Everything Girl

by Emily Mayer

  “Hey,” he said, and then his lips were on mine for an unhurried kiss. “Sorry I snuck out on you this morning. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

  “Smart man.” I snuggled into his arms. “It’s fine. I know how early you usually get up, and I clearly slept late.”

  He wagged his eyebrows, “Oh yeah? All that physical activity wearing you out, city girl?”

  I swatted his chest, pushing myself out of his embrace and making my way to the coffee pot. Jack reached into the cabinet above me and handed me a mug.

  I smiled, pouring the dark liquid necessary for life.

  “I like this,” I confessed, looking up at Jack leaning on the counter next to me.

  He laughed. “I think we all know how you feel about your coffee.”

  “No, I meant this.” I motioned between us. “I like us in the morning. I like coming downstairs and seeing you in the kitchen. And good-morning kisses. I like those too.”

  I felt my face flush as my eyes found his over the rim of my mug, waiting for his reaction to my quiet confession. At least if he didn’t agree, I could blame my words on lack of caffeine.

  He reached for the strand of hair that never stayed put, tucking it behind my ear. “I like that too. More than I probably should.”

  Before I could ask Jack what he meant, a throat cleared in the doorway. I whipped around to see Ben making his way into the kitchen, mug in hand.

  “Morning, Evelyn. Jack.” He came to a stop in front of us, his gaze darting to the small space between our bodies.

  I prepared myself for the horror of explaining to my boss that I was sleeping with his brother. Silence filled the air between the three of us. My face grew redder and my heart beat faster as the silence continued, none of us apparently willing to start this conversation.

  Ben lifted up his mug. “You’re blocking the coffee pot. I need a refill.”

  I mumbled an apology as I shuffled away from the counter, feeling a strange pang of guilt. I snuck a glance at Jack, who looked completely at odds with the way I felt. He leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed loosely across his chest. He wore confidence like a zebra wears its stripes.

  “So I received a calendar invite this morning for the next board meeting,” Ben said, full mug in hand. “Due to a scheduling conflict, they asked to move the meeting up a few weeks. Looks like we’re headed back to Chicago next Friday. We’ll have a week filled with meetings, so I want to have the weekend to get settled in.”

  It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I watched the expression on Jack’s face darken.

  “Wow, so soon.” The words felt hollow in my throat. I hoped Ben thought the flatness of my response was due to surprise.

  “I know. I bet you’ll be glad to get us out of your hair.” Ben directed the comment toward Jack, who stood looking like a thundercloud next to him. A familiar muscle in his jaw twitched, signaling his displeasure.

  Jack’s dark gaze stayed fixed on me. “Something like that, sure. I gotta get going. I’ll see you two later.”

  I watched Jack shove off the counter and out the door, letting it slam behind him.

  Seemingly unaware of the tension buzzing through the kitchen after he had casually burst the happy bubble I had been pretty content living in, the destroyer of perfectly good moments started making his way toward the office, motioning for me to follow him.

  “We need to go over all the data, all the information we’ve compiled. I want this presentation to be flawless. Bulletproof.”

  I spent the rest of the day reading and re-reading all the words I already knew by heart while my mind wandered. My body was in the office, but my mind was worrying over the anger that had radiated off of Jack when Ben had said we were leaving sooner than expected. I was pretty well-versed in his angry body language, considering I had seen so much of it firsthand, but I didn’t understand why he was angry. All I felt was a crushing sadness.

  My skin was practically itching with the need to talk to Jack, so when Ben said we should call it quits, I flew out of my chair and straight out of the house.

  “Hey!” I waved at Gabe, who was working with one of the young horses. “Have you seen Jack?”

  Gabe grunted, turning his attention to me. “Last time I saw his grumpy ass, he was working on the tractor—”

  I cut him off.

  “Okay, great! Thanks, Gabe.”

  I heard him throw out a ‘good luck’ as I marched toward the barn where the tractor was kept. Gabe’s words weren’t enough to slow me down, but they didn’t do anything to squash the rising anxiety in my chest. I needed to hear Jack say we were on the same page. I needed to feel the calm that being with him always seemed to bring.

