Victoria's Family

by Kimberly J Muse-Holliday

  Chapter 18

  April 12, 1903 Easter Sunday

  The second pew on the left from the front was packed. Uncle Rock had returned the evening before and everyone wanted to sit next to him for services. Victoria sat on his left and Joseph on his right. Miss Jenny and Henry were also in attendance along with the other regulars who sat on the row. They had arrived to church early in Uncle Rock's new motorcar. He had decided to buy one on his return home from caring for his sister's two children. Their father had finally returned and unfortunately he never got along with him despite his best efforts.

  After services, the group headed to the home to celebrate. The air was still cool at sixty-five degrees as they walked along the lane from Uncle Rock's house to the feeble-minded home. Victoria had suggested they walk instead of taking the motorcar, so they would have more time to talk and take in the surroundings. Wildflowers lined the lane in a subtle display of lavender and yellow. When they arrived at the home, Uncle Rock was speechless. Phase III was complete and Phase IV, the apartment style, was underway. Ada greeted them at the door of the main home with a lovely smile. Victoria noticed as they walked through the door that Ada, whom she had not seen the last few months, looked a little fuller around the waist and she looked back at Joseph with questioning eyes.

  Joseph was focused on Uncle Rock and never noticed the look Victoria had given him. He continued to smile as he made his way inside.

  “Uncle Rock, it is so great to see you.” Ada was beaming with joy.

  “You too, Miss Ada.”

  Uncle Rock gave Ada a brief but warm fatherly hug. Ada was also greeted with hugs from Henry and Miss Jenny. Once all the guests were inside, she quietly closed the door.

  “Everything is ready. Please sit.”

  The group quickly sat around the table, which was made extra-long by pushing two tables together. The table was laden with two platters of sliced baked turkey and bowls of stewed green beans, mashed potatoes and buttered rolls. A gentlemen Victoria had not seen before sat next to Ada. She had not even noticed him when she had entered the home. Uncle Rock sat at the head of the table.

  “If we can all join hands, I will say the blessing.”

  Everyone rushed to comply and bowed their heads.

  “Heavenly Father, thank you for my safe return and for the wonderful young people that you have brought into my life. We thank you for this food and for the opportunity he has given us to help others. Amen.”

  Uncle Rock gave himself a healthy portion of turkey, and then passed the platter on. He watched for a few minutes as everyone around the table began to fill their plates with food. Once the noise settled down some, Uncle Rock turned to Ada, who was sitting next to him.

  “Ada, I do not believe I have met you knew friend.”

  “Robert.”

  “Hello Robert, what do you do for us at the home?”

  “Gardening.”

  “Uncle Rock, Robert moved into the home mid-January and has been helping with the crops. Ada requested he join us today.”

  “Thank you Henry, how have the crops been doing?”

  “We will save that conversation for after the meal. I would love to show you the fields.”

  “I would like that Henry. Thank you.”

  “You have all done a wonderful job. The progress is amazing.”

  “Thank you Uncle Rock,” replied Victoria as she blushed slightly.

  The rest of the meal was spent in light chatter, as everyone wanted to update Mr. Rockford with all that happened the months that he had been away. After the meal, Mr. Rockford and Henry went to the fields to see the progress on the crops while the rest cleaned up. Victoria kept glancing at Ada. Her jealousy was kicking in and she felt she had to have a talk with Henry. She made her way out of the house without a word and headed to the fields. It took only a moment for Joseph to realize that she was gone. He hurried out the door to catch up with her.

  “What is your hurry?”

  “I need to talk to Henry about Ada.” Victoria was on a mission and did not slow any. Joseph grabbed her arm to stop her progress.

  “What about Ada?”

  Victoria forcefully removed his hand.

  “She looks pregnant. You said nothing happened.”

  Joseph stood there speechless and let her walk away. She did not trust that he was an honorable man. Ada had not noticed him since Robert had arrived. He was always bringing her chocolates every evening following the evening meal. She likely had only gained a little weight. Her cheeks were a little fuller. Joseph walked back to the home with a heavy heart. He needed time alone to pray. When he returned, Miss Jenny was visiting with Ada and Robert while they drank coffee. He did not stop to visit and went straight to his room and locked the door. His heart was breaking.

