by M. E. Carter
“I’m Nicole.”
“Oh, I know.”
Maybe it would be safer sitting next to some random guy. If she’s always this hostile, who knows what she’ll do when she has access to various chemicals.
Fortunately, the professor comes in before I can think too much about that or for any more forced conversation to occur.
“I’m Professor Draman,” he drones, just like I anticipated a chemistry teacher would. “You can find the course’s syllabus on my google classroom page.” He points to his email address written on the whiteboard behind him. “I have paper copies for you as well. Please take one and pass the stack to the person behind you.”
The papers are passed out to everyone and we spend the first two hours going over the syllabus of the class and hearing a basic lecture, before getting a small break to stretch our legs and use the facilities.
“Okay, class, go ahead and put your laptops away,” Professor Draman announces when we reconvene. “We’re going to do our first lab before you all head out for the night. It’ll only take as long as you make it, so stay focused. Everyone put these on.”
People continue chitchatting as they follow the instructions and put on the safety goggles the professor hands out.
We do a quick tour of the lab equipment and go over the rules, complete with a legal document we have to sign stating we understand it all and will do our best not to blow up the lab.
Well, it doesn’t say those words exactly, but the guys behind us seem to find the comparison hilarious.
“Tonight’s lab is going to be shorter and will help you become familiar with several instruments and how to use them. You have one set of the worksheets in front of you with all the instructions. The person you are next to will be your partner for the next three weeks, so make sure you work together. I want that one packet returned to me with both your names on it.”
“Great,” Faith mutters loud enough to make sure I hear her.
“Do you want me to start reading this out loud?” I ask kindly, refusing to lower myself to her level. I’m not the bad guy, no matter what she chooses to believe.
She shrugs with indifference at my question, so I begin.
“The accuracy of every measurement that is made depends on the equipment used to make the measurement,” I read. “We will take mass measurements on a multiple beam balance and an analytical balance.”
I remember doing a lab similar to this one in high school so we decide it’s best for me to set up the various equipment while she writes everything down. It doesn’t take us long to get going and find the information we need.
“Looks like it’s 78.5 degrees Fahrenheit,” I say and show her what I’m looking at for confirmation.
Faith looks at what I’m seeing and nods in agreement before writing down the answer. “What about Celsius?”
I look again, squinting because the numbers are really small. “11 degrees.”
Again, she double-checks before writing it down.
“Next, we’re doing length using two different metric rulers,” she reads this time, her tone much calmer than it has been now that we’re all business.
I move the thermometers out of the way and sort through our equipment for the rulers.
“You know he’s out of jail, right?”
Or at least I thought we were all business. I don’t know if she’s trying to throw me off or if she just needs someone to talk to, but I almost drop the ruler when she drops that bomb on me. Partly because my heart stutters with my immediate fear reaction, but maybe more so because she shared at all.
“I know,” I practically whisper, not wanting to say something that will make her clam up again. I have this intense need to understand why Faith feels the need to bring it up. Just a couple of hours ago, she made sure we would never talk about him. So why did she change her mind? Why now?
“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with him.” Faith scratches at her sleeve and I want to ask if she has marks on her arm, but I refrain from asking.
“I don’t.”
“So why are you keeping tabs on him?”
“I’m not.” I place the ruler where it needs to go and try to keep my eyes trained on the numbers I can’t really see, so engrossed in where this conversation is going. “I was granted a protection order against him so I got a phone call that he made bail until the trial.”
“Protection order?”
The obvious surprise in her voice has me looking over. I’m shocked to realize Jeremy didn’t tell her anything about it. Then again, if he’s still maintaining he’s innocent, why would he? As long as he doesn’t violate the order, she’d never have to know that the justice system doesn’t trust him any more than I do.
There are so many things I want to say to her now that this information has come out. So many warnings I want to give her. But I feel so ill-prepared to even be having this conversation coupled with being afraid to give her any more details. It’s not that I think she’s dangerous to me, but what if she confronts him? Will he hurt her? Will he take out the rage on her that he has for me because I pushed this case through?
All the words I want to say are frozen on the tip of my tongue as my concerns race through my brain. I try to sort out the best course of action for this conversation but before I can come to any reasonable conclusions she sniffs and turns back to the paper.
