The Other Name

by Jon Fosse

  Can’t we keep going? he says

  Okay, Sister says

  You’re not tired any more, he says

  No, my feet are a little less tired, Sister says

  and then they get up and Sister takes Asle’s hand and they walk on and they see The Bakery up ahead and then The Dairy, Asle thinks, and they’ll have to go up the path to The Bakery to get to The Co-op Store, past all the bottles, past the pile, yes, mountain of bottles, and then up to the country road, and once they’re up there they’ll be able to see The Co-op Store, and it’s not so far to walk from The Bakery to The Co-op Store

  Can’t we turn around and go back now? Sister says

  No, Asle says

  I’m scared, she says

  There’s nothing to be scared of, Asle says

  Yes there is, Sister says

  What? Asle says

  If we go to The Co-op Store we’ll have to walk past the big yellow house, the one next to The Dairy, Sister says

  And that’s where The Bald Man lives, without a single hair on his head, in the big yellow house, she says

  He looks so scary, she says

  Yeah, Asle says

  And he’s the one children have to watch out for, you said so yourself, Sister says

  Yeah, Asle says

  and they walk carefully, step by step, up the path towards The Bakery

  That bad noise is gone now, Asle says

  and Sister nods

  And there’s the mountain of bottles, Asle says

  and he points

  Yeah, Sister says

  and then she says that it’s really not worth looking at, a mountain of empty bottles, she says and Asle says maybe not but they’re empty bottles of alcohol, he says, because The Baker and The Baker’s Wife both drink, and when they drink they don’t stop, and then they bake lopsided bread but they bake even when they’ve been drinking and are drunk, because when people drink alcohol they get drunk, and then they’re not always steady on their feet when they walk and sometimes they shake and anyway the bread that The Baker and The Baker’s Wife bake then always comes out lopsided but what they bake when they haven’t been drinking is straight and nice, he says and Sister nods and then she says that she wants to go home, now they’re almost at the country road where Mother has said so many times that they can’t walk by themselves and the hill is so steep and she’s so tired, she says, and she sits down on the grass and then Asle sits down too next to her and they just sit there and they don’t say anything and then Sister says that she can hear a voice and Asle says he can’t hear anything and Sister says okay I guess not and Asle thinks that they need to keep going, it’s boring just sitting like this, he thinks and he gets up and then he holds his hand out to Sister and she takes his hand and he almost yanks her onto her feet and then she stands there and she says she can hear voices, but they’re far away, and Asle says he can’t hear anything and then he almost drags Sister after him up to The Bakery and up to the country road and Sister says they’re not allowed to walk on the country road here, both Mother and Father have told them that over and over again, she says and Asle says that’s true and then someone behind them says look at that, two kids out for a walk and they turn around

  Look who’s here, The Baker says

  Maybe your mother sent you to buy some bread? he says

  Maybe you’re big enough now to run errands for your mother and buy some bread? he says

  What clever children, The Baker says

  and they just stand there

  Or maybe you’ve just gone out for a walk? he says

  and the door to The Bakery opens and The Baker’s Wife comes out

  Well I never, look who’s here, she says

  They’re probably out for a walk, The Baker says

  But their mother doesn’t let them walk here, The Baker’s Wife says

  No, The Baker says

  Probably not, he says

  and he goes over to them and then he puts one hand on Asle’s shoulder and one on Sister’s shoulder and then he says that the two of them need to go straight home to their mother right now, she must be worried about them by now, she must be scared, The Baker says

  I’m sure she is, The Baker’s Wife says

  and then she says wait a second and she goes inside and comes back out almost right away and she comes walking up to them and she holds out her hands to them with a roll in each hand

  Nice children like you deserve a roll, The Baker’s Wife says

  But only if you go right home to your mother, she says

  Thank you, thank you very much, Asle says

  Yes, thank you, thank you, Sister says

  Don’t mention it, nice children like you, The Baker’s Wife says

  Nice children, yes, The Baker says

  But now you need to go home to your mother, really, The Baker’s Wife says

  I’m sure she’s scared and worried about you, she says

  And maybe she’s already gone looking for you, she says

  Because I’m sure you’re not allowed to walk on the road alone, The Baker’s Wife says

