by Emily Mayer
Me: Thanks for the flowers. They’re beautiful.
I was surprised when the three little dots appeared almost immediately.
Jack: Glad you liked them. How’s your morning been?
Me: I’ve only been here for ten minutes, so okay. I made dinner plans with Anna and Hilari so I’m looking forward to catching up with them. And sushi. I’m also looking forward to sushi.
Jack: That’s good, baby. I have to get going, the cows are getting excited about breakfast. I miss you.
Me: Miss you too. Love you.
I tucked my phone into my desk drawer and got to work, making a short list for Ben of things that needed to get done before the end of the day and putting notes together for him on all our meetings today.
The rest of the week was just an endless string of meetings broken up by meals and sleep. The best parts of every day were the text messages from Montana, or what I now referred to as ‘back home.’ I had no idea when I’d started referring to Pinehaven as ‘back home,’ but there it was.
My phone’s background picture was a selfie Jack had sent of him holding Saffron and Basil while Rosemary photobombed them over his shoulder. Gabe kept his word and sent me multiple text messages a day. He sent me updates about King’s progress, knock-knock jokes, and videos of the goats. He refused to admit they were growing on him, but he’d bought them a soccer ball that resulted in the best video I’d seen in my life. Goats playing soccer should be mandatory viewing. Everyone sent me pictures of Hank Williams. I even forced Jack to FaceTime me, because I was worried Hank would forget the sound of my voice.
Friday morning’s board meeting seemed like merely an obstacle to my video date with Jack. It went off without a hitch. The board was horrified and impressed with the information we had compiled, which was the exact reaction we were going for. They agreed to move ahead with the dissolution, and expressed their gratitude to us for bringing this to their attention. I accepted their praise with a smile, then got out of there as fast as I could without being inappropriate.
It was almost dark by the time I got home. I changed out of my suit and into a pair of leggings and the sweatshirt I’d stolen from Jack. I had slept in it every night since I left. I poured myself a glass of wine and settled onto the couch, picking up my phone to order Chinese. My laptop started buzzing with an incoming video chat invitation from Elise. I hit answer and held up a finger, silently asking her to hang on a second while I finished ordering.
“Hey, sorry about that. I was ordering dinner. What’s up?”
“Nothing, we thought we could do a little video date. Are you expecting company? We can try this tomorrow.” Elise adjusted the screen so I could see her better. I did not miss the way her eyebrows rose when she took in my oversized sweatshirt.
“Nope, I’m not expecting anyone,” I reassured her.
“All that food was for you?”
“I haven’t had Chinese in over a month, Judgey McJudgerson! Also, I only had time to scarf down a yogurt for lunch.”
I was saved by Corinne’s request to join our chat.
“Hey ladies, happy Friday! What’s going on? How was the board meeting, Evie?” Corinne’s smiling face filled the other half of my screen.
“Evie just ordered enough Chinese food to feed a family of five,” Elise informed Corinne.
“I did not order that much food.” I rolled my eyes. “And the meeting went really well. They accepted our proposal, and even seemed genuinely happy to have Ben back.”
“That’s great.” Corinne shot me a thumbs-up. “I don’t know why I just did that. Feel free to pretend like it didn’t happen.”
I chuckled, giving her a thumbs-up in return. “You got it.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes.
“You don’t seem that excited about how well the meeting went. Why aren’t you out celebrating?” Elise leaned into the screen, as if she could find the answer to her question by examining my face on her screen.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just feel meh about the whole thing. I was completely plugged in during the meeting, old-school Evelyn style, but after it was over, I just couldn’t get that excited about it.”
Corinne sighed, thoughtfully running her hand up and down her very large stomach. “Everything’s been meh since you got back.”
I nodded, because I couldn’t disagree. “I know. Not to sound pathetic, but I don’t think I realized how lonely my life was until now.”
Elise gave me a reassuring smile. “That’s a little sad, Evie. But the not-sad part is that you know now and you can change it.”
I blew out a breath. “I know you’re right. The problem is I don’t want to fix it.”
“What do you mean?” Corinne’s forehead was scrunched in concern. “You want to keep being lonely?”
“No. I mean…” I searched for the words to explain how I was feeling. “I’ve only been back a week, but I don’t think I want to do this anymore.”
Elise’s voice rose with alarm. “What are you talking about here? Because I’m about to hop in my car and drive to Chicago. That sounded real doomsday.”
I would never understand what I did to deserve these two. “Calm down. I’m fine. I just feel like, in Chicago I’m always trying to fit myself into this idea of me. I didn’t have to do that in Pine Hollow. I was just me there, and that was good enough. Does that even make sense?”
Both women were watching me with small smiles on their faces. Corinne was the first to speak.
“That makes perfect sense.”
Elise nodded her head in agreement. “It totally does.”
“It does?” I was a little surprised that they were both agreeing with me on this one.
“Evie, I haven’t seen you that happy and confident in a really long time.” Corinne wiped under her eyes. “Sorry, everything makes me cry right now.”
“And I think you left a really big chunk of your heart in Montana,” Elise added with a soft smile. “I almost said ‘hunk.’ Hunk of your heart. It still would have worked.”
