The Afterlife of Alice Watkins 1

by Matilda Scotney

  Dr Grossmith came to the library to check on her and Alice practised her newfound knowledge of formal and informal greetings on him, pleased and proud when he complimented her on her progress. Amelia tested her on her knowledge of the principalities and Alice paid careful attention to Amelia’s lesson on the seat of government, the Tabernacle.

  Alice couldn’t wait to share all she learned with Kelly back at their quarters, but on her return, later that day, found Kelly laying out unfamiliar clothing on the bed.

  “Who’s that for, Kelly?”

  “You, Alice. You’re having dinner with Principal Hardy and the senior statesmen from the Significator.”

  “The Significator? Isn’t that the big spaceship that’s due here soon?” Alice looked at the dress and then to Kelly in dismay. This was not good. No-one mentioned meeting important people.

  Kelly leaned up from her task to point to the viewport. The Significator took up most of the view, and just a quick peep was enough to panic Alice. She didn’t want to have dinner with grand, educated people who worked on enormous starships. She would make a fool of herself like she always did in company and she felt some of her old insecurities resurrecting themselves.

  The day’s fun and knowledge vanished as her level of anxiety grew. This was a huge and confronting development for her.

  “What is it, Alice?”

  “I can’t go to dinner with Principal Hardy and people from that ship! I wouldn’t know what to say. I don’t want to meet senior people!” Alice started to pace and wring her hands.

  “You go to breakfast with Dr Grossmith.” Kelly had been asked by Principal Hardy to try to pacify Alice if she showed concern.

  “But Dr Grossmith is my friend,” Alice reasoned.

  “What about Principal Hardy? He’s the most important man on this station, in high standing with the World Principal herself. You aren’t afraid of him, are you?”

  Alice wasn’t afraid of Principal Hardy, she didn’t even consider his rank and she counted him as a friend too.

  “And you won’t have to say much,” Kelly said, making another attempt to soothe Alice’s fears. “As you know, Principal Hardy likes to talk. You only have to remember your protocol rules.”

  “Rules?” Oh dear. This wasn’t helping Alice’s nerves.

  Kelly sent Alice into the washer, and while she cleaned and moisturised, tested her on the social protocols to be observed when meeting statesmen and principals. In her panic, Alice found she couldn’t remember anything Amelia told her about protocols. She’d get in a muddle and look like an idiot. Alice started to cry, her sobs turning her fair skin red, she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a handful of fibrelettes and wept, her tears soaking through to her hands.

  A few minutes later, after Kelly cooled off the red blotches left on her face from the bout of weeping, and her nose no longer a bright red beacon, Alice sat in front of the image definer, Kelly behind her, going through protocols again and tidying her hair. Alice tried to calm herself and remember the rules.

  “I say ‘Statesman’ or ‘Principal’ and then their name. I hope I don’t get flustered. I’ve only practised on Dr Grossmith and Principal Hardy. These senior officers, Kelly, are they men or women?”

  “Men in this case. You’ll be fine and if you forget what to do, Principal Hardy is there to help.”

  “Why does he want me to go? Why didn’t he ask me if I wanted to first?”

  “I don’t know, Alice. Maybe because you’ll face many new situations when you get back to Earth, situations that might test you, and you can’t avoid meeting people. It may be his thinking, that at least here, under his supervision, he can ease you into more complex social situations. There’s some virtue in that.”

  “I don’t see it.”

  “If he’d asked you first, would you have said ‘yes’?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why, if you hate the idea so much?”

  “Because he’s done so much for me and to say no would be ungrateful.”

  “If he’d told you earlier, you would have had more time to agonise about going, and you do agonise, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do. I’m a worry wart. Will they call me Alice?” Alice was watching Kelly’s reflection behind her, brushing her hair. It seemed her hair would be loose tonight. Kelly slipped so easily back into the role of carer.

  “No, Alice, they’ll call you Dr Langley.”

  “But I’m Alice Watkins.”

  “Only with your friends, anywhere else—” Kelly waved the hairbrush around, “—you are Dr Langley.”

