A Family Woman

by T. B. Markinson

  “Maddie?”

  “That’s a big one.”

  I stared at a grove of trees across the street, near the oldest part of the campus. “How should we handle it?”

  “Good question. I know a significant amount of alcohol was involved—”

  “You know, if you get drunk and commit a crime, you’ll still be prosecuted for it.”

  “True, but it’s probably best not to lead with that.” Sarah sighed. I wasn’t sure whether her sigh was related to the situation or my attitude. “I think we need to talk to her, set some boundaries or something.” Her upper body shuddered as if a chill had hit her without warning. “We can’t tell her how to live her life, but lately, her actions have affected our lives.” She placed a hand on mine. “Am I being too hard on her? We’re all adults. Do we even have the right to say who she—?”

  “In the past six months, she’s slept with Courtney and Peter—both of whom are in relationships. No, you aren’t being too hard on her. She’s self-destructing before our eyes. Can’t she be normal and sign up for Tinder, sleep with strangers? It’d decrease the odds of bumping into them at family events… or at our house.”

  “How do you know about Tinder?”

  “I could ask the same of you.”

  “Please. I recently gave birth to two babies.”

  “I sorta remember that. Lots of screaming, crying, and begging. And that was before the twins arrived.”

  She slapped my hand. “Next time, you’re giving birth. See how much you like it.”

  “I think we have our hands full at the moment.”

  “Nicely done, getting out of that. Now… Maddie. Are we in agreement that we need to have a sit-down with her?”

  “Don’t see a way around it, unless you want to talk to her on your own.” I knew my tone was too hopeful, almost pleading.

  She shook her head.

  We rushed through our meals, and I dashed off, arriving one minute before my lecture.

  “Good morning.” I made my way to the front. “Sorry I’m late. Life with infant twins keeps me on my toes.”

  “That explains the puke on your shoulder,” joked one student.

  I glanced at my right shoulder and then my left.

  “Made you look.”

  I laughed. “Let’s get to it.” Several students groaned, playfully I think. At least here, within these walls, I didn’t have to deal with any type of family crap—not for a blissful one hour and fifteen minutes.

  ***

  “Lizzie, do you have a moment?” Dr. Marcel gestured for me to step inside his office.

  I settled into a plush chair. “How are you?”

  His facial muscles strained, but he responded, “Okay. You?”

  I stiffened. “Hanging in the best I can.”

  “Twins have a way of making you think you’re always drinking from the fire hose.”

  And family drama, I added mentally. “That they do.”

  He tapped a pencil on his desk and gazed out of the window that overlooked the trees I’d been staring at earlier during breakfast. “I won’t be teaching next semester, so I’m recruiting professors to take over my classes. I want you to take one.”

  “Is everything okay?” I practically whispered.

  “Had a bit of a health scare, and it’s made me come to terms with the fact that Lydia and I aren’t spring chickens anymore. I want to relax some. Enjoy life a bit more. Do you think you can manage three courses? You’d still be considered part-time, but in the fall, you’d be officially added to the department, if you want.”

  I sat up straighter. “I absolutely accept.” I paused. “But I should talk it over with Sarah.”

  “Of course. I understand.”

  “Did you have a class in mind for me?”

  He smiled wanly. “I have an idea, but we can talk about that later, after I speak with a couple of others.” Students had already registered for spring, so it wouldn’t do to yank the classes off the schedule, not without causing major headaches.

  Dr. Marcel’s eyes shone with relief. He probably suspected, as I did, that Sarah wouldn’t have any objection to me accepting the offer.

  “When are you and Sarah going to bring the twins over? I know Lydia would love to see the rug rats.”

  His desk phone rang, and he apologized with a shrug before answering, “Dr. Marcel.”

  I excused myself with a wave of the hand.

