Once Bitten, Twice Shy

by Scarlett Jade

  The lobby was quiet except for a young receptionist. Jeremy straightened his jacket and smoothed his hair as he stepped forward. “Good evening,” he murmured. “My wife is in a room here and it was a surprise for me, a sort of scavenger hunt through the city for our anniversary. Would you please tell me which room Sasha Jones is in, please?”

  The receptionist frowned. “I'm sorry, sir but I can't do that.”

  Jeremy pouted, “Oh, but it is all part of the game we're playing. I'm supposed to find her and well, you know what happens next, I'm sure.” He winked, smiling at the now blushing girl.

  “You said it was your anniversary? How many years?”

  “Ten years of having that beauty as my bride.” Jeremy rolled his eyes skyward and sighed for dramatic effect.

  “Oh, how romantic!” The girl breathed, her dark eyes shining as she clicked something on her computer screen. “Your beautiful wife is in room two hundred nine. Shall I let her know you're coming?”

  Jeremy shook his head as he rushed for the elevator. “What, and ruin the surprise?” He blew out some slow breaths as the elevator went to the second floor and he ran out as soon as the doors slid open. Francois sat in a chair across from room two hundred nine, sipping a coffee. Jeremy smiled as he walked closer and Francois' eyes went wide. “Hello, old friend. I'm back from the dead.”

  He watched as Francois dropped the cup of brown brew and stood. “Jeremy! You're alive!”

  Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, just barely.”

  Francois' face crumpled. “You can't just waltz in there and see her.”

  Jeremy snorted and raised his fist to knock on the door. “And why not?”

  “She doesn't need the stress!” Francois whispered urgently.

  Jeremy ignored him and knocked anyway.

  Jeremy heard Sasha’s voice and he closed his eyes. All she'd said was, “Just a minute!” and he was hard as a rock. Her scent was permeating the air of the hallway and as she opened the door his mouth went dry. She was wrapped up in a robe, all hot and languid from her bath. He watched her face, keeping his casually blank. Her eyes were wide and had circles beneath them, reflecting her exhaustion. Her rose-colored lips were parted, and her breath was fast. She was also aroused and he saw awareness in her stare.

  “Jeremy,” she breathed. She leaned against the door frame. “He told me you were dead.” Tears filled her eyes and spilled over, running down her cheeks. She was shaking all over. “I must be dreaming. This has got to be a dream. God, why are you so cruel to me?”

  Francois took a step forward, but Jeremy held his hand up to stop him. “Sasha. Who told you I was dead?” He took a step toward her, pretending he knew nothing of what had occurred and he felt her shiver as he stepped closer. Sweet Sasha, how I need you.

  “Claudio. He said there was an accident…and you died. This is all a dream, isn't it? I’m losing my mind.” She turned and left him at the door.

  Jeremy calmly walked in and closed the door behind him. “Sasha, look at me,” he croaked out as he touched her for the first time, a gentle brush of her arm. She looked over her shoulder at him, her dark eyes fathomless pools of agony. “Sasha, I'm not dead. I'm as real as you are.” He pulled her to him and looked at her in confusion. “Sasha?” He couldn't pull her any closer.

  “You're not dead?” She touched his face gently. Then her mouth turned down in a frown and she slapped him so hard he saw stars before pulling away from his embrace. “You're not dead? I'm sitting here freaking out, losing my sanity thinking my baby isn't going to have a father, because its father is dead, and you’re fucking tripping around France? What the hell is wrong with you?” She stood there, robe slipping off her shoulders, chest heaving and cheeks flushed. She'd never been more beautiful.

  Jeremy opened his mouth to speak and Sasha threw her hand up. “I'm not finished. You just dropped me. All because of your bullshit, 'I'm damaged and terrible because I bit her and she was turning' spiel. Join the club, Jeremy, we‘re all fucking damaged. I love you. I’ve never stopped. Your baby loves you, and it doesn't even know you yet. But why be concerned about me? JJ was right; I was obviously just a fling. You're too fucked up to deal with loving me back. Instead of letting me turn, you fucking wiped my memories. You took away the best thing that ever happened to me. How cruel can you be? All I ever did was love you. All I ever wanted was you.” She put her hands over her face and sobbed.

