The Other Name

by Jon Fosse

  You need to come out now, The Handyman says

  Yes, right, I say

  The rules are that we have to just pick up the house pet and not stay any longer in the home than we need to, he says

  and I say I’m coming, and I turn out the bathroom light and go out into the hall and I see The Handyman standing in the front doorway and he’s holding the door handle and I think now I want to look in the main room and I open the door to that room

  No, we need to leave now, The Handyman says

  I just thought I should make sure everything’s all right, I say

  Yes, okay, he says

  and I turn on the light and I see that everything’s where it belongs, everything’s in its place, and pictures are stacked in neat piles, all with their homemade stretchers facing out so that you can’t see a single painting, and the brushes and tubes of paint and everything are in their proper places on the table, and a roll of canvas is propped in a corner and there’s wood for stretchers in another corner and I hear The Handyman ask if everything’s all right in there and I say yes everything’s fine, everything’s where it should be and he says in that case we need to leave and I say yes all right and turn out the light and shut the door to the living room or studio or whatever it should be called and The Handyman says all right come on then and I think it’s horrible how he’s fussing about all this and I say I need to just look in the kitchen too, and he says yes, yes, that’s probably fine, yes the rules allow for that too now that he comes to think of it, they say a person can look around to make sure everything’s in order, that the lights are off, that the burners aren’t on, things like that, yes, but he usually doesn’t do all that because the most important thing is just to do what you need to do and get out, do it and leave right away, for example get the dog, or the cat, if necessary, and other than that, yes, well, it’s the family, the relatives, who should take care of the rest, he says and I say yes yes

  But hurry up, The Handyman says

  Yes yes, I say

  and I open the door to the kitchen and feel my way over to the light switch and turn on the light and of course, yes I think of course, yes, obviously everything here too is as it should be, everything’s where it belongs, there’s a glass in the sink and a bottle with a little still water in it on the table, there’s not a crumb anywhere, and it’s almost creepy how neat Asle kept everything, I think, and I don’t know why that should be sort of creepy

  Now we need to go, The Handyman says

  Yes yes, I say

  and I turn off the kitchen light and I shut the door and then I pick the leash up off the bureau with one hand while I hold the dog with the other and then I go towards the doorway where The Handyman is standing and he steps aside and I turn off the hall light and he shuts the door and then I stand there with the dog in my arms and I see The Handyman lock the door and then I start down the stairs and I hear The Handyman checking to feel if the door is locked and checking it again and I go to the front door of the building and once we’re outside I put the dog down and the second I put him down in the snow he jumps a little to the side and raises his leg and I see him make a yellow hole of piss in the white snow, it’s not so nice to look at, and then the dog starts hopping and dancing around in the fine white loose snow and I kick some snow over the yellow piss and everything’s white and pretty again and the dog jumps around and around in the snow, burows his muzzle into the snow, rolls around, yes, it’s like the dog is taking a bath in the snow and then I hear The Handyman say well then that takes care of that, he says, and he asks me where he should take me now and I say I’m staying at The Country Inn and he asks if guests are allowed to bring dogs into the rooms there and I say I don’t know and he asks what I plan to do with the dog if I can’t bring him up to the room and I say in that case he can sleep in my car

  Yes I suppose he could always do that, The Handyman says

  and then we stand there and look at the dog skipping and jumping around in the snow

  Did you know him well? The Handyman says then

  Did I? I say

  Yes, right, do you, he says

  Yes, I say

  He’s a good friend? he says

  Yes, I say

  Just a friend? he says

  Yes, just a friend, I say

  Just a friend, okay, he repeats

  and then The Handyman says we should go and I say I’m sure the dog needs to go, and I watch the dog hunch up, with his rear end sort of sticking up over the snow and his tail in the air, and he takes a good long shit