  Kelly stopped for a moment, not wanting to add to Alice’s misery.

  “It won’t be so bad, Alice. Principal Hardy is well able for the military types. He won’t allow anyone or anything to overwhelm you. You may even enjoy yourself.”

  “Military? I thought there wasn’t any war?” Amelia mentioned military when they talked about rank but didn’t elaborate.

  “It’s only a term, Alice, from way back. Starship personnel are always military.”

  Alice appreciated Kelly’s efforts at soothing her fears, but she was more anxious at the prospect of this dinner party than finding herself on a space station next to Saturn. In fact, Saturn felt quite homely now.

  Kelly feared using a term like ‘military’ might have made things worse so she decided it might be prudent to keep quiet. Alice put the new, straight green dress over her head and Kelly tied a gold belt around her waist. Alice stepped into matching trousers and Kelly found earrings that stuck to Alice’s ears without clips, laughing when Alice mentioned they stuck like glue, not knowing what glue was. She placed a delicate chain around her neck but, though Alice thought it too much, didn’t like to refuse. Kelly finished the ordinary outfit with a shawl in the same green with a contrasting ribbon at the hem.

  “It’s got a hood Alice, against the coolness of the station if you’re late back,” Kelly told her.

  Alice didn’t like the clothing. With the hood up, she looked like Maid Marion. It was all the same, green dress, green slacks, green cloak. Green, but she supposed it was a change from the colourless grey. But then, she’d been colourless all her life, apart from the blue rinse. She envied the glorious maroon of Amelia’s uniform.

  “I need the toilet,” Alice said suddenly, turning away and overcome by a desperate need to be alone. She handed the shawl to Kelly and headed toward the washer. To Kelly, the rooms where one performed bodily functions were always called washers, but now, accustomed to Alice’s verbal mannerisms, understood what she meant by ‘toilet’.

  In the washer, Alice stood in horror. There was blood on the inside of her thigh, only a trickle, but blood even so. A period. No wonder she’d been so emotional these past few days. Taking a handful of the soft fibrelettes that served as general wipes, she tucked them between her legs only to find she couldn’t walk normally. She needed knickers, and she needed them now.

  She wiped herself and went back to her room. Kelly had nursed her, cared for her and probably had been involved with all sorts of personal things but this bleeding, Alice didn’t know if it had happened before but, she couldn’t share it, not now.

  “Kelly, I really would like some, um, knickers,” she forced her voice to sound casual. “You know, something to put here…” She outlined the area she wanted to be covered.

  Kelly understood. “I know what they are. Panties. But they’re not hygienic Alice, you’re far better off without them.”

  Alice never discussed periods, believing them to be an unmentionable bodily function. She was relieved when, just after she turned 52, they stopped but even now, though she couldn’t have had one for hundreds of years, she couldn’t talk about them.

  Alice might have to beg. “I’ve tried to do without but, Kelly, I feel a little…bare without them.”

  “Give me a moment. I’ll be back.” She disappeared through the portal, leaving Alice to ponder the foolishness of giving herself dream periods. She always hated them, the
n again, she hadn’t liked ginger hair either and now, she rather liked her hair, but she would never like periods. She hoped Kelly would find knickers, particularly when they didn’t seem to be a popular item. While she waited, Alice walked to the image definer and looked at herself, twisting a little this way and that.

  She looked so much better than she did a few months’ ago, since being able to eat, she’d even put on a little weight, no longer looking as gaunt as the first time she saw herself in the image definer. She didn’t like wearing grey all the time, at least tonight she’d get to wear green, but it set her to wondering what colours would be available on Earth, red with a bit of luck. Pink hopefully as well. Alice liked pink, but it might clash with red hair.

  Kelly came back, with brief grey knickers. Tiny and economical with fabric, they would never have fit her mother’s standards of decency, but they would serve the purpose. If Kelly felt surprised when Alice disappeared back to the toilet to put them on, she didn’t comment. A few of the fibrelettes folded into the crotch of the panties did the trick, and Alice breathed a sigh of relief. Now she just had to get through this evening.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The shuttle from the Principality ship, Significator docked at the station just before 20.00 hours. A hail from Principal Hardy lit up the registry communications visual as the three senior officers readied themselves to disembark. The most senior officer answered.