  We went along The Shore, Sister says

  And you definitely aren’t allowed to do that, The Baker’s Wife says

  To go down to the water, she says

  I’m sure you’re not, she says

  and Asle and Sister both start eating their rolls and they must have been hungry because they bite and chew and The Baker’s Wife asks if the rolls taste good and Asle and Sister say yes at the same time and with their mouths full and The Baker says he’s glad they taste good and Asle thinks that as long as The Baker and The Baker’s Wife are there they can’t go to The Co-op Store, because both of them, The Baker and The Baker’s Wife, said they have to go back home to Mother, that she’s worried about them, and that she doesn’t let them walk alone like this, and that’s true, but they haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just Mother who thinks they have, and it’s only because she’s always so scared about them, she gets scared and worried about everything in the world, they’re not allowed to do anything, not walk down to the country road, down to The Boathouse or The Shore, nothing, they’re not allowed to do anything, all they can do is stay home, inside or out in front of the house, nowhere else, ever, Asle thinks, and it’s only because Mother’s always so worried about everything, he thinks, and then he hears a voice inside himself, it’s Mother telling Father that that’s not true and then he says that it is true, they’re not allowed to walk down to the road, or to the water, that’s how it is, he says and Mother says you hear that, you hear that, Father is saying the same thing she is, Mother says, Asle thinks and there, over there, that can’t be Mother running up to them, no, no, now they’ll get caught and once they get home they’ll be yelled at and he’s the one who’ll be yelled at and Mother comes running up towards them and she looks scared and it looks like she’s been crying and she comes towards them and Asle doesn’t understand, was she really that scared about them, he thinks, no, in that case they never should have done what they did, he thinks and then Mother puts her arms around him and Sister and hugs them both against her and then out of breath she says to The Baker and The Baker’s Wife that, that, that, have they heard yet? have they heard that he drowned? that the boy from The Headland Farm, Bård, the boy the same age as Asle, was just found drowned, just now, she was going up The Beach, because she didn’t know where Sister and Asle were and then she got scared that they’d gone down to the water and she went down to The Beach to look for them but they weren’t there, then she went up along The Beach and when she got past Boathouse Hill and out by The Headland she saw a crowd of people on The Beach below The Headland Farm and she saw that The Doctor’s car was parked up there in front of The Headland Farm and she went over to the people there and then she saw Bård lying on The Beach, no, she can see it now, it’s too horrible, Mother says and she lets go of Asle and Sister and covers her eyes and then hugs them to her body again and then Mother says that a woman, she c
an’t think of her name right now, it doesn’t matter anyway, this woman, yes, said, said, this woman told her that as she was walking past The Headland Farm, on the road, over there, Mother says and she points, she looked down at The Fjord and saw something floating in the water next to the rowboat that belongs to The Headland Farm people and it looked like a little person, and then she ran and knocked at the door and the mother was home and then the two of them ran down to The Beach and when they got to The Beach the mother saw that it was her son Bård lying there floating in the water

