Tattooed Dots

by Knight, Kimberly

  “Anyway,” he continued, “I heard from Bethy that she knows a guy who met his wife on a singles cruise.”

  “A what?”

  “A cruise that’s only for single people.”

  “I know what a singles cruise is, dipshit. It just sounds like a Friday or Saturday at Halo.” I laughed. “A lot cheaper than going on a cruise, too.”

  “I know, but this way I don’t have to buy them dinner, and there will be hundreds to choose from. And, dude, this is a cruise. We have money. Won’t that be fun?”

  “I guess, but how are we both going to go? Who’s going to manage the bar?”

  “I think Bethy would be good, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, I guess she would be. How long is the cruise and where are we going?” I yawned.

  “Eight days and Mexico.”

  “Eight days? You think Bethy can manage the bar without us for eight days?”

  “We can have more than one manager or something. Look, you’re my best friend and we’re both single, and I want to go.”

  “What about Cheyenne?”

  “That’s why I told her that she was going to California. She can stay with Bill and Trish.”

  I watched Avery drink the last of his orange juice while I thought about what he was proposing. The longest vacation that I’d had in the last ten years was when I would fly Cheyenne to California in the summer to see her grandparents. I didn’t stay with her. I flew with her to Long Beach on the weekend, flew home, worked and then two weeks later, flew back to Long Beach to pick her up.

  “And when is this cruise?” I asked.

  “Second week of April—for spring break. Fucking Mexico for Spring Break! Can’t you picture all the hot pieces of ass in their bikinis?”

  “You need to get laid.”

  “That’s the point.”

  “I thought the point was to meet the one?” I mocked him.

  “I’m going to try. If it doesn’t work, I’ll take your approach. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked.”

  It had been a long time since I’d fucked, too. Anessa and I stopped after she gave me head, and I returned to work while she went out and danced with her friends, finally letting loose and removing the stick from her ass. I didn’t see her the rest of the night. Maybe a ship full of chicks with nowhere to go and on the prowl was a good idea after all.

  “You know that it would just be cheaper to fuck a chick you met at the bar, right?”

  “Just let me try this,” he said, crossing his arms. “Also, asshole, one day some chick is going to knock you upside your head. I know you’re not looking for the one, but you can’t be single and unhappy forever.”

  “I’m not unhappy. I like my life, and I’m doing what’s best for Cheyenne.” I leaned back in my chair with my arms crossed over my chest to match him.

  “Cheyenne needs a mother figure.”

  “Dude, I can’t just bring chicks in here on rotation and hope that one’s the one.”

  “No, but you can stop being an asshole and start opening your eyes. Dana’s death has nothing to do with your happiness. She wasn’t the one for you. You were getting divorced for Christ’s sake.”

  “I know,” I murmured.

  “Just think about it. There is always a princess for every asshole. You just need to stop being one and open your heart again.”

  “Why do you sound like Dr. Phil right now?” I laughed.

  “Fuck you! I just want you to have a good time on the cruise and maybe find the one, too.”

  “Are you going to see your parents?”

  “Yeah, if we have time. Doubt we will since they live in Santa Barbara now, but I’ll see if they can meet up with us.”

  “All right, let me call Bill. What are the dates again?”

  Avery searched on his phone for the dates as I called Bill. I knew he wouldn’t care if I left Cheyenne there for a week. He and Trish wanted to see Cheyenne more than the little they did, which was typically once a year. Cheyenne was there for a couple of weeks in the summer, and then Bill and Trish came to New York for Christmas. I really tried to let them see Cheyenne as much as possible, but it was hard with the bar.

  After speaking with Bill, I handed the phone to Cheyenne to let her speak to her grandparents. When I walked into the living room, she was still on her phone. My baby was growing up, and before long, I knew I’d have to buy a shotgun for when she started dating.

  “Daddy!” I heard Cheyenne yelling from down the hall, waking me up out of my deep sleep. “Daddy, where are you?”

