by Janet Albert
At long last, Miranda broke away, gasping for air. "That was quite a kiss, Jamie."
"I've wanted to kiss you for so long," Jamie murmured, before she captured Miranda's mouth again. This time, she kissed her thoroughly, freeing Miranda's shirt from her jeans and running her hands over the smooth skin of her lower back. With a moan that came all the way from her toes, Jamie wrenched her mouth away. "I want you so much," she said, breathlessly, her forehead resting on Miranda's.
"Jamie, please. I can't do this." Miranda pulled out of Jamie's embrace and with trembling hands, straightened her shirt and tucked it back in. "Don't you see? I can't go home if I do this. If I make love with you, I won't be able to leave you and I need to be able to leave you."
"Why?" Jamie pleaded. "Why do you have to leave me?"
"I just do. We've known each other twenty-four days. We've been to romantic places and it's all been like a dream. Life won't be like this at home. I have to go back to my life and you have to go back to yours. You'll forget me soon enough, you'll see."
"I see, all right." Jamie faced the door and grabbed the doorknob. "I see that it's you who wants to forget me. I'm sorry we didn't meet at the right time or in the right place and I'm glad this is so easy for you, because it's killing me." Jamie slowly turned the knob and opened the cabin door. "I guess it is time we said goodbye, Miranda. Have a safe trip and a great life. I wish you the best. I thought you..." Jamie shrugged her shoulders and turned to meet Miranda's eyes one last time. "Well, I guess I was wrong." Abruptly, she turned and left.
JAMIE ALMOST RAN back to her cabin. Alicia was nowhere in sight and the room was dark. Thinking she was alone, she threw herself on her bed and sobbed. "I have to find a way to get through this. I have to," she said, pounding her fist on the bed.
"What the hell's going on out here," Alicia burst out of the bathroom and ran over to her friend. She wedged her way onto the side of the bed and sat next to Jamie.
"Why are you crying? What happened?"
"I didn't know you were here."
"I just got in and I had to pee. I didn't even turn the light on."
"It's Miranda...she...she...," Jamie cried even harder.
Alicia placed her hand on Jamie's back. "Okay, cry it all out and then we'll talk." Alicia rubbed her hand on Jamie's shoulder. She reached over to the nightstand, handed Jamie a few tissues and waited.
After a short time, Jamie sat up against the headboard. It took her a while to catch her breath and dry her tears. "It hurts so bad, Alicia."
Alicia reached out and put her hand on Jamie's arm. "What does, honey? What did she do to you this time?" She shook her head. "I told you she scares me."
"No...she's wonderful. I'm in love with her. She's the nicest person I've ever known. You've got it wrong, Alicia. She's the one who's scared."
"You're in love with her? Seriously?"
"I know...crazy, huh?"
"Well, no, it's not crazy. I just didn't expect it."
"Me either, but it's true and she's leaving tomorrow." Jamie pressed the tissues to her eyes one by one, trying to soak up the never ending flow of tears. "I finally meet someone who matters and now I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or..." Jamie closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't know how I'm going to get over her or even if I can."
"I hate to ask this, Jamie, but I take it she doesn't love you?"
"I don't think so. She admitted to being attracted to me, but that's all. She said she had to go back home and get her life together and she doesn't want any complications. I guess that's what she thinks I am...a complication."
"She didn't say she wanted to see you again?"
"No. Nothing. I gave her my phone numbers and address, but she didn't even look at it or give me any way to reach her. I'm never going to hear from her again, I know it as sure as I know my own name."
"Well, I feel sorry for her. She's a fool to pass you up. A damned fool."
"I'm the one who's a fool."
"I don't think so. Did you...I mean, have you..."
"Made love? No, we kissed and hugged, nothing more. It's not that I didn't want to. I ached to be with her, to touch her, to belong to her. That's one of the hardest things to bear about this...that I'll never have her."
"Jamie...it'll be okay, you'll see."
"No, Alicia. It'll never be okay."
Chapter Fifteen
Washington DC, ten months later.
