Better Off Divorced

by Marianne Hansen

  Paul nodded at my hand. My eyes flicked down at my ring, and then back at Paul.

  “I thought Simon had talked to you and your brothers before he asked me.”

  Paul pulled at his sweatshirt. “He did.”

  “And you told him yes.” I felt a pit develop in my stomach.

  “I did.”

  “Are you taking it back?” I held my breath.

  “Nah.” He pulled away from me a little. “I like Simon.” He flipped his bangs out of his eyes. “But how do you know he won't do the same thing?”

  “Cheat on me?”

  “Yeah,” Paul said. “It seems like relationships don’t mean shit.”

  “Hey.” I tried to sound stern.

  “What?” Paul asked. “Is there a Shakespearean word for that too?”

  “No,” I said. “I’m pretty sure ‘shit’ is from the oldest of English, but this is when I act like every other parent and tell you not to speak like that. You’re more intelligent than that.”

  “Using the word ‘ca-ca’ doesn’t make you sound more intelligent, Mom.”

  I looked at him and pursed my lips. “You’re right. Fine. You can use the word ‘shit’ but only after you’re eighteen and allowed to vote.”

  He snickered. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  I thought for a moment. “I would like to say that Simon would never do anything like that. And I don’t believe he will. Simon is a better man than your father. Maybe I’m not supposed to say that, but I’m being truthful. Everyone has weaknesses and no one is perfect, but I am pretty sure that isn’t one of his weaknesses.”

  Paul nodded his head a few times. “He does have faults, that’s true.”

  “Hey! That’s my brand new and therefore perfect fiancé you’re talking about. What fault could he possibly have?”

  Paul looked away, but I could see him smile. “He runs really slow, Mom. I mean, it’s pathetic how slow he is.”

  I scuffed his blond hair. “How do you think I caught him?”

  3

  Paul left and I corrected half of the papers on my desk, I looked up at the clock. I probably should’ve called the deli earlier, but I knew I wouldn't go back to grading papers if I had.

  Rebecca had picked a deli she’d known when she went to high school—the place kids went when they ditched class or after a game. I wasn’t sure if being a favorite hangout was a good recommendation for a caterer, but Rebecca thought it would be a nice touch. I made sure the desserts came from somewhere else in case certain attendees had never been invited to eat at the deli.

  I called the number for Shallot Mountain Deli. I sighed at the name. I’d never liked shallots.

  “Could I speak with the person in charge of catering?”

  A teen boy’s voice answered, “She may have gone home. It’s hard to know.” His voice cracked on the last word.

  “Could you go look or maybe ask someone?” I hadn’t thought of the manager going home before closing. I knew grading papers was never the right answer.

  The boy said “sure,” then dropped the phone on the counter without placing me on mute. I could hear his voice ask for Cindy. It sounded like he was just standing by the phone and yelling. After a few moments I heard a woman’s voice. “Did you put the phone on hold, or have you been yelling at me while the customer’s been listening?” The boy made some sort of a grunt. I heard Cindy sigh before she put the phone to her ear. “Shallot Mountain,” she said in a sing song voice.

  “Hi. I’m Grace Harper. I’m calling about the order for Clark High School.”

  “Oh, yeah. That one.” Her voice stopped singing. “When is it for again?”

  “It’s this Friday and Saturday. We need sandwiches made for Friday and the meat platters for Saturday.”

  “Huh.” I could hear papers shuffling. “That isn’t what I have down here. I only have an order for meat. Five meat plates for Saturday and fifty-five for Friday.”

  “It should be seven for Saturday and sandwiches for Friday. Who needs fifty-five platters of meat?” My eyes rolled back into my head. “Weren’t you contacted by Rebecca Evans?”

  More paper shuffling. “I see it now. There’s a sticky note but nothing was officially added to the order.”

  “What do I need to do to make it official?” I hoped this food was the best I’d ever had.

  “I need you to come in and sign a new order form.”

