Big Trouble

by Andrew Seiple

  Beyond them, the four adventurers were standing near the inn, backlit by the coals. Her father was over there too, talking with them. Chase nodded to the rest of the halvens who were sitting on the church steps… about the only thing left standing of the original structure. They were passing a bottle back and forth, staring morosely at the Necromancer. Not in a threatening manner, not like last time. That was something, at least.

  She gave Thomasi a small wave, then hesitated, turning back before she could fully pass him. “Where are you going to go now?”

  “Well. Since I’ve been relieved of the burden of dropping Vaffy off with the authorities, I think I’m going to go look up some old friends. Pull in some assets that might still be around. I was making good headway on… some business that was affecting people like us, earlier. I just got too noisy about it around the wrong people. I’m going to try to find my way out of the reach, then resume solving a decades-old riddle.” He smiled, mustaches jiggling. “Might see about getting the circus back together, too. It’ll be quite the adventure. So long as I can steer clear of my captors, anyway.”

  “The Camerlengo— Zenobia, I mean— she works for the Baroness Floria.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Thomasi said, tugging on the brim of his hat. “I managed to tease her into a few verbal slips during my interrogations, over the years. I think there’s something bigger at work here, though I can’t say what. This is going to be hard.” He glanced over to the adventurers, who were shaking hands with Stem Berrymore.

  “I’ll be back,” Chase promised. “Excuse me.” She picked up her skirts and hurried over to the small group. Renny turned and waved as she approached, and other three either nodded or smiled as she skidded to a stop.

  “What did I miss?” she asked the motley crew.

  “We’re going back home,” Baconator grunted. “Mister Berrymore had a map.”

  “It shows Cylvania on it,” Renny said. “We need to get back as soon as possible. It’ll be a long journey.”

  “Months,” Maddie said.

  “Oh,” Chase said, staring down at Renny. “I was kind of hoping you could stay.”

  “Our job is to explore and report back.” Renny said. “And we need to—” He shot Chase’s dad a quick look, and shut up.

  “Right,” Chase said, slowly. Then it clicked in her mind. The soulstones. They need to get the new bodies for their friends, and they can’t talk about it here because necromancy’s illegal.

  “We’re sending them off with full supplies,” Stem Berrymore confirmed. “As much as we can spare. After that we’ll load up our own cart and head off to Therona. Or Hereona, depending on how many people are on the roads.” He grimaced. “Not good to be traveling so late in the season. Too many bandits. Still, with the levels we got tonight that shouldn’t be a problem.” He patted Chase on the shoulder. “You’ll get a workout healing for us, Sweetpea.”

  “And after that, what then?” Chase asked. “Do we come back home?”

  “Mother Bloom will. Millie Wheadle as well. They don’t know enough to be a danger, if Zenobia survives the prison and comes looking for people to blame. But the rest of us are going to have to disappear.”

  “And Mom?”

  “She’ll come with us. She’s at the house, waiting, where I told her to wait. Your mother, me, Greta, yourself… then Danver Posy, Burt Crabapple, Grummer Gar, and Benjy Lapin. That’s eight, all told. Enough to brave the roads just fine. Burt’s got some family up near Veniveci. It’s a small town, like this but a bit bigger. Plenty of other halvens to blend in with until this blows over. Might take a while, though.”

  Eight. Chase recalled the Eight of Warriors. The card that meant confinement. The prisoner bound in chains, held at swordpoint. That prisoner was a young woman.

  Chase looked into her father’s eyes, tired and dark in the moonlight. My enemy is the party. The bonds of love between us.

  And if I go along with this the world will go on, and things will fall into place.

  She turned then and looked at Thomasi. Saw him on the stoop, passing the bottle with the survivors, talking and spreading his hands as he told jokes or stories. Saw how they laughed as he spoke.

  “No,” she said.

  The adventurers, who had been moving off, paused and looked back.

  “No?” Her father blinked. “Sweetpea, it’s the safest plan we’ve got.”