"VAL, SET THE table, will you?" Miranda had just finished spreading a new linen tablecloth on her brand new dining room table. "Use my good dishes and the wine glasses you helped me pick out. Oh, and I bought two bottles of that cabernet we all love so much. They're out on the counter."
"Wonderful, it'll be great with the steaks," Valerie said. "I need a drink after the kind of day I've had. It's not Valentine's Day or Mother's Day, but for some unknown reason, everyone in DC wanted to send flowers today. It was crazy. What else are we having?"
"Caesar salad and baked potatoes."
"Did you buy the salad at the gourmet market?"
"Where else? I picked it up on the way home from work."
"I love that place. How was your day, by the way?" Valerie asked.
"Not bad. We were slow and steady with the usual busy work until they brought in six victims from a four car collision. One had severe head injuries, but the rest of them weren't too bad. And there's a construction site near the hospital, so we got this guy with a crushed hand."
"In other words, a fairly routine day, huh?" Valerie shook her head.
"Pretty much, Sis." Miranda laughed. "When do you expect Tommy to get here? I hope I didn't put the potatoes on too early." It was Friday evening and Miranda had invited her sister Valerie and her brotherin-law Tommy for dinner at her new home. She'd lived in it for the past nine months and these weekly dinners with them, either at their home or at hers, had been her only social life since she'd returned home from Barcelona.
"No, it'll be fine. He'll be here any minute. We'll let him grill the steaks," Valerie said. "Isn't that what husbands are good for?"
"Yeah, I suppose, that and fixing things, but I'm not the one to ask about that. Did I tell you they're starting work on the other two bathrooms tomorrow?"
"That's good. I can't wait to see how they turn out. I'm glad you're getting settled and things are going well for you. There's just one thing missing."
"Don't start that again, Sis. Not today."
"Well, why not? You need to hear it. Are you planning on spending the rest of your life holed up in this house all by yourself? All you do is work, come home and stay here by yourself. You don't date, you don't socialize. It's not normal."
"I don't have time to date. I've been busy fixing my house up. And, in case you've forgotten, I'm a doctor. I can't help it if I have to work a lot. Besides, I'm not alone all the time. I spend a lot of time with you and Tommy."
"And we're both very happy that you do, but don't you ever feel the need for some female companionship?" Valerie made a face. "Come on, you know what I mean."
"There's plenty of time for that. I..." Much to Miranda's relief, her attempt to justify her position and explain her personal choices in life, yet again, was interrupted by the doorbell. "There's Tommy, now." She ran off to the front door and let him in, grateful to be saved from her sister's lecture on how she needed a girlfriend. Lately, she'd been forced to endure it one time too many. "Hey, here's my favorite brother-inlaw." She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'm your only brother-in-law, Doc, but thanks anyway." He kissed her back.
She grabbed him by his arms and glared at him. "You're just in time to save me. Valerie's on me again about finding someone to share my life with."
"So, she's at it again, huh? Take me to her and I'll see what I can do for you." He followed Miranda into the kitchen, kissed his wife on the cheek, lifted her off the floor and spun her around. "How's my little flower girl?" Tommy had called her that ever since she'd opened her florist shop in downtown DC.
"Great. I had a very profitable day. How's my handsome lawyer?"
"Tired and starved," he grumbled. "Business law makes me hungry."
Miranda chimed in. "I should think it would ruin your appetite."
"Everything makes him hungry, Miranda, you know that. Well, you're in luck, honey. Dinner's almost ready. Take your jacket and tie off and put this apron on." Valerie flung the apron at the middle of his chest. "You're grilling the steaks."
"Why do men always have to grill?" Tommy complained as he donned the apron and tied it behind him. "Don't women know how to grill? They know how to do everything else. What happened to the days when a man came home from work, propped his feet up and read the paper while the women put his dinner on the table?"
"All those women had to go out and get jobs," Valerie countered without missing a beat. "Besides, you hate reading the paper and you told me you love to grill."
Tommy held his hands up. "Guilty as charged, my love."