“He never told me about that.”
I don’t respond. What is there to say? Despite her attempt at indifference, we both know this is the moment she’s beginning to question everything Jeremy has told her, even if only one of us will admit it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kade
My finger taps on the steering wheel to the beat of Kings of Leon’s Dancing in Your Head. If they only knew all the feelings that have been dancing in my head for the last couple of months, they could write an entirely new song about it. Hell, I could probably write a song about it. It would be terrible and a worst seller, but at least it would get some of this out so I could sort through it.
This thing with Nicole is such a juxtaposition. On the one hand, I know I can’t give her what she needs. I’m just a fledgling college student with no real path in life. Where I’m at now may very well be where I’m at in ten years. She deserves not just a man who has a plan, but who has the drive to get there. I’m not sure that will ever be me. Plus, I’ve seen my mother chasing that plan for my entire life and I have no interest in becoming like her.
On the flip side, I love Nicole. It took me a bit to wrap my brain around how big that feels, but it’s true. Hell, when she kissed me, I wanted to bow down in front of her and beg her to keep me forever. Pathetic, I know. But she’s everything I never dreamed I’d have in my life and in some ways, it’s hard to contain my excitement at how things are turning out. I feel a little like a protective boyfriend, even though we haven’t talked about the exclusivity of our relationship.
I’m still not sure if the depths of her feelings for me are as intense as mine for her. And I’m almost positive this is going to eventually end with my own devastation. But until that happens, I want to be with her as much as I can.
So here I sit, in my car in the parking lot in front of the science building at Southeastern State, my fingers drumming while I wait in the car for Nicole to get done. I was off work tonight anyway, so I offered to pick her up. If nothing else, I know it’ll make her feel more secure that she won’t be alone on campus at night.
People begin to trickle out of the science building and I step out of my car to walk over and greet her. Shoving my hands in my hoodie pocket to get a little more warmth, I stroll to the oversized concrete steps and lean against the brick wall.
Soon enough, I pick her out of the crowd just as she flips her long blonde hair over her shoulder. When she sees me, she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
That’s weird. Was she not expecting me? Did I do something wrong? I can’t quite gauge what’s going on, even as she reaches me
and tucks her arm into mine.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, watching her face as we walk back toward the car, trying to get any indication of what’s happening in her head.
“Let’s just go,” she says softly. The urgency in her tone has me immediately moving quicker. The tight way she’s clinging to my arm has my hackles rising.
“Nicole, what is going on?” I ask again, afraid of her answer. The quickness in her steps and tension in her body has me on high alert.
“Nothing. Let’s go.”
As we make our way to the parking lot, I look up to make sure we’re heading in the direction of my car and that’s when I see him.
He’s leaning against a giant black truck in the back of the parking lot, arms and legs crossed, a smirk on his face, and evil in his gaze.
“What the fuck.”
Suddenly Nicole’s insistence to get to the safety of my car makes more sense. How did she know he would be here? And I know this small side lot isn’t one hundred yards long so why isn’t she calling the cops right now?
“His girlfriend is in my class,” she says quietly, and I notice she’s refusing to look at him. “He’s picking her up. We need to go.”
I try to meet his murderous stare with one of my own but I’m sure it falls flat. I’d lose a fight with him in a matter of seconds and we both know it. The only protection we have from this psycho is a flimsy piece of paper that won’t do anything to protect the woman I love from harm if this dick has his mind set on hurting her.
I hate that.
I usher her into the car quickly, making sure to lock the door as soon as she’s inside, unlock it to climb into the driver’s side, and relock it just as quickly. I don’t even bother with a seatbelt, peeling out of the parking lot and onto the street, determined to get us away from him and to the safety of my apartment as quickly as possible.
“Slow down, Kade,” Nicole pleads, and I finally notice how fast I’m driving. I immediately remove my foot from the gas pedal.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re mad.”
I shake my head at how easily she can downplay this. “Mad doesn’t even describe it. How dare that guy show up outside your class? Who does that?”
“A guy who is waiting for his new girlfriend.”
Her answer is calm and matter of fact… and it confuses me. “Are you… defending him?”
“No.”
“Because it kind of sounds like you’re giving him a pass on this.”
She leans back against the headrest and looks out the window. “It’s not a pass really.”
