“I told you my friend lost something important,” he exclaimed.
“Are you heading out?” Saint asked, tugging me closer to him while speaking to Cole.
“Yeah, seems Remington just opened a weapons shop with a strip club above it across from the Sanctuary. Rhys is about to have a seizure over it. He met his match in this one, and she’s aware she is untouchable. I’m only a phone call away if you need anything. I have to get back to my own club. One Van Helsing has to control his brain to run the Van Helsing Knights and keep the monsters in check. Xavier being away hasn’t gone unnoticed, and Nyota isn’t any damn help now since she’s made it her personal mission to guard Bullet Van Helsing.”
“I still can’t believe Rhys is going to be a father,” Saint grunted. “Or that his baby is going to be named Bullet just to piss him off. I almost want to meet this girl, to shake her fucking hand for having the balls to take on the Van Helsings.”
Cole snorted, hiking his pierced brow as his gaze dropped to my belly. “I got a million on him saying the same fucking thing about you, Kingsley. You two assholes go and get pretty girls, and what’s the first thing you do? Fuck it all up the moment you get the world handed to you. That shit isn’t happening to me. I’ve decided to remain a bachelor until I’m ten thousand years old.”
Saint grunted, and Cole dug into his pocket, staring at his phone. Answering it, he listened and then snorted loudly.
“Rhys, you can’t burn her shop down. She’s literally your baby momma.” He paused, holding the phone away from his ear as someone screamed on the other end. “Hey, asshole, it doesn’t matter if you claim Bullet or not. It’s your baby. You fucked Remington and made a Silversmith-Van Helsing milkshake. That’s our blood in her womb. You go after her, and Nyota will go after you as Nyx humps your god’s damn leg. Leave it alone, and I’ll handle it when I get there. Yeah, I’m with Saint Kingsley. Guess who is also going to be a daddy and has women issues up to his dick hole? Yeah, I think he wants his.” Cole paused, holding my gaze before he dropped it slowly. “It’s his mate, and she’s a pretty little thing. Yeah, he doesn’t want her handled, other than by him. We’re approaching the Blackhawks. Call in the airspace and flight number, and I’ll be home to handle Remington soon enough. Unless you can do so without starting a war? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m heading there now.” Cole hung up as the sound of helicopter blades started up.
I peered over my shoulder, staring at the airfield we were approaching as my stomach churned. Saint tightened his grip on my hand, reassuring me as he felt the nervousness rushing through me. His mouth lowered, kissing my forehead, holding me like I was something that mattered now. I didn’t understand what had changed, but it terrified me in a way that sent spiders rushing over my flesh, and my stomach turned with nausea.
“It’s okay, Brat. It’s only scary during takeoff and landing. The rest of the time, you won’t even notice we’re flying.” His words reassured me. Right up until we turned onto the airport’s runway and drove toward the Blackhawks, outfitted with military equipment.
Exiting the cars, we were ushered by men in black uniforms adorned with skulls and crosses over the front of them. Saint spoke to one man, and then we were rushed toward a helicopter that had honest to gods guns mounted on the fucker. Men loaded to the teeth helped us into the aircraft, harnessing me into a seat and placing headphones on my head as Eryx and Saint strapped in beside me on either side.
My knees bounced up and down with nervousness, and two hands landed on separate knees. Both men had placed their hands on my legs, and before I could argue it, each of them had taken my hand, holding it silently. I looked between them and then slid my eyes to the male that sat in front of the big-ass gun, who nodded his head, acknowledging me.
“I don’t think I like flying.” I hadn’t even realized I’d said it out loud until masculine laughter filled the headphones. I hoped Tora was doing better than me with Bowen in the other helicopter.
“You’ll be okay, Princess. We wouldn’t let you fly unless we trusted the pilot enough with our own lives. St. James used to fly these birds inside war zones. He can handle a little snow.”
