by Janet Albert
"I know. Once you step inside, it's like you're not in Adams Morgan anymore. It tends to attract an older crowd, more like us."
"We're not that old." Miranda frowned.
"You know what I mean--mid-thirties professionals."
"I guess that is us. Have you been here a lot?"
"Just once. A friend brought me here." Jamie spoke to the hostess.
On the way to the table, Miranda speculated as to whether the friend had been a real friend or a date, but she refrained from asking. "Let's have some wine," she suggested, once they were seated. "Would you like white or red?"
"I think I'd prefer white. I might have some fish." Jamie opened her menu.
Miranda read the wine list. "They have a nice California Chardonnay."
"That's fine with me. By the way, the menu descriptions don't do justice to the food. The dishes sound ordinary, but when they come out of the kitchen, they're quite creative and absolutely delicious."
"Let me see what they have." Miranda put the wine list down and opened her menu. "I see what you mean. I think I'll have the grilled salmon."
After the waiter brought the wine and took their orders, Jamie leaned back in her chair and smiled at Miranda. "Now we can catch up. It was hard to talk at the party."
"That's for sure. You were with a date and I was in shock."
"So was I. Have you heard from anyone on the ship?"
"Lynn called me a couple of weeks ago. She's still working on the ships and plans on doing it indefinitely. Toni transferred to another ship and they lost touch after a while. Guy quit the cruising life all together. In fact, he married the Italian girl he met on our ship and took her home to Miami. I hope she likes it there."
"At least she should be used to the heat. Alicia called me before she went home for a break about six months ago. She lives in San Antonio and I flew out to see her. We had a great time. She's on the Caribbean circuit now."
"Great, if that's what she wants. Personally, I'm glad to be home."
"You and me both," Jamie said with a sigh. "Speaking of homes, tell me about yours. You told me you got a good deal. How did you get a good deal on a house in that section of DC? The houses there are very expensive and from what I hear, they don't stay on the market long, either."
"Everything's expensive here. One of the other lawyers in my brother-in law's firm owned it and he needed to sell it in a hurry, so Tommy talked him into letting me see it before he showed it to anyone else. I got it for a bargain basement price, a measly eight hundred and fifty thousand." Miranda conveyed this information with a deadpan face and then she stared at Jamie and waited until they both burst out laughing.
"Wow, what a bargain. They practically gave it to you," Jamie said once she'd caught her breath. "What's it like?"
"It's a big English arts and crafts style town home."
"Nice. Was it in good condition?"
"Basically, but I'm having some of it remodeled to suit my style." She went on to tell Jamie all about her renovation plans and then she said, "You should come and see it."
"Thanks, maybe I will...sometime."
"Now it's your turn. Tell me about your gym."
"Yeah, my gym." Jamie grinned. "That's why I moved here. It's an ideal place to open a gym, you know, because there are a lot of sedentary young professionals with money and calories to burn."
"That's cute. How did you find a space for it?"
"A real estate agent helped me. She found an industrial loft not too far from where I live. It was perfect. I won't even have to drive to work." Jamie's eyes sparkled as she told Miranda about the gym. "I can't wait until we open."
"Are you working anywhere in the meantime?"
Jamie nodded. "At a gym downtown and I'm teaching adult nutrition and exercise classes in an evening program sponsored by one of the local community colleges. George Washington University invited me to teach an evening course, but I said no, at least for now."
"You could always do that later on."
"I know. Right now, I've got too much on my plate and the first thing I need to do is focus on getting my business going. I want my gym to be special and unique."
"Unique how?"
"I'd like my members to work with trainers, so I've recruited some of the best ones I know. I'd like to offer group nutrition classes and individual counseling and I have some ideas about membership and payment options the other gyms don't offer. First of all, I need to get my name out there. I've been interviewed by the local papers and a couple of gay and lesbian publications and I've been featured in a couple of articles."
"That's good, but I know once people work with you, they'll spread the word."
"I hope you're right." Jamie sat up and leaned on the table. "This means so much to me, Miranda. I've put everything I have into this project and I borrowed a ton of money. I couldn't sleep for a week after I signed the loan papers."
"You have to take risks in order to succeed and I know you're going to succeed. I know you well enough to know that." Miranda reached across the table and took Jamie's hand in hers. With her thumb, she rubbed feather-light circles on the top. All evening she'd avoided touching her, but now she found it impossible not to.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Miranda." Jamie looked at their joined hands for a moment and then slowly reclaimed hers. "Tell me about your job. Do you like it?" She settled back in her chair, her hands tucked safely in her lap.
Miranda took a long swallow of wine before she answered. "I love it. It's a busy ER and a good teaching hospital." She told Jamie all about her work while they waited for the food to arrive and after it did, they caught up on everything that had happened since they left the cruise line. Before they knew it, two hours had hurried by.
When the waiter brought the bill, Miranda took it from him. "This is my treat."
"You don't have to do that."
"I don't have to, but I want to. Please let me."
"Okay, but only if I get to treat you the next time."
"Do you want there to be a next time?"
