by Layla Heart
I look at him, at how troubled he seems by it. “Why did you have it?”
“I had it because...” He lets out a deep breath. “You’ll find out anyway. I’ve been...” Then he looks down, like it’s painful for him to even say it, or hard for some reason. “I’ve been trying to come up with a way to undo the effects of it. Neutralise it. It’s specifically made to affect dragons, not others, and it can build up in a dragon’s body, if they’re exposed to it for a long time, years even. It’s poured into the drinking water at the pumps, and can be drunk but it’s also absorbed through the skin, just to make sure that the dragons get ‘enough’ of it to have an effect. They’ve put it into the water everywhere on our lands, but it has no effect on witches or fae, or even wolves and incubi, so nobody else is affected, no matter how much they get into their system. And I’m trying to find a way to neutralise it when it comes to a dragon’s house, apply it at the point where the dragons will use it instead of at the source, where my dad’s people are much more likely to find it. Something long-term that my dad won’t immediately detect, but will allow dragons to get it out of their bodies.”
I stare at him, and so does Phoenix, her mouth open. He what? “How long have you been working on it?” It seems like a pretty involved plan...
He pulls his shoulder up, a little awkward. “A couple of months. I couldn’t work on it while I was at home, but I started before the summer. I just...”
“You don’t have to apologise.” I slowly shake my head, going to his side of the table, putting my hand on his shoulder. “I’m just surprised you’d be working on something so rebellious. But it helped Rune, so I’m totally not stopping you. Not that I would have stopped you anyway.”
Finn nods, his eyes still downcast. “He’ll probably want more later. He may not want to run the danger of his dragon breaking out while he’s still not healed... And he’ll still hate me for it.”
“We’d be losing his protection as a dragon, if he keeps taking it.” Phoenix also stands up, meeting my eyes. “He won’t be able to shift, at all. But he also won’t accidentally shift...”
“Yeah. He’s going to have to make that choice himself.” I glance to Rune’s room. “I’m not going to make that choice for him. I don’t know how I’d feel without my wolf inside me. I don’t even want to imagine having to feel that. But in the state he’s in... We may have to take that chance. He may have to choose something that he hates, just because it’s safer...”
Finn and Phoenix nod, both not looking very happy.
I take a deep breath. “Let’s go check on our lovebirds.” I try to smile. “We may have to save Rune from a very affectionate Litha, with the way she was clinging to him earlier.”
That makes them smile a little too and we make our way to Rune’s room.
I knock on the door, waiting for a reply, but it doesn’t come. I glance at Finn and Phoenix, and knock again. Still no answer... I’m pretty sure I heard mumbling from here before, they were awake.
Frowning, I open the door and what I find inside is making me smile more than I have in days. The lovebirds have fallen back asleep. Rune is wrapped around Litha, his bad leg over her legs, and they’re all squished together. They look so peaceful. So totally comfortable like this, and it makes my heart grow.
I guess that we may be off to a better start than I thought, at least when it comes to Rune...
I move my infected hand slowly, the joints in my fingers still hurting, but my range of movement is better than it was before and the pain isn’t too bad. Before the antidote, I couldn’t move them anymore, so painful movement is still better than no movement at all.
Phoenix said that the darkness may never really go away, always leaving a shadowy reminder, and the pain may never fully subside, but I’ll take that over losing my hand any day.
Someone knocks on my door and I turn around, away from the window and the rising sun. “Yeah?”
The door opens, and Litha steps inside, wearing one of Rune’s shirts, which is nearly a dress on her, a dress with a very sexy low collar, and her jeans from last night. “They’re cleaning Rune’s wound, I kind of didn’t need to see that.” She closes the door behind her quietly, leaning against it as she looks around the room, a soft smile appearing on her lips.
“Not good with gore?” I turn to her more, wanting to take her in my arms, but not sure that’s a good idea right now, if she even wants it.
She slowly shrugs and comes over to the window, staring outside, looking sad. “I didn’t need to see him in pain again. Whatever they did to numb it, it wore off, woke Rune up. So they’re also replacing the numbing stuff.” Then she lets out a short laugh, smiling slightly. “He actually sent me out of the room, told me to go do something fun instead of sitting there looking uncomfortable as they were working on him.” She reaches out and slides her hand into my good hand, leaning in and putting her head on my shoulder.
I pull her closer and wrap my arm around her, so glad to be holding her again. “Did you sleep well?”
She nods against my chest, pushing even closer. “Better than I have in days.”
A light laugh spills out of me. “That doesn’t say much, to be honest...”
“It doesn’t, does it? I have no idea what ‘normal’ is these days, even ‘normal’ sleep.” She’s quiet again, her fingers tracing over my back. “Bane?”
“Hmm?” I nuzzle into her hair.
“What would you think of Phoenix and me moving in here with you all? Rune asked me if I wanted to.”
“Would you like to?” Her moving in here? Well, that would definitely be a change, but I also don’t like the idea of her being out of our reach, not after what we’ve been through. I want her close, I need her close with us, but only if she wants it too.
“I don’t know... I’d like to be here, but also... I don’t know if it’s a good idea, not with Kit upset, he needs his space too. I’ll just make things weirder.”
