Grad School

by J. Castle

  “Yeah,” I said as I went to my room. I didn’t want to talk to her.

  I avoided my parents as much as I could in our small house that week, but on Saturday my mom knocked on my door. “You should invite Ethan over for dinner this weekend,” she said. “Your grandmother is bringing over a pot of her famous seafood chowder and we haven’t seen him since Thanksgiving.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said.

  “Any why not?”

  “I don’t really want to get into it. I just don’t want him to come over.”

  “Did you two have a falling out?” she pressed. “That’s too bad. He’s such a nice boy.”

  “Yeah, that is too bad,” I replied as I looked towards the ground.

  That weekend when my grandparents came over they asked about Ethan. “Where’s your nice friend?” my grandma asked.

  “He couldn’t make it,” I lied.

  “Well that’s a shame,” she said. “I wanted him to try my chowder. Maybe some other time.”

  “Yeah, some other time.”

  I hated that they wanted to talk about Ethan. It was difficult enough seeing him in class, now I had to deal my family brining him up. I tried really hard to forget about him, to not think about our close friendship, or his incredible body.

  Chapter 5

  Ethan

  It had been a few days since I had actually talked to Andy. I saw him in seminar, but we both just tried to give the other space. I had spent so much time with him since I moved to the small town of Bowington, that I didn’t really make other friends. It was my own fault, really.

  Now that I had more time to myself I started going to church again. I found a small congregation to join in the next town over. Father John, the priest, was fairly progressive, and they welcomed diverse parishioners, well, as diverse as rural New Hampshire gets, but they flew a rainbow flag out front.

  While church occupied my time on Sundays, I spent the night that I would have gone to trivia at the campus gym. The Bowington campus gym was relatively new and had a pool, hot tub, and sauna. It felt good to get back into a workout routine and to start lifting again. I was starting to feel like myself again.

  I went home to Georgia for the holidays to visit my family. It was nice to take a break from New England for a bit, especially in the winter. Of course, my father wanted to know if I had made any friends during my first semester. “So, Ethan,” he started as we were eating Christmas dinner. “Did you make any friends in Bowington yet?”

  “Well, there’s Andy,” I said. “We’re in the same program and get along alright. He’s the one who invited me over for Thanksgiving with his family.”

  “No. No. You know, friends? Girls? Have you met any girls in Bowington. You already told us about Andy.”

  “There are a couple that I am talking to,” I said, hardly believing it myself.

  “Atta’ boy! Maybe there’s hope for you yet! I was starting to worry that you and this Andy guy might be up to something.”

  That was a real crappy thing for him to say. Why was I so hopeless? Was it really that bad that I didn’t have a girlfriend? What if Andy and I were up to something’? He could be a real jerk sometimes even if he didn’t mean it.

  My fictitious answer must have put his mind at ease because he didn’t ask me anything else about girls or Andy while I was home.

  While I was away, I thought a lot about my friend back in New Hampshire and the conversation we had the last time we had hung out. I could appreciate that he wanted to make his parents happy and if being with a girl instead of me would make them happy than I couldn’t fault him for that. I was telling him the truth when I told him that my dad in Georgia would probably disown me if I had a boyfriend and I figured that maybe I should try to find a girlfriend, too. I knew that it would make my dad happy, and if he was happy my life would be easier. I wasn’t going to put much effort into this pursuit considering I was going to leave New Hampshire once I finished my masters. It wouldn’t really be fair to ask someone to uproot their entire life after having known them for such a short amount of time. But if something fell into my lap, I wasn’t going to shy away.

  ***

  When the spring semester started I wanted to apologize to Andy. I had come on too strong the last time we spoke. I never should have said that I loved him. That was unfair of me and it only put my friend in awkward position.

  He was in one of my seminars again. I didn’t say anything to him when I walked into the room and saw him sitting across the table. I waited until the class was over and he was leaving the room.

