by Leigh Lennon
“I was offered the job, but it is more of a study program, then I will work with the athletic department in rehab.”
“Athletic department? Where is the job?”
“Gonzaga.”
“I’m happy for you.” Though now it’s time to get a little more personal on my part. If this man is going to be part of my baby’s life and in turn, Jones’ life, I have to know more. “Brody, if you don’t mind me asking, are you dating anyone?”
Giving me a big smile, he answers, “Nope, haven’t found anyone that measures up.”
I don’t touch this statement. Is he talking about me? His intentions are clear and have been from the night we were together. He sees this connection and holy fuck, I do, too. “How is that possible? What’s wrong with you? From the looks of it you have everything a woman wants.” And I mean everything, I say that last part internally to myself.
“I’m just really picky. I had one serious relationship and she did a number on me.” Ah, now I feel bad for him and I want to hurt the girl that, by the look on his face, devastated him. “But you’re too overwhelming,” he says and he’s using present tense in that sentence and not past. Holy hell—I’m in trouble.
“Define picky,” I ask. I wonder if this has something to do with the way he takes charge in the bedroom, which is damn sexy.
“I’m not going to settle for just anyone and I’m not one for a one and done sort of thing, but I knew in that moment, I would take you any way I could get you.” He pauses and adds, “Still would.” He’s utterly confident with this statement, showing smoothness in his words. “Plus, you were so willing that night. You let me lead, which I found to be the cherry on the top.” Why does he have to have a smirk that is sexy as sin?
I flush again and my face is as red as a cherry now. Not saying anything, I twirl my hair, not meeting his eyes for fear of embarrassment. After he clears his throat, he says a bit too smugly, “I remember what happened when I made you blush.”
I laugh but don’t respond to him. He only continues, “Listen, Rose, we will have time to work this out—I mean you and me being parents. Just know, I’ll be by your side the whole time, in any capacity you allow me.”
I remember the real focus here is our baby and not the fact I want to fuck this man in front of me. Jones, there is Jones to think about! I can’t forget about him and for that reason, all the sexy thoughts have to wait. Pulling myself together, I say, “I’m sorry, Brody, I’m not sure what to do next, that is, with you and me.”
“If you need some suggestions…” He winks at me again. “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t joke with you right now. But I’m not going to lie, I find you even more irresistible knowing you’re carrying my baby. And Rose, I’m going to put this out there—you’re spoken for so in that way, you’re off limits, but you have to know that if for some reason you’re free, I will jump at the chance to take you and me to the next level.”
“I’m not sure how to proceed with this bit of information.” I look down at the ring with my birthstone that Jones gave me when I graduated with my bachelors. My heart aches for him, yet my body aches for the man in front of me. “I mean, if it were you, how would you react if your girlfriend was pregnant with another man’s baby?”
“I don’t know, honestly, but in your situation, you didn’t cheat on him; both of you were broken up so that does change things.” He leans forward with his elbows on his knees. “Rose, you’re special. Just know that, please. And I want you to promise to take care of our child.”
The attraction is certainly there; it is evident from my toes to my head. “That is a lot to put on me, I hope you know.”
“I know. And I wanted to come to you two nights ago to tell you before I knew about the baby; especially with the possibility of moving up here, which was a total coincidence.”
“You barely know me, Brody.”
“But I feel this attraction, and it’s not just the fact that you’re smoking hot. You’re carrying our baby. That is everything to me, even if this wasn’t planned. I hope if we have a girl, she looks like you.” He pauses and I freeze at the word we. “Now that I think about it, let her be ugly if it’s a girl.” The words our baby keeps repeating in my head. “Rose, what’d I say? You look upset. I’m sure our baby won’t be ugly. I was just joking.”
There it is again, our baby. I sit down, tearing up. He looks confused and scared.
“It’s nothing you did, it’s just sinking in. We are going to be parents. It will be our baby. I created life with a guy I don’t know and I’m going to share this baby, our baby, with him for my whole life.”
“Get to know me. You’ll find I’m a great guy.”
“I can’t promise a future with you and me, though. I can’t think about that until I speak with Jones. He will be back in two weeks. How about we get together twice a week and just hang out, go to the movies or get a bite to eat, or you can hold my hair back when I feel like puking for no reason?” I laugh.
“I don’t have much to move. I lived with a friend in Sacramento and will be staying with another close friend for a while here, until I decide where I want to live.”
“All right, then…”
He cuts me off when a large smile takes over his entire face. “I have an awesome idea, Rose, and hear me out before you say no.”
“Oh, you really know how to pitch your ideas, don’t you?” I tease as I’m trying like hell not to touch him.
“I’m leaving tomorrow. Fly down Friday after work and drive back up with me. It’ll be a great way to get to know each other better.”
My head is spinning. Brody must not know a single thing about me. Well, of course he doesn’t it. I mean, we certainly didn’t talk much that night. “Whoa, this is going too quick for me. I told you, I’m way too careful. This is something my mom might do, Emma maybe, Lila definitely, not me.”