I give her a soft kiss on the side of her head. “I don’t think you can make it any stranger than it already is.”
She lets out a laugh. “That’s not helping.”
“I know.” I nod, tightening my arm around her. “But isn’t that the whole idea of the prophecy? It’s not like life will ever go back to normal. So why should we even try? Nothing is normal anymore, which may be good.”
“Normal isn’t bad.”
“No, it isn’t. But being part of a prophecy makes everything not-normal, whatever we decide to do.” I take a deep breath. “I’d like it if you moved in with us. Even just while everything is still up in the air about the attack and while Rune is healing. It would make me feel a lot better if you were here with us.”
“Do you think there will be more attacks?” She sounds nervous, or maybe scared, probably both.
“Yes.” Honesty is the only way to go right now. “I have no idea when or where or how, but this hasn’t been the first time, and it won’t be the last time.”
“Oh...” She tenses in my arms.
“As long as we’re on campus we should be safe, mostly. It’s the best place for all of us to be.” I don’t even know how I can try to comfort her with that when I know very well that being on campus is safer, just not actually safe. “Even after all this, are you still considering moving in here with us? Surrounded by strange princes every moment of every day, when you wake up, or fall asleep, or even when you just want to take a shower by yourself for once.” I try to get her to think about happier things, because it’s been dark enough lately.
“Are you okay living with a cat?” I can feel her relax against me a little.
“You mean that ball of fur from Phoenix?” I try to meet her eyes, smiling.
She smiles back, her cheeks going slightly pink.
“As long as she doesn’t mind snuggling.” I wink and that gets a real laugh from Litha, her eyes sparkling as she nods.
Well, that definitely worked... Now to keep that smile on her face.
10
> Trying to pretend that the others don’t exist isn’t that easy, even in a house of this size. I can hear them walk around, their voices floating around the place, up to my room. I wish I could just leave, get away from here, but I also know that that isn’t possible. Not only is the Incubus kingdom not a safer place to be than staying on campus is, but I can’t leave Rune here... I can’t be away from him. He can’t be away from me.
Taking a shower earlier helped a little with feeling less tense, but not by much, and the darkness in my head keeps returning, no matter what I do to make it go away. There are only so many ways that I can think of to make this situation better, this painful place we’re in, this pain inside me. But most ideas would leave us all in a much worse position than we’re in right now, and I don’t want that either.
Leaving the house and campus would put a lot of strain on Rune, which, with the state he’s in, he won’t be able to deal with. Trying to force things from my mind, close everything out, like I did before, isn’t a solution either, I don’t want his dragon to break out again. So the only thing I can do is sit here and try to not exist, let everyone live their life and hope that this connection between Rune and me will slowly weaken so that I can step away from them all without hurting him again.
If they all forget about me, I can leave and they won’t get hurt.
I won’t be hurt by them dying, or getting really sick. I won’t feel those things for them anymore.
None of us would be hurt...
If they could just forget about me, forget I ever existed, I wouldn’t have to wait for the moment that they will die in front of me, without me being able to do anything about it, without me being able to save them. I won’t have to watch Rune go through horrific pain again, watch him be that close to the edge of death...
I won’t have to watch him die, and my death won’t be able to turn him into that insane dragon again...
It would be better for all of us.
Knocking on my door makes me look up from where I’m sitting in the windowsill, looking out over the nearly deserted campus. “Go away.” I don’t want to talk to anyone.
“You’re alive. Good to know. Have you had anything to eat today?” Finn opens the door and steps inside, a tray with food in his hands. He looks around the room, a line forming between his eyebrows. It’s a little messy. I may have thrown some stuff away from me as far as I could when I realised that everything I own smells like Rune or reminds me of him in some way. Even what I’m wearing now reeks of him, constantly reminding me of him, of his love.
“I don’t want to. Go away.” I stare out the window again, but also watch Finn move around my room in the reflection of the window until he puts the tray on the bed, close behind me so I can reach it, and he sits down next to it.
“You’ve not eaten a full meal in days.” He moves a couple of things on the tray. “Eat at least a little of this.”
“Why?” I shake my head. “I don’t care. I don’t—”
“Because we worry.” There is an edge to his voice.
“He worries.”
“We all worry.” He stands up again and steps behind me, almost close enough that I can lean back against him, and he meets my eyes in the reflection of the window. “Yes, he worries. Of course, he does. He’s more worried about you than he is about his own leg. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t eat something.”
I shake my head, not answering. I just want to disappear.
“Do you want me to send Litha up instead? Will you eat if she’s here?”
I simply stare at him. That’s not going to make a difference.
“I thought so. That’s why I’m here.” He sits down on the other side of the windowsill, his legs pulled under him. “Do you want to talk?”
Pretty sure my silence is enough of an indication of a no...
“I can work with that too. You don’t have to say anything, just listen.” He shrugs, also staring out the window. “Let’s see... Rune’s leg is doing a little better, but not enough to know what he will be like a couple of weeks down the line, or months, or years. Phoenix’ cat, Ember, has made herself comfortable in the living room on the couch and seems to have claimed the spot for herself. Even Bane wasn’t able to get her to move when he wanted to play a game.” Then Finn falls quiet, just staring outside for a while. “Oh, and Rune has asked Litha if she and Phoenix want to move in with us.”
