Harlequin Presents--April 2021--Box Set 2 of 2

by Dani Collins

  Finn choked back an incredulous laugh. ‘Not enough? Then I’ll double it.’

  Her gaze continued to hold his with unnerving intensity. ‘I’m not talking about the money, Finn.’

  He looked at her blankly for a moment. If it wasn’t about money, then what was it about? ‘Since when is a business deal not about money?’

  ‘I don’t just want to be your partner in business.’

  A prickly sensation crawled across his scalp. ‘Then what do you want?’

  Twin pools of colour formed in her cheeks, but her eyes lost none of their unwavering focus. ‘I want to be someone important to you.’

  ‘You are important to me,’ Finn said. ‘I’ve offered you a deal that would be the envy of most people in our field.’

  ‘But why did you offer it to me?’

  ‘I told you before—I don’t want to lose you.’ He scraped a hand through his hair and added, ‘You’ll be a valuable asset to me.’

  A hard look came into her eyes. ‘And what happens once our fling is over? Will I still be an asset to you then?’

  ‘Of course. Our involvement ending doesn’t change that. Why should it? This is purely a business decision.’

  She gave a hollow laugh, her expression cynical. ‘You still don’t get it, do you? You talk about your business decisions, but you won’t talk about your feelings.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll talk about my feelings,’ Finn said. ‘I feel insulted you aren’t jumping at the chance to come on board with me. You complain about spending years pushed to the sidelines by your father, with your talent withering on the vine, and here I am offering you a deal to die for and you’re deliberating.’

  Zoey walked a little further away, her arms going across her body. ‘I don’t think I can work with you once our fling is over. It will be too...awkward.’

  ‘Why? We’re both mature adults, Zoey. We’re not teenagers who can’t regulate their emotions.’

  She flicked him a glance over her shoulder. ‘I think it’s best if we end it now before it gets any more complicated.’

  Finn stared at her for a speechless moment. End it? Now? The prickly sensation on his scalp moved down the length of his spine and down the backs of his legs. He wanted to move towards her but couldn’t get his legs to work. He wanted to insist she change her mind, to beg her to reconsider...but then he realised he would be demeaning himself in pleading with her to stay with him.

  His days of begging and pleading with anyone were well and truly over.

  ‘Okay, we’ll end it if that’s what you want,’ Finn said, trying not to think about what that would look like, how it would feel to see her and not be involved with her. ‘But the directorship offer is still on the table.’

  Zoey turned to face him, her expression difficult to read. ‘I can’t accept it, Finn. I can’t work with you.’

  He frowned so hard his forehead hurt. ‘You work brilliantly with me. Hasn’t the last few days shown you that? We make a great team, Zoey, you know we do. Why would you walk away from that?’

  ‘I’ll call Leo Frascatelli and tell him I’m handing the account over to you,’ Zoey said. ‘I’ll find another job somewhere and—’

  ‘Do you want me to beg? Is that what you want?’ Finn said through tight lips. Never had he felt so out of balance. So out of kilter. So desperate, and yet so desperate not to show it. Emotions he didn’t know he possessed reared up inside him, clamouring for an outlet. Hurt, grief, despair...loneliness at the thought of losing her. Of not seeing her every day, of not making love to her.

  ‘No, Finn, what I want is for you to feel about me the way I feel about you.’

  Finn approached her and, unpeeling her arms from around her body, took her hands in his. He searched her face for a moment, his thoughts in a tangled knot. ‘Are you saying you...?’ He didn’t want to say the word because he couldn’t say it back. He had never told anyone he loved them, not since he was a child. And look how his love had been rewarded back then—with abandonment. Brutal abandonment. Loving someone to that degree gave them the power to hurt you, to leave you, to destroy you.

  ‘I used to think I hated you,’ Zoey said. ‘But, after getting to know you more, I realised I was actually quite similar to you in some ways. That’s why I was so confident I could have a fling with you without involving my feelings—but I was wrong, so very wrong.’