  I looked at the clock. This side trip would put me home an hour late. “Can I come by right now and get this fixed?”

  “Well,” Cindy drew the word out. “We close in about twenty minutes. If you could get down here by then, I suppose we could do that.” She sounded unsure.

  “Perfect,” I said with as much happiness as I could put into that one word. “I should be able to be there in fifteen.”

  I hung up before Cindy could tell me they were going to close early today. I grabbed my bag, locked my door, and ran out to the field. Tyler was running laps on the track. I looked around for his coach, but instead, I came face to face with John.

  “Gee, don’t be so happy to see me,” John said. I wondered how I was married to him for so long. He stood with his hands in his jeans’ pockets, slightly hunched over. He had the same buzz cut he’d had his whole life. I was surprised Trudy hadn’t changed it. She’d altered almost everything else. He dressed differently now. He used to always be in old jeans and a T-shirt, but Trudy had thrown all of John’s old clothes away. Now he wore Ralph Lauren polo shirts with dark straight jeans or khakis. He even wore tinted contacts.

  “Sorry. I was looking for Tyler and when I didn’t see him, I was disappointed.” Academy Award nomination number two for the day.

  “Where are you off to?”

  I stopped. John used to hate talking to me. I only called or texted when the kids needed something, but he would take his sweet time replying, if he replied at all. The amount of clothing I purchased because he would refuse to speak to me meant he was thousands of dollars behind in child support. I ignored it because I knew I wouldn’t get it back. I never had an extra dime, but at least I had a little less stress. Yet now he wanted to talk. I was in a hurry. There were meat platters to fix and John was looking at me with puppy dog eyes. I wanted to punch him in the throat.

  I glanced at my watch and sighed dramatically. “I have to go fix some meat platters.”

  “Why are you in charge of meat platters?” He tried to look interested in something no one would be interested in. Trudy must’ve done a number on him.

  I flung my hands around, trying to convey that I didn’t have time to talk. “It’s just something that’s happened, and I need to go tell Tyler and then head off.” When I turned to go, he grabbed my left hand.

  I looked back at him. He was staring at Simon’s ring.

  Oh shit.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  I pulled my hand out of his. “Look. I’m sure you have some questions and although you really have no business to any of the answers, I’m willing to give you some. But not today. Today I have to go fix meat.”

  I walked quickly away from him.

  “Is it that Simon guy?” he called out.

  I didn’t turn around and I didn’t answer. Meat platters were more important to me than John's peace of mind.

  I found Tyler stretching by the stands. His brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. It often amazed me how different Paul and Tyler were, when they were only a year apart.

  He looked up once my shadow came close. “What did Dad have to say?”

  “He hasn't come by to talk to you yet?” I asked.

  “No. He’s been standing by the fence the whole time.”

  “Did he see Paul leave?”

  Tyler pushed his hand over his hair. “I have no idea. I was expecting him to come by once the coach blew the whistle, but he never did. I don't get him.”” He kept stretching.

  I studied Tyler for a moment to see if he needed to talk like Paul did, but Tyler
didn’t seem too bothered that his father was there. I let out the breath I was holding. Tyler came before meat platters. I knew that. I also knew I didn’t want to test whether or not I would put meat platters before him right now.

  “Actually, I came over because I need to run a couple of errands for that amazingly fun and exciting reunion I’m helping with this weekend.”

  “Fun and exciting?” he asked without looking up from his feet.

  “I’m trying to see how powerful positive thinking is.”

  Tyler reached further with his hands. His voice sounded strained. “How’s it going?”

  “I just started right now.” I heard Tyler cough a laugh. “Anyhow, I’ve got to go and fix some meat. Can you get a ride home?”

  “I’m sure someone can give me a lift.” He peered over by the fence. “And I guess there's always Dad.” He didn’t sound thrilled about that option. “James is over there tonight anyhow, right?”