Saint snorted, tightening his grip as the helicopter jerked and tilted. I squeezed my eyes closed, turning to bury my head against Saint’s shoulder. His scent filled me with a calmness I knew I didn’t feel because he hadn’t been lying about takeoff. It was scary, and we were tilting as the wind howled. I shivered, feeling the freezing crisp air as the helicopter continued rising into the sky. Something touched my legs, and I peered down as Eryx covered me up with a thick, wool blanket without a word. He pushed against my side as Saint leaned closer to the other, boxing me in. The fear I’d felt began crawling through me again, and it was probably a good thing they thought it was flying because I’d be hard-pressed to explain what was really causing it unless they knew. That terrified me the most.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The landing wasn’t much better than takeoff, with the Blackhawk swaying before it was firmly on the ground. Apprehension at seeing the pack and feeling the sting of their rejection fluttered through me. As the blades of the helicopter died down, Saint helped free me from the crossed seatbelt while I pulled the headphones off. Saint lowered his lips before I could stand, pressing them against mine softly while cupping my cheek.
“Welcome home, Brat,” he said, helping me up while he crouched over to exit. Before I could crawl onto my rear carefully to leave the helicopter, he had reached up and pulled me down, placing me onto my feet.
I watched the heat burning in his stare, but there was worry in his pretty blue eyes. My entire body tensed, turning to stare at the pack that waited for us outside the gates. There was no animosity, and their scents reeked of guilt and shame. My stomach flipped, and everything within me screamed to climb back into the Blackhawk and run from what I knew was coming.
Tears burned in my eyes, yet I wouldn’t let them fall. I stood stiffly, staring through the faces of the pack until my attention dropped to the boy walking toward me. Chaos shuffled on his feet, slowly moving away from the others. It took everything I had not to run to him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move.
Chaos wrapped his arms around me, pulling back when his head landed against the small bump of my belly. His eyes widened, peering up at me as the babe within responded to him. My hands balled into tight fists, closing my eyes against the emotion that churned through me.
“You’re going to have a baby, Braelyn!” he exclaimed excitedly, his hand lifting to touch my stomach.
“So I am, Chaos,” I whispered through trembling lips.
They knew. Everyone knew what had been done to me. It was evident by the show of respect that was being displayed. I wanted to run and hide, shame ripping me apart from the inside out.
I’d never wanted my pack to know what my father had done because it left my demons exposed. It left me looking wounded and not strong enough to lead the pack. Uncurling my fingers, I ruffled Chaos’s dark hair while he smiled up at me.
Chaos smiled at Saint, nodding his head before a serious look took control of his face. “You found her and kept your promise. This time, don’t lose her. She’s a whole person and shouldn’t be that easy to lose. Plus, she has another person in her belly.”
I laughed, even though it was more of a soft sob than laughter escaping my lips. Leaning down, I cupped Chao’s cheeks, placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. His hand pulled away as the babe moved, kicking against where his palm had been.
“Is he trying to escape your belly?” Chaos asked, wonder filling his eyes.
Saint grunted, studying us together. “She. Chaos, you’re getting a baby sister.”
“But I don’t want a sister. I want a brother,” he stated, frowning before he leaned closer to my belly, whispering. “I’ll still love you, though. I won’t let anything happen to you, little baby. I’ll protect you always, and always forever, even if you’re a girl.”
“What is happening?” Toralei asked, sliding in beside me. “I feel like we stepped into the Twilight Zone.”
“We made a mistake,” Saint admitted. “We’re working to remedy that and earn Brae’s respect back.”
“I’m tired,” I announced, struggling to get my hand out of his.
I didn’t give the pack the forgiveness they wanted. Moving past them, I started into the lodge, only for Xavier to step into my path. Lifting my teary gaze, I watched him search my face. He didn’t speak, but the way he looked at me made me worry.
“Are you well?” he asked, his voice thick with emotions. “I mean, are you okay?”
“I am okay,” I answered, feeling strange with the intensity in which Xavier studied me. “Are you?” I returned cautiously.
