by M. E. Carter
“Hey!” Archie protests, but I murmur my agreement.
“It’s true and you know it,” Rodney defends. “I’m grateful I’m not partnered up with you in the real wild west or we’d already be dead.”
“Asshole,” Archie grumbles without a lot of weight behind his words.
“Check inside the saloon,” I order, taking over since everyone else seems to be distracted. “Any sign of trouble in there?”
Rodney’s avatar goes through the swinging doors, then gives us the all-clear.
“What’d I miss?” Matty asks, rejoining us after taking a few minutes away.
“Rodney got yelled at by his wife.”
“Archie’s pussing out.” Our two gamer friends talk over the top of each other making me laugh as they piss each other off. It’s been a weird night for play. But I didn’t have anything else to do when Nicole left for the store so here I am, listening to everyone bitch each other out while we all play like shit.
“Where’d you go, anyway?” It’s not like Matty to leave mid-game. Even the others know it. They’ve gotten quiet, probably waiting for his answer. Buncha gossips.
“I just grabbed an ice pack for my shoulder,” Matty explains and reengages his avatar. “I got a nasty hit right in the shoulder cap the other day and it’s not healing as fast as I’d like.”
“Have you told the trainer? Gotten it checked out yet?”
“Hell no,” he says forcefully. “They’d tell Coach who would pull me as a starter. And then my dad would get involved and you know how that would go. He’d freak out and take me across the country to some specialist he knows from back in the day and I’d spend hours getting scans and shit for them to say it’s a sprain or something stupid. It’s fine. Just taking a little longer than normal to heal.”
“It’s not fine, Matty,” I argue, trying to be the voice of reason. “If you’re still icing it days later, something is wrong. You’re being scouted heavily. You’ve got to take care of yourself.”
“Exactly. I’m being scouted. I don’t need to miss a game over stupid shit.” I know he’s getting irritated with me but I’ve been around his family for a long time and I know this isn’t something they would want him to mess with.
“Better you miss a game than have a career-ending injury before you even get a career.”
“Why are you on me like this, man?” His avatar’s movements become jerky. Either he’s having issues because of his shoulder or he’s more pissed than he’s letting on. “Swear to God, if you don’t let it go, I’m going to shoot you in the face.”
“Do it and I’ll call your dad to rat you out. See how well that goes over.”
“You’re a dick.” Suddenly his avatar disappears leaving the three of us to battle it out again.
“Uhhh… that was intense, man,” Rodney remarks, as he orders a drink at the bar.
“Trust me. That was the least of the drama in this family.”
“Wait.” Archie sounds confused and his avatar turns around to look at mine. It’s kind of creepy. “You guys are family?”
“Yes. No. It’s a long-ass story you don’t want to know about. How do you think we both ended up on this game together?”
“Luck of the draw like the rest of us,” Rodney says. He’s got a point. I guess I can see why they’re surprised. “You better order something, Archie, or you’re going to get kicked out before we figure out what’s coming next.”
The red-headed avatar begins moving again and we’re back on.
“Check out that dude dressed in the Zorro costume. Does he look shady to you?” I ask, getting my own focus back into the game.
It only lasts for a matter of seconds before the front door slams behind me. Nicole never slams the door. She says she doesn’t want to be a bad neighbor, which is why it has me immediately on edge. Every hair on my body feels like it’s standing on end and I don’t even have to turn around. I know instinctually something is very wrong.
Jumping up from the couch, I swivel on my heel to see Nicole leaning against the door, hand over her chest, a look of horror on her face.
Tossing my controller onto the couch, I race to her. “What? What’s wrong?”
“He’s here.”
I take a quick step back, my hand clamped over my mouth as I take in what she just said.
“Jeremy?”
Just one word, said quietly, and her nod of confirmation makes the bottom drop out of my world again.
“Where?”
“I… I don’t know.” Her breathing is shallow. I approach her again and grab her hand, hoping to ground her so she doesn’t pass out. “He was at the store.”
“The one right around the corner?”
“Yes,” she whispers, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“Shit.”
“He was with a woman, Kade. He’s dating someone.” My first thought is that she’s jealous. Upset that he’s moved on. But then she grabs at my shirt, holding it tightly in her fist. “What if he’s doing the same thing to her? We can’t let him do that.”
I’m not able to take the small space left over between us anymore and pull her into a hug. Rubbing circles on her back, I do my best to help her process this new information. “Did you see any marks on her?”
I feel her head shake against my chest.
“Did she look frightened of him?”
Nicole pulls away and frightened blue eyes look up at me. “No. She looked really in love. That’s the worst part. When he noticed me, he gave me this evil grin, like he knew he’d won. And she didn’t even notice. How can she not see how dangerous he is? I don’t know what to do.”
My blood boils, knowing he’s playing a game with Nicole. That he’s just enough of a psychopath that he finds this fun. It’s bad enough that he beat her, but to purposely make her afraid for his own entertainment is crossing yet another line.
I tamp down my own anger, though. This is not the time for me to go off the deep end, not when the woman I love is practically hyperventilating in front of me. Right now, I need to bottle up all my feelings and focus on her.
