“Then I guess you better behave,” I replied, as he pulled back, peering down at me.
“I will chain your ass to me, Brat. You hear me? I will handcuff you to me before I ever have to send cadaver dogs down this mountain to find you. You’re my fucking world, and that will never change, nor has it,” he promised, searching my face. “You and me, we’re forever.”
“You don’t get me back that easily, Saint. You broke me, and all I ever did was try to protect you. You left me in a storage container for Carleigh and Lucas to torture, and then you left with the bitch that strung me up in my home. Now that you know the truth, you know I never did anything out of malice or to hurt you. You can’t say the same. You wanted me to feel helpless, but I already knew how those women felt. You wanted me to know what had run through their minds as they sat in the dark, cold pit of despair. My entire life has been a never-ending pit of agony that I couldn’t escape. I saved myself, and the one person I wished would come back to me? He did, but he didn’t come back to save me. You came back to punish me.”
“I did that,” he admitted, swallowing hard while holding my gaze. “I also forced you into heat and bred you. I left you unprotected to go with the children to ensure everything possible was done to save them. I assumed Lucas was your friend, and my only fear was that he’d free you so that you could run from me. I left Carleigh here to ensure that didn’t happen, and she hurt you. That’s on me, and I fully take that blame. I’m not sorry that we’re going to have a baby, Brae. I’ve dreamed of this since the moment I knew you were mine. I can’t be sorry for being this happy that you’re having my baby.”
“Shut up,” I groaned, hating that I wanted to hit him and kiss him at the same time.
“You’re not happy about the baby,” he stated.
“I’m having your baby. I’ve only ever wanted your baby, Saint. I can’t be mad about her. I want her, and I want you. I just don’t know how we’ll ever get past this or how to move on from here,” I admitted. “I don’t foresee me forgiving you or the pack for what happened. I turned you down when you asked me to run away because of my obligation to the pack. I couldn’t just leave them behind because my father didn’t care if they lived or died. He only cared about the power that came with holding the pack and their strength against the outside world. I wanted to run away with you. I wanted to leave this place and be with you more than I wanted air to reach my lungs. I stayed for them, and the first time someone accused me of something, they throw dirt on my face and turn their backs on me.”
“Before I came to get you, I made sure the pack knew that I had fucked up. I told them it was on me, not you. That you were the same woman who worked beside them and always made certain they were taken care of and protected. You sacrificed your world for theirs, and that is selfless as fuck, Brae. You’re a good person, and I’m not. I am a monster who enjoys dishing out punishment to other monsters. I don’t deserve someone like you, and I’m fully aware that when I touch you, I do it with blood on my hands. That doesn’t change that you’re the one creature in the world that was hand-selected to be mine. I will get you back, and I don’t care if it takes an eternity to do so.”
I swallowed, slowly shaking my head. Turning away from Saint, I paused. My attention slid back to him, taking in the pain burning in his gaze while he stood waiting for me to acknowledge his words.
“I look forward to it. No matter what happens, Saint, you’re my monster. As I said, I don’t know where this goes, but I’m done running from it. Now, there’s a room filled with people waiting to hear how sick my father really was. Let’s not leave them waiting any longer. I’m fucking starving, and I intend to take the longest bath that I’ve ever taken in my life. After I’ve eaten something that isn’t covered in grease or ordered from a takeout menu,” I stated.
“I’ll have someone grab you something to eat from the kitchen, and I’ll personally run your bath and tend to you myself,” he smirked with a sparkle in his eyes.
Entering the bedroom, I paused at the people who leaned against the kitchenette’s counter or the other state-of-the-art appliances Saint had installed in our rooms. My eyes landed on Tora, who pushed off the wall and approached me.
