Daizlei Academy Omnibus Collection

by Kel Carpenter

  “What does that mean?” Tori asked, her country twang nearly as sharp as Amber’s condescension.

  “She’s here, but nobody’s home,” Alexandra said, and her sadness fueled me more.

  My blood rushed, adrenaline spiking in my system to urge me to fight. I wasn’t going to, though, not this time.

  Here’s the thing about being crazy. There was enough going on in my head that I could step out of reality almost at will. I hadn’t done it in years, but it was nearly as useful a skill as the walls I could resurrect and crumble with mere thoughts. This wasn’t something my father had taught me, though; this was all on dear old mom.

  Limbo was a lot like being awake on the verge of sleep, or the other way around. I could hear them, but the words were distorted. Reality twisted as I retreated deeper and deeper into the recesses of my mind. I needed space. Time to think about what was happening. If they wouldn’t give it to me, I would make it.

  I would start over.

  This was the ultimate panic attack, and the deepest meditation. Caught somewhere between a state of adrenaline and calm, the balance struck. I’d found it.

  Peace. Control.

  Weren’t they the same?

  “She’s a bloody coward,” someone cursed.

  Is it the same day? Is it only moments later?

  I didn’t know. Nor did I care.

  “She wasn’t ready,” Aaron murmured.

  He didn’t sound far away. Somehow, even here, his noose knotted around my neck. His voice was thicker than usual. Deeper. Darker. I needed to go further. Somewhere I could think. Somewhere I could be alone.

  “She doesn’t have a choice. None of us were ready, but you don’t see us sleeping all day We’ve covered for her long enough. She needs to grow a pair.”

  I didn’t know who it was, but the voice sounded familiar enough that I knew I’d heard it before.

  “She’ll come back eventually. She always does,” my sister said. I could almost feel her heat, deep in my chilled bones.

  I pressed further, until the only voice I could hear was my own. Inside my mind, the vast darkness expanded before me in a neverending vacuum outside of time or space. Was this why people abused drugs, or drank themselves into oblivion? Sometimes, you just needed to drown out the voices.

  “Is this peace?” I asked, my voice echoing in my own ears.

  “Not quite,” a voice answered. I should’ve known she would be here. That I could never run far enough.

  “What do you want? Is ruining my life not enough for you?” I yelled. My hands clenched into fists of their own accord. I was as angry as ever. Resentful as always.

  My other made a tsk sound, her cherry red heels clicking despite the lack of a floor.

  “I didn’t ruin your life. You’re being dramatic, always cursing at people because ‘nobody understands you.’ Gag.” She pretend-shuddered.

  Only fueling my hatred more. Deep down, I knew I should walk away. I should go back, and talk to my family, my friends. I shouldn’t be making deals with the devil, but maybe that was what I’d come here for. Maybe this was how I would find peace.

  “Says me to me. Okay. I have officially lost it,” I deadpanned.

  My other smirked, sucking a tooth obnoxiously. “This is why I like you,” she said.

  I blinked, raising an eyebrow. “Huh?”

  “As much as you pity yourself, deep down, you and I are the same.” Her eyes traveled over me lazily. Too familiar for comfort, but foreign enough to give me the creeps.

  “It’s hard to be the same when you’re not real,” I said. Why am I wasting my time with this?

  “Not that again. Haven’t we been over this?” She rolled her eyes, tapping her heel impatiently.

  “You only recently learned to talk. I think you’re overselling yourself,” I scoffed.

  “I think you’re underestimating how strong we really are. If you spent half the time you waste moping actually learning self-control and searching for real answers, you wouldn’t have to dream about freedom. We would already have it,” she said.

  “What’s the point in freedom when I can’t even have peace? I’m angry all the time. I can’t keep my temper. Any semblance of control I had is long gone…” I trailed off. Coming here was supposed to help me. It was supposed to make clear whatever I’d been missing. When I was younger and the voices got too bad, they never followed me here. When I’d been whipped bloody by my own sister, the pain had never followed me here. So why was she here?