"It may turn out to be a mistake, but I do," Jamie answered without hesitation. "And you? Do you want to see me again?"
"Yes, I think I do," Miranda whispered.
"You think you do? What do you want, Miranda? Between us, I mean." Jamie leaned forward and put her hands on the table again.
The expression on Jamie's face made Miranda think twice about her answer. "I want to get to know you and spend time with you. I'm happy to see you again and now that I have, I can't imagine my life without you in it. What do you want?"
Jamie paused as if to consider her response and then replied, "I'd like to get to know you better, too, but right now, I don't know what I want us to be to each other. One thing I do know for sure, though. I never want to be hurt by you again." Jamie looked down, her face somber. "I don't think I could take it."
"Jamie...I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you then and I don't want to hurt you now. You have to believe me. I couldn't handle what was happening between us. I..." Miranda covered Jamie's hand where it rested on the table. "I didn't know what to do. It was all so fast...all so much."
"I know. You were scared. Believe it or not, so was I, but when I feel that much about someone, it's hard to ignore and even harder to pass up."
"Can't we just forget about it and start over? See where it takes us?"
Jamie didn't answer right away. She divided what wine was left between the two of them and said, "I can't promise you anything. I'm not sure how I feel about you, anymore." Jamie pulled her hand out from under Miranda's and looked away. "But, I guess I'm willing to start over if you are."
"I appreciate your honesty and I'm more than willing, Jamie. In fact, I'd like that very much." Miranda still found it hard to believe that Jamie was right there in front of her, especially since she'd resigned herself to the fact that she'd never see her again. Parts of her old self, long buried, were coming alive again and she felt a stirring of something de
ep inside. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew it felt damned good.
Chapter Nineteen
MIRANDA KICKED OFF her shoes and collapsed in a heap on the sofa. It had been quite a day. She'd hardly had a chance to drink all of her morning Starbucks and finish rounds with the staff when the emergency room erupted into a non-stop roller coaster ride of madness and mayhem. Just when it looked as if things might slow down a little, rescue brought in a toddler who had died on the way to the hospital. He had cigarette burns on his genitals and cuts and bruises all over his body, all visible evidence of a horrifying history of abuse. The beating had been so severe that he'd bled into his abdomen and although they'd made a heroic effort they were never able to revive him. By the time Miranda left the hospital she felt physically drained, emotionally depleted and sick in her soul.
She let her head fall back and closed her eyes, enjoying the tranquility of her home. If she could somehow manage to erase the day from her thoughts and rest long enough to regain some energy, she'd fix herself something to eat and then maybe soak in a hot tub to wash off the stench of death and human suffering. If she stayed in the tub long enough, she might even manage to dissolve the traces of abuse and cruelty that clung to her like some sort of greasy stain.
Some time later, Miranda jolted upright, disoriented until she realized she'd drifted off to sleep. The first thoughts to enter her mind were of Jamie--where she might be and what she might be doing. Since they'd gone out to dinner, thoughts of Jamie had drifted into her consciousness day and night no matter where she'd been or what she'd been doing. Once the cobwebs in her head cleared, she reached for the phone and punched in her sister's number. She'd promised to call days ago and if she failed to do so, she'd hear about it later on. Valerie answered on the third ring.
"Hi, Val, it's me. I just got home."
"Wow, it's late. You must have had a busy day."
"I had a wicked day and I'm wicked tired."
"Did you eat yet?"
"No, I fell asleep on the sofa. I don't feel much like eating."
"Don't go without eating, Miranda. It's not good for you."
"I know, I know. I'll get something later."
"So work was bad, huh? Anything specific happen or was it just another bad day?"
"You name it, it happened and it went on non-stop all day." Miranda groaned. "As a matter of fact, the whole week's been crazy." Valerie didn't need to hear about the tiny dead body of a defenseless child whose life had been snuffed out by people who couldn't find a healthier outlet for their rage. "That's why I haven't had a chance to call you."
"Well, at least you're home now and you can relax and forget about all of it. What are you planning on doing the rest of the evening?"
"Nothing. I promised you I'd call so I did, but if you don't mind, I'm going to get off the phone. I want to take a hot bath and crawl into bed. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
"Wait, wait, wait. Not so fast. You're not hanging up until you tell me about your date with Jamie. You promised to call me days ago and now it's Thursday and this is the first time I've heard from you. I left two messages and you didn't even call me back."
"I'm sorry, I've been busy and it wasn't really a date."
"What?" Valerie sounded confused.
"With Jamie, it wasn't a date."
"Okay, so whatever it was, how did it go?"
"It was fine. We went to dinner, we talked, and we had a wonderful time. It felt great to get out. There, are you satisfied?"
"Smartass. How was it? Seeing her alone after all this time?"
"Great. It was as if no time had passed and nothing had changed between us." Except for the fact that she's no longer in love with me.
"That's good. Did she like the flowers? I gave you the best ones I had."
"She loved the flowers and the vase. Thanks for suggesting it."
"See, I told you she would. Is she still in love with you?"