  I found him bent over the hood of the old tractor that looked like it was beyond saving. I stood quietly, watching him work for a minute, admiring the way his jeans hugged that oh-so-perfect butt and the way the muscles in his forearms bunched and jumped. There really should be a law requiring this man to always have his forearms visible.

  “Hi.” I moved to stand next to him, peering into the hood like it might have the answers I was looking for.

  Jack looked up at me, a scowl marring that handsome face. He grabbed a rag off the work bench and started wiping grease off his hands.

  “Hi.” His tone was soft, so much softer than the expression he was wearing, giving me a burst of hope.

  I moved my gaze from his hands to his eyes, taking in the deep green shirt he wore and the way it stretched across the expanse of his chest.

  “Gabe said you were in a bad mood.” He tossed the rag back onto the bench and stepped closer to me. “Are you mad at me? About what Ben said? About us leaving?”

  Jack’s head reared back, eyes going wide with surprise. He pulled me into his chest, and my arms wrapped around his waist instinctively.

  “Evie, no. Baby, I’m not mad at you.” He let loose a sad laugh. “I’m mad at myself.”

  “You are?” I stared up into his face, loving the warmth in his eyes as they met mine.

  “Yeah. I wasted so much time with you. I spent so much time trying not to let you get under my skin when you were already there. All that was time I could have spent with you.”

  I blinked back the tears threatening to overflow and snuggled closer to him. His arms tightened around me in response. I breathed in that smell of sweat and outside and all that was Jack, and the first tear slipped down my cheek.

  “I wish we had more time.” My voice cracked and another tear followed the first.

  One of Jack’s hands moved to cup my face, the rough pad of his thumb chasing away the rogue tears.

  “We’ll figure it out.” His thumb traced over my bottom lip, tugging it free from where it was trapped between my teeth. “I know this girl who’s pretty good at planning.”

  I laughed through a sniffle. “I think she could probably come up with something.”

  He smiled down at me, a gentle smile that made my heart ache. “I meant it when I said I wanted to try. I’m all in, Evie. Everything else we can figure out.”

  I let out a shaky breath. “I like the sound of that. I’m all in too. I have been for a while.”

  His lips covered mine for a long, deep kiss that promised we had all the time in the world.

  When we finally came up for air, he pressed one more kiss to my forehead.

  “We should go see King. Put some work in with him before dinner.” He made no move to release me as he spoke. “We’re going to have to spend a lot of extra time with him before you leave.”

  I dropped my arms, slipping one hand into his much larger one. A confidence I rarely felt these days pushed out the anxiety that had been my constant companion since I’d shoved all my personal belongings into a box and walked away from the legal department. We were in this together.

  45.

  The expression time “flies when you’re having fun” has always held up, but as the days flew by, it seemed like time moved the fastest when
you wanted it to slow down. Most of my days were spent working with Ben, and the evenings were spent with Jack. We worked with King until it got too dark outside to see, a job I was finding much more enjoyable than my office work. Margot, Katie, and I made lots of excuses for girl time—a day of shopping at the cute little boutiques in town, complete with a late lunch at Joan’s, where I fought the urge to gloat every time Shelly walked by our table. We even visited the infamous Rowdy’s one evening. Coming home to Jack might have been my favorite part of that evening, but it was a close contest between slipping into bed next to him and Katie teaching me to line dance.

  The nights were all Jack’s. We snuggled on the couch, watching Netflix and talking until we both agreed it would be a good idea to move to his bedroom. I spent every night with him in his room. Hank Williams and a large amount of my belongings moved down the hall with me.

  We stayed up into the early hours of the morning, talking about anything and everything, taking breaks only to go another round. I was determined to learn as much as I could about this man who was taking up more and more space in my heart. I wanted to know everything—from his favorite food to how he knew he wanted to run the ranch instead of working at Sterling. I was equally determined to learn his body, what he liked and what made him crazy. I had more sex in that handful of days than I would have thought was possible. Jack was insatiable, and seemed just as determined to learn my body. Sometimes he made love to me slowly, worshiping my body until I couldn’t tell where I ended and he began. Other times, it was almost frantic, like he wanted to brand my body so I would remember him when I was gone.