  “To help you. Isn’t that what you wanted? An answer to your questions. A voice to guide you.” She paused, motioning to herself like she was the lady of the hour. “Peace and freedom aren’t all that different at the end of the day. What if I told you I could get you there? What if I said I could free you?”

  Those were dangerous words to a drowning girl trying to find the surface. Which meant they were too good to be true.

  “You’re a damn liar,” I said, walking back the way I’d come.

  She didn’t follow, but then again, maybe she didn’t need to. She always seemed to be there, in the back of my mind.

  “We’re one and the same. You want to soothe the pain? You want peace? Then stop acting like a fool. You’re the strongest one here, and yet you cower before your own gifts and try to shove them under the rug for the sake of others. If you want peace, you have to take it. Nothing is free in this world. Your gifts come with a cost, and it’s time you stopped denying yourself.”

  Those words hit a nerve. Like something deep inside me resonated with them. Where had I heard them before? A door illuminated, standing out from the blackness. Golden light peeked through the crack as it rattled violently in its frame.

  I reached out to brush my fingers over the handle, feeling it come alive beneath me. The metal warmed to my touch, almost intimately, as odd as that sounded. I pulled away, not wanting to know what I would find behind it. Not wanting to face that truth quite yet.

  My other had given me enough to think about without going there.

  “What happened to Lily?” I asked. Time here ran differently than the real world. These minutes could feel like hours, but days could be only minutes. I never really knew how much time I’d spent in this state of in-between until I returned, but I couldn’t go back without knowing this.

  “She burned herself out trying to take in your energy with nowhere to send it. The little glutton doesn’t know moderation, and if she’s not careful, next time will end poorly.” Her eyes glowed. Pure undiluted violet. Even when mine took on the hue, the color was never quite so striking. It was just as terrifying as it was beautiful.

  “So you did cause it?” I demanded, but the anger wasn’t there. Not anymore.

  “No. You caused it. I merely took advantage of it. Her soul wasn’t strong enough, though, and it’s that weakness that’ll get you both killed if you keep playing with gifts you don’t understand.” She spoke in riddles, and while I wanted to make a comment about her being crazy…she was saner than I’d given her credit for. Or I really was this far gone. Neither thought sat well with me.

  “You seem to know a lot about things you shouldn’t. How is it possible you know this, but I don’t? Aren’t we one and the same? You said so yourself,” I pointed out. Something was drawing me back, like a thread that wouldn’t break.

  “I did, didn’t I?” she mused, avoiding my question entirely.

  “You’re going to keep terrorizing me when I wake up, aren’t you?” The thought made my skin crawl, because I was tired of fighting her. I was tired of fighting myself over the right to my mind. The one thing I was coming to realize, though, was that the more I fought, the stronger she became.

  “Have you ever stopped to think that if you didn’t fight it, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much? Your instincts know what you need, even if your sentimental heart doesn’t.”

  I didn’t ask any more questions. I didn’t need to. Deep down, some part of me needed to hear it, and know that my pain was in m
y control. My anger was in my control. And maybe, even peace was in my control. She wasn’t real, and I had no reason to believe her. I had no reason to trust a demon that wore my face, but I did. I’d come in here looking for answers and a way out, but the answer had been there all along.

  There was no point hating myself for existing. There wasn’t strength in bottling it up, just to explode on people because I couldn’t control it. I wanted to protect my friends from myself. I wanted to hate them for making me care. Ultimately, I didn’t really know what I wanted.

  Was I Selena the protector? Or was I terror?

  Maybe if I stopped holding back, I would find out. Maybe if I stopped hiding, I wouldn’t have so many secrets. Maybe if I stopped caring so much about what other people did, I could control my own actions.

  My eyes snapped open, but this time the gray concrete walls were a welcome sight. For once, everyone was gone. I pulled my phone from my back pocket to check the time, but the screen stayed black. An empty battery icon flashed red, and I pursed my lips.