  “Hey Andy, do you have a few minutes?” I asked as he was about to leave.

  “Uh, yeah, sure,” he said uncomfortably as he looked towards the ground and rubbed the back of his neck.

  “Great! Let’s grab a coffee at the café in the library. My treat,” I offered.

  We were silent on the walk to the cafe. I ordered our drinks while he grabbed a table by the window.

  “I just wanted to apologize for the last time we spoke,” I said as I sat down. “I know I put you in a weird spot and I shouldn’t have dropped an L-bomb without knowing if you felt the same way.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry. I should be sorry for leading you on. I hadn’t realized that I was your first kiss. I never would have made a move on you.”

  “I also think that I shouldn’t worry so much about guys, and maybe try to find a girlfriend, like you’re doing. That’s what my family would want.” Andy seemed receptive to the conversation. While he was closed off at the start, I could tell he was warming up to me again. “How about we just try to be friends,” I added.

  “I think I can handle that,” Andy said, and I was happy to have my friend back.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about our breaks and the courses we were taking this semester. Andy had to get up abruptly when he realized it was almost time for dinner with his parents.

  “Hey,” I said as he was on his way out. “Let’s do trivia again. Come by beforehand and we’ll have a beer like before.”

  “You got it!” he said.

  He showed up like he used to at 7:30 and I had a cold beer ready for him. He sat on the couch and I sat in the armchair. I put the television on and it was just like the first night we hung out.

  At first, the television was a good distraction. I tried to keep my attention on the show, but the longer we sat there, the more I kept thinking about kissing Andy. I wanted his tongue in my mouth again. I wanted to jump on that couch next to him and passionately make out with him. I know I told him that I was looking for a girlfriend, but why couldn’t I do that while I still hooked up with my friend? This wouldn’t have been right. We agreed to just be friends, and if I made a move now I’m sure he would think that I didn’t really want to go to trivia and had just invited him over here to hook up.

  I tried to get him out of my mind, but as I sat there I could practically see him between my knees sucking me off. I could picture his eyes looking up at me with my member in his mouth. My cock began to swell and it twitched against my boxers. Just focus on the show. Just focus on the show. It was of no use. Before I knew it, I was completely hard and pitching a tent. I could feel my face heat with embarrassment.

  “Uh, I gotta’ go to the bathroom,” I said awkwardly. “This beer is really going right through me.” I got up, turned around quickly, and held my beer bottle in front of my crotch so Andy couldn’t see.

  “Thanks for the info,” my friend said sarcastically.

  I made it quickly down the hall and into the bathroom and made sure the door was locked. I dropped my pants, I would have dropped my boxers too, but I was already sticking straight out of the fly. I pumped some lotion into my hand and began to gently massage my cock. I closed my eyes and remembered how good Andy’s lips felt wrapped around me. I thought about how his tongue explored every inch of me and touched all the right parts. I gripped tightly and rubbed harder. I needed to hurry up or we were
going to be late for trivia. I rubbed the tip and the lotion let my fingers easily glide across it. I felt my body tense and then release as I caught my load in a tissue.

  I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and came out of the bathroom just as Andy was tying his shoes. “Jeez, what do you so long?” he asked playfully.

  “Uhh sorry about that,” I said. It felt like I had just been caught.

  “You good to go?”

  “Let me just get my shoes on,” I said.

  That night we went to trivia and walked home without any incidents. I liked spending time with Andy even if it meant I needed to keep my thoughts about him to myself.

  Chapter 6

  Andy

  I was glad that I could spend time with Ethan as just friends again. It was going to be difficult to not think about him sexually, so I ramped up my search to find a girlfriend after we talked in the café. I created profiles on three dating apps and started swiping away.