  ‘Zoey...’ He took an unsteady breath. ‘Look, you know I care about you. I enjoy being with you. But I’m not willing to commit to anything more. We agreed on the terms—a fling for as long as we both wanted it.’

  ‘But I don’t want it now.’ She pulled out of his hold and stepped back. ‘There’s no point continuing a relationship that isn’t working for me.’

  ‘How is it not working?’ Finn asked. ‘We’ve just spent five wonderful days together and you say it’s not working?’

  ‘I’m not talking about the sex. It’s been perfect in every way, but one day that will come to an end, because that’s how your casual flings work. You don’t commit in the long-term, you don’t want it to be for ever. But casual and uncommitted isn’t enough for me any more. I can’t be with you knowing you’ll end it when someone else catches your attention.’

  No one had captured Finn’s attention like Zoey. No one. And he wondered if they ever would. But she was asking too much. Long-term commitment wasn’t in his skill set. He no longer had the commitment gene. He had erased it from his system. He didn’t want to feel so deeply about someone that he would promise to spend the rest of his days with them, always wondering if they would walk away without a backward glance. He strode away a couple of steps, his hand rubbing at the corded tension in the back of his neck.

  ‘What did you think I was proposing last night over dinner?’ He gave a bark of cynical laughter. ‘Marriage?’

  Zoey let out a long sigh. ‘You know, I did for a moment think you were considering something a little longer term between us. You’ve been so wonderful to me over the last few days, so attentive and, yes, loving, even if you don’t want to call it by that name. I wondered if you were falling in love with me, rather than just being in lust with me.’

  ‘Marriage was never and will never be on the table.’

  ‘Which is why we have to end this now. I want for ever, Finn. Is it unreasonable to want someone to love me for a lifetime? I want a man to commit solely to me. To love me and treasure me, not just as a sexual partner but as a life partner. I want a partner in life, not just a partner in bed or in business.’

  ‘The latter two are the only ones I can offer. Take it or leave it.’

  Zoey hugged her arms around her body. ‘You told me a while back when we were talking about my dad it was pointless to expect someone to change if they weren’t capable of it. So, I’m going to take your advice—I’m not going to waste any more of my life hoping you’ll change because I’ll get even more hurt in the end.’

  How like her to throw his own words back at him, Finn thought. Words he had lived by for years and which he’d found perfectly reasonable. But now they contained an irony that cut to the quick. Stinging him in a way he never expected to be stung. He was losing her on both counts—she wanted to end their fling and she was rejecting his business proposal.

  It was a novel experience for him, being on the other end of a break-up. The one who was left, not the one who was doing the leaving. That hadn’t happened since he’d been a kid. But he refused to show her how much it affected him, how much it disappointed and riled him to have the tables turned. ‘If you want to end our involvement, then end it. But you’re making a big mistake in walking away from the chance to be in business with me. I won’t be offering it again if you suddenly change your mind.’

  The determined light came back into her eyes. ‘I won’t change my mind.’ She turned and began to gather her things together.

  ‘What are you doing?
’

  ‘I’m packing. I’ll make my own way back to London.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Zoey,’ Finn said. ‘There’s no need for such histrionics. I’ve booked our flight for eleven a.m. You don’t need to rush off now.’

  She folded an article of clothing and held it against her stomach. ‘I think it’s best we make a clean break of things, starting now.’

  He wanted to stop her. To convince her to rethink her decision, to have just a few more hours with her before they went their separate ways. But the words were stuck in the back of his throat, blocked behind a wall of pride. ‘Have it your way, then.’ Finn shrugged himself into a shirt and shoved his feet into his shoes and made his way to the door.

  ‘Aren’t you going to say goodbye?’ Zoey asked.

  Finn gave her a cutting look. ‘I just did.’ And he walked out and closed the door behind him with a resounding click.

  * * *

  Zoey bit down on her lower lip until she thought it would bleed. How could she have thought it would be any different between them? Finn was never going to change, just like her ex had refused to change. And she would be a fool to live in hope Finn would one day develop feelings for her. How many years would she have to wait? One? Two? Seven? Ten?