  “In my bedroom!” I shouted back.

  She found me as she came running down the hall, Courtney following closely behind her. “Courtney was just telling me that …”

  “Slow down. Stop talking so fast,” I said, trying to wake up and figure out what the fuck she was saying.

  “Courtney was just telling me that she is going to play softball again this year and she wants me to play, too. Can I play, too? Can I? Huh? Can I?”

  “Cheyenne, calm down. I thought you didn’t like sports?” I asked, sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Over the years, I’d assumed she didn’t like sports since she’d never expressed an interest in anything but Barbies, riding her bike and kicking Avery’s ass at Wii bowling.

  Courtney stood in the doorway of my room, watching me. “No, I told you that I didn’t like baseball,” she said, putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes.

  “You know that softball is like baseball, but just with a bigger ball right?”

  “Yes, Dad!” Cheyenne stood there, her hand on her hip with her blue eyes pleading.

  “All right, when are sign-ups?” Dana and I both played baseball growing up, so it was natural for her to follow in our footsteps. I couldn’t wait to throw the ball around with her.

  “Courtney said tomorrow,” she said, looking back at Courtney for confirmation. “She also said I need to get a glove. Can we go get a glove tonight?”

  “Tonight?” I asked, looking at the clock next to my king-size bed. “Let me go talk with Courtney’s parents and get all the details first, okay?”

  I walked across the street and spoke with Courtney’s parents. Registration was the next day, and after everyone registered, they would place each girl on a team. Courtney’s dad was the coach for Team Lightning, so he assured me that he would make sure they were on the same team. I thanked him and told him to let me know if he needed an assistant coach. The first practice would be on the Monday after we returned from California, so that gave me plenty of time to get a glove broken in for her.

  Everything was going to work out perfectly.

  Spring break was finally happening.

  Nicole and I each packed two suitcases plus a carry-on bag for our cruise. In the morning, Jared was driving us to the airport, and then we were off to California to board the ship for eight days. On day four, we would be at our first port. I couldn’t wait to get a tan and Nicole couldn’t wait to meet men.

  “Jared,” I called from the bedroom after zipping up my final suitcase. “Jared,” I called again, but there was still no answer. I walked into the living room to see him sitting in his usual spot on the couch, his headphones on, an Xbox controller in his hands and Call of Duty on the TV screen. “Hey!” I said, standing next to him, my hands on my hips.

  He looked at me, lifting the left side of his headphones. “Yeah?”

  “Can you move the suitcases off the bed? I’m done packing and my shoulder is really bothering me.”

  “Yeah, after this,” he mumbled as he righted his headphones and returned his eyes back to the TV screen.

  It had been almost two months since I hurt my shoulder. I was taking it easy and avoided doing any exercises at the gym that involved my upper body, but it wasn’t getting any better. In fact, I thought it was getting worse. My doctor had prescribed medication to take during the day since the muscle relaxers knocked me out, but it wasn’t really working either.

  Not on
ly was I looking forward to the sun and a tan, but I planned to get a massage, too. I was hoping that it would help my shoulder somehow as I was desperate for any relief. I tried to talk Jared into massaging my shoulder a few times, but he was too busy playing COD, and I would fall asleep before he was done for the night.

  I moved the suitcases myself, popped half of a muscle relaxer and climbed into bed, reading a romance novel that Nicole had recommended. Before long, I was falling asleep, not caring about my shoulder or Jared being a selfish ass.

  “Brooke, wake up,” Jared said, shaking me a little. I could feel him kissing my neck as I tried to wake.

  I moaned a response, not able to do more because of the muscle relaxer.

  “Wake up. We need to have sex before you leave for a whole week.”

  I moaned again, trying to wake up, but the muscle relaxer was fighting against me. “I took a muscle …” He shook me again. “I took a muscle relaxer, Jared,” I mumbled.

  “That’s okay, I’ll do all the work,” he said, sliding down my front, dragging my pajama bottoms with him.