  During my PhD program, the Marcels had been like parents to me, inviting me over for most holidays. I gripped the leather handle of my briefcase and marched outside into a cloudy, gray day that became drastically grayer by the second. Only one clear patch of sky hung over Horsetooth Mountain. I stopped in my tracks, trying to remember the last day I’d gone for a hike. No time for that today. I had to start preparing for the two classes already on my schedule next semester, and pronto if I also hoped to be ready for another class.

  I walked into our kitchen to find Sarah sitting on a barstool, waving stuffed animals in front of Ollie, whose face was cherry-red from screaming.

  “Now that’s a welcome,” I said to Ollie, who hushed some. “Is Mommy ignoring you, little girl?”

  “Olivia is determined never to be ignored.” Sarah turned to me. “How was your day?”

  “Interesting. Dr. Marcel offered to bring me on board full-time in the fall.”

  “That’s wonderful. We should celebrate.” Sarah wheeled around to the drawer where we stored the takeout menus. “Thai? Chinese?”

  “There’s something else,” I said. “He wants me to teach three classes this spring.”

  Sarah’s eyes boggled. “Can you handle that much?”

  “I think so. Won’t really know until I try. I was thinking we should hire someone to help out here—cooking, cleaning, and laundry.” My entire body clenched, preparing for her response.

  “Agreed.”

  “Really? I was expecting you to put up a bit of a fight.”

  “I’d be an idiot to say I don’t need help around the house.” She jabbed a thumb at the messy kitchen. “You don’t want the person to live with us, do you?”

  “Nope. Strictly a day job. Part-time, really. Janice reached out. Her cousin will be attending CSU in the fall. She may need a job, and since Miranda is cutting back on her hours, it makes sense. Dottie wants me to keep an eye on her.”

  “We can barely keep our best friend in line. How will we manage Bailey?”

  I laughed, still feeling overwhelmed by everything, but I was with my family; that was all I needed right now. “What do you keep saying? Somehow everything will work out.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Saturday morning, I jolted awake around 4:00 a.m. to a disconcertingly quiet house. Sarah was in a deep sleep, and she didn’t stir when I got up.

  In the nursery, both babies slept peacefully. My brain whirred, ruminating over everything from teaching, Dad, Helen, Mom, Peter, Maddie, and Allen. Going back to sleep wasn’t going to happen.

  I tiptoed down the stairs, avoiding the second to last step, which always groaned in protest like an old person getting out of a chair, and camped out in my office, doing research on my laptop. Might as well get a jump start on next semester.

  Sarah padded in an hour later. “I thought I’d find you hidden in here.” I minimized the Internet window, and she squinted at the screensaver photo of Fred and Ollie that Maddie had set up for me. “Working?”

  “I was, but I started wandering.”

  “Literally or figuratively?”

  I rubbed my eyes. “I’m so tired I don’t know.” I clicked on the wireless mouse to maximize the screen again.

  “Ah, doing some sleuthing.” She perched in my lap and clicked the About Us tab on Helen’s florist website.

  “Is that bad? Stalking Helen online?”

  “Oh please! You wouldn’t even know where to begin if you wanted to be a legitimate online stalker.” Her hands flew o
ver the keyboard, and Helen’s Facebook account appeared. “If you’re curious about what Allen looks like, start here.” She moved to get up, but I wrapped my arms around her, tugging her back onto my lap.

  “Where are you going?” I kissed the nape of her neck.

  “Don’t you want to snoop in private?” She appraised my face to gauge my mood.

  “No. I obviously need you.” I peppered her neck with kisses.

  “Keep that up and I’ll stay.” She swiveled back to the laptop. “You ready?”

  “I don’t know, but…”

  Sarah clicked on the photos tab. We leaned closer to the screen. There weren’t too many photos, but I picked out her eldest son with ease. He had his mother’s kind brown eyes and mischievous smile.

  The next photo in the collection was the one I sought: a black-and-white photo of a young man who wasn’t looking at the camera full-on. He was staring at something off to the side, lost in his own thoughts, but he had Dad’s cleft chin and his nose.

  “He looks so young,” Sarah whispered as if afraid she’d break Allen’s concentration.