I rub my hands up and down her arms, hoping to soothe her. “Okay, okay, one thing at a time. Breathe with me, babe. Breathe in, two, three, four… and hold, two, three, four… out, two, three, four… hold, two, three, four.”
It takes a few cycles of the technique I watched Kiersten do with her the last time she saw Jeremy, but her pants finally level out to a more normal pattern.
“Better?”
Nicole swallows and licks her lips before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, thank you.”
“We can’t worry about the new girlfriend right now.”
Her eyes widen. “But—” she tries to interrupt but I keep going.
“First we have to make sure you’re protected and hope that when she finds out about it, which she will at some point, it’ll raise a red flag she can’t ignore.”
“But what if he hurts her tonight?”
I hate that Nicole is panicking over this, but I so much admire that she’s less worried about herself than she is about another person. Although I suspect part of it is actually a defense mechanism so she doesn’t have to address her own fear.
“Do you know her name?”
“Well… no,” she admits.
“Do you know where she lives?”
Nicole shakes her head, lips twisted into a frown.
“I want to help her as much as you do, but without any of that information, we don’t even have a place to start.”
Nicole’s shoulders drop, her forehead resting on my chest as she speaks. “I just can’t stand the idea that it could be happening right now and there’s nothing I can do to stop him.”
“I know. But I really think she’ll be okay tonight.”
“How can you say that.” Her head whips up so she can look at me again, but she doesn’t pull away. Her fist is still clamped around my shirt like I’m her lifeline. I have no complaints about it. “How can you be so sure?”
>
“He’s kind of a psychopath, Nic. And right now, he’s feeling awfully in control since he scared you at the store. I don’t know a lot about human psychology but I’ve known quite a few assholes in my life and usually when they feel in control like this, they just sort of sit back and gloat. It’s when they’re losing control that they’re dangerous.”
Nicole’s brows furrow and I can tell she’s considering my words. I don’t know for sure that I’m right, but like her, I hope I am.
“Yeah,” she finally says, still gazing off into her own thoughts. “That makes sense. I hope you’re right.”
“Me, too.” Spontaneously, I kiss her on the top of the head and guide her toward the couch. I’ll take the time to think harder about kissing her later. Right now, I just want to get her settled.
“Oh, shoot,” she exclaims as I gently push her down onto the cushion. “I didn’t get my tampons.”
“I can go get them.” I’m planning on leaving to set some things in motion anyway, but I don’t tell her that part. “Why don’t you play Red Dead Redemption? The guys are on right now.”
“Okay.” Her answer is a little too robotic for my liking. I make a mental note to be on my guard tonight for when the nightmares start.
Grabbing the headset, I hop back on real quick.
“Hey, guys, I gotta head out but I’m handing things over to Nicole.”
“What the fuck is happening tonight, Maxwell?” Rodney bitches. “First Archie fumbling everything up—”
“You’re a dick,” Archie heckles.
“—Then Matty pusses out. And now you’re just ditching us?”
“I have some things to take care of. Besides, you like playing with Nicole more than you like playing with me anyway.”
“She’s definitely hotter than you,” Archie butts in.
“You don’t know what either of us looks like, asshole,” I reply and then think better of it. “But now that you say it, yeah, that’s true. Even in avatar form.”
They both start laughing as I sign off.
“Here she is, y’all.”
Ripping the headset off, I hand it and the controller to Nicole. “You can sign in if you want or you can just keep playing me. I have more weapons built up than you do, so if you want to play around with them you can.”
“Sweet, thanks.”
Her response is almost normal, which is a little disconcerting. She just came from a huge scare and seems to be recovering from it way too quickly. She doesn’t even seem concerned about my leaving her alone.
Yeah, something’s not right.
Once she’s settled, I go into the hall bathroom and search under the cabinets for what I need. Ripping the tops off the only two boxes of feminine products I find, I shove them in my pocket so I know what I’m looking for. Then I grab my keys off the counter in the kitchen.
Taking one last look at Nicole to make sure she’s settled, I feel confident she’s okay with me leaving which is weird, but works to my benefit right now. She needs supplies and I need some privacy.
I shut the door quietly behind me as I leave, making sure all the locks are engaged. As I race to my car, needing to get back to her as quickly as possible, I pull out my phone, search for the contact I need, and dial.
It takes just two rings before I get an answer. “What’s up, Kade.”
“Paul. We have a problem.”
Chapter Fifteen
Nicole
“You didn’t have to come with me.”
I purse my lips and raise one eyebrow at my sister who insisted on escorting me to my therapy appointment. It was luck that I happened to have my regular biweekly appointment today. With all the drama last night, the timing was undeniably perfect.
Kiersten is not at all threatened by my glare. “Yes, I did. He’s out there and, full disclosure, I’m almost as terrified as you’re pretending not to be.”
I gape at her, hating that she can read me so well. I thought I was doing a decent job of hiding my feelings. “I am not terrified…”
She flashes the same look at me that I was giving her. The one that says, You’re full of it.
I sigh and give up the ruse. “Fine. How can you tell?”