  Victoria finally arrived in the field where Henry and Mr. Rockford were talking.

  “Henry, may I have a word with you?” Victoria did nothing to mask her anger and lack of patience.

  “Victoria, I appreciate you walking out here, but now is not a good time. We will be back at the home in a little while.”

  Victoria glared at Henry briefly trying to decide what to do next. Her temper won out.

  “He lied. He got her pregnant over the holidays. Why did you not tell me?”

  “Go back to the home. Until you can talk calmly, we have nothing to talk about.”

  “I am not a child. You cannot just order me around.”

  “Nor can you order me to talk with you.”

  “Victoria,” stated Uncle Rock in a calm firm voice.

  Victoria stomped her foot, turned, and ran the whole way back home.

  “Henry, do you have any idea who she was talking about?”

  “Ada. It is not true. Joseph informed me of everything that happened over the holidays. He was prepared to marry her if necessary. Nothing happened other that she exposed herself to him and a kiss prior to that. She has been living with Mrs. Brocks ever since. I am certain he told me everything. Besides, she would not be showing this early.”

  “I see Victoria is still having difficulty controlling her emotions.”

  “She has made great progress. Today is just not a good day for her.”

  Uncle Rock and Henry went back to talking about the fields as they made their way back to the home at a leisurely pace.

  / / /

  That evening Victoria, Miss Jenny, and Mr. Rockford were sitting in the parlor each engrossed in a book. The silence was peaceful, but Victoria felt no peace. She was making little progress with her book. She kept reflecting back to the day's events. She had spent the rest of the day walking and thinking. Every time she thought she could be mistaken, she remembered that Joseph and Ada had shared a kiss. It was likely they took it further. That was the only explanation she would accept. Otherwise, she had just destroyed any chance she had in a relationship with Joseph. He had looked devastated. Victoria rationalized with herself that it was a look of guilt. They could never be together now. He would have to do the honorable thing and marry Ada.

  When the hour grew late, Miss Jenny excused herself and went to bed. Victoria was about to leave as well when Mr. Rockford spoke.

  “You owe Joseph an apology.”

  Victoria sat there seething. She took several deep breaths, trying to control her anger. She had no quarrel with Uncle Rock.

  “Do you disagree?”

  Victoria sat there with eyes diverted and finally shook her head to reply yes.

  “You are mistaken, Victoria.”

  Victoria looked up and glared at Uncle Rock between scrunched eyes.

  “You can wipe that look off your face. I have just returned and there will be no hostility. It is time you grew up and start taking responsibility for your emotions.”

  Victoria stood and was about to leave the room.

  “Sit down!” Boomed Uncle Rock.

  Victoria sat and the anger she had felt quickly changed to sadness. She had longed for his presence for months and no
w she was being a spoiled brat.

  “Please forgive me, Uncle Rock.”

  “You are forgiven. Now. You need to take all emotions out of the situation and think logically. Would Ada be showing this early if Joseph had relations with her late December?”

  Victoria pondered the question for a few minutes before replying. “No.”

  “Did you notice how she seemed to glow with delight with the attention Robert was giving her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why are you trying to destroy your relationship with Joseph?”

  Reality began to sink in. She had done just that. Unknowingly she had been looking for a reason not to marry. While she wanted to marry Joseph, she felt Joseph would never agree to a marriage without children. He was better off with someone else. She could not have another child that she could not bond with. It would break her heart beyond repair.

  “I cannot risk having a child. I cannot be with anyone.”

  “Who is in control?”

  “I am not going there. I know who is in control and I do not care. I just cannot. I will not risk having another child.”

  “So you believe God's plan is for you to have another child.”

  Victoria closed her eyes. Was he trying to trick her? She did not want to trust God with this and wanted, needed to be in control. Her mind could not take it.

  “I do not care what his plan is for me. I do not want any more children.”