"She'd make a great lawyer, don't you think, Tommy?" Miranda asked. "She's a natural." Tommy scratched his head. "She is right though, about me hating to read the paper. I can't stand the news. It's far too depressing. So how do you want the steaks cooked? Medium-rare for everyone, as usual?" He looked at them.
They both nodded.
"They'll take about fifteen minutes. Should I put them on now?"
Again, they both nodded.
"Okay, get everything else ready." Tommy picked up the platter with the steaks on it, grabbed the grill tongs and headed for the back door.
After dinner, Tommy retreated into the living room with a big slab of cake and a mug of coffee while Valerie and Miranda cleaned up.
Valerie stood in front of the sink rinsing dishes for the dishwasher. All of a sudden, she stopped right in the middle of a dinner plate and stared at Miranda's neck. "Where'd you get that necklace you've been wearing? You've worn it every time I've seen you since you got back and I don't remember you having it before you went to work for the cruise line."
"I didn't. It's from Athens."
"It's gorgeous. Did you buy it in the same place where you bought my earrings and bracelet? I know I told you this a million times, but I love them."
"I didn't buy it for myself, it was a gift." Miranda had never said anything to her sister about Jamie and she had no intention of discussing her now. With any luck, Valerie wouldn't chase the subject any further. "I think it's from the same place, though."
"A gift?" Valerie leaned forward and scrutinized the pendant as she twisted it back and forth in her fingers. "Who is this, anyway? A Greek goddess or something?"
"I don't know, but I love it." Here we go.
"It looks expensive," Valerie noted.
"It's solid gold, so I suppose it was." Valerie's questions sounded casual, but Miranda knew the questions would continue and soon they'd be anything but casual. "You don't have to look so suspicious."
"From a friend, you say?"
"You're nosey, Val, you know that?"
"I know, but I also know you're withholding information. Come on, I'm your sister. Who gave it to you?"
"Okay, if you must know, it's from a woman I met on the last ship I was on." Miranda gave in. Experience had taught her that resisting the master inquisitor was futile. Valerie would pry and prod until she dug it out of her or drove her crazy, whichever came first.
"She must have liked you a lot to buy you this. Did you like her?"
"Yes, we liked each other a lot. We didn't get along at first and it took me a while to warm up to her, but we ended up becoming good friends."
"Judging by this gift, you were more than that."
"Well, we weren't." More than a little anger clawed its way into Miranda's tone. She really didn't feel like talking about Jamie. What good would it do?
"Okay, okay, don't get mad. What's wrong with you, anyway?"
"Nothing, forget it. Let's just change the subject."
"All right, if you're going to be that touchy, but someday I want to hear every detail and don't think I'm going to forget. Speaking of the cruise ships, Eve Kincaid called. She's having a dinner party a week from Saturday and she's invited the three of us. She wants to meet you."
"Oh, I don't know, Val, do I have to go? Who's going to be there?"
"Some of the people she works with, I imagine, and some of her friends. Who else would be there? She didn't send me a copy of the guest list, Miranda. What difference does it make, anyway? You worked on her cruises and God knows, it wouldn't hurt you to get out and meet some new people. Besides, I want you to come. Please?"
"I guess I do need to get out more. I'm only going if I can go with you and Tommy. I'd rather not go by myself or meet you there."
"Okay, it's a deal. We'll all go together. She said to come around six, so we'll pick you up about five thirty.
You're not on call that night, are you?"
"No, I'm totally free that weekend. What should I wear?"
"Eve said to dress casual."
"Okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt me to go. It might be nice."
"Excellent. I was beginning to think you'd turn into a hermit one of these days. I've had horrible visions of coming over to your house and finding you dressed in a dirty robe and slippers with your hair all ratty, talking to yourself in a corner, half your teeth..."
"That's enough, I get the picture. I don't mean to alarm you, Sis, but I already talk to myself, quite a lot-out loud, too."
"Well, hell...who doesn't?" Valerie chuckled.
