I find the ingredients to make lasagne and even decide to take it one step further and make my own pasta. Whilst I’m working I try to focus solely on what I’m doing and push away any thoughts that try to rise away. By the time I put it into the oven I’m already starting to feel better. There’s not enough time to make bread so I use the same dough recipe as I did for the naan breads for Luc’s birthday yesterday and adapt it slightly to make it garlic bread, once that’s done I decide to make a batch of cupcakes too even though we’ve still got brownies left. I just want to be busy.
I’m so focused on what I’m doing that it takes me a minute to realise that I’m being watched. Riot is just sitting at the counter and watching me, a concerned look on his handsome features. When he realises I’ve noticed him he smiles and opens his arms. I practically fall into him.
“Are you ok, Sunshine?”
“I don’t want to leave him” I admit.
“I know. We don’t either. Trust me, not only will he not be able to stay that far away from you for as long as he was away before but we aren’t going to fucking let him this time. Especially since it’s obvious that there’s something pretty damn big going on. We don’t want to put him in any more danger though Sunshine but we won’t let him just leave us out anymore. We’re family and we fucking stick together” Riot says firmly.
“Promise?”
“I fucking swear it Everleigh” he vows and my stomach finally settles.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Thank you, Riot” I say gratefully, reaching up on my tip toes to kiss him.
“Anytime Ever, we don’t want to lose him either.”
“I get that” I say and then grin, “do you want to help me ice the cupcakes?”
“You made cupcakes, Sunshine?”
“I bake or cook when I’m worried. It helps to get me out of my head. Back home that was mostly brewing coffee or making a bowl of dry cereal since there was nothing else, here it means cupcakes” I admit.
“Rafe does that too,” he smiles, “I’d love to help you ice the cupcakes, fair warning though, I’ve never done it before.”
“It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it” I tell him and he eyes me sceptically. “Really, you’ll be fine. Besides we’re going to eat them anyway they don’t have to look pretty!” I reason.
“Alright, set me up then” he says.
I hand him an icing bag and fill one up for myself too then show him how I ice cupcakes, it’s probably completely different to how anyone else does it but it works so I’m calling it a win.
“It’s actually not that difficult once you get the hang of it.” Riot starts, “my first two were truly terrifying” he chuckles.
“The first ones are always throw away ones, like when you make pancakes. It just means we get to eat those now” I grin and him one of the cupcakes with dodgy icing.
“I like that, good thinking Dragonfly. Cheers” he grins as he nudges my cupcake with his and takes a bite. “These are pretty good, Sunshine.”
“You sound surprised?” I mock with my eyebrow raised.
“Well I am. From what you’ve said you didn’t have the groceries or facilities to make things like this before so I am surprised that you can make them so well and I don’t see a recipe book anywhere either, so you know it well enough that you can make them off the top of your head” he explains.
“I used to go to the library to escape sometimes and they had a pretty poor collection of books since it was a shitty neighbourhood but for some reason they always had a lot of cook books. I used to read them and write down the recipe’s to help me remember. I couldn’t take them home with me so that was the only way I’d be able to do it. Some recipes I’ve forgotten but my favourites have stuck with me. I also used to have home economy and I learnt the more practical skills in there” I explain.
“Always full of surprises, Sunshine. It’s pretty cool that you can still remember some of the recipe’s well enough to cook them” he compliments and I grin.
“Alright let’s get the rest of these iced. The lasagne and garlic bread should be ready any minute” I add.
“I love lasagne” Riot replies excitedly making me chuckle.
We work together in silence until all of the cupcakes are done and the lasagne is ready to come out of the oven. Once the table is set and the foods all laid out, I don’t even need to call the guys as the all appear and take their seats complimenting how good it smells. We all make quick work of the food and cupcakes, even finishing off the rest of Rafe’s brownies too. We spend the rest of the evening messing about and watching a couple of movies. I end up cuddling with each one of them but I can’t help spending a little bit more time with Atlas. None of the guys seem to mind though and although we’re trying to avoid it, there’s this cloud hanging over us, just at the periphery, none of us want to leave Atlas.