  It’s Bård, she’d said

  and then Bård’s mother waded out into the cold water and started swimming until she got to Bård and somehow she got him onto land and then she picked him up and held him to her breast and she carried him onto the hill of The Beach and he wasn’t breathing and he was lifeless and she, yes, she, when she saw the lifeless boy she thought she should go call The Doctor and she ran up to the house at The Headland Farm and looked up The Doctor’s phone number and dialed it and he said he’d come right away and that they had to try to blow air into the boy, put your mouth against his mouth and blow air in, and when he’s breathed it out blow more in, The Doctor had said, something like that, and she’d run back down to The Beach and then she’d taken a deep breath and blown it into Bård’s mouth, again and again, she’d, she couldn’t remember her name, she’d kept doing that with the breathing until The Doctor came and then The Doctor had done the same thing and pushed hard, both on Bård’s stomach and on his heart, and he kept doing that for a long time but Bård was still lying there lifeless and eventually The Doctor looked up, yes, up at the sky, and he’d said Bård was dead, he’d drowned, that woman told Mother, and Mother saw Bård lying dead on the hill and she can see it now and it’s too horrible, she says and Mother squeezes her eyes shut and then Mother says she’d started thinking where were her own two children? could they have drowned too? it’d been a while since she’d seen them and then she’d run towards home and out onto The Dock but nobody was there and she’d looked in the water around The Rowboat and she couldn’t see anyone in the water and then she’d run back down along The Beach and then then she’d run up to the country road and she was running faster than she’d ever thought she could, Mother says, and now after running all over here they were, here were Asle and Alida, yes, both of them, and they were alive, they were alive, and she couldn’t believe it, they were alive, they were alive, Mother says and she starts crying again and then she presses Asle and Sister hard against her, so hard that it hurts, Asle thinks, and he tries to get loose but then Mother just holds them even tighter, yes, she’s holding them so tight, so hard, that they almost can’t breathe, Asle thinks and he hears The Baker’s Wife say she can’t believe it, so young, just six or so and now he’s drowned, he hadn’t started school yet anyway, and now drowned, no, it’s too terrible, The Baker’s Wife says and Asle looks at The Baker just standing there staring and staring at nothing

  Little Bård from The Headland Farm is drowned, he says

  No, impossible, I don’t believe it, he says

  It’s unbelievable, Mother says

  He probably just wanted to go on their boat, The Baker says

  and Mother says he’d pulled the rowboat in and got on board and then pulled the rowboat out and then he’d fallen into the water somehow, into the cold water, and he couldn’t swim, and then he hadn’t been able to get back on board the boat, that’s how it must have happened, Mother says and she says that when she was a girl the same thing happened to a boy in her class, he was out fishing and he fell into the water and then they found him drowned, and after he’d been in the water so long, Mother says, and The Baker says it’s too horrible he can’t believe this has happened

  It’s unbelievable, The Baker’s Wife says

  There are no words for it, The Baker says

  No, there aren’t, Mother says

  No, no, no, she says

  and she hugs and hugs Asle and Sister to her and Mother says that when she couldn’t find Asle or Sister she got so scared, more scared than she’d ever been in her life, because by that point she was sure they’d been out in the rowboat with Bård from The Headland Farm and they’d fallen into the water too and were lying on the bottom, on the shelf underwater, Mother says, and then here they both were, Asle and Alida, outside The Bakery, large as life, and never, no, nothing she had ever seen had made her happier than seeing her two children standing there large as life, each eating a roll, Mother says and the tears are pouring down her cheeks and she lets go of them and wipes the tears off her cheeks with her hands and away from her eyes with the backs of her hands

  Yes, I gave them rolls, The Baker’s Wife says

  And then I said that they had to go home, because their mother doesn’t let them go for walks alone like this, she says

  and Mother says no of course not

  These children don’t do what they’re told, she says

  and then she laughs with pure joy between her tears and then she says it was probably Asle who decided to do it, but now, no, now she’s so happy, so relieved, that she can’t be angry, and anyway now, yes, now she just wants to go home, get her children back into the house, she says and The Baker’s Wife says she can have a few more rolls to take with her and then The Baker’s Wife goes into The Bakery

  No, it’s beyond belief, The Baker says

  No, Mother says

  It’s just too terrible, The Baker says

  Yes, Mother says

  and then they just stand there and then The Baker’s Wife comes out with a brown bag

  Have some rolls, she says

  and she hands the bag to Mother

  Okay thanks thank you, she says

  and then Mother takes the brown bag and Asle thinks that this bag is yet another brown colour and then Mother grabs Asle’s hand with one hand, the one she’s holding the brown bag of rolls with, and she grabs Sister’s hand with her other hand and then Mother says now they’re going to go home and get back inside safe and sound and they stand there not moving