“My father tortured me,” I told her plainly, not sugar-coating it. “He murdered my mother for carrying another daughter. He saw it as a failure to produce an heir to the pack. He realized his mistake after he’d taken her heart. I became his focus. I am a female descendant of the wolf god Fenrir and would eventually be of an age to breed an heir. It started soon after he’d murdered her. He groomed me, but I had the pack around me. I knew he was evil and that he was a monster. I hadn’t known how much of a monster he was, but when I failed to break, he increased his efforts, revealing the depths of his black heart. As a female to the bloodline, I was protected from rape, as are all of our species’ females. If I didn’t agree to him violating me, then he couldn’t. When I reached the age that I could reproduce, he increased his efforts to break me, and that’s when Lucas entered the game as another of my torturers.” I paused, watching the tears roll down Toralei’s cheeks.
“I was set on fire when I refused to let him breed me, but his beta put me out. The second time I had all the flesh of my body removed, except for my face. It took a long time to heal, and the pack noted my absence. Harold got more creative and became crazed with the need to break me. I felt the connection to Saint, and our bond came online. Harold found out, even though we were careful to hide it from him. When he discovered that I was going to mate with Saint, he removed my uterus and proceeded to try to breed it outside of my body.”
“Fucking hell,” Eryx growled, the men echoing his anger.
His startling blue eyes held mine, and he trembled visibly with rage and pain for what I’d endured. Xavier exhaled and shook his head before dragging his hand over his mouth. Xari stared at me, her eyes holding tears that slowly escaped. She wiped at them, deflating. Leif listened, with pain filling his gaze, but there was a calmness to him, which was terrifying because it told me it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever heard. Enzo watched me, his eyes holding mine briefly before he nodded his head gently as if he’d already known.
I blinked slowly, making a mental note to figure out how Enzo could see into someone’s soul and understand their pain. He was incredibly dark, and the shadows around him seemed to drift there, reaching for him as if he owned them.
“How did you stop it?” Xavier asked, filling the silence in the room with his question. His eyes studied my face, and I tilted my head.
“How do you know it stopped?” I returned.
“Because I’ve spent fifteen years searching for you, Braelyn,” he admitted, studying me as my eyes narrowed. “You’re Jane Doe in my file. A child I watched set on fire, skinned alive, and received one thousand cuts to your body at what I assumed was age fifteen. I have been searching for you to free you from your tormentor. I came here with Saint because I wanted your father dead, and I needed access to his personal files to locate Jane Doe. I assumed she’d died because there were no new videos. The trail to find you just vanished, and I feared you had been killed in one of his rages. Your story confirms that you are the Jane Doe in which I’ve been searching. You made him stop. What I need to know is how?”
“I unleashed my rage on him, and he almost murdered me. I revealed that I was an alpha, and I called for my wolf to help me. Unfortunately, we couldn’t just murder him. I barely lived through it, and it signed my death warrant. He became aware that I was my mother’s daughter, and when she had me, her beast followed me, protecting me. It left her unguarded.”
“Fenrir,” Leif stated, smirking at me. “You house your god inside of you. You are Fenrir’s guard and his keeper. It was never the line that your people followed. They followed the wolf god, who attaches to the soul of the purest of his original bloodline.”
“Correct, but Fenrir isn’t always with me. He goes to those who need him and those who are lost so
that he may lead them here, to his pack. It was at a time when he’d gone that I suffered the worst of my father’s abuse. When my daughter is of age, and I have grown too old to protect the pack, he will leave me to go with her. My line is blessed because he is always within it.”
“No,” Leif chuckled. “Your line is blessed because his blood runs through your veins. Your mother, she was his daughter. Your grandmother laid with Fenrir, in his true form, the kinky bitch.” He smiled as if he imagined it inside his head. “He chose your line because you’re his granddaughter, Braelyn. He fell in love with Brenhelda, but Fenrir cannot hold a human form. He is a beast, one that loved a princess who was pure and true of heart. She married her king, knowing she carried the child of the wolf god within her womb. It was why I allowed your mother to live when I found her leading her pack to the shores of the Barents Sea. She saw me, and she showed no fear as I walked up to her, fully intending to end her life. The look in her pretty Nordic stare gave me pause. She didn’t beg or plead for mercy as the others had done. Your mother looked me dead in the eye and told me to do my worst. She was the only one I couldn’t kill because I saw Fenrir within her when she looked into my eyes. I saw him in you, Braelyn. When you took the heads of the alpha females, you held your god in your eyes.”