  I was trying to wake up—to enjoy sex with my boyfriend, but the pill was keeping me from waking fully. I tried to touch him, to pull his short blond hair, only to find that I didn’t have the strength to do so. I felt Jared enter me, his cock thrusting into my center again and again until I heard him grunt and fall on top of me.

  At least one of us was satisfied with how it turned out.

  “Morning, sunshine,” I said, handing Nicole a cup of her favorite latte as she opened her front door. “Ready to go soak in some sun?”

  “Hell yeah. Where’s Jared?” she asked, looking around me.

  “In the car.” I pointed with my thumb over my shoulder.

  “He couldn’t come up and help with my bags?”

  “Oh … we can get them. We have to lug them from the baggage claim to the bus when we get to L.A. anyway.” I pointed out.

  “Still, he’s a man … no, never mind. He’s a boy.”

  “I think you need to start drinking your coffee, grouch.” I laughed.

  “Remember you need to pay the rent tomorrow when the office is open,” I said to Jared as he drove. “I went grocery shopping yesterday, so you should have enough food to get through the week.”

  “I remember. And if I run out of food, I’ll order a pizza.”

  Jared was no stranger to pizza. Every Friday and Saturday night, he’d order a pizza and eat the whole large pie while playing COD. He never gained a pound, and it pissed me off because while he sat on his lazy ass playing video games, I went to the gym and busted my ass. Jerk.

  “Okay, I won’t have my phone turned on since we’ll be in Mexico. Call your parents if there’s an emergency.”

  “Got it.”

  I heard Nicole huff in the backseat. I knew what she was thinking; I shouldn’t have to remind Jared about any of this, he was thirty-four after-all.

  We pulled up to the departures at the airport, and Jared came around to help us with our bags. I stole a quick glance at Nicole as she rolled her eyes. Jared was helpful at times. I kissed him good-bye before Nicole and I struggled to carry our luggage to the check-in counter for our flight. We checked in our bags, minus our carry-ons, and made our way to security.

  “Jesus, those heavy bags hurt my shoulder,” I said, rubbing it as we waited in security. My suitcases had wheels, but just pulling them made my right shoulder flare up.

  “I can’t believe your shoulder is still hurting you. You need to go back to the doctor when we get back. Maybe you should see Dr. Sam.”

  Nicole worked for a private doctor’s office that specialized in family medicine. The office consisted of five doctors and staff. Her building was like a mini hospital, but they didn’t work weekends. Everything was under the same roof; all the doctors you needed to see for whatever procedure you needed, your pharmacy, X-rays—whatever. Nicole had been begging me for years to switch to Dr. Sam because according to her, she was the best.

  When I hurt my shoulder, I didn’t want to go through the hassle of finding a new doctor. Now I was regretting that decision, considering my doctor never even touched my shoulder to see what was going on and just prescribed me pills. Maybe I should have listened to my best friend who was also a registered nurse.

  “I’ve been emailing with my doctor, and she just keeps telling me that muscle strains take a long time to heal. She prescribed me new meds, but I think they take some time to get into my system,” I said, stepping forward in line.

  “I still find it weird that she wouldn’t run any tests and just prescribed you medication. Yes, muscle strains do take time to heal, but not this long—especially since you aren’t doing anything to further strain it.”

  “Me too, but she’s the doctor.”

  “And I’m a nurse and your best friend. If your shoulder is still hurting after the cruise, promise me you’ll schedule an appointment with Dr. Sam?” she pleaded, taking off her shoes before placing them in the plastic bin by the metal detector.

  “Fine.” I sighed. She was probably right.

  We made it through security without any problems. After finding our gate, we sat down, waiting for our flight that we would be boarding in just a few minutes.

  “You’re never going to guess what Jared did last night,” I whispered so the crowd of people waiting for the plane wouldn’t hear.