With a puzzled look, he asks, “Oh, Jane’s sister, Lila. Yes, she’s one crazy girl.”
“And my best friend,” I clarify.
“And one crazy girl,” he says again.
“Yes, that she’s.” I laugh in agreement. “Wait, you never…” I start, knowing my best friend too well. Brody, with all his hotness, is exactly the right man that she’d be attracted to.
“Um, no, never,” he insists and that’s good considering he may be the only single guy I have ever known that hasn’t slept with Lila. “Well, it was just an idea. Offer still stands if you change your mind. I will be here by Sunday.”
The truth is that I want to see him again. It’s only Wednesday. I can’t wait that long. He’s obviously disappointed as I see his shoulders hunch but he smiles his precious smile that for some reason calms my nerves. Giving me a small hug and that signature kiss on the forehead, I try to take in his smell, which is both woodsy and musky. Inhaling his scent; I commit it to memory. “Please take care of yourself and call me for any reason.”
“Okay,” I say.
He leans down toward my stomach, putting both hands where he would expect the baby to eventually grow. “You listen up in there, little guy or little gal. This is your daddy and I love you very much already. Be kind to your mama and if you can avoid it, ease off on the morning sickness.”
Then as if he were some ninja, he leaves before I can say a word to him. Looking down at my stomach as I shut the door, I say, “Boy, little one, we sure have created quite the mess for ourselves.”
5
Brody
I’m going to be a dad. The thought doesn’t leave my overactive mind, one that has Rose and I already walking down the aisle, starting a life together. I know our night was only meant to be a one-time deal but once I was with Rose, I couldn’t stop thinking of her. She has manifested in my heart and now the night we were together has evidence of what we shared.
With Rose, my life seems complete, which sounds about as stupid and cliché as I could be. I’ve never once felt as at peace as I did that night in her arms. Surprised is not quite the word I could use
to describe what went through my head when Rose told me she was having my baby.
I’m not sure what she expected me to say. I know some guys would’ve walked away without a second thought, but my parents raised me better. I can’t get the idea of my baby being brought into this world, out of my head. This could be divine intervention with a bonus. Always wanting a family, I will do everything in my power to make Rose mine.
When Rose left the morning after the wedding, which was odd since it was her room we were in, I felt a piece of my heart leave with her. It seems so cliché to think that way but the minute my eyes met with hers as she floated down the aisle, there was an aura that pulled me to her. This is not the way a manly man talks, about floating and auras, but that’s how I knew right in that second, like an epiphany, the girl in the deep red dress was different.
She was packing her suitcase, and I could have left at any point, but she was just so easy to talk to. I laid on the bed, watching everything about Rose Hernandez, letting it sink into my memory. She was very comfortable in front of me, completely naked but getting dressed, not worrying about covering herself or going to the privacy of the bathroom.
Though she was clear she couldn’t say no to her old boyfriend, I was left with hope. As much as I wanted to give her my number, she knew how to get ahold of me in case she ever wanted to. Turning to me when she had everything ready to leave, she said, “I hate to run. I have a family breakfast at Jane’s mom’s house before we fly back to Spokane.”
I wanted her to ask me to attend but this was just a one-night stand, nothing more, though I could only hope.
Remembering these circumstances that have led me to where I’m now makes me smile, hoping it will bring me to the girl I certainly can see a forever with.
6
Rose
The next day at work is brutal. I receive a text from Brody telling me he made it to Sacramento and asking if I’m positive I won't join him. I thanked him for the invitation but told him it is just not a good time. I can’t be trapped in a car for twelve hours with him.
Shortly after hearing from Brody, I receive an email from Jones telling me he will Skype with me tonight at 7 pm. I’m always excited to see him yet my heart aches for the news I know I need to share, though I don’t plan to tell him via Skype. I want to make it work with Jones and if he can accept the challenges, he’s whom I want to share my life with. Again, he’s safe and I love him. This is all that matters.
After work, tiredness grips me like a freight train. I lie on my couch and fall asleep with the screen open until I hear, “Rose, honey! I see you! Wake up!” I rise from my sleeping position, stretching out as the sound of his voice makes me smile. Yes, this is the man I love. I have always loved him and he will take care of me. This is what I want. That’s how I’m convincing myself when he comes into better view. His dark hair is sticking up on end after a long day of raking his fingers through it. He still has on his dark-rimmed glasses, the Jones signature look, and he looks exhausted. But he looks good. Yep, this is my Jones. I know this and it makes me feel better seeing him.
“Hey, my love,” he says, looking at me. “Oh, you’re gorgeous! I have thought of nothing other than our conversation since we last talked.” Wow, he doesn’t hold back. Why does this surprise me about him after five years?
I have, too, but not in that same way, not since the news of this baby has sunk in. “Really?”
“Yes, I wanted to make some plans since I’ll see you in less than two weeks. I have some ideas.”
“Really?” I ask. “I thought we were going to discuss it when we were face to face.”
“Rose, I can’t wait,” he insists.
“Really?” I ask again.