  That wasn’t nothing, The Handyman says

  He really needed to go, didn’t he, I say

  and The Handyman nods and the dog is finished and then The Handyman asks shouldn’t I pick up the shit and I ask him if he has a bag to pick it up with and he says he doesn’t and I say I don’t either and so I kick some snow, powdery white snow, over the dogshit

  Yes it’s sure been snowing, The Handyman says

  It’s not often it snows in Bjørgvin, he says

  No, I say

  Pretty unusual actually, he says

  But it’s nice with the new snow, he says

  Nice and white, he says

  Yes, I say

  and then we stand there and look blankly at all the whiteness and neither of us says anything

  Even when it’s dark out, it glows when there’s new white snow, The Handyman says

  It’s a little like daytime even though it’s night, he says

  Yes it is nice, I say

  But in Bjørgvin the snow never stays long, he says

  No, it’ll get rained away soon, I say

  and The Handyman asks where I live and I say I live in Dylgja

  Is it the same there? he says

  Yes, yes, one day it snows and the next day it rains, I say

  It turns into dirty snow and slush, I say

  Right, The Handyman says

  Not to mention when it turns icy, he says

  Right, the first thing that happens is it ices over, I say

  and then we start walking towards his car and I call Bragi and then the dog comes jumping towards me

  So the dog’s name is Bragi, The Handyman says

  Yes, I say

  Bragi, right, he says

  Yes, Bragi’s his name, I say

  Tomorrow it’ll rain again, The Handyman says

  Yes, yes, it will, I say

  That’s how it always is, he says

  There’s never a real winter in Bjørgvin, there’s maybe two days a year when it’s really winter and that’s it, he says

  That’s how it is, he says

  Have you ever lived in Bjørgvin? he says

  Yes, well, I say

  Many years ago, I say

  Did you work in Bjørgvin? he says

  I went to school here, I say

  and I think that The Handyman is so inquisitive he’s probably going to ask what kind of school I went to, but if he does I’ll just say something to make him think it was just a normal school, I think, but he doesn’t ask me anything else and we get to his car and he unlocks it and the dog shakes, shakes the snow off, and I stamp my feet and kick my shoes against each other, to get the snow off, and then I pick up the dog and brush snow off him

  You like dogs? The Handyman says

  Yes, don’t you? I say

  No, he says

  Because one of them bit you? I say

  Probably, he says

  But I never did like them really, he says

  I like cats though, he says

  Me too, I say

  I like dogs and cats both, I say

  But you like dogs the best? he asks

  Well I think more about getting a dog, at least, I say

  You want a dog? The Handyman says

  Yes, I say

  and there’s silence

  But it’s a big responsibility too, having a dog, I say

  and it’s silent again and we get into the car, and I sit with the dog o
n my lap and The Handyman asks me where I want him to take me, to The Country Inn, right? he says and I say he can take me to a place near The Lane and he asks if that’s near where I parked my car and I say yes it is, so he can drop me off there, but I don’t want to tell him where I parked my car because then he’ll start asking me if I know Beyer, if I know rich people in Bjørgvin, the high society, or maybe I’m an artist, or maybe an art collector, he’ll start asking things like that and he says yes all right and I don’t say anything, but no way will I tell him where I parked my car, but I’m lucky to have a regular place to park, it can be really hard to find somewhere to park in Bjørgvin, lots of times the parking space is too small and too narrow for a large car to fit, people always say the spots are itsy-bitsy, I wonder why, you never hear anything called itsy, whatever that is, or bitsy either, whatever that is

  I can do that, The Handyman says

  Do what? I ask

  Drop you near The Lane, he says

  Great, I say

  and then he starts the car and drives and we sit there in silence and then it starts snowing again a little, one snowflake after another falls down through the air and The Handyman turns on the windshield wipers and then he turns them off again, and again snowflakes land on the windshield one by one and he turns the wipers on again