  It was better this way, better for her to make a new start, to put her lost hopes and dreams behind her and forge her own way forward.

  Finn was angry at her for not accepting his offer but that came out of his arrogance in believing she couldn’t resist any terms he presented her. She could resist. She had to resist, otherwise she would be reverting to old habits. Her old self had toed the line, adapted, lived in hope but been too afraid to embrace her own agency. Too afraid to voice her needs and instead had kept them locked inside.

  But Zoey was no longer that person. She had morphed into a person who took charge of her own destiny, who openly stated her needs and was prepared to live with the consequences if they failed to be met. She would no longer stay with a man in the hope of happy-ever-after. And certainly not a man like Finn who didn’t even believe in the concept of a once-in-a-lifetime love.

  Zoey packed and was out the door and in a taxi within half an hour. It was no surprise Finn didn’t return to the villa and try and beg her to change her mind, but she was heartbroken all the same. All her life she had yearned to be loved, to be treasured and valued, and now she had been denied it yet again. By the one man with whom she thought she could be truly happy.

  * * *

  ‘You were right,’ Zoey said to Ivy and Millie a few days later when they caught up for coffee. ‘I fell in love with Finn.’

  Ivy and Millie leaned forward in their chairs. ‘And?’ They spoke in unison, hopeful expressions on their faces.

  Zoey shook her head and sighed. ‘And nothing. I broke things off.’

  ‘Oh, hon, I’m so sorry,’ Ivy said. ‘What happened?’

  ‘He doesn’t feel the same way and I was too stupid to realise it. I thought he was about to propose to me over dinner on our last night in Monte Carlo but he was only offering me a business deal.’

  Millie’s eyes rounded. ‘A business deal? Oh, Zoey, I really feel for you. Under different circumstances that would have been so good. I don’t suppose you accepted?’

  Zoey screwed up her face. ‘I can’t possibly work with him now. Can you imagine how hard it would be to see him every day? To hear other staff talking about his latest squeeze in the tea room?’ She picked up her latte from the table in front of them. ‘I’m looking for a job elsewhere.’

  ‘But what about the account you were working on with him?’ Millie asked. ‘The Frasca whatsit?’

  ‘Frascatelli,’ Zoey said. ‘I forfeited it to Finn.’

  ‘I know how upsetting it is to be in your position—we both do, don’t we, Millie? But was that wise?’ Ivy asked. ‘You wanted that project so badly.’

  ‘Maybe not wise, but necessary,’ Zoey said with another sigh. ‘I never thought I’d fall for anyone the way I’ve fallen for Finn. He’s the only man I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with but he’s dead set against commitment.’

  ‘But he committed to you during your fling, didn’t he?’ Millie asked. ‘I mean, it was exclusive between you, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, I insisted on that,’ Zoey said. ‘And, what’s more, I trusted him implicitly.’

  ‘Well, it shows he can commit,’ Ivy put in. ‘But maybe he needs more time to realise what he feels for you. You’ve had a bit of a whirlwind affair. Maybe he hasn’t yet come to terms with how he feels. Commitment-shy men can be a bit slow to realise how they feel.’

  But how long would she have to wait? Years, as she’d waited for her father to change? She was done with waiting, wishing and hoping for change. ‘Finn treated me with the utmost respect and consideration. I know this sounds strange, but I felt like he was growing to love me, you know? That’s why I thought he was going to pop the question. God, I feel like such an idiot now.’ She groaned. ‘How can a man make love to you so beautifully and not care about you in some way?’

  ‘I wish I could say it will all work out in the end like it did for Millie and I,’ Ivy said. ‘But that’s probably not all that helpful to you now, while you’re hurting so much.’

  ‘Has he contacted you since you came back from Monte Carlo?’ Millie asked.

  ‘A text message to inform me of the meetings he’s having with the Brackenfield staff,’ Zoey said. ‘No doubt he’s going to fire half of them and not feel even a twinge of conscience about it.’