It seems that the longer that the evening wears on the less willing any of us are to separate and go to bed, which means we all end up curled up on the floor or couch and even Atlas doesn’t bother going upstairs as I put my head on his chest. Jensen leaning against my back and Cash leant against my knees.
I sleep soundly like I always do when I’m surrounded by all of my guys and only stir once when someone lays a blanket over the three of us, I briefly notice that they put one on Cash too who has slumped sideways and is now completely on the floor, before my eyes close again.
********
I snuggle deeper into whoever I’m lying on. I know I fell asleep on Atlas but whoever’s chest I’m on now doesn’t feel as wide as his and judging from the size of the person snuggled up behind me I’d guess that, that it's Atlas. I can’t really be bothered to open my eyes right now. I’m still drifting in that lovely space between asleep and awake where none of my current problems can touch me and I’m just content. If I open my eyes I’m going to have to think about the conversation I need to have with them all today and that we have to leave Atlas aswell.
I push all serious thoughts aside when a delicious scent suddenly wafts my way. My eyes pop open to see a grinning Jensen with a plate of bacon literally centimetres from my face. I yelp in surprise and the chest underneath me vibrates with a laugh as a chuckle comes from behind me. I glare up at Trick, who it turns out I’m lying on and he just grins unapologetically so I turn my glare on Atlas who just leans down and kisses the heck out of me, making my heart explode in my chest and Jensen and Trick chuckle.
“You were saying, Princess?” the smug bastard asks when he pulls back and my kissed dazed self automatically tries to follow.
“I, er. I don’t fucking know” I grumble giving up, “give me the damn bacon.”
They smirk at me but Jensen, the smart man doesn’t keep the bacon from me. I wriggle around until I’m sat up and squished in between, Trick and Atlas with Jensen sat in front of us on the floor holding up the plate of bacon to the guys. The giant mountain of bacon is reduced to nothing in minutes.
“Jensen, I need that bacon back!” Rafe calls from the kitchen and we share a wide-eyed look.
“Ever ate it all!” he calls back.
“You little shit” I say incredulously as I launch myself from between Atlas and Trick and land on top of him. I waste no time in tickling the shit out of him until he’s giggling like a little girl.
“Alright I give!” He yells between bouts of chuckles.
I stop tickling him and grin down at him proudly as the others watch still laughing. I lean down again and instead of kissing him I bite his chest leaving an indent and making him groan beneath me as I soothe the pain with my tongue before hopping up and going in search of coffee.
“What was that?” Jensen calls after me his voice filled with heated amusement.
“Payback” I smirk as I walk straight towards the coffee pot an pour a giant cup.
“Underwear is on the bed for you” Rafe smirks from the table and Atlas shoots him a curious look.
“I told him he could pick my underwear and I
’d model it for him if he made brownies” I explain chuckling.
“I like your thinking, Princess” Atlas smirks.
The guys all take a seat and I decide that before I can overthink it or talk myself out of it, to bring up the conversation. I wait until everyone is settled and nervously play with my coffee cup.
“Are you ok, Sweetheart?” Trick asks earning the attention of the others as they all look at me with concern.
“I need to talk to you guys about something” I start and they all share a look, “before this goes past the point of no return” I’m not brave enough to look at them for any length of time so my eyes dip back to the coffee cup in my hands.
“Ok, Angel” Jensen says, his voice full of understanding.
Cash grips my thigh in his hand and gives it a supportive squeeze as Luc does the same on the other side.
Come on Ever put your big girl panties on, you’ve got this. Taking a deep breath I raise my head, I need to look at them all when I say this, I need to know what their initial reaction are.