“Rose, why are you asking the same thing over and over again? Are you having second thoughts?” his voice shaky. Then he stares at me through the screen and I know he can see fear in my eyes. Hell, I know it’s there. Jones is all I have ever known and I love him, I really do.
“No, not at all,” I try to lie.
“Rose, what’s going on?” How could I think I’d be able to keep this from him? I can’t tell Jones this over Skype. “Sweetie, you’re scaring me. Please tell me, I don’t want any surprises.”
Knowing me so well, I can’t lie any further. Even the truth by omission is not what this man that I have called my own for so long deserves. Plus, if I’m being honest, I can’t lie to save my life. I was always the one that told on myself more than I would tell on other kids. “Jones, do you remember the one-night stand at the wedding I told you about?” My fingers are tapping the side of the computer screen. If he were to see this, he would know how frightened I am.
“That is why we decided to have an open relationship during the time we were apart.” Jones seems upset I brought this up again. I really can’t help it.
“I know, but something happened that will affect us both.”
“What could’ve changed in the two weeks since we’ve talked? I thought you said it was just sex.” His voice is elevated now.
“Yes, it was, that’s all it was supposed to be.” I look down and for the first time since finding out, I feel sick to my stomach. “Jones, I’m pregnant.”
Sitting in silence for a long while, Jones finally says, “Shit, Rose, you told me you were careful.” Jones is not a man of emotion. Sure, he feels things, and deeply, but he has never flown off the handle. But in his eyes, I see something different.
“I was, but the condom, it must have been defective or broke or something.” Of course, I didn’t mention that it could have been one of the several condoms we used that night.
“You of all people should know better the chances of something like that happening.”
This is fucking getting old. I will physically take someone’s head off the next time I hear this. “It was fucking sex in the heat of the moment, not a math quiz,” I say, very rarely using that word. I internally laugh for a second because who am I kidding; I’m Justine’s kid. Any humor fades away as I see Jones and the pain on his face.
Jones is silent as he stands to pace. All I see now is his waist. I only hear him say, “Rose, I’m not sure what to do with this information. Do you really expect me to watch you raise another man’s child? You want me to marry you and do all the firsts with a baby that’s not mine?” Of course, this is preposterous. I can’t expect this from him.
I can’t help but cry, “I’m not asking you to do anything, and if you only knew how sorry I am. This was the last thing I expected but it is not the baby’s fault. I love you, though, Jones.”
“What about the biological dad? What are his thoughts?” Jones is always logical, always gathering facts, but even this situation is more volatile than his easy-going temperament can take.
This will make all the difference and will not be what he wants to hear, knowing my Jones like I do. “He wants to be involved. I mean, I thought he would just waive his rights but he won’t.”
Leaning down to see my face, he then looks down at his watch. “Rose, I can’t do this. I can’t be a part of that life. I may have to let you go.” He paces again and again and I wait for something from him, anything. I know I can’t push him. Finally, he leans down where I can see his handsome face and I see anger. “I have to go,” he says and the line goes silent and I’m left alone. I tell myself that I won’t cry but who am I kidding? With being both hormonal and with my very carefully laid out plan now out the window, I fall on the couch in tears. I wait for thirty minutes with my line open in case he comes back. When that doesn’t happen, I stomp up the stairs, both mad and disappointed. I shouldn’t be mad at Jones and yet I am. It’s not rational, or is it? When I crawl into bed, I hear an email tone ding on my cell phone. Looking down at Jones’ email, my whole-body aches as he tells me he’s expanding his commitment by three more months. I would normally think this was too convenient yet I know they had almost begged him to stay. It’s not a shocker he did it this quickly.
My chest tightens and my
throat constricts. This is a lot to take and I don’t blame him, but he’s abandoning me. Again, my thoughts don’t line up, as I understand I’m not being reasonable. Of course, he needs time. But I need compassion and comfort! “Holy hell!” I scream out loud. Throwing myself into my pillows as I cry, falling in an unexpected downward spiral. I’m feeling sorry for myself. Well, shit! I can’t have that. This is a bad situation but my life is not over. I don’t need Jones or anyone for that matter but before I know it, I have my phone in my hands and on the first ring, Brody answers.
“Rose, what’s wrong? You okay?”
I’m so fucking not okay. I’m pregnant with your baby and my boyfriend is abandoning me. Okay, so I don’t think he needs to hear all this tonight since obviously, part of this is apparent. I don’t tell him about Jones because that will give him false hope. Simply I say, “No, I’m not. Though the baby is fine. I just wanted to see if the offer to help you drive this weekend still stands. I can fly out tomorrow and I will take Monday off, too. But if I come all the way to California, I want to see my brother before we hit the road.”
His voice has changed to that of a high school kid who is bragging that he got to first base with the cheerleader. I can hear the excitement. We talk for a couple of minutes as I confirm my flight. Having it pulled up on my computer already, I’m eager to commit to this impromptu trip. As I give him the arrival time, we finish up the conversation. My next contact is my brother; I send him a text informing him that I will see him tomorrow.