  It’s pretty with the new snow, The Handyman says

  and then we sit there not saying anything, me with the dog in my lap, and Bragi is lying there totally peacefully and it’s nice to feel his warmth, I think and I pet his back again and again and the warmth from the dog does me good, it’s good to feel his fur, I think and it snows and snows and the windshield wipers go back and forth, back and forth, and I see The Beyer Gallery and The Handyman says maybe he can stop here and I say that’s fine and he stops and he asks a little uncertainly if this is where I wanted to be dropped off and I say yes great thanks and then I ask if I should pay for the ride and The Handyman says I shouldn’t and then he says good night and I say yes good night and then I get out and I shut the car door behind me and then I stand there with the dog in my arms and it’s snowing and snowing and I see The Handyman turn the car and drive away down the same street he drove here on, and I think now I should just go over to my car and put the dog in the car and then go on foot to The Country Inn, I’m sure I know the way from The Beyer Gallery to The Country Inn, I’ve learned how to get there, of course I can do that, that was where I was going when I found Asle lying in The Lane, covered with snow, I think, yes, if I can’t even manage this then I shouldn’t be living alone, I think and I see my car parked outside The Beyer Gallery, covered in snow, and as more snow keeps coming down I go over to it and I think I can’t leave the dog in the car, it’s suddenly turned wintry, and maybe he’s never slept alone in a car before? maybe he’ll be scared and spend the whole night yapping or howling and the neighbours will come complain to Beyer and then maybe he won’t want anything more to do with me because of it? and what’ll I do then? where will I show my paintings then? how will I make enough money to live on? I think, and it’s cold out, the dog might be cold, so no, it was not a good idea to think the dog could sleep in the car, but then what can I do with him? I could always drive back to Dylgja now, but I’m so tired, so tired, so it wouldn’t be safe to drive back there tonight, but maybe I can keep the dog with me at The Country Inn? maybe he can sleep in my room? I’ve never had a dog with me there before, and never seen anyone else with one, so bringing your dog probably isn’t allowed, but maybe you can? I can ask in any case, I think, and I tie the leash on him and put him down on the ground and then we start walking across High Street and there’s so much snow on the ground that the dog’s head just barely sticks out above the snow on the pavement, it’s a small dog, but he easily pushes his way through the loose powdery snow, with his snout in the air, and I march ahead, and then we start walking down The Lane and I think that’s lucky, it may be snowing hard but it’s not far to The Country Inn, I think, and now I need to go straight to The Country Inn because I’m tired, so tired I feel like I might collapse too, I think, and it’s snowing and snowing, it’s not a flurry any more it’s really snowing, with a wind too, you might say it’s practically a snowstorm, I think and I think that with all the snow coming down being blown by the wind it’s hard to see where you are, but I’ve walked from The Lane to The Country Inn so many times that I could find my way to The Country Inn even if it were pitch black and impossible to see anything, I think, so if it’s snowing too hard to see anything that doesn’t matter, because it’s not far now, we’re almost there, I think and I walk and I look at the dog ploughing through the snow and it looks like he’s getting a bit tired too, he’s puffing and panting hard, since he is just a small dog, and getting on in years, so I stop and pick the dog up and then keep walking with the dog in my arms and I’m not thinking anything and it’s snowing and snowing and there’s no one in sight and it’s snowing and snowing, but it’s not far to The Country Inn, you just take the first right at the end of The Lane, and I’ve done that, then you get to an intersection and go down that street, and I’ve done that, but I don’t see it anywhere, The Country Inn with The Coffeehouse on the ground floor, so did I go too far? maybe I walked past the first intersection, which I should’ve gone down? I think, it feels like I went too far since it’s really not far from The Lane to The Country Inn, but I can’t have gone the wrong way, can I? it’s impossible, it’s unbelievable! I’ve walked from The Lane to The Country Inn so many times, I don’t even know how many times, you just walk down The Lane and take a right and go down the first street you get to and you can see The Country Inn down on The Wharf, and I took a left and crossed