by Layla Heart
The surroundings have changed, we’re no longer out in the open, but in some tent. I catch a glimpse of Bane and Litha, dressed differently from before, and they’re staring at me from a distance. The protection circle is still in place. Good, it will keep them safe, keep them away from the dragon’s jaws and claws.
’Love? Dark love?’ It’s the first even partial rational thought the dragon has had since it took control. It needs Kit, it needs to see Kit. It’s always Kit, no matter what happens, he’s the one the dragon responds to. ’Fire love. Hoard. Dark love?’ Litha, our group, and Kit.
Then the dragon pushes me out of the way again, still too strong for me to fight. And I wince as it tries to escape the circle, the pain in its leg mostly gone, but not the pain in its shoulder... Its thoughts mess up again, the pain taking it away from the sanity, back into insanity, blurring everything.
No. no! Things were going well. So well.
“Rune. Come back.” They’re the first words I hear. Kit. Very close. Very, very close.
Warmth slides through the dragon’s body, it starts at two places on the dragon’s chest, two places where Kit is touching the dragon, sending his love into the dragon.
Why is he in here? He shouldn’t be able to touch the dragon! The circle should prevent him from coming too close, if he gets too close the dragon will eat him! He isn’t safe inside the circle!
“Rune.” More warmth, this time from Litha. She’s here too!
Why?! They can’t. Can’t they sense it? Can’t they sense the insanity, how the dragon will destroy them, kill them?
But the dragon doesn’t immediately attack them, almost like it’s too surprised to find the two people it needs most at its side. Too close to its body that it can’t easily grab them, attack them, and they’re using its biggest vulnerability, love.
I push up, the dragon trying to keep me away, push me back, but the soothing touches from Litha and Kit, their soft voices, it finally breaks through the dragon’s grip and I take control. I hold on tight, making sure I take full control of the dragon’s body, before I shift back to my human shape as fast as I can. Becoming human again, taking back control of the dragon.
I fall to the ground, the shifting much too fast and uncontrolled, but Kit catches me, holding me in his arms, staring down at me, his eyes full of tears.
“Take this.” He presses something to my lips, a glass vial with something bitter in it and it smells really bad. “It will prevent you from shifting, or the dragon taking control, at least for the next hours...”
I know this scent. I know what this is. This is the crap the fae use to control the dragons... This is how they control the population. I keep my lips closed, not wanting to play along. I can’t lock the dragon out, I can’t do that to it. I can’t lock away part of myself, not after everything I’ve just been through.
“Please.” Tears stream down Kit’s face as his hands shake, and I’m too aware of his fear, of his pain. He’s scared of my dragon. He’s never been scared of my dragon before and I’m so surprised that I automatically open my mouth.
The bitter liquid slides down my throat, burning all the way down, but it also gives clarity in my head, like it’s muting the dragon. Such an integral part of me, gone. It feels empty, missing.
What did I do? How can I ever... How can I ever face my dragon again, when I’ve suppressed it like this? When I’ve taken it out of my life like this.
“Thank you.” Kit takes the vial away and pulls me close to his chest. His heart is beating fast and he’s in so much pain, emotional pain, not physical luckily, but he’s also relieved to have me back, so relieved that it makes my heart hurt just from how much fear he must have been in.
Then more warmth surrounds us, Litha, keeping us together. “Thank you.” Her lips on my cheek are almost burning, or maybe that’s because I feel so cold inside. “I love you,” she whispers, her lips close to my ear. “I’ll always love you.”
I want to tell her the same, but I don’t know how to move right now. Not when I’m caught between them, when I’m finally with them again. Not when I’m finally back in my own body, a very cold and exhausted body...
But I’m back.
I’ve shut my dragon out. I’ve nearly killed the people I love most. I’ve got more things to make up for than I’ll ever be able to, no matter how long I live, but I’m back.
And I’m fairly sure I’m still alive. Fairly sure...