  He rubbed his jaw. “Sasha. All I wanted to do was protect you.”

  She looked up, tears streaming down her face. “Good job, asshole. You failed. Instead of protecting me, you put our baby's life at risk, and mine. I didn't know I was pregnant until I was twenty eight weeks along. I had no prenatal care before then. None. What if Shrimp comes out with forty toes or something? It's your fault!” She sat down on the edge of the bed and bawled.

  “Sasha…I…” He sat down beside her on the bed, his knees shaking. “You're not bullshitting me. You're pregnant?” He touched her hand gently.

  She snatched it away and stood up. “Yes, I'm pregnant. See?”

  She dropped her robe and stood there like a damn goddess, her skin dewy from her bath and flushed from her fury. Her breasts were ripe and begging for his touch and her stomach curved out beautifully. His cock was throbbing against his jeans. He wanted to lay her back on the bed and show her just how sorry he was. I’ve been such a damn fool.

  “You're beautiful.” Jeremy rubbed his hand over his eyes. Sasha bent awkwardly to retrieve her robe. “Don't.” He touched her hip and pulled her to him.

  “Don't what?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Don't put the robe on. Don't hate me the rest of your life. Don't stop loving me. Do forgive me. Do let me show you how sorry I am. Please.” His voice was hoarse with emotion. He stroked his thumb back and forth on the curve of her hip. He looked up at her desperately, begging. “I'll do whatever it takes to regain your trust. Anything.” A tear slipped down her cheek. He stood and gently wiped it away with his thumb. “Cupcake, I'll do anything to right this wrong.” He slipped to his knees. “I'm begging you. Please. Answer me. Please.” He rested his head on her stomach. The baby kicked him. He knew he deserved it and more.

  “Get up.” Her voice was dark and demanding. “All I want to know is why? How could you leave me?”

  “Sasha, I stayed around until I couldn't take it anymore. I’ve done horrible things…things out of anger. Things out of hate. Tormenting myself, watching you every damn night. Watching you writhe on that bed at your mother's house and cry my name. I’m a depraved bastard. You have every right to hate me. Every right to tell me to leave. I'm begging you.” He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. “I'm begging you. Don't turn me away. Let me fix this.”

  “It’s just because of the baby, isn't it?” A fresh round of tears ran down her cheeks.

  “No, it's not just because of the baby. The baby is just an amazing perk. When I found out from Trevor that you remembered everything, I made the cabdriver break every fucking traffic law in Paris to get to you. Every. Fucking. One. All I could think about was you. All I wanted was to be near you. To see you and have you see me and hope that you could still see some semblance of us in this fucked up mess. I watched you walk to the restaurant so many times. You saw me, but your eyes skipped over me. It was what I thought I wanted. I was so wrong, Sasha. Please. I was wrong and I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can't live without you.” His heart was breaking at her silence.

  “Claudio knows about the baby and he plans to have me, one way or another.” Her voice was gravelly with unshed tears.

  “What?” Jeremy looked at her in shock.

  “I said, he knows about the baby, he told me you were dead and the baby was the only thing he had left. He promised me he’d never stop watching, never stop waiting to find me alone and vulnerable. I can't be with you.”

  “Sasha, please. I can keep you safe.” He stepped closer, hoping to hold her and make her see rea
son.

  “How, by wiping my memories again?”

  He froze in place and sighed. “No, I’d never do that to you again. It killed me to walk away from you, Sasha.”

  “How do you think I felt finding out I was pregnant and had no clue how I had gotten that way? To come to Paris and hear you were dead? Then for you to show up like this?” She cried harder and Jeremy bent to pick up her robe. “Here,” he said simply, handing it to her.

  “You can't stand to look at me, can you? I'm disgusting.” She cried harder. “I understand.”

  Jeremy caught the ties of her robe and pulled her into him. “Sweetheart, understand this. I’m only giving you the robe because if you don't cover yourself I’ll not be able to stop myself. You deserve more than angry sex, I’d never hurt you, not in a million years. Furthermore, I don't have a condom with me, even if I thought I had the restraint.”

