Heartless

by Jennifer Sucevic

  The Hunter-induced haze surrounding me dissipates as my head snaps up and I meet Lanie’s question-filled gaze.

  She leans forward and gives me a meaningful look. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “There’s nothing,” I lie. “He stays out of my way and I do the same.”

  “How did your little study sess go?”

  “It was fine.” My gaze bounces around the room. “We got a ton accomplished.” That’s another lie. Other than him bringing me to my knees and humiliating me, nothing got done.

  “Huh.”

  I slap my hands a little too hard against my thighs and wince. “Yup. It’s all good. Nothing to worry about.” Not wanting her to delve any deeper, I swipe my phone off the bed and glance at the screen before reluctantly unfolding myself from the bed. “Brandi’s picking me up in ten minutes for shopping and lunch.”

  That announcement does exactly as it was intended and distracts my best friend from continuing her inquisition.

  “What?” Lanie barks out a disbelieving laugh. “Are you being serious?”

  “Unfortunately,” I mutter, not looking forward to the next couple of hours of my life.

  “How did you get talked into that?”

  “Dad,” I sigh as if that one-word answer is more than enough of an explanation. “It’s a favor to him.”

  Lanie’s surprise dissolves, leaving a sober expression in its wake. “How is Dean doing?”

  Unsure how to answer that complicated question, I shrug. “Okay, I guess.”

  The truth is that Dad isn’t okay. But that’s difficult to admit to myself, let alone Lanie. I don’t like thinking about the time stamp on his mortality. I know that everyone dies at some point, but it’s a different matter altogether to accept with certainty that the end looms near for someone you love.

  There are days when that’s all I can focus on and it makes me sick to my stomach. I want to curl up in a tight ball and sob. There’s no one I can talk to about this and that leaves me feeling more alone than I already am.

  A couple of days ago, I dropped by the house to see how Dad was doing. The new medication makes him nauseous and it’s difficult for him to keep food down. While I was there, he spent a lot of time in the bathroom throwing up. Afterward, he looked exhausted. When he’s not feeling good or doesn’t have the energy to get out of his recliner, it’s impossible to pretend that he’ll beat the prognosis and prove the doctors wrong.

  All of this swirls through my head as I slip my feet into my sandals. “All we can do is hope that this treatment will work.”

  Lanie nods and bites her lip before worrying it with her teeth.

  I take a step toward the door and hesitate. The thought of spending a couple hours alone with wife number three is enough to give me pause. What are we going to talk about for that long?

  “Any chance I can interest you in a free meal on Brandi?” I ask. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you tagged along.” Everyone knows that my stepmother enjoys a captive audience.

  “Yeah, I wish I could,” she says evasively, “but I’ve got this thing...”

  I spear a finger in her direction and accuse, “You, madam, are a liar.” I can’t say that I don’t blame her. If there were a way for me to get out of this, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But I made a promise to my dad and I won’t break it. No matter how painful this turns out to be.

  A smile breaks out across her face. “No, really. I have a class at two o’clock otherwise I’d come with for moral support.”

  I grumble under my breath.

  “Now…if you’re interested in coming clean and telling me what’s really going on with Hunter, maybe I’ll consider blowing off class. ’Cuz I’m pretty sure it’s not all rainbows and unicorns over there.”

  Damn. She’s much too clever for her own good.

  When I remain tight-lipped, she nods her head knowingly. “Yup, there’s definitely something going on.”

  I wave her off before vacating the room. There’s no way I’m going to discuss Hunter or the closure he’s intent on getting from me.

  Then I would have to admit how tempted I am to give in.

  Chapter Twelve

  Skye

  “ I’m so glad we could get together and do this!” Brandi gushes from across the table at Poco Loco, a local restaurant with the best Mexican food in town.

  Brandi wanted to go somewhere more upscale, but I convinced her to dine here instead. I love the food and haven’t had a chance to stop in since I’ve returned. If I’m being forced to endure her company, I should at least get a good meal out of it.