"Valerie, you're unbelievable." Miranda laughed in spite of her extreme level of fatigue. "She didn't say either way, although, after the way I treated her, I doubt very much that she is. Don't be shy, Valerie. Just ask me anything you want to know. God forbid I should be entitled to have any secrets from you."
"That's the way it should be between sisters. Not that you don't have secrets. I know you haven't told me the whole truth about your feelings for Jamie." Valerie's end of the line went dead silent as if she were letting her statement sink in.
"Okay, detective Fuller, I confess I've been withholding information from you. The truth is, I wasn't at work today or all week, in fact. I never called you because after our date we went straight to her bed and we've been indulging in mad passionate sex ever since. You heard me, sex. In fact, I just came home to pack some things and hurry back to our bed of carnal bliss, so be good enough not to aggravate me any further with your annoying questions."
"You are one hilarious person. Ha, ha, ha." Valerie faked a belly laugh. "Would that it were true. Now, what really happened?"
"All right, you win. Here's the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. Jamie was friendly and fun to be with, just as she always has been and she didn't say or do one thing to indicate that she still has feelings for me. To be perfectly honest, I have absolutely no clue how she feels. We decided to continue to see each other and see where it leads us. That's it."
"Well, that's something, at least. You like her then, huh?"
"I've always liked her."
"I know, but did you make plans to get together again? Has she called?"
"No, I haven't heard from her."
"Why don't you call her? Does she have to make all the moves?"
"Give me a break. No, she doesn't. I was planning on calling her tomorrow. I'm too tired to talk to her tonight and I don't want to sound irritable or disagreeable because that's how I feel right about now. That having been said, why do you keep forcing me to stay on the phone and carry on a conversation with you?"
"Well, pardon me. I don't know what to say to that."
"What? No biting retort? You disappoint me, Sis."
"Just ask her out, Miranda. Take her somewhere nice or invite her to your house for dinner. Tell her you want her to see your new kitchen."
Miranda couldn't help but laugh at that one. "I sincerely doubt that she'd be interested in seeing my kitchen, Val. I don't even know if she cooks. Hell, I rarely do. And furthermore, I know how to ask someone out, thank you very much. Honestly, you can be such a royal pain in the ass."
"What you meant to say is a lovable royal pain in the ass," Valerie corrected. "I was merely trying to help because I thought you'd forgotten how to socialize after being alone all this time."
"You are amusing, I'll grant you that." Miranda laughed again in spite of herself. "Trust me, I haven't forgotten a thing and just for the record, there are some things about girlfriends and dating that I'd rather forget."
"I hear you. Now, try to keep in mind that she's not Ellen and don't make her pay for the things Ellen did. Anyway, when you think the time is right, I'll have her over here for dinner so Tommy and I can get to know her."
"She has to spend time with my family already? Isn't that a bit premature? Honestly, Val, if I didn't love you so much, I'd have to come over there and kill you."
"You'd better be careful what you say over the phone."
"Why, are you recording this?"
"No, but you never know when you might end up being on one of those true crime shows on television. When someone gets murdered, they always suspect the family members first. Once they clear Tommy, they'll be looking at you."
"Well then, I won't kill you, but when I come over for dinner tomorrow evening, I'm going to beat the crap out of you until you're hanging on by a thread," Miranda teased.
"You don't scare me, Doctor."
"Apparently, I don't scare anybody."
"No, but someone scares you." Valerie paused for effect and then she said, "So, we'll see you tomorrow, right? I
don't know if I'm going to cook or just bring something home with me. It depends on how my day goes."
"Anything will be fine." Miranda deliberately ignored her sister's comment.
"Okay. Hope you have a better day at work tomorrow."
"You and me both. See you tomorrow then."
"Get some rest. I love you. You know I'm just jerking your chain, don't you?"
"Yes and you know I love you, too, right? So goodnight." Miranda hung up, sighing and laughing at the same time. She really loved her sister in spite of her curiosity and her penchant for speaking the truth, whether or not anyone wanted or needed to hear it. The truth was, more often than not, her observations were disturbingly accurate.
Jamie did scare her, as much as she ever had, but her fears notwithstanding, Miranda could no longer find any valid reasons to avoid her. She didn't want to. Jamie already meant too much to her and as far as she knew, only one question remained. What in God's name was she going to do about Jamie Jeffries?
Chapter Twenty
THE NEXT DAY the emergency room slowed to a steady but manageable pace and, for a change, Miranda got home from work on time. After a refreshing shower, she got dressed and sat on the edge of her bed to call Jamie. She wanted to talk to her before she left to go to Valerie's for dinner and before she lost her nerve once again. The phone rang eight or nine times before Jamie picked it up.
"Jamie, it's Miranda." One more ring and Miranda would have hung up.
"Miranda, thank God. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick."
"Jamie? What's the matter?" Jamie's voice, nothing more than a croaking whisper, sounded distant and distorted and if Jamie hadn't said her name, Miranda would have thought she'd made a mistake and called the wrong number.
"I feel horrible. Burning up, ache all over...dizzy. It's bad." Jamie labored to speak. "I can't work...can't get out of bed."
"Are you alone?"