  It took a couple of days for me to match with someone I would actually want to spend time with. This first match was with a Bowington State University sophomore, Maggie. She majored in chemistry. I liked her profile for a couple of reasons. She was attractive. She had curly brown hair and soft green eyes. A lot of the other girls had pictures of themselves partying as their profile pictures, but not Maggie. She looked intelligent and her profile picture was of her wearing a white lab coat standing near some lab equipment. She agreed to meet me for a coffee on campus.

  I was nervous when I walked over to the library to meet my date. I got the impression that she was nice from our brief chat online, but this was my first date with a girl. At 22 I had never been out with a girl. I thought back to my first date with Jacob. We met through a gay dating app that was designed more for hookups than actual dates. I met him at his place and we watched a movie. We didn’t make much small talk and he quickly made the first move. My date with Maggie was going to be obviously different. What should I say? What should I ask her? I was a fish out of water.

  I tried to get to the library’s café a few minutes early, but when I walked in I saw her sitting at a table behind her laptop near the back of the room. She had a coffee cup nearby, so I figured she had already ordered. I ordered my coffee from the barista, and after it was ready walked back to meet her.

  “You’re Maggie, right?” I asked awkwardly.

  “Yup,” she said barely looking up from her laptop.

  “I-I’m Andy.” I am sure she could hear the nerves in my voice.

  “Oh!” She said sounding surprised and closed her laptop. “Sorry, I was busy finishing up a lab report. I thought I would have been done before you got here.”

  “I don’t mean to distract you from your work. We can reschedule if you want.”

  “No, no. It’s totally fine. I can finish later. Take a seat. Did you already order?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got my coffee right here,” I said as I lifted up my cup.

  “Oh, alright. I guess I can get my own.” Her tone sounded aggravated.

  “I thought you already had a coffee. I saw the cup on the table. I can go back up and get you one if you want.”

  “I’ll just get my own.” She got up and walked to the counter to order a drink. I sat at the table with her things awkwardly as I waited for her to return. She came back a few minutes later.

  “So,” I started. “Are you from New Hampshire?” I figured that was a good ice breaker.

  “Nope.”

  “And you’re studying chemistry.”

  “Yup.”

  I could feel that there wasn’t going to be any chemistry between us with these first two questions. She didn’t want to ask me any questions. Maybe her mind was distracted by her lingering deadline for her lab report?

  “Your profile said you’re a sophomore, is that right?”

  “Yup.”

  “Oh cool. I’m working on my masters.” Silence. “And you’re 19?”

  “Yup.”

  “I’m 22. My birthday is next month though.”

  “Oh, you’re going to be 23? You’re old.” She was definitely not interested in me.

  “Well I’m not that old. I’m barely four years older than you,” I laughed.

  “Nope. There is no way you and I can date. You’re too old. There is no way my parents would be happy if I told them I was dating a 23-year-old grad student.”

  “Well then, I guess we are done here.” I stood up from the table. “Nice meeting you,” I said, and I walked away.

  Too old? How could I be too old? Also, my profile said I was 22. Why would she agree to meet me if she already knew how old I was? Did she just want me to buy her a coffee? What a brat.

  I met Ethan at his place at our usual time. I knew he was trying to find a girlfriend too, so I warned him about Maggie. “I swear,” I said to him, “she is only agreeing to meet guys so they buy her coffee. If a Maggie wants to meet up with you just say no.”

  “That story is too good,” Ethan laughed. “You’re too old! Seriously though, why wouldn’t you try and date another grad student? You know, maybe someone a little more mature?”

  This wasn’t bad advice but the reason I agreed to meet Maggie was because I had hoped she was as equally inexperienced with dating as I was. At 19 how many dates could she have been on? I didn’t tell this to Ethan though. “She was hot, ok? You caught me! I was thinking with my dick instead of my head.” Maggie wasn’t really that hot. Attractive? Sure. Hot? Not really.

  “You know what might help relieve the stress of dating? Working out. You should come to gym with me later and blow of some steam.”

  “Ethan, you’ve known me for how many months now? I don’t really work out.”