“I like you all. More than friends, every single one of you. Including Atty” I clarify just to make things abundantly clear and so there’s no confusion, now that I’m being completely honest with them. “I won’t chose between you. I can’t” I finish. There’s probably more that I should tell them but I’m so fucking nervous that’s all I manage to get out.
“Ever” Trick says seriously and I cringe. “Look at us?”
I’m not even sure when I dropped my gaze back down but I take a deep breath and look up at them all, preparing myself for the worst.
However that’s not what I get. All of them are beaming at me, massive smiles on their face’s looking at me like I just hung the fucking moon. I frown, slightly confused but I’m turned towards Cash who is smiling so wide that even his dimples have come out to play.
“You had us worried for a second there. Il mio Cuore” he chuckles before kissing me thoroughly.
“Wha-huh-erm?” I say eloquently when he pulls back.
“Sweetheart” Trick says, gaining my attention again and my eyes dart across to where he’s sat opposite me. “We all feel the same and I, we don’t mind sharing.” When I just stare at him in disbelief, he continues as he smiles, “you remember when I bought the conversation up after Winter Formal?”
I nod, unable to believe this is actually happening right now as my heart pounds in my chest.
“We were going to bring it up then. Bad timing on our part admittedly” Luc chuckles answering for Trick.
“We didn’t bring it up again because of what happened with that stalker fuck and we didn’t want you to freak out again” Trick adds.
“You’re really ok with sharing me? Because I’m warning you now, I absolutely could not share you with another woman. With each other,” I look at Riot and Rafe who grin at me, “sure but not anyone else. I know that’s incredibly unfair and selfish of me but apparently that’s who I am now” I start to ramble and force myself to snap my mouth shut.
“Baby, we don’t want anyone else” he pauses and then smirks, “well I want Riot too but no one else” he grins and I let out a slightly strangled laugh.
“We really do want this Angel, and it’s not like it’s a new concept to us. We wanted to bring it up to you, remember? We’ve probably had longer to get used to the idea than you have” Jensen adds, soothing some of my jagged edges.
“Really?”
“Fuck yes, Firecracker” Luc exclaims and kisses me when I turn to look at him.
When I turn to look at the others they’re all nodding and smiling. I feel a giant smile take over my features and my heart soars as the giant weight I’ve been carrying pretty much since that first week with them. Which seems like such a long time ago but in reality really isn’t.
My smile drops when my gaze lands on Atlas. He immediately gets up and comes around the table as Cash moves out of the way as Atlas reaches me, he pulls me into his arms and squeezes me tightly before he moves back so I can see his face.
“Princess, you have no idea how much I want to say I’m all in. I have never felt about anyone how I felt about you but I can’t come back with you guys and I don’t know when I will be able to see and speak to you again” he says, and my heart drops as several of the guys start to protest. “I’m trying ok. I’m hoping it won’t be long at all until I can safely bring you in but I don’t know for certain. Something could go wrong.”
My eyes start to fill against my permission as my heart breaks. He places his hands on my cheeks his own eyes shrouded in sadness.
“I am all yours, Princess” he vows. “I hope like hell I can bring you in, in a matter of weeks but you need to be prepared for it to be longer.”
I nod reluctantly, knowing that there’s nothing that either of us can do to change the situation and sending up a prayer to anyone that is willing to listen that everything goes according to plan and he can at least fill us in on what’s going on in a couple of weeks. For his sake and ours. None of us like knowing that he’s in a dangerous situation.
Atlas smiles sadly and kisses me sweetly pouring all of the emotion he normally hides into it and making me tear up even more. When he pulls back he leans his forehead on mine as his tattooed hands clench against me, struggling just as much as I am with this shitty situation.
“I have one question and then we’ll do this your way” Trick demands his voice controlled.
Atlas doesn’t move his forehead from mine and nods.
“Have you got back up?”
“Yes” Atlas replies immediately and being this close to his face I can tell he’s being honest.
“Good back up?” Jensen asks, none of the usual humour in his voice.