  “Anything besides playing Call of Duty will surprise me,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “You know how I’ve been taking muscle relaxers at bedtime?”

  She nodded.

  “Well, I only took half of one because a full one makes me groggy if I don’t get like ten hours of sleep. Anyway, I’m sleeping and Jared tries to wake me up to have sex.”

  “Eww, what did you do? Pretend you were asleep?” she asked with a disgusted look on her face.

  “I remember telling him that I took a muscle relaxer and him telling me that he would do all the work.”

  “What a pig.”

  “I know, and I really was asleep—mostly. I barely remember anything.”

  “That’s like rape,” she whispered.

  “No, it’s not.” I laughed. “I would have wanted to do it if I could. Those pills knock me the fuck out.”

  “Whatever, I still think he took advantage of you.”

  Nicole hated Jared and part of me didn’t blame her. I’d hated most of her old boyfriends.

  We made it to Los Angeles and boarded the last bus to the docks.

  “Are you going to tell people you have a boyfriend?” Nicole asked me.

  “Of course. You know I’m not interested in meeting anyone.”

  “But we are going on a singles cruise.”

  “Yeah, a cruise you tricked me into going on.” I laughed.

  “Just have fun. I don’t want you moping around,” Nicole said, crossing her arms over her chest. “In fact, if you do meet someone and hook up with them, I won’t tell Jared.”

  “I won’t be moping around. Don’t be ridiculous. And I’m not going to cheat on Jared.”

  “I’m serious. If you do meet a hot guy, I won’t tell. You know I hate that loser.”

  “I know, but I won’t be cheating on him. I’m here for you and to get a tan—oh, and a massage.”

  Nicole gave me a stern look then looked out the window at the Southern California scenery—or lack thereof. There was nothing but buildings everywhere. Once we got down to the docks, we took pictures of the Queen Mary that was docked nearby and hurried to board our ship.

  We checked in after going through security, then posed for a picture on our way to the ship like they do at Disneyland. A fake tropical background was created by using miniature palm trees, a beach ball, beach chair, and even a fake sandcastle. We giggled as we walked up the long ramp towards the ship, not believing that Spring Break was already here.

  Growing up, I never imaged I would be traveling let alone going out of the country, and I never imagined that I would
be able to go on a vacation.

  My mother left us minimal funds when she would go out of town, so at fifteen, I got a job. I stayed behind and made money to support my family because I felt like a mother to Bailey.

  Now that she was off to college, I felt like I had to be a mother to Jared instead. Our rent wasn’t cheap, and Jared was always buying expensive gaming equipment or something for his car. My money was spent on groceries and anything extra was sent to Bailee while she was at college.

  I realized as the wind blew through my hair that I needed to get out more. I needed to stop my normal, boring routine, and start living my life for me. I needed to travel, see the world and let my hair down. Jared was thirty-four; he could learn to cook and help clean around the apartment. Shit, he needed to get out of the house, too!

  “I just want to say thank you for giving me this gift. If it weren’t for you, I would be at home, doing laundry and getting ready for the work week. No matter what happens, let’s just have fun. I’ll be your wing-woman and get you a shitload of phone numbers,” I said, linking my arm through Nicole’s.

  “I knew I would have to force you to come. That’s why I paid for it before I gave it to you. And I hope to get more than phone numbers.” Nicole winked at me.

  We laughed as we stood in the long line of people waiting to board the ship. Everything was about standing in lines. Lines to board the bus, lines to go through security, lines to check-in, lines to take our picture with the fake tropical background, and now lines to board the ship.

  Once we made it to the front, a man with a Hispanic accent greeted us. “My name is Waldo and I will be your Steward. I’ll show you to your cabin. Your bags will be delivered there shortly,” he said as he gestured for us to follow him.

  Nicole and I turned towards each other, wide-eyed.

  “Did he just say ‘Waldo’?” she asked without words, raising her eyebrows.

  I nodded and spoke without words back. “Yes. Yes, he said his name is Waldo.”