“Nicole, you have been my sister for your entire life. You’re naturally a quiet person. But when you get too calm, I know things are heavy on you. It’s obvious to everyone who knows you that you are really shaken by this. I’m surprised Kade hasn’t had a meltdown yet from how worried he is.”
That’s twice she’s surprised me in the last thirty seconds. “Kade is worried too? He’s been so nonchalant.”
Kiersten snorts a humorless laugh. “Why do you think he called Paul last night and not me? Because he’s gone into full-on alpha protective mode and was rallying the troops.”
“Whatever.” I settle back into the couch because I know she’s wrong about this. “He called Paul to give him a heads up because Paul is like my brother and he’s passing on information.”
She points right in my face. “Wrong. That boy is head over heels, madly in love with you and he’s freaking out because none of us know what Jeremy is up to and he’s desperate to protect you. Even if it means getting his boss involved.”
I can feel the blood draining from my face, her words a shock. “No, he’s not. Maybe he has a little crush. But mostly he’s my friend.”
“Yeah, a friend who would love benefits.” She sits forward and turns to face me. “Do you not notice how he looks at you? He is in loooooooove, Nic,” she singsongs. “And don’t think I don’t know that you’re madly in love with him, too. You both think we’re all idiots.”
My eyes widen and my jaw drops. “Everyone else knows, too?”
“You aren’t exactly sneaky when you steal glances and blush. We just didn’t say anything because we didn’t want to embarrass you.” She flops back and stretches her long legs out, like she’s exhausted from the bombshell she just dropped. Then she turns her head toward me. “And for the record, I give you my blessing. He’s a great guy and I think he’s exactly what you need.”
My lips quirk up as I fight the smile that wants to take over. I was starting to think Kade liked me a little, but in love with me? How can that be? I barely have a job, I’m a college dropout, and I still carry around the scars of an abusive relationship. How could he possibly feel that deeply for me?
Then again, I wouldn’t be upset if he did. He’s such a great person and underneath the geeky gamer exterior is a heart of gold. I just wish he could see himself the way I do.
“Anyway, after we’re done here, I’ll take you back to Kade’s and since Kade is off tonight, Paul will pick you up for work.”
“I have my own car, Kiersten. Is carting me around everywhere really necessary?”
“Yeah,” she says a little more forcefully than I care for. “It’s absolutely necessary at this point and I have no idea why you keep bucking me on this. We don’t know what Jeremy is up to and I’m not leaving you alone to find out. And you’re definitely not leaving Kade’s apartment by yourself anymore.”
“Glad you’re making decisions about my life now.” I cross my arms indignantly, like the child I apparently am.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we didn’t want the guy who beat you and put you in the hospital to get near you again. My mistake.” Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. I already know I’ve lost this battle. I just hate when she’s right sometimes. “Do you want me to drop you back at the bar apartment so you can be all alone with your thoughts again?”
“No,” I admit begrudgingly. I don’t know why I’m so resistant. I’m just… irritated by it all. Just when I started getting my life back, it feels like it’s being snatched away again.
“Exactly. So, let me be your big sister and help take care of you.”
“Is this how it’s going to be now? Are you guys going to rotate who gets to babysit me in public for the foreseeable future?”
Kiersten huffs her irritation with me. “Stop being obs
tinate. If there’s something in particular you do or don’t want us to do, speak up. But until you start voicing your thoughts, this is what you get.”
I sigh in resignation because she’s right. I’m kind of frozen. Instead of facing my fears head-on, I’m ignoring them and stuffing them down more and more. I know it’s not healthy and will backfire on me eventually but I wasn’t expecting to see Jeremy again. I was doing a good job healing and I don’t want to start all over. And yet, I’m hiding out in Kade’s apartment instead of doing something to actually fix the problem, so how much healing have I really been doing?
It’s a good thing I have therapy. There are a few things I may need help sorting out.
Right on time, the door opens and Dr. Rhonda pokes her head out.
“Hi Nicole.” One of the things that I like about Dr. Rhonda is she always starts our session with a smile. Even if we dig into the deep stuff, I always know she’ll let me get comfortable being here before we do the heavy work. “Are you ready?”
I follow her into the small office and take a seat at the end of the couch, curling my feet up next to me and clutching the small decorative pillow. I sit in this position every time. Dr. Rhonda says it’s normal and is a defensive position. It gives me a sense of control so we can do the hard work. I don’t know if that’s true, but I’m much more comfortable sitting right here, just like this.
“How are you doing today?” Dr. Rhonda sits in her office chair across from me, her dark red hair pulled back into a casual chignon. She likes to gently swivel back and forth while we talk and she never takes notes during our sessions. I like that about her. It makes me feel like I’m having a conversation and not being psychoanalyzed. Realistically, I know she’s still doing her job and probably writing things down after the fact, but for me, it’s helpful to feel like I’m just talking to a friend.
“I’m okay.” It’s not quite the truth, but not a lie either.
“Last week, you were still living with… Kade? Is that his name?”
I nod. “Kade, yes.”
“Things had kind of calmed down since your mother’s unexpected visit and you hadn’t heard from Jeremy.”