  “We will talk about this more during the week. For now it is best we both get some much needed rest.”

  Victoria left without a word and went straight to her room. Without changing to her nightdress, she flung herself onto her bed and pulled the quilt that was draped over the end of the bed over her. Tears pooled in her eyes briefly before she blocked her emotions. She just could not give in.

  The week went by and there was no opportunity for Uncle Rock and Victoria to talk. Victoria was relieved. It provided her with time to harden her heart. She began thinking through all of her options including leaving because she would not be bullied into having children. Joseph was at the house daily reviewing with Uncle Rock the plans for the home for the next six months and she made a point to avoid him as much as possible. He only needed to stay a little longer to fulfill his initial obligation and she wondered if he would leave at that point.

  / / /

  Sunday morning brought dreary skies. As they made their way to church they could see smoke lingering in the distance. None spoke, but all assumed that someone's home or business had burned down in the night. All was quiet in the church as they waited for services to begin. Pastor Mary solemnly made his way to the front foregoing the traditional entrance hymn.

  “Thank you all for coming out this morning. As you all noticed as you made your way in that there was a fire last night. It was the orphanage.”

  Gasps were heard and then frantic whispers.

  “We have been asked along with the other churches if each family would take on the care of one child until they are able to rebuild. It was a miracle that no one was hurt. I am sorry that there is no time for you to think about this. The children need a place to stay tonight. If I can see a show of hands from each household that feels they can help it would be greatly appreciated.”

  Mr. Rockford was the first to raise his hand and Victoria gasped in disbelief. How dare he. Slowly each family raised their hand.

  “I am thankful you are all so willing. After services if one adult member of each family group can stay, we will report to the Mayor's office and assign a child for you to take home. Then this evening you will be expected to return to the church to collect the child.”

  That evening Mr. Rockford returned home with an infant male. The child had been left at the orphanage by his teenage mother shortly after giving birth only four months ago. She indicated that she could not care for herself much less a child. Miss Jenny took the child as soon as Uncle Rock entered into the parlor and cradled him in her arms. Victoria glared at Uncle Rock for accepting an infant and stormed out of the room. She would not care for this child. He could not make her.

  Miss Jenny and Uncle Rock agreed it would be best to have the child sleep in Miss Jenny's room. She made a makeshift crib on the floor using a large laundry basket and small quilt. The child was mild tempered and barely made a sound. It took only a few minutes for Miss Jenny to rock the child to sleep. After placing the child in the new crib, she crawled into bed but sleep did not come swiftly as she listened intently to the soft breath of the child.

  Two weeks had gone by and they had yet to decide on a name for the boy. While they understood why the orphanage wanted to wait to have the new parents name the child, it felt odd calling him baby all the time. Uncle Rock and Miss Jenny pondered many names, but could not agree. They even tried several times to get Victoria's input, but she avoided all of them as much as possible even eating her meals in her room. She spent the rest of her time at the home, but as far away as possible from Joseph.

  Victoria woke before dawn to the sounds of a raging thunderstorm. She grimaced at the thought of being stuck at home all day, but new she would have to make the best of it. Donning her robe she made her way to the kitchen to make coffee. As quietly as she could she put on a pot of water and then sliced herself some bread for toast. Halfway through eating, she heard soft cries coming from Miss Jenny's room. Ignoring the crying child, she continued to eat certain that Miss Jenny would wake shortly and tend to him. Victoria tried for several minutes to ignore the crying, but concern for Miss Jenny propelled her to her feet. Victoria tapped lightly and let herself in. Miss Jenny was sleeping restlessly with sweat dripping down her face and the child thrashing about in his makeshift crib. Uncle Rock entered the room moments later and silently assessed the situation.

  “Victoria, I need you to take the child and tend to its needs. I will check on Miss Jenny.”

  Victoria hesitated.

  “Victoria, please. I need you to do this for me.”