  What horrible news, The Baker’s Wife says

  Unbelievable, I can’t believe it, The Baker’s says

  I don’t understand it, he says

  I can’t believe it, The Baker’s Wife says

  How can God let something like that happen? The Baker says

  How can a good God let something like that happen? he says

  There is no God, The Baker’s Wife says

  Not a good God anyway, she says

  Or not a God who’s all-powerful anyway, The Baker says

  I believe that the little boy is with God now, he’s resting with God, Mother says

  Yes, he is, The Baker says

  He’s at peace with God now, the boy is, he says

  Bård, yes, The Baker’s Wife says

  and then they just stand there and Asle feels Mother gripping his hand so hard that it hurts and he shakes his hand a little and Mother loosens her grip a little

  We have to believe that he’s at peace with God now, Mother says

  and then she turns around and they start to go up to the country road and after they get to the road they start walking up the road and they can see their house and Asle thinks that Bård, from The Headland Farm, is drowned, he’s dead, he’s gone forever, he’ll never talk to him again, and he can’t understand it, because it’s only old people who die and are gone forever, not children, children don’t die, Asle thinks, he didn’t think they could, and dying, being gone forever, was something so far in the future that you couldn’t even see it, Asle thinks and he hears Mother say that she has never been as happy as she was when she saw them, never ever in her whole life has she felt that happy, felt such joy, she says

  I was so happy I could’ve jumped for joy, Mother says

  and then she jumps and she starts laughing

  When we get home I’m going to make hot chocolate for you two and then we’ll eat these rolls and drink chocolate, she says
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  and Asle thinks that sure he can eat the rolls and drink the hot chocolate but he doesn’t really like them, no, but he can’t say something like that, he couldn’t tell The Baker’s Wife when she was trying to be nice and giving him and Sister a roll, all he could do was take it and eat it and say it tasted good, and now he’ll probably have to do the same thing when they get home, even if Mother knows full well that he doesn’t like hot chocolate, or rolls, but she’s probably not remembering anything like that now, he thinks, because anyway she likes rolls and hot chocolate, Asle thinks and I sit here in my car and I look straight ahead and I’m already at Instefjord and I start driving slowly up Sygnefjord and I drive carefully and I think that actually I didn’t want a driving licence or a car and now I like driving, I think, and Father was the same way, he didn’t want a car, but Mother kept bringing it up, again and again, she said how great it would be to have a car and then Father says yes and Mother says in that case they should do it soon and actually buy a car and Father nods

  Can’t you get a driving licence? Mother says

  and Father says he supposes he could, but he doesn’t know if he can afford to buy a car, he’s just about getting by with his orchard and his boatbuilding out in The Shed, and it’ll be expensive to get a driving licence, and even more expensive to buy a car, and however good the fruit harvest is, however many kroner it brings in, and however many boats he builds and however good and beautiful they are, no, it doesn’t add up to all that many kroner, he said, they managed, yes, they got by, but was there really any way to lay out all that money and buy a car? no, he really doesn’t know, Father said and Mother said they had to be able to manage it the same as everybody else, they weren’t any worse off than other folks, she said and Father said that he wasn’t sure he could afford to buy a car, he just wasn’t, and Mother said she was sure he could do it and Father said yes well and then he’d have to find the time, he was so busy, he had so much to do, he’d have to build quite a lot of boats that winter for them to manage it and then in the spring the fruit trees’d have to be tended to and trimmed and fertilized, and sprayed, and the summer is when it’s easiest to sell boats, because everyone with a cabin by the water needs a boat, and then comes fall and all the fruit needs to be picked and sorted and packed and sold, Father says, and he doesn’t know how he’s been able to do it, he says and Mother says yes, it’s a lot to do, you work hard, but it would really be great to have a car, and more and more people in Barmen have cars now, yes, half the families their age in Barmen have bought cars, or almost half anyway, yes, she says