What? I stare at him, then I quickly pull a neutral face. “They can have my room. I’ll just... I’ll go, give them more space.”
Finn doesn’t reply immediately, waiting for me to continue, which I don’t. “Where will you go?”
“Nowhere. Everywhere. Anywhere.”
“Kit...” His voice drops.
“No.” I shake my head.
“Why?”
“Because I’m the greatest danger to Rune, and that means to all of us. If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have to take that horrid poison to keep his dragon from breaking out, he wouldn’t have gotten locked up inside his dragon in the first place. If it wasn’t for me, none of that would have happened.” I thump my head against the window a couple of times. “I’m the greatest danger to everyone here.”
“And you think that leaving will solve anything?” He looks at me, an eyebrow raised. He’s not disagreeing that I’m the biggest threat to them all.
My heart sinks more, hardens more. “It will be better than this.” It’s the only thing that makes sense, the only thing that feels right, even if it feels so wrong it makes me sick just thinking about it.
“No, it won’t. You know that. You won’t stop being part of his hoard just because you’re not here. He won’t stop loving you just because you’re not here. It won’t solve anything.” Finn’s usually the least emotional of us, and I’m the most emotional... I guess that’s why they sent him up here.
“He can love Litha. If he has her, why would he need me?” Even as I say the words, they hurt. I don’t want him to stop loving me, I just want to stop this pain, this looming shadow of death over all of us...
Finn stands up, shaking his head. “Eat something, please. And then...” He stops, taking a deep breath. “Running away won’t solve any of this. None of it. He’ll still love you and you’ll still love him. It will just hurt you both unnecessarily.”
I grip my hand into my shirt, not wanting to show my pain, the tears streaming down my cheeks as I keep my head turned away from him.
He takes a couple of steps before he speaks again. “And do you really want to leave Litha? Do you really want to be separated from her? Do you really want to be separated from all of us?” He leaves my bedroom, and it’s right in time because a sob wracks through me, making me grip my chest tightly as I shake my head.
No. I don’t want any of that. None. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I also don’t want to be in pain, and I’ve not found a way around that yet.
Why is this so hard? Why can’t I just... Why can’t it just be easier?
11
The house is very quiet, very very quiet. Rune is asleep, Kit is in his room, Bane and Finn are playing a game in the living room and Litha... Litha is hiding away by herself.
I open the door to the extra room upstairs and almost jump back when I’m greeted by the back of some closet or something. It looks old, and unused, which is probably why it’s here.
I squeeze myself through the tight space between the closet and the door, before closing the door behind me again. When I walk around the closet, there’s even more clutter, stacks of boxes, more furniture, all sorts of things are scattered around. This is obviously a room they use to just dump things in they don’t want anymore.
On the far end of the room is a large couch, angled towards a balcony with open doors. The white curtains flutter in the light breeze and obscure the view over the fields beyond.
Tiptoeing through the mess, I go over to the couch and Litha is curled up on it, her arm folded up under her head and she’s listening to something thr
ough her headphones. She’s not asleep, but she’s not exactly awake either, dozing off a little, her eyes half-closed as she looks out the doors.
I walk around the couch, going over to the small balcony, and staring outside. Just looking over the fields, you’d never guess that we’d been under attack not even three days ago... It’s too calm for something so violent to have happened.
“Hi.” Litha’s voice is soft and when I turn back to her, she’s smiling a little. “You found me.”
I smile back at her, my heart fluttering at her softness. “That wasn’t hard. You weren’t anywhere else in the house, and I remember Bane saying he dumped the couch from his room here.” I go over to her and sit on the edge of the couch, playing my fingers over her bare arm. She’s still wearing Rune’s oversized shirt, she seems to be very attached to it, which, after being too close to losing him, I guess is normal.
“The view is really nice.” Her eyes go to the fields, before looking at me. “Have you thought about the offer yet?” She reaches out to me and curls her fingers into the bottom of my shirt. I’m not even sure she realises it, how she keeps holding on to everyone.
“It doesn’t sound like a bad plan.” I wink. “I’m just not sure how the headmaster and teachers will react to two girls moving into a house with four guys. Especially when they know that there are a lot of sexy times going on between some of them.”
Litha smiles more, her eyes starting to sparkle. “I don’t presume we can persuade those concerns with the very sensible notion that it would require fewer rooms to house us all? Since I won’t be needing my own room, when I can share with the others?” She’s starting to smirk and I shake my head, grinning back.
“You have a very interesting idea of what those in charge of an academy like this are worried about. But I admire the ingenuity.” I lean closer, kissing her on her arm, her skin warm under my lips. “Would that mean you’d be sharing with me too?” My heart beats faster, nervous about her answer. It’s been very clear how she feels about the princes, and, of course, that they’re all part of the prophecy. But sometimes I still feel like I’m an outsider in this world, in their little world, because I just don’t fit in as easily as the guys do, since I’ve not been that close to them in the past... The pieces don’t fit as well, a little rough.