  She nodded silently, walked over to the child, bent down, and gently picked him up. His cries lessened with the act and Victoria's confidence boosted enough to allow her to care for him. After bringing the child to the bathroom to clean him up, finding his diaper soaked through and skin slightly red, she left him uncovered for several minutes before securing a new diaper and shirt. He giggled softly when she picked him back up bringing a smile to her face. After feeding him some milk from a bottle, she placed him on the floor on top of a blanket and began to fix breakfast.

  “Victoria, thank you for caring for the baby. The doctor will be here later in the day to check on Miss Jenny. I believe she has a case of influenza. It is best that only one of us care for her. She drank some water before falling back to sleep. I need you to take care of the child. It will be a several days before Miss Jenny is back on her feet.”

  “Can the doctor check on the child while he is here?” The last thing Victoria wanted was for the child to be sick as well.

  “Certainly.”

  Victoria finished cooking breakfast and then served herself and Uncle Rock. They ate in near silence. The only sound was the child cooing.

  The doctor arrived that evening and gave the child a clean bill of health. Unfortunately, Miss Jenny did have influenza and it would take several days for her to recover. Uncle Rock informed Victoria that she would have to continue to care for the child and he would care for Miss Jenny. While Victoria was not thrilled with the idea, she cared too much for Uncle Rock and Miss Jenny to object. After gathering the make shift crib from Miss Jenny's room while the child slept on a blanket in the parlor, she brought the crib outside and soaped down the basket, washed the quilt and hung it out to dry. Uncle Rock kept watch while drinking his evening coffee and reading his bible. Victoria was thankful that Uncle Rock was always near so she never had to be completely alone with the child. The day went by quickly and before dark, she gathered the basket and blanket and set up the crib in her room.

  Later that ev
ening Victoria reluctantly bid Uncle Rock good night and gathered the child into her arms. The child was content as she paced about in the confines of her bedroom until she felt tired and her arms weak. After gently placing the child in his crib, she climbed into bed fully dressed. She knew that she had situated the crib where she could see the child when she looked over the left side, but she was not ready to look down yet. Lying on her back, she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling for several heartbeats. Knowing she needed to check on the child, she turned and looked down. The child smiled at her and stared into her eyes. They were such lovely dark gray eyes, a striking contrast to the soft yellow hued skin. His long lashes fluttered a few times as they continued to stare at each other before sleep claimed him. Victoria looked on for a while at the sleeping child before rolling over to get more comfortable. In a whisper she prayed. “Lord, I know I have been fighting you with this. How can you bring this child into my life when I am so vulnerable? I am not ready to raise a child even if it is only for a few months. I know I have to care for him until Miss Jenny is better. I ask for your guiding hand. I ask that I do not lose my heart to this child. I am not ready and I do not want this. Healing prayers for Miss Jenny and thanksgiving for Uncle Rock. Amen.”

  / / /

  Victoria sat on the floor in the parlor playing with baby Hugh. After the first week of caring for him, she decided he needed a name. By the time Miss Jenny was strong enough to care for the infant; Victoria had bonded with the child. She cried herself to sleep the night she first realized that she did not know what she would do when they took the child back. No longer could she imagine a life without children. Although she was still scared that her hormones might cause issues again if she were to have her own child, she knew she would have to give those fears to the Lord if she were to ever have a life with Joseph. Hugh giggled as she played pick-a-boo with him. His laughter brightened her day and she thanked God for not answering her prayers. She certainly had lost her heart to the baby.

  “How is Hugh this morning?”

  Hugh giggled in reply to Uncle Rock.

  “I never imagined it could be like this Uncle Rock. Thank you for insisting we care for him. The sermon last Sunday talked about seeking Jesus's forgiveness. Why do we seek out his forgiveness? I understand seeking out forgiveness from the people we have hurt. I need to ask Joseph to forgive me. I am just not sure of the importance of seeking Jesus's forgiveness.”

  “He died for our sins. Every time we sin, we are saying his sacrifice did not mean anything.”

  “I never thought about it that way. Thank you Uncle Rock. Can we go visit Joseph soon?”

  “In a few days. I want to give Miss Jenny a little more time to re-energize. I am sure she would like to visit as well.”