He laughed, lifting his hand to press against his heart. My attention moved to his daughter, who studied me with a look that made my emotions churn. She tugged on his arm, and his soft, worry-filled gaze slide to hers.
“Braelyn is exhausted and needs to rest, father. You should let the poor girl get refreshed from her homecoming before you pounce, asking your questions,” Xari chided, smiling tightly at me. “Welcome home, Braelyn.”
I didn’t reply, uncertain why I felt so awkward about her welcoming me back to my home. It surprised me that they were still here since the snow would make it near impossible to escape the mountain. At least, it had been, unless you could afford helicopters, and they apparently could.
Sidestepping past Xavier, we continued into the lodge with Saint’s hand against the small of my back, still carrying Chaos. While Chaos was still small enough to carry, it should have been awkward, but it was endearing to see his tiny head on his father’s shoulder, walking me to my bedroom. I started toward the hallway, but Saint grabbed my hand, nodding in the opposite direction.
“I moved us,” he informed, causing the color to drain from my face.
I shook, physically shook as nausea swirled in my stomach. My head started to shake, and my palms began to sweat. I gagged, ripping my hand away from his to back up. He watched me, running his gaze over my paleness and reaction to his words.
“I can’t,” I whispered, fighting against the memories that played through my mind. “I can’t go down there. I can’t fucking go down there!” I screamed. I moved my arms over my belly, protecting my stomach as if I feared my father would appear and ruin my child.
“I know you can’t go down there, Braelyn. I had one of the larger apartments redone and made it into a living suite for us. I remember you telling me how you hated it down there. How your father had murdered your mother in the main room, and that you felt sick being in them. I picked one of the rooms that had a view of the mountain you like. Inside the apartment is enough room for our family, Brae. Your room is empty, and I had everything moved so that you could join Chaos and me in our rooms.”
I exhaled, fighting against nausea, but I was losing that fight. Toralei stepped between Saint and my body, grabbing a trash bin as my stomach released the water and meal I’d eaten for breakfast. I grabbed it, barfing until I dry heaved. The hallway full of people paused, wincing as I loudly emptied my stomach.
“Is she okay?” Chaos asked.
“Is she?” Saint demanded, trying to get past Toralei’s frame, but she kept him away from me, allowing me to finish upheaving.
“Back off,” she snarled. “She’s had horrible morning sickness, which is a stupid name for something that happens all day long. If she so much as catches a whiff of something, she starts puking! It’s horrible,” she announced loudly. Turning back to look at me, Tora narrowed her eyes, pointedly glaring at me. “I feel like I am the only one who doesn’t know something huge. You and I, we’re going to talk when we get to your new room.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Toralei,” I whispered, fighting the tears while she watched me. “Please, not right now. I need water, food, and then a very warm bath in a tub large enough to sit.”
I hadn’t been able to even sit in the one inside our apartment. It was a small square tub that wouldn’t allow you to do more than stand. It was one of the things I’d missed most about my bedroom, that and my plush bed that hadn’t felt like lying on a slab of solid concrete.
“Fine, but I feel like I stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone, and everyone here knows what’s going on except me. I’m your person. I’m your beta and the one who has always had your back. I deserve to know whatever it is, Brae. I’m your gods damn beta!”
“I’ll tell you, but get me some water first. And you might want something strong to drink. Saint, I don’t want Chaos inside the room when I tell her. Whoever needs to hear it can be there because after I am finished telling my story, it will not ever be told again.”
Sweat trickled down my back as I handed the trash bin to Tora, who looked terrified now that I’d offered to tell her what was going on. Saint placed Chaos on his feet, his crew gathering behind him as Xavier stepped into the mix. Eryx handed me a bottle of water, and Saint sidled in beside me, allowing me to follow him silently.
I mentally prepared for what was coming. I’d never spoken about it out loud to another person. There were some things that I wouldn’t say out loud still. Images washed through my mind, but Saint grabbed my hand, squeezing it while his crew moved closer around me.