  “Principal Hardy.”

  “Principal Ryan.”

  “Problem, Hardy?”

  “My apologies, Ryan, I’ve been detained, and won’t be joining you this evening.”

  “That’s a pity, Hardy. We’ll go back to the ship.” Principal Ryan sat down again, prepared to leave.

  “I realise that would serve you very well, Ryan—”

  Principal Ryan made no secret of his dislike for social events.

  “—but this time, I want you to go ahead without me. I’m sending a patient to meet with you, Dr Langley, a young woman who suffered a catastrophic brain injury. She’s been on the station for more than ten years.”

  “Ten years?” Principal Hardy could see second officer Statesman Hennessey’s expression of surprise behind Ryan’s shoulder.

  “Yes, Statesman Hennessey, ten years,” Hardy reiterated. “She requires extensive rehabilitation. I planned to escort her this evening myself, an experiment, to ease her back into social situations if you will. She has almost total impairment of memory and is confused about her identity, but she is pleasant and gracious in company.”

  “I doubt we’re your best choice for such an undertaking, Hardy.” Principal Ryan said with ill-concealed irritation, Hardy was crossing a line here. “Can’t you ‘ease her into social situations,’ with your own officers? Surely that would be more appropriate? We’ve just returned from a year in threshold space and not inclined to entertain.”

  “Even so, Ryan, you are here now, and I would like you to disembark. Don’t ask her about her illness and if she asks questions of you, keep your answers simple and to the point. She doesn’t need ‘entertaining’ but will need an escort, so send one of your officers to collect her from her quarters. Keep the evening short, around one hour and I must stress, she needs to feel at ease, so Ryan, when I say send one of your officers to collect her, I mean send Patrick. Hardy out.”

  Principal Ryan looked up from the registry. His second officer shook his head. He was with Principal Ryan on this.

  “We walked into a trap,” he grumbled.

  “It’s his call,” Ryan made an impatient flick at the registry to shut it down, resigned to staying. “He’s the principal on this station, that’s why he delayed contacting us until we docked, so we would be under his command.”

  They both turned their attention to Statesman Patrick, the Significators First Officer.

  “Looks like you just volunteered,” his superior officer slapped him on the shoulder as they left the shuttle.

  The portal buzzer sounded right on time. Alice sat on the bed, dressed up in her shawl, wishing it was big enough to make her disappear. Kelly jumped up to answer, but the man waiting to be admitted was not Principal Hardy.

  Immaculately uniformed in a lighter shade of grey than those on the station, he was possibly in his early 30s, well over six feet, with dark hair that framed a face more handsome than any face Alice could ever have imagined. The cuffs of his jacket, circled with purple braid showed his seniority but Alice was so busy holding her breath, she forgot how senior.

  With a small bow to Kelly and offering Principal Hardy’s apologies, the spectacular-looking young man turned his attention to Alice and his mouth parted into a glorious, lopsided grin. With a quick nod to Kelly, he approached Alice and spoke through his beautiful smile with a voice clear and precise and with an accent Alice couldn’t place.

  “Dr Langley,” the disarming grin did not leave his lips. “I am Statesman Patrick.”

  His eyes were the most extraordinary shade of blue and she studied him for a second before dropping her gaze in embarrassment.

  A Statesman? Not a King or a Prince? Alice had such an urge to curtsy. He was just so... well, grand and important-looking!

  “My goodness, young man—oh, I mean,” Alice heard herself babbling, she struggled to remember the protocols.

  “Yes, of course, Statesman Patrick.” How on earth does one so old and foolish make a good impression in the presence of perfection? But the young man simply waited as she collected her thoughts.

  Kelly watched, amused. This wasn’t the first time she’d seen Statesman Patrick turn a woman to jelly.

  “I didn’t realise this was so formal,” Alice glanced across at Kelly, feeling totally inadequate in such company and suspecting her fears about the evening were about to be realised.

