed my eyes as I ran my hand over the familiar warmth of Alex’s chest; felt him stroke my bare back; gently kiss my neck. I knew the vision of the levelled city would never leave either of us – that it would visit us in nightmares for years to come – but for now, just having this together again felt like sanity. Blessed, healing sanity.
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