Toralei pushed her way back to my side, peering behind us with worry filling her green gaze. I hated that she would treat me like I was made of glass the moment she knew what I’d endured. The same way they all were now looking at me. As if I was something broken that needed to be handled gently when I wasn’t. I’d fought hard to hide my pain and keep the world from ever knowing how really sick my father was.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The room was filled with people, all waiting for me to speak. I’d locked myself inside the bathroom, fear spiking through me. Splashing cold water over my face, I turned off the faucet and grabbing a towel. A knock sounded, and I turned to glare at the door. Metal scraped against it, and before I could call out, Saint entered.
I backed up, shaking my head as my strength left me. “I can’t do this,” I whispered thickly, fighting to stay strong when everything was too much. Coming home was too much, and telling them the truth, after I’d fought so hard to hide my demons. “My father was a monster. He was horrible, Saint.”
“I know, Brat. I know he was.”
“Why would you tell them?” I demanded, tears trailing down my cheeks as Saint stepped closer, pulling me tightly against him. His scent flooded the bathroom, soothing the ache in my chest.
“Cole Van Helsing’s men found a video of a girl calling my name. He brought it here to see if we could help identify the victim. Her face was hidden from the camera, and she was gagged to prevent her screams from being heard. When Harold removed the hood and the gag, she screamed my name. Cole assumed I would know who it was. We use the videos to search for marks or tattoos or anything in the room we could use to identify the victims. You screamed my name repeatedly. You screamed for me as he slashed your face open. I heard your voice, and I froze. Everyone inside the room knew it was you, Brae.”
“You saw it,” I cried, hating that he’d watched my father torture me.
“We all saw it, Brae. We’ve watched your father do unspeakable things to you on many videos without ever knowing it was you. You’re one of the victims we’ve been searching for.”
“I’m not a victim!” I hissed, pushing him away.
“You are a victim. You’re also a survivor. Braelyn, you were a child when the sessions began, but you didn’t let that monster break you or your spirit even then. You kept this pack alive and placed them in front of your pain. You were fucki
ng eight years old. I failed you, Brat. I didn’t see that you were in pain. No one did except Chaos.”
“I hid it from him,” I whispered.
“You thought you did, but he saw you. Where we all failed to see beyond the mask you wore to hide, Chaos sensed you were sad. A child noticed your pain where everyone else failed you. I failed you, Braelyn. I can’t ever take that back. I don’t deserve you, and I know I fucked up.”
“So did I, Saint,” I whispered thickly, holding his stare. “My world didn’t exist without you in it, and I couldn’t protect you and the pack. My father promised me you’d be allowed to leave. I thought you were free of him. I wasn’t strong enough to protect everyone, not when I was barely able to protect myself.”
Saint nodded, pressing his lips against my forehead. “If you can’t talk about what happened, you don’t have to. I’ll clear the room out, and we will just sit in silence if that is what you need.” He lowered his hand, brushing it against my belly, and our daughter jerked beneath his touch. His hand flattened on my stomach, holding it against where her foot moved. “I’m going to guess she will be as fierce and strong as her momma.”
“As stubborn and bullheaded as her father,” I snorted as his lips jerked into a disarming smile.
“Either way, she’s ours, Brat. I can’t wait to meet her.”
A sob ripped from my lungs, and my hand moved to smother it. Saint pulled me against him, kissing the top of my head as our baby continued to kick, sensing the unrest in my emotions. I hadn’t expected an unborn child to know her mother’s feelings, but she seemed to react to every mood swing or upset I experienced.
“Gods damn, we fucked this up, didn’t we?” he asked, rubbing his nose against the shell of my ear as I laughed. “I’ll have Jacob bring you some herbs. He assured me that they’re not harmful to you or the babe. I’ll try not to smother you, but I’m going to be honest here, Braelyn. I went out of my mind when we found that raft, and the shit that went through my head? I never want to feel that helpless or scared again. I’d rather be back in that cell wondering which brand of torture I was going to endure than to know if you’re alive of dead.”
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