  “Yes. It is. But…” she took a deep breath. “Dad, I meant it when I said this town was killing me. I can’t live like… this.” Her hand swept over the intact side of town. “Even if the price is that.” She traced a path in the air, over to the wreckage. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

  His hand tightened on her shoulder. “You’re talking nonsense. You know it’s not safe out there. Where will you go? What will you do? Do you have any idea what can happen to a woman traveling alone?”

  “Who said I’ll be alone?” She looked back at Thomasi again and heard her Father inhale sharply.

  “Chase Berrymore, I forbid you—” Then he fell silent.

  “Forbid me to what?” Chase asked, feeling an odd calm settle into her bones. This felt right. This was how it had to go. A day ago a scolding from her Father would have been a terrifying prospect. Now? Now it was nothing. Now it was the least of her worries.

  “I can’t, can I?” Stem Berrymore sighed. “I’ve no way to keep you. And no right to it. You saved us, my girl. You saved us all. Who am I to tell you what you can and can’t do?”

  She embraced him, and to her shock, felt him shaking. Felt tears trickling down her neck, as he cried. Her Father was crying.

  “I’ll go with her,” said a small voice behind them, and the two halvens looked back in surprise… and met Moira and Father Gronk’s surprised eyes as well, as they all stared at Renny.

  “What? No, you don’t have to.” Chase said. “I know you want to go back and help your friends with the, uh… trip.”

  “I want to,” Renny said, stepping up. “We’re supposed to explore and make friends and report back, right? Well there’s a lot more to explore. And besides, my friends are strong. They can make it back without me. I’d just slow them down.”

  “You’re sure about this?” Baconator asked, patting one little pig-paw on Renny’s arm. Renny turned and hugged him and oh gods it was adorable.

  The little golems turned around just as she thought that, and Baconator said, “Thanks! That’s a level!”

  “What?” Chase blinked.

  “Never mind. I’ll tell you later.” Renny let go of his friend. “I’ll catch up to you guys when this is done.”

  “All right, foxie,” Maddie said, slowly. “I understand how it is. You, girl.” She shot a look at Chase. “You take care o’ him, or you’ll answer to me.”

  “I promise,” Chase said, offering Renny her hand. “Dad? Take care of Greta for me, all right?”

  “I will. But you make me a promise, Sweetpea. You come back when this is all done. You stay alive, and when you’re done with wandering, you come home to us. All right?”

  “I promise,” Chase said, and then she turned her back and walked away. She left because if she stayed even a moment later, she knew her resolve would crumble.

  Thomasi stood up from the stoop as she headed toward his wagon and met her halfway. “Ah, Miss Berrymore! And… er… I’m sorry, young fox, I don’t know your name. Is there something you require?”

  “Yes,” she said, and hopped up on the buckboard of the wagon. “Transportation to wherever you’re going.”

  “Er.” Thomasi stared at her and cleared his throat. “Did your father want you to check up on me?”

  “No.” Chase said and put voice to the ideas that she couldn’t say back to her father’s face. “There’s something going on here that I don’t understand. And I’m going to have to understand it, because I’m up to my neck in it.”

  “On the contrary, I’d say that now is the perfect time to walk away,” Thomasi frowned. “Mayb
e the only chance you’ve got.”

  “No. It’s that old story of the lady and the tiger. Sooner or later that prison door is going to open and it’ll either be Dijornos or Zenobia. He’s the tiger, she’s the lady. Except the Lady’s probably going to kill me for what I did, and Dijornos…” Chase fell silent.

  “I imagine he’s going to kill you too. Greta filled me in on the particulars,” Thomasi said, sitting next to her on the buckboard.

  “Dijornos offered me a guild membership,” Chase said, staring into the darkness.

  Thomasi almost fell off the wagon. “I er, I see you said no.”