  By midweek, lack of sleep had me nodding off at my desk, and once or twice at the table. One evening, I leaned my head on Jack’s shoulder for five seconds too long, and slept through most of dinner. If I was sleeping through meals, the exhaustion was epic. I had no idea how Jack, who was up before the sun most mornings, was even alive. But I wouldn’t have traded a single one of those early hours for the extra sleep. Especially moments like this, with my naked chest pressed up against his wall of muscles and our legs tangled under the covers. I traced every dip and valley on his glorious chest, following my fingertips with kisses. I felt Jack harden, pressing into my thigh.

  “If you keep that up, no one’s getting any sleep tonight.” He squeezed my butt with one of those large palms.

  I rested my head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I'm going to miss this.”

  Jack’s hand moved the short distance from my butt to the curve of my back, leisurely sweeping up and down. Goosebumps broke out with every pass of his hand.

  “Me too. I like having you in my bed.” He moved the hand resting on his chest down his flat stomach to cup his erection. “A lot.”

  I laughed into the side of his neck, giving him a light squeeze. “How is that even possible? It’s been five minutes. You’re insatiable.”

  “I am when it comes to you.” His voice grew serious, making me shiver.

  He guided one of my legs across his body so that I straddled him. My hair draped around us like a curtain, and all I could see were his eyes shining fiercely into mine. One hand cupped each side of my face, sweeping my hair back. I felt his eyes travel over every inch of my face.

  “I love you.” His voice was sure, leaving no room for doubt, and it sent my heart soaring out of my body. “I don’t want you going back to Chicago not knowing how absolutely, completely in love with you I am.”

  “I love you too.”

  Giving voice to the words I had felt for so long was so natural that saying them was almost like breathing. I did it even without conscious thought.

  The smile he gave me warmed me all the way through. He tugged my head lower so that our mouths were almost touching.

  “Say it again.” I felt his words on my lips, those warm eyes boring into mine.

  “I love you.” I brought my mouth even closer so that my lips moved against his. “Maybe even more than coffee.”

  His lips pressed lightly to mine, sweetly at first like he was savoring every pass, then with more urgency. His tongue slipped past my lips, tangling with mine over and over. He kissed me like he couldn’t get enough of my mouth. He tore his lips from mine and nibbled a path down my neck, making a hot trail to my collarbone. I was panting when he lifted his head, his gaze sweeping over my swollen lips with a satisfied smile.

  “Why did you stop? No stopping,” I huffed, making sure to press my naked breasts against his chest. I smiled when I got the desired result and he let out a little groan.

  “We should get some sleep. You have a long day tomorrow.” His hand came up, tucking my loose hair behind my ear. His thumb swept over my bottom lip, which was forming a serious pout.

  “I don’t want to leave.” The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  He gave me a look full of sympathy, a sad smile tugging up the corner of his mouth. “I know, baby. I’m going to miss you like crazy.”

  I let out a watery sigh, feeling tears start to fill my eyes at an alarming rate. I laid my head on his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heart. “But we can video chat every day,” he said, “and you can send me naked pictures.”

  I swatted him playfully on the chest. “I swear to God if you send me a dick pic I will never forgive you. And I will show it to Ben.”

  He chuckled, bouncing my head where it was pressed tightly against him. “Nothing he hasn’t seen before. He—”

  “Please don’t finish that sentence. I really don’t want to think about Ben’s… stuff… ever, and I need to be able to look him in the eye tomorrow without turning into a tomato.” I traced the curve of one perfect pectoral muscle, trailing my finger over his ribs and loving the quiver of muscles as I went. “Can I ask you something?”

  “You can ask me anything.” He stroked my hair reassuringly.

  “The day of the bonfire when Leigh called, what happened? You were upset.”