  “Yeah,” I enthuse, “me, too.” Dad owes me big time for this.

  Unexpectedly she reaches across the table and lays a perfectly manicured hand over mine. I glance down at her slim fingers and fight the urge to pull away.

  “Now that you’ve moved back home, we have a real opportunity to strengthen our bond. I want us to be close, Skye. Especially with everything that’s going on with your dad.” Emotion gathers in her baby blues as she blinks back the moisture. “Family is the most important thing and we need to stick together and support one another. Whatever you’re feeling, you can share it with me.”

  As much as I appreciate the sentiment, that’s not going to happen. Brandi and I don’t have a deep relationship. Neither one of us have ever bothered to skim beneath the surface. I can’t imagine what a heartfelt conversation between the two of us would look like. It’s impossible to get real with someone you don’t trust.

  Or even like.

  “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind,” I force myself to say.

  “Good. There aren’t many people I can talk to about this.” Her fingers tighten around my hand. “Unless you’ve gone through it, you don’t understand what it’s like to have a loved one fighting cancer. These treatments have been so difficult on your dad.” Her voice drops to a husky whisper. “I’m not sure it’s working.”

  The floor drops out from beneath me. “Why do you say that?”

  She shrugs and grows restless. “He’s lost a lot of weight. The chemo makes him really sick and last week, when they checked the numbers, they hadn’t moved.”

  “Oh.” I glance down at the table. “Maybe he needs to look at different options. What about one of the experimental studies Dad was talking about?”

  “Dr. Waterman wants to give this treatment a little more time before we move on to something else.”

  “Maybe you should talk to the doctor about the side effects he’s experiencing.” We both know that my dad doesn’t always tell them what’s going on. He doesn’t like to complain.

  Her lips tug down at the corners before she glances away. “I was already planning on going with him to his next appointment. I’ll be sure to bring it up if your dad doesn’t mention it.”

  Maybe Brandi isn’t so bad after all.

  Trust me, it’s a painful admittance.

  “This has been nice, Skye. I hope we can do it more often.” Her eyes brighten as she adds, “Your dad was so happy that we were getting together.”

  Fine, I’ll admit it. This lunch hasn’t been nearly as tortuous as I’d anticipated. Does that necessarily mean we’re going to be besties and have a standing lunch date every week?

  Nope, not a chance in hell.

  But can we get together and do this every once in a while?

  I’ll give it some serious consideration.

  “Yeah, maybe,” I say noncommittally.

  “How does next week look? Should we get something on the calendar?”

  She’s kidding, right? This woman needs to slow her roll. It’s going to take time for me to come to terms with the notion that my opinion of Brandi might not be entirely accurate.

  “Oh, um…” I glance away and try to pull a plausible excuse out of my ass. “I’d love to, but I need to see how everything goes with my classes. I’ve been slammed with homework lately.”

  I’m saved from offering further explanations when the waiter arri
ves to take our order. Once he leaves, I tense, waiting for her to pick up the thread of our previous conversation. Instead, she switches topics and drones on about the Etsy business she’s trying to get off the ground and how many orders have trickled in. I make a few noises to express my interest and it’s enough to keep her talking. A steady stream of consciousness pours from her mouth and a headache begins to brew behind my temples. Thankfully, I came prepared and have a bottle of Tylenol in my purse. There is no way I could do this again next week. Next month would be pushing it.

  The good thing about Poco Loco is that the food is always out quickly and it’s delicious. Even as we dig into our dishes, Brandi continues to yap. It’s like she’s been locked up in solitary confinement and I’m the first person she’s seen in years.

  After another five minutes, my head really begins to throb. She doesn’t ask me any questions about what’s going on in my life. Everything revolves around Brandi. I’m reminded of why I don’t like to spend too much time in her presence.

  I glance at my phone. There’s no reason we can’t wrap this lunch up in ten minutes. Then she can drive me back to campus, since she insisted on picking me up in her brand spanking new Mercedes-Benz GLE-Class. She did her best beauty queen imitation—fake wave included—as we drove down Main Street.