  “Yes. You see that. Just like Dijornos did, I bet,” Chase said, looking up at the frightened man. “You see that I’m a ninth level halven. But HOW do you see that? You’re no Scout. And you’re not using a skill.” She frowned. “And for that matter, what are options? What does that skill do?” She shook her head. “There are too many unanswered questions, here.”

  “And far too much danger. The places I’m going, the things I’m investigating…” Thomasi looked down, and his eyes fell into darkness as the brim of his hat eclipsed the moonlight. “You don’t have ways to come back from the dead. Your risk is far greater than mine, young lady.”

  “See, my friends and my family don’t have a way to come back, either.” Chase looked over at her father, who had joined the other halvens by the steps, and was trying to rouse them from their drinking session. “And if I stay with them, they’ll be more tempting targets for whoever built that prison. They haven’t caught the little weird things. They haven’t noticed what I have. Whereas if I’m with you…” she looked at Thomasi.

  “…if you’re with me, then you’ll be drawing heat off them, so to speak. If this works the way you think it does,” the Ringmaster slowly concluded. His fingers drummed his knees, as he bowed his head, seemingly lost in thought. “All right. We’ll try you on for a bit. Young lady, welcome to Venturi’s Traveling Circus!” He stuck out a hand, and she shook.

  “Me, too!” Renny said, and Thomasi chuckled as he shook the little golem’s paw.

  “Yes, you, too. Ah, where are you going?” he asked Chase, as the halven slid down from the wagon.

  “Now that that’s settled, I have to take care of the really hard part,” Chase called back, peering around into the night. “I’ll be right back. Excuse me,” she said, as she spotted Greta coming out of the general store.

  It was harder than Chase thought. And at the end of it, crushed in her sister’s strong arms, she found that she did have a few tears left, after all.

  But after all was said and done, after the supplies were packed, Chase didn’t look back as they left Bothernot.

  Renny did, though. “What happens to the rest of the townspeople?”

  Chase smiled, in a sad way. “They’re ignorant of the whole business with the prisoners and everything else. They’ll come into town and find the wreckage and the bodies ready for burial, but they’ll have no idea what happened. If Zenobia’s the one who comes out from the prison, then she’ll have no reason to punish them or destroy the town. She’d be a fool to do so anyway, this place provides a lot of the food for the whole country.”

  “And the destruction?” Thomasi asked.

  “Well, since all the clown bodies are back to wherever they came from, my neighbors will be spooked by the gore and mess left over. They will probably send a few messages out to call in some clerics from outside to sanctify the place. Then they’ll go on a cleaning binge. After that, since they’re halvens, they’ll throw a harvest festival anyway with whatever food they can salvage.” She stretched, and her stomach rumbled. “Speaking of that, are you a Cook? Or is that something I should be doing? I’m stuck being a Cook so I can get some use from it.”

  “You’re a Cook? Excellent!” Thomasi smiled. “I’ve got a skill that only works when I’ve got a steady diet of healthy food. It’s been quite wrecked, due to forced prison fare, but if you can craft me some proper stuff it’ll pay dividends in time.”

  And so, the trio rode the wagon into the night, discussing meal plans, and dietary restrictions, and other strange and thoroughly un-halven things.

  It was strange; it was new, and yet…

  And yet, Chase knew she was exactly where she needed to be.

  Although… she broke off a conversation about the many uses of kale, as a thought struck her. “Where exactly are we going, anyway?”

  “Let me answer your question with a question.” Thomasi grinned. “Where do all roads lead again?”

  And Chase felt hope rise within her chest. She knew of it only from stories… of the grandeur, and the glory, and the legacy. The great city, the seat of the old empire! “All roads lead to Gnome!” Chase squealed.

  Thomasi laughed, and laughed, and laughed…

  EPILOGUE

  Once upon a time, a halven girl wished for adventure. She got her wish but at great cost and consequence. But she persevered and escaped from her mundane life.