8
I’ve not properly slept since the night of the attack, staying by Rune’s side the whole time, Kit never far from me.
Bane, his mum and my mum went to collect the herbs, which didn’t take that long between the three of them. Then, Finn helped them distill it, before they gave it to the dragon. Finn and Phoenix worked together to inject the stuff into the dragon, which was scary to watch, as the dragon kept trying to attack them. But they managed it.
The dragon was out in moments, and we all stayed really quiet until we were sure that the dragon was still breathing. Then, things went very fast. We set up a large tent over Rune, to protect him and to keep people from staring at him the whole time. We undid the protection circle, giving us full access to the dragon and Phoenix tried to heal Rune’s leg, which didn’t work, as she’d already expected.
So, we went with the backup plan, try to numb the pain as well as possible. That way, hopefully the dragon would not go back to being so enraged, and then we could get Rune to shift back and hopefully prevent the dragon from breaking out again. Of course, numbing an area the size of a dragon’s leg wasn’t easy, especially not on a dragon of Rune’s proportions.
Between Phoenix trying, over and over, to heal his leg more, pushing against the edges of the infected area just to speed up the antidote’s work, and Finn and Bane applying and re-applying numbing agents, we were well into the night before Bane stepped away, convinced that this was all we could do and that we now had to wait.
They put the protection circle back up and then Bane gave Rune something to counteract the queen’s bane. Waiting for the dragon to wake up took hours, the animal slowly coming to, still angry and upset, the look in its eyes still wrong, crazed. I was so worried that we’d failed... That it hadn’t worked at all. That we... That Rune wouldn’t come back to us. Ever.
Bane had tried to control the dragon a couple of times and we’d seen the same flickering again, though this time, it was more obvious that Rune was able to get back in control just for a moment, but he still hadn’t been able to get him to shift back.
After a while, Kit pulled on my arm, nodding to the dragon. If we wanted to get Rune back, we had to put the dragon at ease, we had to distract it from whatever was going on to make it act out and make it focus on what it wanted most. Us.
Phoenix didn’t agree with the idea, at all, neither did any of the others. But we had to try it, we had to try to make it work. We were running out of options, fast.
Even though she glared, Phoenix opened the protection circle, letting us inside. Before we could get through, she pushed a vial into Kit’s hand, who glowered at her, but put it in his pocket anyway.
Kit was the first one to touch the dragon. Bane had been distracting it, so it hadn’t realised we were in the circle with it and when it sluggishly moved its head to attack Kit, it realised quickly enough that Kit wasn’t a danger. Then I put my hands on the dragon too, trying to make it feel the love I have for Rune, how much I love him. How I wanted to protect them, love them, have them with me.
Shocks went through the dragon and then Rune was there. First, I could sort-of feel him inside the dragon’s being, and then he shifted back into his human form.
Kit pulled him into his lap immediately, giving him something from the vial Phoenix had given him. For a moment it seemed that Rune wouldn’t drink, until Kit said something to him.
I wrapped my arms around the both of them, so happy to have Rune back. “Thank you.” I couldn’t express how much this meant to me, to have him with us again. “I lov
e you.” He couldn’t stop me this time. “I’ll always love you.” Even when he’s a fucking scary dragon, ready to eat me for a snack.
Rune’s breathing evened out and it seemed like he’d fallen asleep, gone from us again, but not in a scary way. This seemed like healing, not illness.
I glance up at Kit. Was this supposed to happen?
Kit shakes his head, his eyes soft but also dark, before looking down. “He’s just fallen asleep, too exhausted.”
I nod, pushing close to the both of them. So glad to have them with me again, needing to have them with me.
Around us, Phoenix takes the protection circle down as Finn and Bane join us, their arms around us, holding us close.
We’re all back. We’re all here. No matter what, as long as we’re all together, we can do anything. We brought a dragon shifter back into his human form, after going insane, something that most people think isn’t even possible. I think we’ve proven our abilities, right?