I laughed, feeling relieved that they understood the feelings I was doing a pretty terrible job of giving voice to. “I just need to figure out what to do with all this.”
“Well, if you want any pointers on what to do with Jack—” I heard Ted yelling at Corinne in the background. “Okay, okay. I was totally serious though.”
“Anyway, what I think Corinne was trying to say is, and I agree with her, you already know what to do about it.”
Corinne nodded her head. “Yes, that is what I meant to say. Before you start to argue with your older, wiser sisters, just think about it okay? Remember that your heart is just as big as your head, and just as important.”
We chatted for a little bit longer about what was going on in their lives. Texting all day meant that there wasn’t really much to fill in, but it was just nice to see their faces sometimes. I said goodbye when the delivery guy buzzed up.
I was making my way through the Chinese buffet on my coffee table when my computer dinged with another incoming video chat request. This one I was expecting. I accepted the request, and Jack’s handsome face filled up my screen. He looked tired. Stubble lined his jaw, and his hair was still damp from a shower.
My ovaries sighed. “Hi. You look tired.”
“Long day. You look good, though. I like your shirt.” His voice was rough and the gravelly tone made my heart dip down toward my toes.
“Me too.” My greedy eyes ate up his face, making me forget all about the food. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, baby.” He smiled, settling back onto his pillows. “How’d your meeting go?”
I filled him in on the meeting, and he told me about his day. The last time I looked at the clock, it was past midnight. I fell asleep listening to Jack’s voice, my head resting on a throw pillow.
49.
Monday morning came and went. By Tuesday, I was looking at plane tickets. Flying commercial to Montana for a weekend was expensive, and some
how involved a lot of driving. Wednesday found me seriously considering asking Ben what the company policy was on borrowing the corporate jet. It seemed like a reasonable employment benefit. Health insurance, paid time off, use of the corporate jet—same thing.
When I got to work Thursday morning, there was a note stuck to my computer telling me to meet Ben in his office. I grabbed my notes for the day and made the short trip to his door, knocking lightly.
Ben’s head popped up. “Evelyn, come on in. Do you have the notes for the meeting with Van Horn’s this afternoon?”
I passed him one of the files in my hand. “Yes, I had the legal department verify some of the clauses in the contract that weren’t included in the first draft. Their notes are highlighted, but everything checked out.”
“Great.” He pushed back from his desk, standing up. “Walk with me for a second.”
I followed him out of his office and down the hall. He came to a stop outside an empty office, in the part of the executive floor where general counsel was located. Incidentally, it was where I had planned on being one day. Ben flipped on the light and motioned for me to follow him inside.
“What do you think?” His hand swept around the space, a big smile on his face.
It was a dream office. One wall was all windows, and a floor-to-ceiling bookcase covered another wall. The office was spacious enough for a large desk and some fancy chairs.
“It’s a great space.” I smiled back at Ben, unsure what we were doing here.
“It’s yours if you want it.”
My jaw dropped. “What? What do you mean, mine if I want it?”
“The board was impressed with all your work on the dissolution. They’ve been impressed with all your work as my assistant. Beyond impressed. We’re offering you a general counsel position. You’ve been a great executive assistant, Evelyn, but we both know you were meant for more.”
My heart started beating erratically. More. More. More. The walls felt like they were closing in on us, pushing the oxygen out of the room. Sweat beaded on my forehead. I pictured hours and hours of my life spent in this space, in this building, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Fifteen minutes later, I walked out of the office and toward my desk on wobbly legs. I felt a little nauseated, and there was a real chance I would need to make a detour to the bathroom to throw up my bagel. It took me longer than it should have to notice all the whispers and glances in my direction. I thought I was just being paranoid at first, but by the time I turned the corner I was sure the whispers were about me.
I discreetly swept my hand down the back of my skirt to make sure I hadn’t tucked it into my underwear again. Nope, underpants were still safely hidden under my skirt. I was puzzled. There was no way everyone could have found out so quickly about what had just happened with Ben.
I picked up my pace, anxious to reach the security of my desk. Heart hammering already, I turned the corner and saw the last person I had expected to see, sitting in my chair.
“Jack?”
His head shot up from his phone and a smile slowly stretched across his mouth. Mystery solved. Standing in front of me was the cause of the whispers.
“Surprise.”
I crashed into him and his lips found mine. He kissed me like we had been apart for years, not weeks. My cheeks were flushed when he finally broke the kiss. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. This is your workplace.”
I placed a quick kiss on his lips, smiling up at him. “No, it’s not.”
“It’s not what?” He ran his hands down my hair, his eyes searching mine.
“It’s not my workplace. At least it won’t be in two weeks.” Jack looked stunned. I was still processing it myself.
“You quit?”
I nodded, panic warring with relief. “I did. I was hoping you might need another ranch hand at Pinehaven.”
His hands came up, bracketing my head between them. “Evelyn, what are you thinking? Did you just wake up this morning and decide to quit?”