  I cringed when his hand paused.

  “You’ve been holding on to that one for a long time, huh?”

  I nodded without lifting my head, afraid to look him in the eye. His hand started moving again. “Leigh called to let me know her album was out and she was going to go on a promotional tour. She wanted to stop in Montana to see me. Wanted to talk.”

  “And that made you mad?” I was pretty confident that I wasn’t in competition with a supermodel-turned-pop-star, but my heart needed confirmation.

  “Talking to her usually does. It’s not her fault.” He let out a frustrated breath. “Hearing from her just takes me back to a bad time. But I don’t still love her, if that’s what you’re wondering. I haven’t loved her for a long time. If I’m being honest, I don’t know if I ever did. Not the way either of us needed.”

  “Why did it end?” I pressed a kiss next to his heart, wanting to soften questions I knew were hard for him to answer, but that I couldn’t seem to keep from asking.

  “After the accident, I was in bad shape. Physically and emotionally. Doctors didn’t know if I would walk right again and the therapy was awful. Our lives changed in seconds, and we didn’t know how to handle it. I don’t know. When something like that happens, all the cracks in your relationship just bust wide open and sometimes you can’t fix them. And I was a miserable bastard for a long time.”

  “‘Was’? As in past tense?” He smacked my butt with enough force to sting, making me squirm. “Hey! I’m just speaking the truth. I’ve been on the receiving end of your miserable-bastard routine. She didn’t want to stay here?”

  “No. Somehow we never talked about the future in those terms. I always planned on running Pinehaven. I can’t see myself doing anything else. She needed to be in the city for work, and she barely tolerated being here just for visits as it was. She was not a country girl, that was painfully obvious.”

  His words unintentionally poked at a sore spot. “Like me.”

  Those big strong hands gently lifted my face until my eyes were forced to meet
his. The resolve I saw in his expression made my heart pound in an uneven pattern.

  “Nothing is the same with you, Evelyn.”

  I gave him a rueful smile, self-doubt creeping in. “I’m not so sure what I am. I’m not a country girl and I’m not a city girl. I’m not a lawyer, not really, and I’m not an executive assistant either. I’m not an anything girl.”

  “You’re right. You’re not a city girl or a country girl.” His thumb stroked my jaw, making a gentle line that stood in sharp contrast to the hardness in his tone. “You’re an everything girl. When I look at you, I see my everything. Whether you’re in Montana or Chicago or the goddamn moon, you are everything.”

  And I knew, I knew, that this Jack—who looked at me like I was everything, eyes overflowing with love and the quiet confidence that he took with him everywhere—was my favorite.

  46.

  The smell of coffee woke me up. Any other time, I would have loved waking up to one of my favorite smells, but today waking up meant I was leaving. I kept my eyes closed, snuggling into the warm body next to me, wanting every minute of this day to last hours.

  “Morning, baby.” His lips pressed against each eyelid before his mouth met mine in an achingly slow kiss that left tears streaming down my face. He kissed each errant tear, whispering soothing words as he pulled me tighter against him.

  “I better pace myself.” I gave him the saddest smile in the history of sad smiles. “I don’t want to run out of tears before Margot gets here.”

  Jack laughed, the sound rough from sleep. “She’d be pretty disappointed if she had to cry alone, but something tells me that’s not going to be a problem.”

  A few kisses later, I stood in my room for the last time, taking in the neatly-made bed—which hadn’t been slept in lately. It felt a lot like standing in my childhood bedroom when I went home to visit. I was not the same girl who had lived there, but the memory of her was still there, haunting it like a ghost.

  I showered, then put the toiletries I hadn’t packed last night into an open suitcase, fighting tears the entire time. I took a deep breath before opening the door, trying to brace myself for walking to breakfast for the last time. The effort was wasted when I finally opened the door and saw Hank Williams lying outside my room, waiting for me. His tail wagged when he saw me and I let out a choked sob before throwing myself on him and gathering him into my arms. A wet tongue licked my face furiously. I loosened my grip and pressed a kiss to his head.