  I nodded. “It’s up to you. You have your phone, right? If there are any problems, call me. The store closes in twenty minutes, so you’d only have to wait a minute.”

  Tyler stood up and grabbed his workout bag. “I’ll be fine, Mom. I know people.”

  “Then I’ll have my people call your people and make sure you make it home okay.” I winked at him.

  He nodded and headed toward the locker room.

  I looked behind me to see if John was going to follow him, but John just stood where he was and waved at me. I nodded back and jogged to my car.

  The parking lot was almost empty when I got to it. I saw John’s beat-up Chevy pickup that he’d had when we divorced. I had thought Trudy would’ve changed this too. Appearances mattered to her. He probably didn’t have enough money to get himself a new one because he spends all his money on her. He’d gotten the truck to help neighbors, but once he’d moved in with Trudy, people found others to call when they needed help. He blamed me for this, but I’d never said anything. I’d let my growing pregnant belly speak for itself.

  I opened the door to my car, a BMW X5 courtesy of Simon, and settled into the driver’s seat. I still marveled I’d let Simon give it to me. He argued he never did give it to me. He was letting me use it since Paul drove mine. Putting my name on the title made sense for insurance purposes. And Simon paying for that insurance somehow made sense as well. Recently, he admitted he wanted to help me out. I thought a BMW was more help than I needed, but I bit down my pride and thanked him. The heated seats and steering wheel convinced me it was my Christian duty to help Simon have selfless charity.

  Simon never mentioned the car being a gift. If I wanted to let Paul drive it, he didn’t complain. He simply held onto the door handle with white knuckles. I only let Paul drive it so he would know how in case of an emergency. I did my best to make sure there was never a BMW-only emergency.

  I loved my car because it cornered well and got me to Shallot Mountain Deli in record time. I had six whole minutes before the store closed. I took a deep breath and opened the door. A woman with curly hair that was escaping from her bandana waited for me behind the counter. She had on a white apron that was stained with mustard and what I guessed was relish.

  “I hope you’re Grace Harper,” the woman said.

  I walked to the counter. There were five empty tables and one with some high school students at it. It looked like they were daring a guy to see how many bags of chips he could get in his mouth at the same time. They were laughing too loudly.

  She took a paper out of a notebook and placed it on the counter. “I need you to fill this out and give me a fifty percent deposit.”

  I put my hand out to shake. “Hi. I'm Grace.”

  She looked at my hand before she shook it. “Cindy.”

  I looked down at the paper. “Can I still get seven platters by Saturday? Or would it be better if I went to a grocery store?”

  Her eyes widened and she put her hands on her hips. “I can get two more. You don’t need to freak out.”

  She obviously spent most of her time with high schoolers. “I’m not freaking out.” I emphasized the word ‘freaking.’ “I want to make sure you’ve got me covered.”

  She turned the paper around and copied the name and date at the top. She waved at it with her pen. “Is all of this correct?”

  I read the paper. “Yep.” I studied the fine print. “Wait. Does the meat platter come with cheese?”

  She glanced up at me. “That's called a cheese platter.”

  “I thought we’d ordered sandwich ingredients.”

  “We’ve only been talking about meat.”

  I wished Rebecca were here. “We’re having sandwich platters on Friday, right? With pre-made sandwiches?”

  “Why do you need sandwich platters on Friday and meat platters on Saturday? That's a lot of meat. What are you planning on doing? Hunter safety courses?”

  “It’s a high school reunion and we want a few sandwiches just in case people are hungry.” I looked down at the paper. “See? It’s only an order for 50 sandwiches. And it looks like four-inch sandwiches at that. Not a big deal.”

  “I had that marked as fifty meat platters for Friday.” Cindy sighed loudly.

  “Why would anyone want that much meat?” I asked.

  “It's not my business to question customers.”

  I looked back down at the original order. “Rebecca said she called, and you had five instead of seven meat platters ordered and now you’re telling me that fifty-five meat platters were ordered and none of them have cheese?”