and went down a street but I can’t see The Country Inn, and I’ve never had to walk this far, I don’t think, so I must have gone the wrong way somehow, since I couldn’t see where I was going because it was snowing so much, I think and I stop and I try to figure out where I am, but damned if I know, I can’t remember ever being on this street before, there is nothing about it I recognize, to the extent that I can see anything at all in this blizzard, but it’s just unbelievable that I couldn’t manage to get from The Lane to The Country Inn, I did the same thing I’ve always done, walked the same way I’ve always walked, or did I do something different? I haven’t seen The Country Inn today since it started snowing, have I? but, no, I must have gone the wrong way, so I just need to turn around and go back the same way I came, I think, and I start going back along the same street, and now I’ll be at The Country Inn any minute, I think, and I keep walking with Bragi in my arms and it’s snowing and snowing and the wind is blowing, that too, yes, it’s a real snowstorm now, I think and I think now I better run into someone soon so I can ask them the way to The Country Inn, I think, or else if a taxi drives by I can hail it and take the taxi to The Country Inn, yes, it doesn’t matter how short the ride is, I think and I keep walking and I think anyway I’m sure to run across someone soon, I think, or else a taxi is sure to come driving by, but there’s no one in sight, no people and no cars, it’s snowing so much that people are probably staying indoors and that’s why there are no taxis either, I think, but I just have to run across someone or other soon, or a taxi, because I need to get to The Country Inn, on foot or by car, and get a room there, because there’s surely a room free at The Country Inn, and some of the people working at the reception there have worked there for so many years and they’ll recognize me, and that’s also partly why I always stay at The Country Inn, yes, it feels a little bit like coming home when I arrive there, a little like that, I think and I should have gone straight to The Country Inn, but I seem to have gone the wrong way somehow, I think and I’m really tired, anyway I’m definitely too tired to drive home to Dylgja, because even if I like driving it would be totally reckless to drive now, and I’m a careful driver, at least I try to be, and driving while I’m exhausted is not a good idea, after having driven a car for many years I know that you have to be alert, to pay attention, that might be the mos
t important thing, you have to realize that something unexpected can happen at any moment, and be prepared for it, yes, you need to be able to see the future so to speak, since deer can suddenly appear in front of your car, in a flash a deer leaps out onto the road, and in the dark too usually, or at dusk, or dawn, something unexpected can always happen, yes, and often does happen too, I think, you have to know if a car is coming around a bend and know if it’s going to stay on its side of the road, and if it doesn’t you need to be prepared for that, maybe even slow down to almost a stop and wait for the car to come around the turn, and the roads that go from Instefjord and to Dylgja, or from in on Sygnefjord out towards Sygne Sea, I bet one of them is the most narrow and winding road in all of Norway, because I’ve driven a lot in Norway, yes, when Ales was alive we drove all over the Nordic countries, Sweden and Denmark too, and Iceland, and the Faroe Islands, and Finland, but I don’t think I’ve ever driven roads like these anywhere, so narrow, with so many sharp turns, and when the weather’s bad too, as it often is of course, yes, after a heavy rain that leads to flooding, rain that comes off the cliffsides and steep hills and floods the roads, yes, then there’re holes in the road it can be real trouble to drive over, otherwise I like driving, to tell the truth there’s not much that makes me happy any more but driving makes me happy, I think as I push ahead through the snow on the pavement, with Asle’s dog Bragi in my arms, at my breast, and I think about how lots of times while driving the roads between Instefjord and Dylgja just for the fun of it I’ve thought that a car is just about to come around a bend or else that there’s no car, like I was seeing the future, and every single time my prediction was right, when I thought a car was coming a car came and when I thought no car was coming no car came, I’ve tested it so many times that it got kind of boring since I was right every single time, or maybe I was wrong once or twice but I was right so often that eventually testing my predictions was no fun and I stopped doing it, but obviously I know that being able to predict