  Time to go find them. Time to fix this.

  I hopped out of bed with a lightness I hadn’t felt in a while. My tank top was as disheveled as before, and I had no idea how much time had passed, but I was about to find out. I looked at Lily, still curled up in bed.

  I will find a way to fix this. I’ll come back.

  The hinge of the bunker door squeaked as I slipped through it and into the stairwell. There was no way it was nighttime, not with everyone gone.

  A floor above me, I could already make out the grunts of someone falling on their ass in the simulator. Next thing I knew, an explosion sounded. What?

  I took the stairs two at a time, throwing the door open hard enough that it stuck in the wall beside me. Oops.

  “Well, well. Long time no see. Your friends here were just telling me how unwell you are, but I’m so happy you could make it for the next elimination.”

  Another shout came from inside the simulator, but all I could focus on was Anastasia Fortescue, smug and smiling as bombs went off left and right while my friends screamed. They were so royally screwed, but, judging by her grin, I was too.

  Chapter 83

  Not one person looked my way as I stood next to the master who held my leash. On one side of the double-paned glass, Anastasia and I watched silently. Vonlowsky monitored from a few feet away, stoic as ever. Silent because he knew this was wrong.

  Now isn’t the time to overreact, I reminded myself.

  I could help them, but I needed to be smart about it. Throwing a temper tantrum like a three-year-old would get me nowhere with the Council Member.

  “Look at them, running around like ants waiting for a boot.”

  I didn’t respond and carefully kept my face blank. Maybe it was the shadows, but my doppelgänger looked like she was enjoying this a little too much.

  So much for her spiel about not wanting to start a war.

  Maybe she just liked putting powerful people under her thumb to see how they fared. To make sure she always came out on top as Head of the Council.

  A bloodcurdling scream pierced my ears when a bomb went off that Blair hadn’t been able to diffuse, and Alec jumped in front of her. Shrapnel bounced off the glass, and the bloody shreds of his jeans told me it wasn’t good.

  “I thought you were supposed to be training them, Vonlowsky,” she said sharply.

  My teacher swallowed hard, choosing his next words wisely. For someone who had no problem telling me where it was at, his attitude was a bit more pliant when it came to the Supernatural would-be queen. “I have been, my lady, but there have been complications…”

  I narrowed my eyes at his damned cowardice. Complications? He meant me. That bastard was going to throw me under the bus.

  “Complications? The prison break they orchestrated was more thought out than this,” she sneered.

  I tucked that information away for later, as one more piece behind the nine’s presence fell into place. A prison break? Which one of them had been the prisoner…or was that person even still alive? Now wasn’t the time, though, because I wasn’t getting blamed for this mess of a hit squad, even though it was kind of my fault.

  “What he means to say, Council Member, is that they’re unaccustomed to not having orders. How can you expect them to fight as a unit without me there to guide them?” I asked. My palms broke out in a clammy sweat, and I wiped them discreetly across my thighs, hoping she didn’t notice.

  “Guide them? I think you’re overselling yourself, Foster. This course was designed to simulate a war, because a war is what you’ll be fighting. One girl won’t make a difference. You won’t make a difference. Do you understand that?” she snapped, suddenly colder than ever before. Something I said must’ve triggered her defenses, because she seemed determined to make sure I understood how insignificant I was.

  But I’m not.

  “I understand, Council Member.” I paused just long enough for her to settle and turn back to the glass like it was a boring TV show. I should’ve stopped there, but I couldn’t. “But I think you’re underestimating me. Aren’t my skills the reason you made me do this?”

  Unfortunately, I didn’t take into account that even speaking at all would bring down her wrath like a merciless god.

  Her hand twitched, like she was having to control the urge to do something, but what was beyond me. To add insult to injury, when she turned her cold eyes on me with the full weight of her fury behind them, I refused to look away and lower myself to the level of her measly, cowering servants. I didn’t know what had happened between now and when we’d last spoken, but something had changed in her. Her coldness was harder, her silver tongue sharper.