“Let’s get him home.” Bane whispers, slowly getting up and taking me with him. “I think it’s time for us to go home.”
I glance behind me, wanting a hug from Mum, wanting to talk to her, but she’s following Bane’s dad around the corner of the lab building, towards where Rune had broken through the wall... Hmmm, maybe another time.
Phoenix pulls a stretcher over and Kit and Finn lift Rune onto it. But even as I watch, even though Kit looked so glad to have Rune back, the darkness is returning to his eyes. Whatever went on before, it’s still there. Something dark, something painful. Whatever Kit did to set Rune off, it’s still there, and it seems darker than ever before.
I reach out to Kit, wrapping my arms around him, wanting to ask him what’s going on in his head, but before I can say anything, he kisses me, hard. Then he pulls back and shakes his head, his eyes filled with even more pain.
“I’m sorry.” He wants to step back, but I keep hold of his arms. He’s shaking like a leaf, his whole body trembling as I’m touching him.
“Why?” He keeps apologising for some reason.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” He pulls his arms out of my grip, stumbling back and runs to the house.
I stare after him, not sure how I can even get him back to us.
We may have gotten Rune back, but Kit is further away than ever before.
They put Rune in his bed and Phoenix checked his leg again. The green pus had stopped, but most of his thigh was still black. Some progress, but with how much stress the dragon had put on the body, it would take even longer for him to heal.
Then I climbed in bed with Rune, not wanting to leave his side, no matter how tired I was and how much I needed to talk to Kit... I belonged here now.
“Litha.” Phoenix is standing at the end of the bed, staring at me, exhausted but also fragile.
I reach out to her, wanting her here with me, needing to feel her close to me. I have no idea where Finn and Bane have gone, but I want as many of them with me as I can, just to remind myself that they’re really here, with me.
After taking a deep breath, her shoulders easing, Phoenix climbs in bed with me, her arm over my chest, her face close to me on the pillow, and she’s smiling softly. “I was going to ask you if you wanted something to eat.”
I shake my head, leaning my head against hers. “I just want to sleep.” I’ve had almost no sleep since we were attacked three days ago and it’s catching up with me. I need a lot of sleep, and then maybe some food, and then I need to talk to Kit, and the others, and Rune, and...
Phoenix lets out a disagreeing sound and softly nudges me with her nose. “Go to sleep. We’ll still be here when you wake up.”
I try to take a couple of deep breaths, calming myself down, taking ten slow breaths, but before I’m even done, I’m out like a light. I was definitely exhausted...
I wake up from someone moving and letting out a loud hiss close to me. The room is starting to get lighter, the sun still low as it shines into the room, and I realise I’m in bed with Rune, who is waking up.
“Morning.” I sit up, looking him over as he pulls a face, staring at his leg.
“What did they do to me?” He grits his teeth, his hands hovering over his leg, like he wants to push the pain away, but doesn’t dare to touch it.
“Numbed it. I don’t know exactly how. They just wanted it to work. Do you want me to get someone? They can probably do it again, if it has worn off.”
It’s just Rune and me in the bed, Phoenix has obviously disappeared while we were both asleep. I have no idea how long ago that was, or how long we were out. Time has sort of lost all meaning, being awake and asleep at such strange hours.
Rune reaches out to me, wrapping both his arms around me, pulling me against him tightly, burying his nose against my neck. “No, I just... I’d like to be alone with you for a while.” He takes a deep breath, like he’s trying to breathe me in or something.
“Why?” I don’t even know why I ask him, or what I expect him to answer. It’s not like I don’t have that same feeling myself, it’s why I stayed with him.
“Reminding myself that you’re really here. That it’s not all a dream.” His voice sounds so broken, and even though I try to look at him, he won’t let me look at his face.
“Rune...” I wrap an arm around him the best I can, which isn’t too easy with the way he holds me. Something is still wrong, very wrong, and Kit not showing up here to hover over Rune is definitely a big clue that nothing is right yet...