  “He’s still in high school. I wonder if this is his senior yearbook photo. Hard to believe he’s old enough to be an uncle.”

  “Do you think he knows?”

  I shrugged. “I hadn’t considered that Allen might not know about Peter, me, or the twins.” I massaged my forehead. “This is even more messed up than I thought.”

  Sarah scrolled down. “No photos of your dad.”

  “I didn’t think we’d find any. Not that Mom was all that clever with a computer, but better safe than sorry. Maybe once they’re married Helen may feel comfortable posting photos of Dad—old habits, though.” I chuckled. “That’s one thing we have in common—I don’t have any photos of me with Dad from my childhood either.”

  Sarah drilled her elbow into my stomach.

  Freddie stirred on the monitor. “Come on. Let’s get him before he wakes up trouble.”

  A louder cry issued from the speaker of Ollie’s monitor.

  “Too late. All hands on deck.” Sarah leaped up and stabbed out a hand to help me out of my seat, brushing her lips on my cheek when I stood. “We’ll get through everything, one day at a time.”

  On today’s agenda was our chat with Maddie.

  ***

  We dropped the twins off at Rose’s. She had a gaggle of female friends over, all of them dying to spend time with Freddie and Ollie. I was curious whether they’d still feel the same in two hours time. Not one of them was younger than fifty. I guessed it’d been years since any of them had changed a diaper. There was safety in numbers, though.

  At the door, Sarah hugged her mom. “Thanks.”

  “Good luck with Maddie. Such a shame. Love does funny things to people, I guess. She always had her ducks in a row, even after she left Peter.” Rose shook her head.

  Maddie had moved in with Rose for a brief spell after she’d called off her wedding to Peter.

  “We can’t wrap our heads around it either,” I said as we made our good-byes.

  Outside of Maddie’s apartment, I hesitated on the doorstep. “Here goes nothing” I said and knocked.

  Doug answered, shuffling one arm into a jacket. “Hey, you two. Mads is in the shower, and I’m running seriously late.” He shrugged on the other sleeve.

  We all quickly hugged hello and good-bye, and we shut the door behind him.

  “I thought he moved out a couple of months ago,” I whispered.

  “He did.”

  I shook my head and whispered again, “How does she keep track of everyone?”

  “Name tags.”

  Both Sarah and I circled around. Maddie, her hair still wet, entered the front room all smiles, with just a hint of guilt in her eyes. “What can I get you? Water? Tea? Coffee? Wine?”

  It was only ten in the morning, but I let her offer of wine slip for now. One crisis at a time. “Water works.”

  Sarah nodded.

  Maddie returned carrying a tray that supported a glass pitcher of ice water, lemon slices bobbing at the top. Sarah and I took a seat on her bluish-gray sofa. The walls in the room were a pale off-white; the apartment manager didn’t allow crazy color schemes. A stunning oil painting had once hung on the opposite wall, but all that remained was the faded outline of the frame. Often, Maddie pillaged her own apartment for things her clients might like.

  After pouring three glasses of water, Maddie settled into a plush chair, looking like a prisoner about to face a firing squad.

  “How does this work?” she asked after a minute. “You rant and rave, and I defend myself, making you yell even more, until we all end up crying and hugging it out?” She grinned, not seeming distressed, or not completely. Her inability to look me in the eyes was proof positive she wasn’t entirely at ease.

  “Can we skip the histrionics and just get to the heart of the matter?” Sarah jiggled her left leg, like a child waiting in a doctor’s office.

  “Which is?” Maddie’s tone came across somewhat defensive.

  “It starts with the letter P.” I sipped my water.

  Maddie inhaled deeply. “I know. Peter and I have talked, and it’s been put to rest.”

  “Meaning… you won’t be seeing my brother anymore?”

  She arched an eyebrow, as if to say, What business is it of yours? Then she softened. “Nope. It was a mistake. A serious mistake we both regret. And before you ask, I broke things off with Courtney. And no, Doug and I are not back together.”