  And now, when she said “Status,” this is what she saw:

  Name: Chase Berrymore

  Age: 15 Years

  Jobs:

  Halven level 9, Cook level 4, Archer level 5, Grifter level 6, Oracle level 8, Teacher Level 1

  Attributes Pools Defenses

  Strength: 55 Constitution: 32 Hit Points: 87 Armor: 0

  Intelligence: 53 Wisdom: 87 Sanity: 140 Mental Fortitude:45

  Dexterity: 94 Agility: 57 Stamina: 151 Endurance: 0

  Charisma: 117 Willpower: 43 Moxie: 160 Cool: 51

  Perception: 62 Luck: 116 Fortune: 178 Fate: 32

  Generic Skills

  Archery – Level 1

  Brawling – Level 7

  Climb – Level 15

  Dagger – Level 2

  Dodge – Level 12

  Fishing – Level 14

  Ride – Level 10

  Stealth – Level 14

  Swim – Level 7

  Throwing – Level 24

  Halven Skills

  Fate’s Friend – Level N/A

  Small in a Good Way – Level N/A

  Cook Skills

  Cooking - Level 14

  Freshen - Level 10

  Archer Skills

  Aim – Level 6

  Demoralizing Shot – Level 1

  Far Shot – Level 1

  Missile Mastery – Level N/A

  Quickdraw – Level N/A

  Rapid Fire – Level N/A

  Razor Arrow – Level 1

  Ricochet Shot – Level 10

  Grifter Skills

  Fools Gold – Level 1

  Forgery – Level 1

  Master of Disguise – Level 3

  Pickpocket – Level 1

  Silent Activation – Level 6

  Silver Tongue – Level 3

  Size Up – Level 1

  Unflappable – Level N/A

  Oracle Skills

  Absorb Condition – Level N/A

  Afflict Self – Level 1

  Diagnose – Level N/A

  Divine Pawn – Level N/A

  Foresight – Level 21

  Lesser Healing – Level 29

  Omens and Portents – Level N/A

  Transfer Condition – Level 3

  Teacher Skills

  Lecture – Level 2

  Smarty Pants – Level N/A

  Unlocked Jobs

  Farmer, Herbalist

  APPENDIX I: CHASE’S JOBS AND SKILLS

  HALVEN

  Smaller even than dwarves but nowhere near as sturdy, halvens normally hate excitement and love regular meals. As such, normally only the weirdos among them go adventuring.

  Level 1 Skills

  Fate’s Friend

  Cost: N/ADuration: Passive Constant

  You gain a bonus to your fate equal to your halven job level.

  Small in a Good Way

  Cost: N/ADuration: Passive Constant

  Sure, you’re small, but you know how to use that! Whenever your size
would be an advantage for the situation you’re in, you gain a bonus equal to your halven level. This doesn’t apply to combat situations unless you’re fighting in very small tunnels, or the foes are all the size of giants, or some other similar factor applies.

  CRAFTING JOBS

  COOK

  Cooks specialize in treating and preparing food for consumption.

  Level 1 Skills

  Cooking

  Cost: Cooking IngredientsDuration: Permanent

  The Cook spends thirty seconds and a variable amount of ingredients and either attempts to craft a known recipe or discover a new recipe. This skill is influenced by wisdom.

  Freshen

  Cost: 10 ForDuration: Instant

  This small charm has a chance of removing any rot and reversing any decay or spoilage on a particular ingredient or foodstuff. Luck weighs heavily in the success of this spell, as does the amount of time the food has been spoiled. Beyond a year, sorry, there’s no salvaging the foodstuff.

  TEACHER

  Teachers pass on valuable knowledge and skills to their students.

  Level 1 Skills

  Lecture

  Cost: 10 MoxDuration: 10 minutes per Teacher level

  When used before starting a lecture or otherwise passing along information, this skill increases the chance that your audience will remember your lesson accurately. This is dependent on both their intelligence and your skill level.

  Smarty Pants

  Cost: N/ADuration: Passive Constant

  Teachers are good at recalling information, no matter how strange! Your smarty pants skill increases the odds that you’ll remember trivia and other useful facts. It scales by your Teacher level.