  “I'm already pregnant by you, I don't think a condom is a concern.” Jeremy stared down at her beautiful face and had to force himself to tie her robe and step away.

  “Yes, cupcake, there is a concern. I’ve done many things I'm not proud of in our time apart, like I said. I won't make love to you without a condom for your safety, and for the safety of our child.”

  He watched sadly as she realized what he said. “So you've had other lovers,” she whispered, fumbling behind herself to sit down on the edge of the bed.

  “No, I've had sex with people, there was no love involved.” He moved to sit beside her on the bed and caught her hand in his. “Know this, Sasha, every time, all I could think of was you.”

  “Not that it makes it better, Jeremy. But I understand you have needs. I had some opportunities to meet other men too, but I stayed busy with my restaurant.” She ran a hand through her hair and the scent of her shampoo filled his senses. His thirst was unbearable.

  “Cupcake, I have to leave you for now.” Her face swung up and her eyes went wide.

  “Jeremy, you can't leave me, you just got here, please,” she begged.

  “I promise you, I’ll be back, I just–I need to feed, Sasha.” Standing he bent to press a kiss to her cheek. “If you'll have me, I’ll be back before the sun rises. I promise you, Francois will keep you safe, he’s dealt with many vampires. Please rest, you and our child need to sleep.”

  He stood mesmerized as she slipped her robe off her shoulder and shifted her hair back from her neck. “Feed from me,” she offered.

  “I could never...Not again.” He backed away quickly but stood transfixed as he watched her jugular pump in her lovely neck.

  Her face crumpled and he longed to hold her but he knew if he touched her again he couldn't control himself. She whispered as he touched the door knob. “Maybe one day I’ll be enough for you.”

  “Cupcake, you’ve never been the problem, I'm the one who’s never been good enough for you, and for that I'm sorry. But I’ll never stop trying to be the man you need. I’ll return if you'll have me.” Jeremy paused before opening the door, waiting for her response.

  “I'll have you,” Sasha murmured.

  He left the room, closing the door behind himself. Francois looked up at him from his post and Jeremy nodded. “Keep her safe. I’ll be back before sunrise.”

  “As long as she doesn't duck me to follow you.”

  “She won't, I told her that you know what I am and how to keep her safe.”

  Walking down the hall, he entered the elevator and rode it down. The receptionist eyed him as he hurried through the lobby and he did his best to ignore her probing stare. He stepped into the night and stared up at the almost full moon before sliding into the shadows to hunt.

  Sasha curled up in the bed and cried tears of relief. He’s not dead! We have a chance to make this work and to make us work. She cradled her belly as she cried. Oh Shrimp, you won't grow up not knowing your daddy. That's all I ever wanted. A cramp rippled through her belly and took her breath. “Ouch.”

  Shifting to her side, she wrapped herself around the pillow and blew out a breath as her tears slowed. I don't know what our relationship will be, he has to learn to trust me, and hell, I have to learn to trust him. I love him, but sometimes love isn't enough to make everything all better. He wrecked me, even though he did it with the intention that it would save me. Can I forgive that? Will I ever be able to trust him completely? She groaned and sat back up on the side of the bed.

  She paced through the room and rubbed her belly. “Damn it, Jeremy,” she whispered to the walls, which didn't respond. Sitting on the edge of the bed again she picked up the receiver and called for room service. Well this can just be fixed for the time being with ice cream and a movie.

  Half an hour later Sasha was curled up in bed with a huge bowl of ice cream watching old movies. When the characters fell in love, she cried, and when the movie ended with a happily ever after, she sobbed. This may have been a bad idea. Scraping the bottom of her bowl, she wished there was more chocolate ice cream, but it was all gone and it was too late to sit up and have a pity party any longer. I have a flight to catch in the morning. This doesn't change me leaving, she swore to herself as she placed the bowl on the nightstand and curled up in the bed, her lids heavy. Nope, doesn't change a thing.