  “Last I checked, Foster, your skills are the only reason you’re even of use to me, but if you’re so desperate to demonstrate how important you are, by all means show me just how you plan to save them all.” For all the fury consuming her, her voice was lifeless. She didn’t seem to particularly care one way or the other about what happened to them. I did, though, and she didn’t like that. She didn’t like that I gave a damn about what happened to them.

  “By all means, Mistress. I live to serve,” I hissed back through a clenched jaw.

  She smashed a button on the remote in her hand, opening the door to the simulator. Fire shot out, and I took a deep breath before plunging into the flames, feet first and headstrong as always.

  If limbo had taught me anything, it was that I needed to man up and buckle down. Whoever had called me a coward wasn’t wrong, but I could change that. I could save them all.

  The smoke filled my lungs faster than I’d expected, but it only added to my sense of urgency. Anastasia hadn’t been kidding when she said she’d turned this place into a war zone.

  Concrete littered the ground, sometimes stacking up so high I couldn’t see around it. There were clearly buildings in this simulation, before the bombs, but they were broken now. Demolished. Disintegrated. Desolated. That was what this simulation was: despair given life. This could’ve been any city, anywhere, since rubble was all that remained of the once mighty concrete jungle. Fire spread from one downed power line to the other, as explosions shook the earth.

  How the simulator even worked was outside my understanding, but this scene…it was something else. Piles upon piles of smoking concrete stacked up in every direction. This was madness. No, that wasn’t right. This was war, and it brought out a desperation in people that could make some go crazy. But I wouldn’t falter, and I wouldn’t fail.

  “Your leader said she could save you all. You should hope, for your sakes, that she’s right.” Anastasia’s voice sounded over the room, but even I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. No wonder no one had noticed me earlier. With all the smoke and debris, it wasn’t like you could even find the damn window.

  “Selena?” It was Alexandra’s voice, sounding more disbelieving than anything.

  A flash of metal skimmed by her, landing three feet away. Two beeps,
and I knew what was coming. Swinging into motion, I crossed the twenty yards before anyone saw me and chucked the metal bomb thirty feet up as it exploded in a shower of sparks. Alexandra jumped, whirling around to stare at me. Her eyes were wide and…watering?

  “I told them you’d come back,” she whispered, oblivious to the second bomb that planted itself two feet behind her.

  “I always do,” I called as I sent it flying.

  A chorus of battle cries came from over a ridge.

  That had better be the rest of them, I thought grimly as I grabbed Alexandra’s hand and made a run for it.

  “They didn’t believe me when I said you would. Can you blame them?” she yelled over the next explosion ten meters behind us.

  I had to slow down so she could keep up, but I wasn’t leaving her behind here. Not in a war zone. No matter how pretend it was.

  We reached the top of the concrete slab just as another metal disk came flying for us—or more specifically, for our friends about thirty feet below.

  Have you ever stopped to think that if you didn’t fight it, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much? Your instincts know what you need, even if your sentimental heart doesn’t.

  This time I wasn’t letting my sentimental heart get in the way as I pushed Alexandra off the ridge, and jumped ten feet out into the air, plummeting straight down.

  Cries of warning and relief rang through the air as I fell, my eyes never leaving the shiny metal disk as we met in the middle. Ten feet from the ground, I plucked the disk from its flight path and rebounded it like a shotput straight for the artificial sky.

  The room rattled as the bomb exploded, right as my feet hit the ground. The clearing was soft enough that when I landed, I rolled, coming up face-to-face with most of the rest of my team.

  “Where are Blair and Alec?” I asked, but all they did was stare.

  Am I really so unreliable that they didn’t think I’d come back? Assholes.

  “We lost them when the building came down. This place is a madhouse. We need to get out of here before the smoke gets worse,” Aaron said finally.