“Don’t worry about him. I’ll talk to him,” Rune murmurs, nuzzling closer.
“What happened?” I need to know, I need to know why my men are hurting so much.
“Something that started a long time ago. We’ll figure it out. I promise. You don’t have to worry about us. There are more important things for you to think about.”
“Like?” Because I think that worrying about two of my loves fighting and avoiding each other is very high on the list of things to worry about right now.
“Do you want to move in here, with us?” He takes a quick breath. “With Phoenix, of course. We have two free rooms. One is currently the guest room downstairs, and I think the extra one upstairs has been a dedicated ‘dump’ room for things Kit and Bane don’t want in their own rooms.” He lets out a low laugh and it feels good to hear him laugh, the rumble in his chest.
“Why? Our room isn’t too far away from here, and it’s a good room.” Moving in here with them seems a little... fast? And we do have a perfectly good room ourselves. It’s not like we’re living in some horrid place or something...
Rune snuggles closer. “I don’t know if any of us would let you get back to your own room at the end of the evening... Not anymore.” His rumbling laugh vibrates through me, making me hot. Oh!
I grin, liking where his mind is going. Especially because it means that he’s feeling a lot better. “Then, why do you think we’d need two extra rooms? It’s not like I’ll be using my own bed a whole lot, with the way you’re talking.” Just imagining the guys and Phoenix trying to one-up each other to get me to spend the night with them makes me smile, warmth spreading through me.
“See? We need a smart girl like you around.” He kisses my neck. “How else would we figure these things out?”
I laugh, Rune’s stubble scratching my neck a little. Hearing him make jokes is good. After everything, he at least sounds mostly back to normal.
Mostly. If it wasn’t for everything that’s still horribly wrong...
9
It’s a little odd, sitting at the dining table with Finn and Phoenix. Kit is still up in his room and Rune and Litha are in Rune’s room. We all slept a little, not much.
When I couldn’t stay asleep any longer, my mind still too active, I came downstairs. Finn just stepped out of his room as I passed his room, and Phoenix joined us not long after.
We’ve mostly been avoiding talking about the last couple of days, instead talking about our childhoods and things from the past. I learned a lot
about Phoenix, but mostly that she’d had as little interest in us as we’d had in her. We were ‘the princes’, she was her mother’s daughter. She’d never been interested in the prophecy more than just the fact that it existed and that her grandmother had been the one to speak it, she’d had no interest in ever joining in it.
Upstairs, I hear Kit move around in his room, banging doors of closets and slamming closed drawers, before turning his shower on. My heart gets heavy. We’re going to have to talk to him, and I have no idea how we’re going to get him to actually give us real answers. He keeps pulling back, from all of us. He’s always been the joker, the playful one, but he’s also the one who doesn’t know how to deal with his own emotions. He always tries to hide behind jokes and being lewd, but this won’t be solved by that. He’s struggling with something and he has no idea how to deal with it or even how to ask for help...
It’s not just affecting him and Rune, but also the others. It confuses Finn, it hurts Litha, and Phoenix... She also seems confused by it. For someone who’s always been highly emotional, Kit is going an extra level this time, and it’s not good for any of us.
“I’ll go check on him.” Finn stands up, but Phoenix stops him, shaking her head.
“I’d rather we go check on Rune first, see about his leg, and...” She glances in the direction of Rune’s room. “See if there have been any negative effects of the herb.”
Finn nods, serious. “Right. Although... I’m not sure Rune will be very happy with me.” He flinches, but Phoenix shrugs.
“I was the one who gave the vial to Kit, he can’t blame you for that.”
“He’ll still know it came from me. It’s fae made, designed by my family, for the precise purpose we gave it to him, to suppress a dragon’s shifter ability” He takes the back of his chair in his hands, his knuckles white from how tightly he grips it.