  ‘The deal Finn offered you,’ Millie said. ‘Surely he wouldn’t have offered it to you unless he didn’t think you’d be an asset to the company? It’s a huge compliment to you. I just wonder if you’re being a bit hasty in rejecting it out of hand.’

  ‘But he only wants me to be an invisible director,’ Zoey said. ‘My name won’t be on the letterhead—he told me so. I’ve worked for ten years for the Brackenfield name and now it’s going to completely disappear, swallowed up by him.’

  ‘You can’t talk him into a compromise?’ Millie ventured.

  Zoey drained her coffee before answering. ‘Finn O’Connell doesn’t know the meaning of the word.’ And her days of compromising were well and truly over.

  * * *

  Zoey called in on her father on her way back from coffee with the girls to find him halfway through a bottle of wine. And it wasn’t his first. There was an empty bottle on the bench.

  He held up a glass, swaying slightly on his feet. ‘Have a drink to celebrate my retirement.’

  ‘Dad, I’m not here to celebrate anything,’ Zoey said. ‘I’m here to tell you I won’t see you again unless the next time it’s in a rehab clinic. Your choice—the drink or me.’

  He frowned, as if he couldn’t process what she was saying. He scratched his head and frowned. ‘But you always visit me.’

  ‘I know, and it’s going to stop,’ Zoey said. ‘For years I’ve visited you, I’ve had countless lunches or dinners with you, I cover for you, I make excuses for you—and what have I got in return? You continue to drink and embarrass me. Not only that, you sold out on me to Finn O’Connell. I waited for years for you to promote me, to allow me to reach my potential, but you never did. Why am I so unimportant to you?’

  He put the glass down, a frown still wrinkling his brow. ‘You’re not unimportant...’

  ‘But the drink is more important,’ Zoey said. ‘You wanted a son. You’ve made no secret of that and instead you got me. And I tried to be the best daughter I could be but it’s not enough. I’m not enough for you.’ Just as she hadn’t been enough for her ex. And as she wasn’t enough for Finn, and how that hurt way more than anything.

  ‘You are enough for me...’ Her father looked at her with bloodshot eyes, his voice trembling. ‘When I lost your mother...’ His hand shook as he rubbed at his u
nshaven face. ‘I kept thinking I might lose you too. I—I found it hard to be close to you after that. I seem to lose everyone I care about. I know I always carry on about wanting a son but that was the way I was brought up. A son to carry on the family name was my dream, but when your mother died, well, that dream was shattered. And when Linda left me a few months ago I began to drink to numb my feelings. I lost interest in everything. Work was just a burden. I couldn’t wait to offload the company.’

  So, Finn had been right about her father, Zoey thought. He had told her that her dad was most likely protecting himself from further hurt after losing her mother. Was that what Finn was doing too? Protecting himself after the rejection of his parents’ love? Strange that he would have such insight into her father but not have it into himself. Or maybe he did have it but just didn’t love her. She had been a convenient fling partner but not someone he loved enough to spend the rest of his life with her in marriage.

  ‘Will you promise to get help?’ Zoey asked her father, determined not to back down.

  He gave a stuttering sigh. ‘I’ve made promises before and never kept them...’ He winced as if in deep pain and added, ‘But if it means losing you...’

  Tears began to roll down his face and Zoey went to him and hugged him, fighting tears herself.

  It would be a long journey but at least her father had taken the first painful step.

  CHAPTER TEN

  FINN IMMERSED HIMSELF in work over the next four weeks to distract himself from Zoey’s decision to end their fling. But the endless meetings with the Brackenfield staff were a constant reminder of her. He found it hard to decide on who to keep and who to let go. His emotions kept getting in the way.

  Yes, his emotions, those pesky things he never allowed anywhere near a business decision. He offered generous redundancy packages to some, far more generous than they probably deserved. But he kept thinking of Zoey, how she saw the staff as people beyond their desks, people with families and loved ones and worries and stresses to deal with in their personal lives.