  A gentle whisper woke her and she groggily tried to sit up. “Who's there?” she mumbled.

  “It's Jeremy, cupcake. Go back to sleep, I just wanted to let you know I'm here.” His voice rumbled through her and she shivered even in her exhaustion.

  “Don't let me go, if you hold me I’ll be safe,” she mumbled, her words punctuated with a yawn.

  She sighed in pleasure as his arms came around her and he spooned against her back. “How's that?” he asked.

  “Perfect,” she garbled out, before sleeping again. For the first night in months she slept soundly, with no nightmares and she woke feeling refreshed and content. His arms still held her close and she shifted on the bed, turning to face him. As Jeremy slept she stared at him, memorizing his features and burning them into her brain.

  Oh Jeremy, she sighed, brushing back a stray lock of dark hair from his brow, I'll always worry that something will happen and you’ll push me away to save me. I’d give anything in the world to wake up with you, just like this, for the rest of my life, but let's face it, we'll never be able to trust each other enough to let it happen. Do we just enjoy the time we have and come together every once in a while, living apart and raising our child, or do we attempt to rein each other in and live together, always fighting because the fear would remain?

  Her hand came to his cheek and she caressed his skin, shivering in spite of the war in her heart at the feel of his slight beard. I want, just once, for you to make me feel like you did before. Going against every warning her heart told her, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth and he stirred.

  “Sasha,” he whispered. “I’m so glad you let me stay.”

  She smiled and gazed at his face for a few more moments before pressing another kiss to his mouth. Tears leaked between her lashes at his touch, the emotion coursing through her body more than she could bear. “This between us, it can't happen, Jeremy,” she finally whispered.

  He shifted in the bed and sat up to stare down at her. “What do you mean?”

  Sasha smiled sadly and sat up too. She touched his hand softly and stroked his cheek again, her breath catching in her throat as he turned to press a kiss into her palm. “Jeremy, we can't pretend that nothing happened. There will always be this fear in me that you'll decide there's something I can't handle and you'll wipe my memory, or just leave. I can't bear that.”

  “What are you saying, Sasha?”

  She steeled herself against him and then gasped as a cramp shot through her belly. “Jeremy, I'm saying that I can love you, but I can't be with you.”

  She watched as his head fell and his shoulders dropped. “Sasha, please,” he begged, glancing up and beseeching with wet eyes.

  Sasha shook her head and grimaced as another pa
in rippled through her belly. “No, you gave up the right to love me when you left me with Claudio.”

  She was jostled in the bed as he jumped up and paced the floor, wearing only his jeans. Despite her mouth saying she couldn't want him, her body responded in other ways as the sunlight hit his ripped body, gilding the muscles of his chest and abs which were marred with faint bruises, she assumed they were from the accident. “Sasha,” he pleaded, “Give me another chance.”

  “No, I'm sorry. The only reason you want me is because of our child. You can see him or her, and you can be a father, but I can't bear to be broken by you again.”

  “You think it was easy for me to leave you, Sasha? To walk away from you?” He shook his head. “You're wrong, it was hell on Earth.”

  “Jeremy?” she gasped as another pain ripped through her.

  “What's wrong, are you okay?” He came to the side of the bed and she gripped the pocket of his jeans and pulled herself up, unable to bear the touch of his skin.

  “Nope. The doctor said my blood pressure was up and that I needed to see a doctor within twenty-four hours, but I’d planned on flying home right about now and figured I'd see one when I got there. Francois obviously didn't see any need to wake me up and I’m cramping. I need to see the doctor.” Sasha gritted her teeth and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “Get out of my way.”

  “Why didn't you tell me you were having pain?” Jeremy refused to move and she pressed her hand against his chest, ignoring the frisson of pleasure that shot up her arm as she pushed.

  “Um, I've been having pains since last night. They're getting harder and closer together so I think we should go to the doctor.”

  “You're joking, right?” His eyes were wide.

  “Um…no. The doctor told me to be concerned if I felt contractions closer than ten minutes apart and they'll probably just send me back here, but I think we should go check, just to be sure.”