  An awkward silence followed. I sensed Sarah trying to get my attention, but I avoided her eye. If she wanted me to know where to take the conversation next, I didn’t.

  “We’re concerned about you, that’s all.” Sarah meant it.

  Maddie glanced at Sarah and then at me. “I know. Me too.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I reached for Sarah’s hand, needing support.

  Maddie laughed. “You must be worried if Lizzie’s asking me to open up, but no. I think I need some time on my own to figure things out. I’m leaving tomorrow to visit my parents in California.”

  That was a relief. I didn’t have any family members outside of Colorado—at least I didn’t think I did. The way things were going, I might have another hidden family.

  “Will you be gone long?” Sarah sounded upset that Maddie didn’t want to open up to us.

  “A week or two. Haven’t really decided yet.”

  Was there a twelve-step program for people who kept sleeping with their best friends’ family members? How long would it take?

  “What about you, Lizzie? Your head must be spinning with your dad situation.”

  “It is. And then there’s Allen.”

  “Who’s Allen?”

  I was used to Maddie knowing every aspect of my life before I did, so the fact that she didn’t know about Allen suddenly worried me that the rift in our friendship was larger than I’d thought. I filled her in, with Sarah adding the details I omitted to keep me completely honest.

  When it was all out there, Maddie stared out the window at her apartment parking lot. “I’m a little jealous. Lately, I’ve felt so alone, and now you have two babies and a brother you didn’t know about, even a future stepmom. You really are lucky.”

  I followed her eyes to the half-empty parking lot. “The twins miss their Aunt Maddie. Any chance you want to come over for dinner tonight?”

  “I’d like that very much.”

  “Good, because if you said no, we’d have to drag you kicking and screaming. No matter what, you’ll always be a part of our family,” Sarah said, patting her thigh.

  “Great. Can we hug it out now?” Maddie asked, eyes glistening.

  ***

  Before I pulled the SUV away from the curb outside of Rose’s home, Sarah asked, “You’re going to do it, aren’t you?”

  I shook my head, smiling as I glanced at the twins buckled into their car seats in
the back. “That depends on what you mean. I do a lot of things every day.” I eased the car into the street and made a left onto a side street a couple of blocks from our home. If someone had told me years ago that I’d live within a seven-minute drive from my mother-in-law, I’d have laughed in their face. Now that I was the mother of twins, having Rose so near wasn’t half bad. Parenthood really altered a person’s perspective.

  Sarah, grabbing the headrest, peered into the backseat at the wide-eyed twins. “Mommy thinks she’s so funny.”

  I gazed into the rearview mirror. “Other mommy thinks she knows everything,” I told them.

  Sarah rolled her eyes at me dramatically. “You’re going to meet Allen.”

  I licked my lips. “I think so.”

  “What convinced you?”

  I pulled the car over to the curb but left the engine running. “It’s been a long time coming, I think. I was denied a family for years. It sucks, feeling so alone all the time. When I saw the forlorn look in Maddie’s eyes earlier, I realized we’d switched places somehow. When I met her, she had everything going for her. Now she’s—”

  “Lost.” Sarah’s voice transformed the word into something even sadder than those measly four letters allowed.

  “I don’t want to do that to my own children. You and”—I jerked my thumb over my shoulder—“them, you all deserve so much more. My family isn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but now they want to be a part of us, even Peter.”

  Sarah laced her fingers through the fingers of my free hand. “My gut wasn’t wrong all these years. You really are an amazing person.”

  “Meeting Allen makes me amazing?”

  “No, wanting to be the best parent you can be does.”

  “You know what makes you amazing?”

  She squeezed my fingers tighter, and her face softened. “What?”

  “Me.”

  She thumped my shoulder with a fist. “You aren’t too off the mark.”

  “Then why’d you hit me?” I sagged my shoulder, feigning a bone break.

  “Because you’re still a Petrie.”

  “So are they.” I bobbed my head to the twins in the backseat, both now slumbering sweetly.