  “It’ll be fine. Thursday night. You. Me. And the Gym. Maybe you’ll get better girls if we get you jacked,” he joked.

  “Whatever you say,” I agreed reluctantly.

  “Bring your bathing suit. We’ll cool off in the pool after.”

  ***

  I met Ethan at his house that Thursday night and he drove us over the to gym. I hadn’t set foot in the new gym. Even when they opened the new facility during my sophomore year of undergrad, I avoided it. Working out just isn’t my thing.

  My friend had a serious plan for us that night. I had no idea what I was in for. We started with some cardio, fifteen minutes on the stationary bike. It felt like a half hour. When we finished my heart was pounding in my chest and sweat was dripping from my head.

  “We’re done, right?” I panted as we got off the bikes.

  “Not even close. Today is leg day,” Ethan replied with a grin.

  He walked me through sets of lunges, squats, and deadlifts. I had never done anything like this before. If I wanted exercise I went for a nice walk with Buddy and maybe the occasional run. I could barely walk by the end of Ethan’s work out.

  “Alright! Let’s hit the pool!” Ethan said as we finished our last set of deadlifts.

  I slowly made my way to the locker room to change into my bathing suit. I put on my green board shorts while Ethan slipped into a slick black swim brief. I tried to not watch him as he changed but I caught a few glimpses out of the corner of my eye. He looked so confident in his choice of bathing suit. His bulge looked massive in it.

  We walked through the locker room and out onto the pool deck. Ethan jumped in with a big splash. After a few moments his head broke the surface. “Come on in! The water’s great!”

  I didn’t need to be convinced. I was still sweaty from the intense workout. I jumped in and the cold water instantly cooled me down.

  Ethan swam a couple of laps in the pool, but I just sat in the shallow end. Aside from the lifeguard on duty, we had the place to ourselves. I guess no one likes to swim on Thursday nights.

  “Want to go sit in the sauna?” Ethan asked as he swam over towards me.

  “I don’t know. I just cooled off. I don’t think I want to get all sweaty again.”

  “Come on, it’ll be good for you. I�
��m going in with or without you.”

  He got out of the pool, grabbed a towel from the shelf, and entered the sauna. Why not? I followed him and grabbed a towel from the shelf on my way. I opened the door and Ethan was sitting on his towel on the wooden bench with his swim brief on the floor. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to walk in on you like that,” I said as I closed the door and stayed outside the sauna.

  “It’s fine! Come on in!” he shouted from the other side.

  Why would he want me to be in the sauna with him while he’s naked? What was going on? I had seen my friend naked before, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. I opened the door again and walked in. I put my towel on the bench next to Ethan and sat down. He threw another ladle of water onto the hot coals. The water sizzled, and a large humid cloud filled the sauna. I began to sweat almost immediately.

  “You know,” Ethan started. “You’re really not supposed to wear clothes in the sauna.”

  “Oh!” He caught me off guard. “I’m not really familiar with sauna etiquette. I’ve never been in one before.” I stood up and dropped my board shorts and sat back down next to my friend. I leaned back against the warm wall and closed my eyes. The heat was relaxing.

  Ethan put his hand on my thigh. Was he really making a move on me in public? I didn’t say anything. It was almost too hot to talk. He gently rubbed my thigh and my member twitched. His hand was soft, and his skin felt good against mine. I tried not to, but I pictured myself between his legs again. My cock was waking up. It was getting hard. I opened my eyes and Ethan was already fully erect next to me.

  “Is this ok?” he asked.

  “Mhm,” I said as I closed my eyes again and relaxed.

  His hand moved up my shaft and he gripped me firmly. He slowly stroked up and down. I couldn’t believe I was letting him do this out in the open. At any moment someone could have walked in on us. That risk was kind of exciting. It made me harder. As he continued to massage my cock my breathing quickened.

  “Mmmm, please don’t stop,” I moaned.

  “Alright, whatever you want,” Ethan said softly.