“No.” I shook my head as much as his hands would allow. “I decided to quit when Ben offered me a general counsel position. It didn’t feel right, the idea of working in that office when my heart was somewhere else. You feel right. Pinehaven feels right. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
Jack’s eyes searched mine almost frantically, like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. His lack of reaction started making me rethink the thing I had put no thought into originally. This was why I didn’t do things without a plan first. Tears started building in my eyes and I took in a deep breath, reminding myself that I was going to be okay no matter what happened next.
My hands moved to wrap around each of his wrists, trying to tug them away from my face. “You don’t have to worry. I saved up to quit but then I didn’t quit. I mean the first time I quit. You know what I mean. So I’m fine. I’m more than fine. Really, I—”
Jack mouth silenced my nervous rant. He kissed me until I forgot what I had even been nervous about. Then he lifted his head, a smile transforming his face. He let go of me and walked around my desk, grabbing my coat and bag.
It was my turn to be confused. “What are you doing?”
He slid my jacket onto my left arm, then the right, before handing me my bag. “You’re taking the rest of the day off.”
“I am?”
“Yeah. We have a lot to get done in two weeks.” He zipped up my jacket. His hand moved to the small of my back, gently pushing me toward the elevators. “We need to get some boxes, unless you have those. How long was your lease? We’ll probably need to find a subletter. And we should probably get you one of those fancy espresso machines for the kitchen.”
The elevator dinged and he guided me through the open door.
“For the kitchen?” My mind was struggling to keep up with him. To keep up with this whole morning.
“I figure you aren’t going to want to drive all the way to town anytime you want a latte, which we both know is pretty much all the time.” He pressed a button on the panel, never taking his eyes off me.
I nodded my head. “I like that plan. It’s a really good plan.”
He smiled at me. “You taught me everything I know.”
Epilogue
Three years later
I heard Jack’s worried voice calling from somewhere behind us. “Evie! Slow down!”
I tugged lightly on King’s reins, slowing him down to a fast walk. I sighed, already missing the feeling of the wind rushing past me. I leaned forward so that my mouth was lined up with King’s ear.
“I promise we’ll find a way to sneak in our runs. At least for the next couple months.” I stroked his neck before steering us to the disgruntled man standing just beyond the fence with his arms crossed. I didn’t need to see his face to know he was wearing his signature scowl.
He uncrossed his arms to take King’s reins as I dismounted.
“I’m fine,” I reassured him. “Dr. Blower said it's perfectly safe for me to keep riding during the first trimester. You were there with me, so I know you heard her.”
“She said to be careful, try to keep it to a walk or trot.” He turned the full force of that stormy expression my way. “That was not a walk or a trot.”
Unfortunately for him, I had become immune to the full array of his fierce expressions about two years ago.
“Jack, I’m fine. Baby Danver is fine. And we both trust King.”
I’d picked up with King as soon as I got back from Chicago, and over the years we had formed a strong bond. I trusted King like I trusted Corinne to let me know if I looked bad in a pair of jeans. She hadn’t let me down yet, and neither had King.
I trailed behind Jack as he led King back to his stall, grumbling the entire way. I had become fluent in Jack-grumbles and Jack-grunts, so I knew this particular session was from a place of love. I still had a hard time believing this man was my husband. Husband. It was less new than the baby I was brewing, but still new enough that
the title made me do a little happy dance on the inside.
My hands settled on my stomach, cradling the little bump I was sure you could see from the right angle if you looked really, really hard.
“I know it’s hard to believe, listening to him right now, but your daddy is actually a totally rational person. Mostly.”
“And your mama is going to be the death of me.” Jack pressed his lips to my stomach, and I fell in love with him all over again. “Mom and Sam are here. They brought dinner.”
About six months after I moved in, Mary moved out to live with Sam. That was a twist I hadn’t seen coming, but it was the best kind. I think she was just waiting to make sure Jack was settled before she flew the coop. Thankfully, she hadn’t gone far, because my cooking skills had barely improved. My stomach grumbled on cue.
“Do you think she brought pie?” I sighed dreamily. I handed King an apple, hoping any fruit I consumed this evening would be covered in a buttery, flaky crust.
Jack chuckled. “I’m sure she got the hints you’ve been dropping all week. Subtlety is not your strongest suit, babe.”
“I know. She said to let her know what sounds good to me and Baby Danver, but it feels like I’m taking advantage of the whole pregnancy thing if I ask her to bake for me.” I leaned into Jack’s side when he slipped his arm around my waist.
“So you trick her into doing it instead?” I could hear the humor in his accusation.
“When you say it like that…” I trailed off as we stepped through the front door and were immediately greeted by Letty.
“Uncle Jack! Aunt Evie! I was looking for you.” She wrapped her little arms around me and added in a hushed voice, “Grandma made pies.”
At almost six, Letty wanted to be a rancher just like her dad and uncles—and she was absolutely fearless, too.
“Best news ever! Are you keeping Uncle Gabe away from them?” I gave her tiny frame a squeeze. Letty may have been all about her uncles, but I could always count on her to be my co-conspirator.
She giggled, reaching to take my hand and attempting to drag me toward the kitchen. “Yes, but you have to hurry. I can’t keep him away much longer!”