by Janet Albert
"Right now, we're going inside the cathedral. It's like an art museum."
After they toured the cathedral, Jamie took Miranda to the Garden of Ruins to see the ancient artifacts and after that, they took a leisurely walk through the city streets before returning to the area directly on the harbor known as the old port.
"The harbor's beautiful. Parts of the city are old and run down and some of it's very dirty and trashy, but it has a certain vitality and charm," Miranda commented.
"I think so, too. Hey, let's look around in here." Jamie stepped inside an inviting and aromatic shop selling perfumes, soaps and bath products.
Miranda went right over to the colognes and perfumes where she sampled a few of the fragrances she thought she might like. One in particular appealed to her, so she sprayed some from the tester bottle on the inside of her wrist and behind each ear.
"Jamie, come over here," she called to Jamie who'd wandered off to look at the soaps. She held her wrist under Jamie's nose when she got close enough. "What do you think?"
Jamie moaned. "That's heavenly." She took the bottle from Miranda's hand and read the label. Then she held the bottle up to her nose and sniffed it. "It smells even better on you. It must have to do with the way it reacts with your skin."
"I like it because it's not flowery. It's slightly spicy, yet it's fresh and natural. I never smelled anything quite like it. Leave it to the French."
"Why don't you buy a bottle?"
"Maybe I will." Miranda put the tester bottle down and took one of the sealed boxes down from the shelf. She gasped when she checked the price tag and held it up so Jamie could see it. "No I think not. Not at this price. No wonder it smells so good." Miranda carefully put it back in its place.
"Come on. It wouldn't hurt to splurge."
"No, I can't afford to splurge, not on perfume. Come on, let's look at something else." She wandered off to the other end of the store to look at a colorful display of beautifully packaged bath salts and bath gels. She thought she might pick some up for her sister and mother and maybe even herself. They would make beautiful gifts.
Jamie followed her, but didn't stay long. "You stay here and look around. I'm going back over to look at the soaps. I saw some I'd like to buy."
"Take your time. I want to look at these bath salts."
After visiting two or three other shops and buying a few things here and there, they strolled along the streets surrounding the old port, just looking at anything they happened to come across. The time flew by and before long it was late afternoon.
"I'm starving. Can we have lunch now?" Miranda asked.
"Yes, let's. I'm really hungry too." Jamie retrieved a folded piece of paper out of her jeans pocket and looked it over. "I wrote down the directions," she explained. "I think I can get us there from here."
"I hope you know where you're going." Miranda watched Jamie's every move with fascination. She couldn't help but get caught up in her boundless enthusiasm and her joy of life's simple pleasures. She was sweet and adorable in so many ways.
"Don't worry, you won't get lost with me. I'm about to take you to a very special place for one of the most famous dishes of Marseille."
"What is it? Where are we going?"
"You'll find out. It's a surprise." Several narrow streets later, Jamie paused in front of a small restaurant. "This is the place," she said, holding the door open for Miranda.
Once inside, Miranda made a point of swooning over the mouth-watering aromas that had permeated the entire dining room. Her senses were tickled and teased by garlic, onions, spices, wine, seafood and the distinctive scent of the sea, an odor that seemed to define the very essence of the air in Marseille. "It smells absolutely scrumptious in here."
Jamie spoke to the hostess who then showed them to an intimate table near one of the windows. "This is nice, huh? Great view of the harbor."
"Very nice. You made a good choice."
"I'm doing the ordering," Jamie announced, after she sat down. "Trust me?"
"You've never led me astray so far."
"Here comes the waiter. I hope he speaks English." Jamie fished another crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket and smoothed it out on the table with great care using the heel of her hand. "We'll have a bottle of Cassis blanc-de-blanc," she told him with a rather crude French pronunciation.
"Very well, Mademoiselle," he replied. "Would you like me to get that for you before you order?"
"Oh good, you speak English. That's a relief," Jamie said. "And, yes, you can bring the wine now and some bread and butter please."