“I didn’t know that,” I admitted, frowning as Leif smirked.
“I’m not sure your mother even knew she held the god. Brenna lost her mother at the age of sixteen when my pack and I slaughtered most of your bloodline. They’d never needed for Fenrir to defend them, and she found peace when she arrived here before the first settlers. I followed her here, but I never encroached on her territory. Your mother had earned her place and my respect.”
“Your father was a monster, and you never told me,” Toralei whispered.
Shifting my gaze to hers, I smiled tightly. “What could you have done? My father had over fifty alphas within the pack that were in league with him. If the pack had tried to defend me, they’d have slaughtered them. Telling anyone what was happening to me would have placed everyone in danger.” I reached over and squeezed Tora’s hand reassuringly. “Harold wasn’t stupid. He brought in mercenaries, and people like Carlson backed him up. Nobody could save me from the monster that had sired me. If I had told Saint, he would have tried to save me, and he would have died. If I had told you, you’d have tried to make me leave here. Harold would have slaughtered the pack, and that would have been on me.
“I saved myself because I didn’t need anyone else to do it, putting themselves in my father’s crossfire. I needed to endure until I was strong enough to take the pack by challenging Harold. He knew I was preparing a coup. That is why he gave me to Carlson. I was becoming too strong, and Carlson promised to send my father our firstborn child. Then, some asshole showed up and led a hostile takeover on the day I’d planned to murder Carlson inside our mating tent, as those outside the gates rushed in to fight anyone who stood with my father.” I stared at Saint accusingly, and he frowned.
“The men outside the gates were your father’s mercenaries. Your father and Carlson were fully aware of the little coup de grâce you had planned. I know because I spent an hour ripping one’s ribcage apart until he told me what to expect inside and what he was doing outside the gates when the celebration was about to begin. Your father prepared to ship the women and children we found in the field and others from the pack, with Carlson, as your dowry. The men you paid were murdered and left in a pile to be burned at the bottom of the mountain,” Saint stated, causing my stomach to flip-flop. “Now that everyone knows the story, my mate needs to eat and rest. If you have questions, or anything else, we will deal with it tomorrow.”
“Make sure you take your prenatal vitamins and drink some juice. You need juice because you look peckish. Don’t forget the vitamin D and B. Oh, and I’ll see about getting apples,” Toralei stated, rushing her words out as Saint smirked.
“Yes, mother,” I said teasingly, placing my hand on my belly. Tora smiled, moving closer to speak low.
“You’re right. I would have demanded we left. But we would have returned with a fucking army to murder the prick.”
“If I had stepped foot off this mountain while Harold was alive, he’d have started murdering the children. He’d have enjoyed it since they were his preferred victim. It wasn’t personal, or because I didn’t trust you, because you know I do. I loved you too much to put this burden on you. Knowing what was happening and not being able to stop it would have driven you mad. You’d have slipped up, and you would have paid for it with your life, and I couldn’t chance that or live with it. I know you inside and out, Toralei. You’re my person. You’ve been my best friend since we were kids. I couldn’t lose you, not when you helped hold me together. I knew I was strong enough and that I would refuse to break. I didn’t break, and he’s dead.”
“Okay, I concede for tonight. Where do you want me?”
“Will you make sure Chaos is okay? Have him bathed and then send him in to see me. I will eat and do the same. I’m sure he wants to be in here, but I really need to soak first because my feet are killing me.”
“Phenrys, grab her food from the kitchen we ordered. Eryx, did you get the bath salt from Jacob?” Saint asked, moving toward me, observing me. “You’re not kicking me out, Brat. You’re wasting time, and our son will be in soon because I already had someone ensure he was bathed. Tora said you were queasy when certain scents were too potent around you. I figured grubby little boys were on that list. Your food has been prepared and is on its way here, so sit down, shut up, and look cute. Any questions, woman?”