  “Hey,” she chirps, “isn’t that Hunter?”

  My fork pauses mid-air before crashing back to my plate with a loud clatter.

  “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I fully admit to tuning her out five minutes ago, so I’m really hoping I misheard her.

  “I said,” she annunciates loudly as if I’m hard of hearing, “isn’t that Hunter over there?”

  Nope. I refuse to accept that my ex-boyfriend is here having lunch. What are the odds?

  “Are you sure it’s him?”

  Brandi hasn’t seen him in years and admittedly, he’s changed since he used to hang out at the house. Let’s hope my stepmother’s eyesight is deteriorating and she’s mistaken.

  A gleam enters her eyes as she perks up. “Of course, I’m sure. I would know him anywhere. He was always so handsome.”

  Seriously?

  Weren’t we just conversing about her husband who is busy fighting cancer?

  Ugh.

  Not bothering to look for myself, I toss the napkin on my plate and glance around for our waiter. “Do you mind if we grab the check and get out of here?”

  “Sure.”

  Awesome.

  Every muscle that had tightened at the mention of my ex-boyfriend slowly loosens.

  “Don’t you want to say hello?” she asks.

  I give her an are-you-crazy look before slowly shaking my head. “No, I don’t.” If Brandi knew anything about me or my life, she’d know our breakup wasn’t amicable and were not friends.

  “In high school, you two were inseparable. I can’t believe that you wouldn’t want to say hello.”

  “Well, I don’t!” I snap.

  Sheesh. What’s wrong with her?

  “Oh look, he’s coming this way!” she says, voice filling with excitement.

  I groan and peer over my shoulder.

  Damn. It is him.

  His lips curve as if this was all part of his evil plan to drive me insane.

  Guess what?

  It’s working. I’m teetering on the edge as we speak.

  Before that devious smile can stretch fully across his lips, I swing around and turn my back on him. Every time I make a concerted effort to avoid Hunter, he pops up all over the place, knocking me off balance. It’s like fate or a higher power with a really bad sense of humor keeps throwing us together at the most inopportune of times. Clearly, I’m being conspired against. What other explanation is there?

  My gaze bounces around the restaurant, desperately searching for our waiter. Where the hell is that guy? This is an emergency. We need to get out of here pronto. If Brandi isn’t going to ask for our check, I’ll do it myself.

  “Hunter, hello!” My stepmother gushes enthusiastically.

  “Hi, Mrs. Sinclair,” a deep voice says from beside me.

  Reluctantly I glance up only to find myself ensnared by his gorgeous eyes. They remind me of the ocean. Deep and vast. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up drowning in them.

  “Skye.” A smirk simmers around the corners of his lips. He is so loving this. Anything that makes me uncomfortable is right up his alley. “Nice to see you.”

  “Hey,” I grunt through clenched teeth.

  Ignoring my inhospitable attitude, Brandi rises to her feet and opens her arms wide. “It’s been way too long.”

  He has no other choice but to move into my stepmother’s embrace and wrap his arms around her petite form. Brandi’s hands glide up and down his back before she pulls him closer.

  Leave it to Brandi to cop a cheap feel.

  It’s almost difficult to believe that fifteen minutes ago, I’d been thinking that this lunch hadn’t turned out so bad and I might have misjudged her.

  My mistake. She’s as awful as I’d always suspected. In one breath she’s crying about Dad having cancer and in the next, she’s feeling up my ex-boyfriend.

  It’s enough to make me sick.

  I don’t realize that a disgusted snort has escaped until Hunter twists his head toward me and catches my gaze. Humor flares to life in his eyes and my lips reluctantly quirk upward.

  Is it weird that we’re having a moment over this absurd situation?

  My heart picks up its tempo as our gazes stay locked. It’s only when Brandi untangles herself from him that I’m able to look away. Just when I think my stepmother can’t sink any lower, she reaches out and squeezes one of Hunter’s biceps.