"That's the local wine the travel book recommended we drink with the dish we're having," she told Miranda after the waiter left. "I hope you don't mind if I order for us? I have it all planned."
"Go ahead. I'm enjoying just letting you take care of things." Miranda liked the way Jamie had taken charge. Ellen had never done anything, not even something as simple as making a dinner reservation. Both of them had demanding careers, yet Miranda always had to take care of their home and all the details of their life. To make matters worse, Ellen didn't do romantic things, no unexpected gifts, no surprise dinners at very special restaurants or intimate dinners at home for just the two of them. No candles and no soft music either. She'd probably saved all of that for her other women.
The waiter returned with a basket of warm French bread, a tiny ceramic tub of sweet butter and the bottle of wine, perfectly chilled. After pouring a taste for Jamie and waiting for her nod of approval, he poured them each a glass and placed the rest of the bottle in an ice bucket by the side of their table. He also set a small dish of olives and marinated strips of eggplant on the table between them.
When he asked for their order, Jamie consulted her notes a second time. "I'll have the Bouillabaisse du Ravi and my friend will have the spaghetti with clams." As soon as he left, she explained, "I read it was worth traveling to Marseille just to have the spaghetti and clams and that the other dish is the one they're most famous for. I thought we'd get one of each and share them. I hope that's okay with you." Jamie folded her notes and put them back in her pocket.
"It sounds divine. My stomach's grumbling just hearing you talk about it." The care Jamie had put into planning their day touched Miranda deeply and she was struck by the realization that she would miss her. They had a lot in common and she'd enjoyed Jamie's company more than she'd ever thought possible. "This calls for a toast." Miranda lifted her wine glass. "To the most enchanting tour guide a woman could ever ask for."
Jamie raised her glass. "To you and to very special times and very special places."
"And lasting memories, let's not forget that," Miranda said. Gently, she clicked the rim of her glass to Jamie's, watching as Jamie's smile faded like a forgotten dream and her eyes became shrouded in sadness. That pain that Miranda had seen so often lately in them was there again.
"To memories." Jamie swallowed a large sip of wine and fixed her gaze on the view through the window.
"Are you okay, Jamie?" Miranda reached across the table and touched the back of Jamie's hand with the tips of her fingers. "I've had such a good time with you. You've given me a day..." She grasped Jamie's hand in hers. "No, you've given me many days that I'll never forget and I thank you for that."
I'll never forget any of it." Jamie pulled her hand away. "I can't stand the thought that you're leaving so soon. We were just getting to know each other so well." She glanced at Miranda for just an instant and then she stared out through the window again. "I can't."
"Jamie, I..." Miranda never got to say anything more because the waiter returned and plopped two steaming plates of food down in front of them. Perhaps the interruption was a good thing. She was sure Jamie did not want or need to hear the lame, apologetic goodbye she'd been about to say.
"We'd better eat our lunch," Jamie said. She looked at her watch. "I didn't realize it was getting to be this late. We don't have to rush, but as soon as we finish, we have to get back to the ship."
/> "You're right." Miranda looked at the food. "This looks great. Let's eat.
BACK ON THE Sea Goddess, Miranda let Jamie walk her to the infirmary. When they got there, she stopped in front of the door and said, "I guess I'll just say goodbye here, Jamie. I have to check in with Toni and see if she needs anything and I also have to make sure everything's in order before I leave tomorrow."
"Please don't remind me about that." Jamie hung her head. "Would it be all right if I stop by your cabin later on? I'd like to see you one more time, at least for a little while." She looked up. "Please? I need to talk to you about something important before you leave."
"Can't you talk to me about it now?"
"I'd rather not. Please?"
Miranda hesitated before she said, "Okay. Give me about two hours, will you?"
"I'll be there around eight-thirty. How would that be?"
"That's even better. That should give me plenty of time."
"Okay, so I'll see you then?"