  Cindy looked back down and turned a page over. I noticed a silk scarf around her right wrist that didn’t go at all with the rest of her ensemble. She glanced back up at me. “This is why it’s important to come in.”

  A potato chip hit me in the back of the head, and I turned around. I heard someone stage whisper, “It's Ms. Harper.” A hush came over the group. I walked over to them.

  “May I help you?”

  They looked down at the table and snickered at each other. Will from my second period class apologized for the flying potato chip and said it wouldn’t happen again. I gave a stern teacher look and walked back over to Cindy.

  Cindy was wiping her hands with her apron. “They’re waiting for their buddy to finish cleaning the back. I used to have Ted clean the front, but it never worked because his friends just trashed it the minute he did anything. Now I have to wait for every employee to leave so I can clean the front myself.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think this would be my life when I left Clark High.”

  I froze. “You went there?” I may have had her in class. I always felt horrible whenever I forgot a student.

  She tipped her head back and closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m actually supposed to go to this reunion.”

  “Really?”

  “I look different now,” she said. “But then I never really fit in. My family has owned this place for twenty years. Kids usually don’t like to hang out with staff.” She shrugged half a shoulder and rubbed her hands on her apron again.

  I tried again to remember having a Cindy with curly hair in my class, but I couldn’t. It can be lonely in high school when you feel like you don't fit in. Maybe that's why she seemed a bit abrasive. I decided it was best to carry on as if she was a favorite student.

  “What did you want to do?” I asked.

  She grimaced. “I wanted to go to New York and work in the flower district.” I must’ve looked shocked because she shook her head slowly at me. “Not what you were expecting? Did you think I wanted to be an actress?”

  “Well, New York City…” I trailed off. “How did you end up here?”

  “My parents asked me to help out more after high school and I felt like I owed them. I dunno. How do any of us end up anywhere?”

  “But you’ll come this weekend.”

  She placed my order in her notebook. “I doubt people want to hang out with the caterer.”

  “I would.”

  “Huh. Maybe. So,
fifty sandwiches and five meat platters.”

  “With some cheese?” I asked sweetly.

  “I can’t do that. I can’t get that much cheese at this short notice.” She winced. “I am sorry. Is it okay? Would I still be welcome?”

  I wanted to cry. Simon would be over in a few minutes, and I was looking forward to a post-engagement tumble. Instead, I was going to have to head to Super Stop and order cheese. I plastered on my fake teacher smile and said, “Of course! Rebecca wanted me to make sure you were coming because this place is such a huge part of high school. It’s a Granbury institution.” I smiled brighter. My mouth ached

  She closed her notebook. “Okay. I'll have all of this ready.”

  “Perfect.”

  I headed to the door. Three more potato chips came sailing past my head.

  4

  I called Simon on the way to Super Stop.

  Once he said hello, I started right in. “I’m going to be home late. I have to buy cheese. Rebecca forgot to ask about cheese. We have all this meat and no cheese.”

  “I don’t get to see you because of cheese?” Simon asked, a hint of a smile in his voice.

  “Wouldn’t you think a meat platter would have cheese?” I asked.

  “I think that's a meat and cheese platter,” Simon said. “Deli owners can be very particular about things like that. I once ordered an olive platter and it came with only one olive on it.”

  This caught me off guard and I laughed. “You did not. Shut up. I know I sound like a stupid whiner, but I was looking forward to coming home and making dinner and pretending we were already married while my ring sparkled on my finger.”

  “Hmmm. That does sound nice. But I bet cheese buying comes in as a close second. It wouldn’t for me, but maybe for you.”

  I laughed again. I was definitely making the right choice saying yes to this man. I hoped he felt the same. “I’ll be quick. I’m just going to order cheddar cheese.”

  “What about the traditional ham and Swiss?”

  “Crud.”

  “I bet they have set cheese platters you can just order.” I could hear movement in the background.