  “My goodness, it’s certainly obvious that you’ve been hitting the weights since I last saw you.” She’s practically eating him up with her eyes and her voice has turned breathy. “Everything about you is rock hard, isn’t it?”

  Oh my God, she did not say that!

  Any goodwill that had been forged between us over lunch has gone up in flames. What the hell is wrong with this woman?

  I’m half wondering if he’s going to flirt with her in return just to get under my skin. He knows how I feel about Brandi.

  Instead, his voice remains neutral as he takes a step in retreat so they’re no longer close enough to touch. “Playing Division I athletics is like a job. Working out and taking care of my body is part of it, especially with the upcoming draft.”

  “Whatever you’re doing is working.” Her fingers flutter to the deep V of her blouse where they linger. “Keep it up.”

  I’m seconds away from gagging. The lunch I scarfed down is about to make an unexpected reappearance. And if that happens, I’m aiming directly for Brandi.

  Her eyes widen and she squeals, “Oh, you should join us! I’m sure you and Skye have a lot to catch up on.”

  What!

  Oh, hell n—

  His expression turns apologetic as he shakes his head. “Thanks for the invite, but I’m here with a couple of guys from the team.” He points to a table filled with football players on the other side of the restaurant. “I should probably get back to them.”

  “That’s too bad, maybe another time.” Brandi pouts before waving a hand at me. “I almost forgot to mention that Skye has moved back home and now attends CU.”

  “Yup,” Hunter’s gaze stays pinned to mine, “we actually have a class together this semester.”

  “You do?” Brandi says with surprise. “How fun is that? I bet it’s just like old times.”

  Is this woman bat shit crazy?

  It’s nothing like old times.

  The smile on Hunter’s face stays pasted in place, but his eyes have darkened. It’s as if the same thoughts are running through his head.

  He confirms it by saying, “That’s exactly what it feels like. Right, Skye?”

  “Yup.” Sadness fills me. Nothing could be further from the truth.

  “Hopefully the two of you can find
time to catch up soon. You were such a cute couple in high school,” she muses.

  Spending more time alone with Hunter is something I’m trying to avoid like a case of scabies.

  When neither of us respond, Brandi clears her throat. “Well, it was certainly nice seeing you again, Hunter. Don’t be such a stranger. Feel free to stop by the house any time.”

  I’m seconds away from picking up a fork and stabbing Brandi in the eye.

  “Thanks, I will. Make sure you say hello to Mr. Sinclair for me.”

  At the mention of Dad, Brandi’s expression sobers. “I’ll be sure to do that. I don’t know if Skye has mentioned it—”

  “Hunter really needs to go, Brandi.” I gesture toward his table as the waitress appears with a massive tray. “It looks like his food has just arrived.”

  My stepmother glances over to where his teammates are sitting. “Of course. We’ll have to catch up some other time.”

  “Definitely.” Hunter’s gaze bounces curiously between the two of us before he gives Brandi a polite smile and takes off.

  Once he’s gone, I collapse against my chair in relief. I want to get out of here and away from Hunter. Being around him for even a few minutes sets my nerves on edge.

  And then there’s Brandi…

  She was practically drooling. It was so embarrassing.

  “Well, that boy certainly grew up nice,” she says, interrupting my uncharitable thoughts, “I bet you’re kicking yourself for letting him get away.”

  Really?

  “I’m the one who broke up with him,” I remind.

  I’m annoyed with her but mostly with myself for thinking Brandi was anything more than what I’d always suspected. Again, I wonder what the hell my dad ever saw in her.

  Never mind, I know exactly what he saw.

  Ugh. I may puke after all. The Mexican isn’t sitting well.

  I crane my neck, searching the restaurant for our waiter. It’s as if he’s totally disappeared. Does the guy even work here anymore?

  Brandi pops a shoulder and grabs her fork before picking at the remains of her salad. “All I’m saying is that it’s a decision you probably regret.”

  There was never a time I didn’t regret it. But I keep that tidbit to myself. Brandi would never understand the kind of sacrifice I made for Hunter. There’s no way she could conceive of putting anyone else’s welfare above her own.