"Yeah, see you then."
Chapter Fourteen
AT EIGHT-THIRTY on the dot, Jamie knocked on Miranda's cabin door, but got no answer. She knocked again, but still Miranda did not come to the door. Obviously, something had come up, or Miranda had decided to avoid meeting her one last time. Jamie's heart sunk as she waited anxiously, each minute seeming to drag on for an eternity.
As Jamie was about to give up and return to her own cabin, she spotted Miranda scurrying down the hallway. Relief rushed through her as she breathed deeply a few times to calm herself. "I thought you might not come," she said when Miranda got close enough to hear her.
"Sorry, I got tied up. I couldn't help it." Miranda unlocked the door and motioned for Jamie to enter. "I'm glad you waited for me. Have a seat, I'll be right back." She went directly into the bathroom and when she returned, she said, "Sorry, I had to go to the bathroom. Are you all right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just a little nervous." Jamie had been pacing in the middle of the room and she knew she must have looked as tense as she felt, so she took a seat in the chair by the bed and tried to appear relaxed. Somehow, right now, she had to come up with a viable plan to keep Miranda in her life indefinitely and as if that wasn't going to be hard enough, she had to convince Miranda to go along with it.
Miranda sat on the edge of the bed near Jamie's chair. "What are you nervous about?"
Jamie took a deep breath. "Nothing, really...nothing." She attempted a convincing smile even though her heart was weighted down with sorrow. Maybe some casual chit chat would help to settle her nerves. "Did you have a good time today?"
"I can't tell you what a great time I had. The lunch was out of this world, the wine was outstanding and the entire day couldn't have been better. If you ever needed a new career, you'd make a great vacation planner."
"I like my career just fine, thank you." Jamie noticed Miranda flexing her feet and toes and wincing with pain. "What's the matter? Do your feet hurt?"
"I guess they're sore from walking and standing all day."
Jamie patted her lap. "Here, put your foot here." She took Miranda's foot between her warm hands and massaged it for several minutes.
"That feels wonderful." Miranda closed her eyes, leaned back and groaned. "You have wonderful hands. You could do this for a living."
Jamie laughed. Her nerves were calming down a little, but touching Miranda was now leaving her with a whole new set of stimulation problems. "Give me your other foot," she said, playfully pushing the foot she'd already massaged off her lap. "And stop finding me new careers. Can't you just enjoy this?"
"Believe it or not, I can." After both feet had been thoroughly massaged, Miranda thanked Jamie and neither of them spoke for another minute or two until Miranda broke the silence and said, "You told me earlier that you wanted to talk to me about something. What's on your mind?"
Jamie looked into Miranda's eyes, sorting through her thoughts as she delayed the inevitable. "This is really hard for me to say," she began. "I don't know if I should say it at all, but I feel that I have to. There's something I need you to know, want you to know, and I'm afraid I'll never have another chance to tell you."
"Go on. You can tell me anything."
"I hope you still feel that way after I say what I need to say." Jamie shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. "You're driving me crazy, Miranda. I'm so attracted to you I don't know what to do. Ever since that day you came to talk to me in the gym, my feelings for you have been growing and growing and...and I can't stand to let you walk out of my life without knowing if you feel anything at all for me."
"Jamie..." Miranda leaned forward and touched Jamie's knee. "I'm so sorry. I do feel attracted to you, I do, but I don't think we should do this. I would love to be with you, I really would..."
Jamie had expected this exact response from Miranda. She had suspected that Miranda was attracted to her all along, but things were happening way too fast for both of them and she knew that Miranda was the type who would never indulge in a casual fling and then walk away without so much as a backward glance. If Jamie knew anything about her, she knew she wasn't that kind of woman. "But?"
"But this can't happen, Jamie, it just can't. I wish I could go to bed with you believe me. I want to and I've thought about it, more than you can possibly imagine." Her eyes never strayed from Jamie's, not for an instant. "I think I know how it would be with you and thinking about it has nearly driven me crazy."