things is very important for driving safely, and I’m good at driving safely, but not at finding my way, especially in cities, but in general, finding the right way to walk or drive when I’m somewhere unfamiliar is something I’m terrible at, I always walk or drive the wrong way, it’s just as inevitable as my being able to predict whether or not a car is going to come around a bend, and now isn’t that strange? mysterious? I think, and I think that even after living in Bjørgvin for several years I didn’t know the city any better, and still couldn’t find my way around, no, I’m almost always wrong but not quite always, I think and that’s why I always go down the same streets and alleys again and again, I’ve found my paths through the city so to speak, for example from where I park my car in front of The Beyer Gallery, across High Street, down The Lane, and from there to The Alehouse, or The Country Inn, I think, so I can’t have walked completely the wrong way, I must have made a little mistake, and if only someone would walk by I could ask them the way, there has to be someone or another out walking, even at night, that I could ask? but I don’t see anyone and anyway it’s a good thing I’m in a city at least and not out in the middle of the mountains, not to mention at sea, I think, yes, yes, I think, today I need to figure it out myself since there’s no one anywhere in sight and no taxi either, because what usually happens is that I run into someone who shows me the way or I hail a taxi and it takes me where I’m going, that’s how it usually works, I get lost, go in the totally wrong direction, away from where I’m trying to go, I stop people on the street and ask them to tell me how to get where I’m going, and people are nice and helpful and they point and tell me where I should go, go there and then there, but then I get lost again anyway, so I have to ask the next person I meet, it’s pretty much the same as it was with numbers when I was going to school, it turned out wrong no matter what I did or didn’t do, it came out wrong anyway, and I’m still like that with numbers, it’s almost like not being able to do maths and not being able to find my way are related, but they can’t be, can they? because a sense of direction and mathematical aptitude are very different, aren’t they? but the one thing I know for sure is that I have neither, I have no sense of direction and no mathematical aptitude, yes I think that’s the term the The Schoolmaster used, you have no mathematical aptitude, he said, something like that, mathematical aptitude, it was probably a term that The Schoolmaster had come up with himself, mathematical aptitude, but sense of direction is a normal term and I don’t have that either, obviously, because now I’ve already been walking for a long time, much longer than it should take to get from where the car is parked in front of The Beyer Gallery to The Country Inn, that’s for sure, for all I know I’ve been walking in circles and I’m about to be right back at The Beyer Gallery, that would be the best case, actually, and it must be because it’s snowing so hard, yes, it’s a real blizzard, and it’s hard to see, and I walked the wrong way, there can’t be any other explanation since I’ve walked this way so many times before, but I’ve really managed to get lost today, I’ve been walking so long now, much longer than it usually takes to walk from The Beyer Gallery to The Country Inn, but maybe I can put the dog down and he’ll go back to The Beyer Gallery and I can follow him? he might, maybe he can smell the way we took? I think and I put Bragi down and he just stands there and looks up at me with his dog eyes and then I shake the leash a little and I say go Bragi, walk, and then the dog starts walking and he goes the opposite way from how we were walking, he goes back and I follow him, because I can’t think of any other way to find out where we’re supposed to go, I think, so I just trust that the dog will go back to The Beyer Gallery, I think, because anyway we’re nowhere near The Country Inn, that’s for sure, I think, but that doesn’t mean, as far as I can tell, that we’re getting closer to The Beyer Gallery, there’s nothing I recognize about the buildings I can glimpse through the snow coming down so hard, but at least the wind has let up a little so now it’s just a heavy snowfall, not a blizzard, I think, and even though I’ve been walking for a long time, at least that’s how it feels, I haven’t passed a single other person and I’ve only seen a couple of cars drive by, no taxis, and if only a taxi would drive by I could hail it, I think, and what a fool I was not to have The Handyman drive me to The Country Inn, why did I ask him to drive me to The Lane? what kind of idea was that? was it because