I stared at him, opening my mouth to argue as his brow hiked up in warning. “You’re fucking bossy, dick.”
“And you’re not sitting down yet, Brat.”
I huffed, doing as he’d said because my feet were killing me, and my ankles would swell if I didn’t. Being pregnant wasn’t some beautiful thing it was made out to be in the movies. It was miserable, with barfing at the worst imaginable times. Having to pee nonstop made me annoyed more often than not.
It was pathetic to enter a place and mark each bathroom just because you knew you were using it before leaving. My boobs hadn’t stopped being sensitive, and my sex drive was overactive. Not to mention, shit swelled that had never swelled before. Sleeping was becoming harder to achieve with the babe playing body slam, wolf edition, in my womb while using my ribs as a jungle gym.
Something grabbed my boot, pulling it off my foot, jarring me from my internal complaint log, and forcing my eyes up. Eryx smiled, baring his teeth as he removed my other boot, tossing them aside as the room emptied. His hands began rubbing my foot, and I moaned, widening my gaze as he massaged my aching feet.
I wasn’t sure if I should yank my feet back or let him continue because it was awkward, yet it felt terrific. He chuckled, noticing the indecision playing out on my face. After a moment, he dropped my foot and stood, staring at my round baby bump.
My lips tugged up, and his eyes narrowed as she moved, forcing my stomach to jerk around at her movement. I could sense Saint watching, too, noticing how Eryx was engrossed in our daughter moving within me.
“Give me your hand, Eryx.” His eyes lifted to lock with mine.
He hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, holding out his hand. Grabbing it, I pressed it against my belly, and his eyebrows shot up his forehead as the baby turned, making my entire stomach move as a result. Eryx laughed nervously, turning to look at Saint with wonder sparkling in his gaze.
“She’s very active,” Eryx stated, still holding his hand against my stomach. Saint moved closer, placing his hand on my belly as she wiggled, and a devastating smile spread across his full mouth.
I slid my gaze between the men, noticing that they stared at one another with something silent passing between them. They’d been held together and endured torture by the same tormentor. That kind of shit created a bond, and it went deeper than just friendship. It emb
edded itself into the soul and forged a bond that couldn’t be broken.
“What the hell you put in her? A demon?” Eryx laughed and then laughed harder as Saint growled defensively.
“Our daughter is not a demon!” I growled, offended, and both sets of eyes slid to me as if they just remembered I was in the room. “You two can bugger off. I’m going to bathe before Chaos arrives.”
“Guard the door, and make sure Chaos has been fed and is ready for bed before we get out of the bath,” Saint stated.
“You’re not bathing with me,” I grunted, shaking my head while sitting up further.
“I am, and you’re not in any position to argue,” he laughed, grabbing clothes from the closet while I remained seated, watching him move about our quarters. “Plus, you like me touching you.”
“That doesn’t mean I want you touching me,” I scoffed. Saint’s eyes sparkled with joy, and his body rippled with power. He placed one hand behind me to rest on the chair, lowering his lips to my ear.
“Who are you trying to convince here, liar? You or me, because I can smell your need, and it’s been three months since I have felt you from the inside,” he said in a rough tone that sent a rush of desire through me. “Yeah, I fucking thought so, Brat. I missed you too,” he chuckled, pulling back to look at me with hunger burning in his stare. “Now, get up unless you want me to carry you into the bathroom, strip you bare, and kiss every fucking inch of you to show you what belongs to me.”
I swallowed past the longing his words created, slowly standing. He didn’t back up or give me space. Instead, he slipped his hand around the small of my back, pulling me up against his hard body. Saint tugged me with him, ignoring Eryx, who watched us slowly walk toward the bathroom. Saint’s eyes held mine as we entered the room, sending butterflies rushing through me. He was correct in assuming I wanted him, but that didn’t mean I’d be easy to convince to just jump into bed with him. Saint had a lot of groveling to do before I would even be close to forgiving him.
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