Chapter Sixteen
"THIS IS SOME house. It must have cost a fortune," Miranda said as they pulled up in front of a gorgeous four story brownstone in the Georgetown section of the city. She had to lean way down in the car to see all the way to the top. A huge red door was framed by an intricately carved stone arch, a larger version of the arches that framed each oversized window. Shimmering brass lamps flanked the doorway, their light casting a warm glow in the duskiness of early evening. The entire tree-lined street made her think of cobblestones, horse drawn carriages and centuries of American history.
"It's great, isn't it?" Valerie craned her neck to the right and looked up at it through the car window. "She does very well, I think."
"Does very well?" Miranda repeated. "She's probably quite wealthy. It costs a fortune to live in this part of DC."
"No doubt about it," Tommy said. "She tapped into a lucrative niche in the travel industry. It was a brilliant idea and as far as I can see, she can't lose."
"Every lesbian cruise I worked on was booked to capacity." Miranda leaned forward from the back seat. "Are you sure I look all right, Valerie? Eve told you we should dress casual, right?"
"That's what she told me and you look better than all right. Eve may have loads of money, but she's not uppity. She'll just be happy to meet you."
"You both look hot tonight," Tommy said.
"Tommy! What a thing to say." Valerie punched his upper arm.
"Uh, I mean casual hot, if you ask me, which of course, you didn't."
Miranda and Valerie both laughed.
Tommy laughed, too. "So, are you two beauties getting out or what?"
"Tommy, you're a piece of work," Valerie said as she opened the car door and put her foot down on the blacktop. Miranda slid out of the back seat and joined her.
"I'll park the car and be right behind you," Tommy yelled out the window.
Eve swung the door open the instant they rang the doorbell. "Val," she said with a big smile on her face. She pulled Valerie into the foyer and for a full minute, they hugged, giggling softly and swaying back and forth. When the hugging ended, Eve addressed Miranda. "And this must be Doctor Ross?"
Valerie took over. "This is my sister, Miranda Ross. Miranda, this is Eve Kincaid."
"It's nice to meet you, at last," Miranda said, shaking Eve's hand. "I want to thank you for convincing me to take the cruise ship job. I think it was the right thing for me at the time and as it turned out, it did
me a world of good."
"I was happy to help," Eve replied. "You can't beat the benefits and let's face it, your circumstances were ideal."
"The benefits were unbelievable. I didn't have to clean or cook or do laundry and I was treated like royalty. The best part for me was the traveling because I'd never had a chance to do a lot of traveling before. I also wanted to thank you for getting me the job so quickly. I know you had to pull some strings."
"No problem. It would have taken a year to get hired the regular way."
"So I heard," Miranda said. "And thank you for inviting me to your home tonight." Eve had an imposing, self-assured presence and yet, she exuded warmth and sincerity. Now Miranda understood why her sister was so fond of her.
"It's a pleasure to have you here," Eve said. "Where's that Tommy?"
"He's parking the car. He'll be here in a minute," Valerie said.
"I hope he finds a place," Eve remarked, and as she did, another woman came over and stood next to her. "Hi, babe," Eve said, as she kissed the woman on the cheek and wrapped her arm around the woman's waist. "Doctor Ross, this is my life partner, Gina. She's also the co-owner of Maiden Voyages."
"It's very nice to meet you, Doctor Ross." Gina extended her hand. "Eve told me all about you and I was hoping I'd get to meet you someday soon."
All about me? Great. I wonder how much Val told Eve. "Same here and please call me Miranda--both of you." Her insides clenched as she remembered that Gina was Jamie's friend. She wondered if Gina knew how Jamie was doing or where she was, but she didn't ask. Not knowing made it easier to let go of the past.
As soon as Tommy joined them, Eve and Gina led them all into the living room. Eve hooked her arm in Miranda's. "Let me introduce you to our guests, Miranda. Valerie and Tommy know most of them, but you probably don't know a single soul."
"I don't think I do."
"Everyone's not here yet," Eve told them after the introductions were complete. "Why don't you guys get something to drink and help yourselves to some appetizers? There's a full bar over there and they're bringing champagne around. Gina and I have some things we have to attend to. We'll catch up with you later."