  “Not formal at all, Dr Langley, I assure you,” Statesman Patrick didn’t lose his grin nor take his eyes from her face, “but an officer’s dress code for any social event is dictated by overwrought military protocols. You are most appropriately dressed. A credit to your carer.”

  He turned to Kelly to acknowledge her efforts. He must be around Steven’s age, Alice thought, wishing Steven had taken more care with his speech and manners.

  Statesman Patrick tucked Alice’s hand through his arm and guided her through the portal. Alice glanced back at Kelly, trying to communicate her terror but Kelly paid no attention. Statesman Patrick was a perfect choice to set Alice at ease once she got over the initial reaction of meeting him, but Kelly still felt Principal Hardy had thrown Alice to the wolves, and hoped for Alice’s sake, he’d made the right decision.

  Alice tried to stay calm. She listened as Statesman Patrick told her Principal Hardy was detained and wouldn’t be attending, advising he would apologise personally at the next opportunity and instead, had asked if an officer from the Significator would escort her to dinner, that happy task fell to him, he added with a smile.

  Statesman Patrick walked at the pace Alice set. Her fear slowed her, and she wished she could ask him to take her back to her quarters. But that would be rude. She thought about the fibrelettes stuffed in her panties, what if one fell out? What if they all fell out?

  This was such an ordeal, she found it hard to concentrate. Statesman Patrick made general comments about Saturn Station, the planet, Principal Hardy, and appeared not to notice her awkwardness. Alice mustered a quiet “yes” or a nod in agreement here and there, but untroubled by her responses and obviously adept at answering his own questions, Statesman Patrick even laughed at his own answers. Alice was sure he would think her stupid; this incredible young man.

  Ill-equipped for this, Alice’s private response was to be cross with Principal Hardy for placing her in such a situation. And what was she thinking, noticing that Statesman Patrick was so handsome? Feeling sick with nerves, shyness and bewilderment, she prayed the evening would hurry and be over quickly.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Alice imagined and feared a large dinner table with lot
s of people standing around and going by Statesman Patrick’s appearance, all grander and far more refined than she.

  Historically, Alice suffered nerves when eating in company and invariably, would slop something or make a noise with a drink or choke on food, so a dinner party was the stuff of nightmares. She found social jaunts to cafés with Michelle for cake and coffee and breakfast or tea with Dr Grossmith or Principal Hardy, simple and manageable.

  They stopped at a portal. Statesman Patrick turned and smiled that smile.

  “We’re here. Ready?”

  She raised her eyes but still felt too shy to look right at him.

  “I’m a little nervous, Statesman Patrick.”

  “Don’t be.” He dropped his voice to a whisper and leaned towards her ear, “Statesman Hennessey is an old woman and Principal Ryan, well, Principal Ryan is just stuffy.” He stressed the ‘s’ of stuffy and wrinkled up his nose. Alice had to smile. Such a nice young man. His mum and dad must be so proud.

  But it wasn’t a party. The table, quite as large as Alice pictured, was only been set for four places, away from the portal entry. Obviously, the waiters knew Principal Hardy wasn’t coming. Two men stood at the far end, absorbed in conversation. With their attention on things away from the portal, they didn’t appear to notice when their colleague, with Alice at his side, stepped through.

  As his colleague’s attention appeared diverted, Statesman Patrick asked her to wait. Happy to oblige, Alice took a deep breath, shaking her head gently to dispel her anxiety. She watched Patrick as he walked away, making idle note that his hair was tied back in a ponytail and the way his jacket emphasised his slimness.

  One of the men was similar in height to Statesman Patrick, the other, easily half a head taller. Alice thought them pleasant looking, without the spectacular good looks of their counterpart, broader in the shoulders and with heavier physiques but their manner of dress was every bit as immaculate as Statesman Patrick. The shorter man, with hair a similar colour to Alice, had the same purple braid on his cuffs. The taller man’s jacket was edged with gold braid. His hair was fair, past his collar, with a hint of grey. Everything about him was large, and his presence so commanding, Alice decided this must be Principal Ryan. She swallowed hard because really, he just looked big and scary.