I didn’t want him to know that I was going to stay at The Country Inn? I think, but I’d already told him I was going to stay there, I think, yes, I had, but for some reason or another I asked The Handyman to take me to The Lane, I think, following the dog, and if the dog is heading somewhere then it must probably be back to The Beyer Gallery, right? I think, because he probably can’t smell a path anywhere else? I think, but it’s terrible to watch the dog pushing his way through the snow on the pavement, with his snout up, he’s puffing and wheezing, and I walk along behind him and he’s going uphill and it’s pretty steep and I think now surely someone has to turn up soon and I can ask them the way? or a taxi I can hail will turn up? I’m in Bjørgvin after all, despite everything, Norway’s second biggest city, I think, but it’s not an easy city to find your way around, that must be said, and now where am I? no, I have no sense at all of where we are, but anyway I don’t think we’re heading towards The Beyer Gallery, I think, and then I think that if I just go downhill towards the sea I’ll be able to find The Country Inn, because it’s on the water, along The Bay, I think, it’s even on The Wharf, yes, but now what direction should I go in to get to the water? I think, because now I’m following the dog uphill, but that was a bad idea, I think, because to get to the sea we need to go downhill, so now I’ll turn around and go back downhill, despite everything, that must be better than wandering around after a dog uselessly hoping that he’s heading back to The Beyer Gallery, I think, because we have to go in one direction or another and if we go downhill we’ll eventually get to the water somewhere, I think, and I shake the leash and the dog stops and then I start walking in the opposite direction, downhill, and now I’m
walking in the footprints the dog and I have made in the snow, and with the dog at my heels, but it’s still snowing and it must be tiring for the dog walking there with his snout in in the cold winter air to keep it above the snow, and I look at the dog and then Bragi walks past me and he keeps going, you have to give him that, Bragi, yes, and now the snow isn’t falling so hard and there, there’s someone walking towards me, thank goodness, there is finally someone here and I go over to the person walking a little to one side and I say excuse me, excuse me, but I’m from the country and I think I’ve managed to get lost in the city and a woman looks back at me from under a thick white knit cap covered with snow and she asks me where I’m trying to get to and there’s something familiar about her voice and I say I’m going to The Country Inn, the hotel, The Country Inn, yes, I say and she says yes well in that case I’m going in the exact wrong direction, she says and she laughs and then I see that it’s the woman who was sitting alone at a table at Food and Drink, who recognized me, and I sort of recognized her too in a way, yes, it’s definitely her, the woman called Guro, or maybe Silje? and she was sitting drinking wine at Food and Drink the whole time until now, yes, she must be really drunk by now, I think and I say I thought I should go downhill because The Country Inn is on the water, and if I just get to the water I’d find my way to The Country Inn, I say and she says yes, I might think that, sure, but it’s really not the right way, for all she knows I could have ended up in Denmark Square as easily as The Country Inn, she says and it’s not easy to go along the water either, it’s not so simple, there are too many places where you can’t follow the edge of the water, she says, well anyway, she says, it wasn’t so easy for her to find her way around Bjørgvin either when she first lived here, it took quite a long time before she was sure she knew where she was going, but now, after so many years in Bjørgvin, yes, now it’s easy, she can’t claim to know every last nook and cranny, every last itsy-bitsy lane and alley, but still she at least knows what direction to go in to get to this or that place, and I, yes, I ought to know better, because I used to lived in Bjørgvin for many years myself, even if it was a long time ago, she says, but anyway I’m not heading towards The Country Inn now, that’s for sure, it’s down on The Wharf and I’m walking in the exact opposite direction, so I should go with her, she’s going the same way, she says, because she’s going home, and as I know perfectly well she lives at 5, The Lane, near The Country Inn, she says and I think now that’s strange, running into Guro or whatever her name is now, the same woman as was sitting at Food and Drink when I was there, and I thank her, I say thank you very much and then I start walking downhill again, walking next to her