"Well then? What's the problem?" While she waited for an answer, Jamie thought there was nothing she'd like more than to climb onto that big bed and take Miranda in her arms. She almost groaned out loud as images flashed through her mind, explicit images of her kissing Miranda, undressing her slowly, touching her everywhere and making mad, passionate love to her.
"The problem is I can't be casual about this, not with you. If we got in this bed and did what we want to do to each other, I'd still have to leave in the morning and I'm not sure I'd know how to deal with what would come after that."
"I understand that, but for me, this is more than just an attraction, more than physical desire. I'm falling in love with you, Miranda."
"Jamie...no," Miranda whispered. "It's too soon."
"Why? Just how long does it take to fall in love?"
Jamie closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed her forehead with her thumb and index finger. "Don't even bother to answer that. It's already too late for me. This love is alive in me and even though I've tried to fight it, I've lost the battle. I've told myself I shouldn't feel this way about you, but I do, and there's nothing I can do about it. I guess that's why they call it falling."
"Jamie, I find you extremely attractive. You're sexy and sensitive and smart. In fact, you're everything I've ever wanted, but we hardly know each other and for me, this is the worst possible time. My life is unsettled. I have to move into a new house, I have to find a job and we don't even live in the same city."
"We don't live that far apart and besides, things can always change. I've had some ideas and I've been thinking about some possibilities we might consider. I'll be back home in a matter of months and I guess I'm having a hard time understanding why we can't continue to see each other."
"I can't Jamie. I can't make any promises to you. I need to go home and get my new life together. I don't want any complications."
"I'm not asking for a lifetime commitment. I just want to be able to see you again."
"I'm sorry. Even that seems like too much for me right now."
"Okay. I thought you might say that." Jamie pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Miranda. "I've had lots of notes in my pockets today, haven't I?" Her feeble attempt at humor produced in her only a passing shadow of a smile. "Here's my friend's name, address and phone number. I'll be staying with her when I get back, at least until I get settled. My cell phone number is there too. Please call me if you change your mind or if you feel differently later on. I wrote down her cell phone number, too. She'll
know where I am even if I don't live with her anymore."
Miranda took the note without looking at it and laid it on the bed. "Thanks, Jamie."
Jamie waited, hopefully, but Miranda's silence and her failure to write down her own address and phone number or anywhere where she could be reached, impelled Jamie to stand up. "I'd better go now. This hurts too much." She walked to the door and turned. "Goodbye, Miranda."
"Jamie, wait. Don't go. I..." Miranda hurried over to her. "It breaks my heart to have caused you any pain. Believe me, it's the last thing I ever wanted to do. You must know that. Please...I need you to know that."
"I...I don't..." Jamie's eyes filled with tears and she found it impossible to speak.
"Can I give you a hug?"
Jamie literally fell into Miranda's open arms and clung to her. If she could have, she would have memorized her smell, her softness, the contours of her body so that she could own this moment and keep it clear and unaltered in her mind forever.
After a while, Miranda pulled away and stepped out of Jamie's arms. She still stood very close to Jamie, but without touching her and she kept her head down as if looking at the floor.
"Miranda," Jamie whispered. With her hand, she lifted Miranda's chin, her eyes never leaving Miranda's mouth. She had to kiss her.
"Yes," Miranda whispered, just before Jamie's lips met hers.
At first Jamie kissed Miranda's lips tenderly, in order to savor the soft, sweet newness of them. Nothing else in the world existed other than the feel of Miranda's mouth against hers. She wanted to devour her, but she dared not expose the enormity of her hunger for fear she'd drive Miranda away for good. She wrapped her arms around Miranda and pulled her body close.
As their kiss deepened, it was Miranda who moaned against Jamie's mouth, Miranda who opened her mouth and invited Jamie to enter and explore with her tongue, Miranda who returned Jamie's kisses with a passion Jamie had only dreamed of.