“As good as having one of you with me” Atlas grins, finally pulling back although he doesn’t loosen his grip on me. “Rage, Quinn mentioned him at the bar. He’s handling shit for me whilst I’m here. You guys are going to love him. He’s had my back like you guys have.”
“Then we owe him” Trick says, accepting that Atlas is speaking the truth.
“Can’t wait to meet him. Poor fucker putting up with you all by himself” Jensen smirks lightening the mood as Atlas throws something at him. The table quickly descends into chaos and I chuckle, determined to enjoy our last day all together and adamant that we will all be back together again soon anyway.
I give Atlas a quick kiss as he continues to pelt stuff at the others and make my way out of the kitchen and the line of fire.
I make quick work of the shower and chuckle when I see the navy blue, sheer lace, underwear that Rafe has picked out for me laid out on my bed. He’s not here so I put it on and take a couple of pictures sending them to just his cell number before I put on a low cut lose white shirt that shows the lace edges of my bra and a pair of light blue jeans. I’ve just finished doing my simple make up when there’s thundering footsteps on the stairs and Rafe practically falls into my room.
“Damn it, I missed it!” He grumbles as I stand up and his eyes rake over me appreciatively regardless of the fact I'm now full clothed.
“Sorry Big Guy. You can see later” I grin and he stalks over to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me in a way that leaves me begging for more.
“Ever!” Trick calls up the stairs, interrupting us. “We’re going on a hike. Dress warm.”
“Got it” I call back and grin up at Rafe, “later” I promise and he grins.
I grab my snow boots and giant coat and follow Rafe back downstairs.
“Do you guys have a destination in mind?” I ask as I reach the bottom of the steps.
“Yeah, there’s a waterfall about a two mile hike from here” Jensen explains.
“It’s lush in the summer, we’ll bring you out here again then” Trick adds as we all walk out the door and into the cold.
“At least we can get out of the damn door today” Riot grumbles making us chuckle.
“When are we leaving?” I ask curiously. “Can we e
ven get down the mountain?”
“Late afternoon. I don’t want to leave it too late because of getting down the mountain, they’ve cleared the road as best they can this morning but if it snows again it will have been pointless” Trick explains.
“That makes sense” I reply, refusing to let the thought of leaving bring me down again.
Atlas comes up beside me and threads our gloved fingers together, squeezing my hand.
“I forgot how hard it was to walk in snow” Jensen grumbles only five minutes in.
“That’s because you’re deliberately walking on the softer and deeper parts you jackass. If you walked on the path like the rest of us, it wouldn’t be nearly so damn hard” Luc tells him and we all laugh as Jensen pulls an exaggerated offended face.
“Well that was rude” he gasps and I can’t help giggling.
Especially when he sighs as loud as he can stomps his foot and practically sashays his way onto the wide path that the rest of us are on, where the snow is more tightly packed together and easier to walk on.
“You’re an idiot” Luc chuckles affectionately which sets me off again.
“Hey did you hear anything more from your aunt? How’re the babies?” I ask suddenly, remembering that the photo she sent threw me so badly that I forgot to reply. The guys all share a look that I don’t even bother trying to decipher before Luc turns to me.
“They’re all good, she wants to have us all over for dinner at some point” he chuckles.
“Does she realise how much you all eat?” I ask making them laugh.
“Yeah but she doesn’t mind in the slightest” he adds.
“We’ll have to do it on a spare weekend” Trick muses.
“We can introduce her to our girlfriend” Jensen grins and the guys look at him like he’s lost it but I’m too busy grinning to give a shit. “What?” he asks.
“She’s already met Ever, dumbass. Did you hit your head?” Atlas chuckles.
“Yeah but not as our girlfriend. Plus I just really wanted to say it out loud” he explains and my grin widens as the guys start to laugh.
Secrets Worth Keeping (Finding my Home Book 2) Page 31