“Then what is it? Because I’m not understanding why you aren’t more upset about this.”
“I’m upset, but I don’t think he knew I was going to be there. I think he was probably as surprised as we were.”
“He didn’t look surprised. He looked thrilled to mess with you again.”
My fingers tap against the steering wheel but not to any beat. It’s residual effects from the adrenaline racing through my body. My mind is spinning as I sort through what the next plan of action should be.
“I’m sure he was mad,” Nicole continues, a little more nonchalant than I know what to do with. “He knows better than to come anywhere near me and technically he just violated the order. I could have him arrested.”
“So why don’t you?”
It’s the million-dollar question I’ve been waiting the last few minutes to ask.
“Because of Faith.”
She’s lost me now. “Who?”
“Remember the girl who came in and yelled at me at work? His new girlfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“Like I said, she’s in my class.”
I fight to keep control of the car, so shocked by this information I somehow missed the first time she said it. Now that it’s sunk in, I can’t help my flair of emotion. “What!?”
“We were both surprised to see each other.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come to get you.” I’m practically yelling now that I have this new information. “She didn’t threaten you, did she? Because we can go back and ask them to add her to that protection order if we need to.”
Nicole puts her hand on my arm trying to calm me down a bit.
“Kade. It’s okay. She’s harmless. She’s my lab partner so I got to know her a little bit.”
I groan in frustration at her lack of concern over her own safety. “Nicole…”
“No really, Kade. She’s a victim like I was. She just doesn’t want to admit it to herself yet.”
My heart sinks as I finally realize what the real issue is. “Please don’t tell me you’re trying to help her get out of a dangerous relationship. You don’t need to put yourself in harm’s way like that. Not while he’s still around.”
“No, I…” she sighs again before restarting. “You can’t help someone get out of an abusive relationship if they don’t want out. I know that. It doesn’t work that way. Ask Kiersten. She tried to help me before I ended up in the hospital and I shut her down every time. Wouldn’t talk to her for weeks.” She looks out the window again, either avoiding my gaze or just remembering. I’m not sure which. “Just from the few conversations we’ve had, Faith isn’t ready. She might not ever be and I can’t make her. But tonight, when we all accidentally ended up at the same place, I can let go of my feelings and at least show some respect and consideration. For her sake.”
I rub my forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. “I don’t understand how that helps her at all.”
“And I don’t know that it will,” she admits. “But tonight, Faith and Jeremy are worried I’m going to call the cops. Tonight, Jeremy will be on his best behavior so Faith can vouch for the fact that he didn’t know I would be there and he never approached me and got out of there as soon as they could. Tonight, he’ll be prepared to defend himself from any wrongdoing. If I poke that bear, he’ll go off on her. I know it because I’ve experienced it. I don’t want to take that risk over something that can be explained away this easily and won’t end up with him arrested anyway.”
I shake my head and grit my teeth. I don’t like that she makes sense, but I know she’s right. We were in a public place on the first night of a class they didn’t know anyone else was taking. He never approached us and we were in each other’s vicinity for thirty seconds max. It’s a flimsy violation at best.
Nicole reaches over and grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers and grounding me. I can let it go this time, but with one change.
“Just, would you please text me next time something like this happens so I can be better prepared? Or so I can have Frankie or Alex or someone who has a fighting chance against him to pick you up instead?”
She kisses my knuckles and it makes my stomach jolt. It’s distracting me from the issue, but no one has ever done that before. I like the way it feels. “I would have given you a heads up but we’re not allowed to have our phones in class at all. The professor says it’s too dangerous to have the distraction in the chem lab.”
“Can you at least let the professor know you have a protective order against an ex-boyfriend so you can use it in the case of an emergency?”
She smiles gently. “I can do that. It won’t change anything though. Jeremy’s not enrolled in the class so it’s not like he’ll be coming to the classroom.”
I nod even though I’m not sure I agree with her assumptions. Not sure at all.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Nicole
Kade was more shaken up about Jeremy showing up at school than I realized. I even suggested we play some Red Dead Redemption when we got home, hoping it would get some of his pent-up aggression out. I thought it worked. Apparently, I was mistaken.
This morning I woke up to Paul banging on our door and demanding I go with them to Heath and Lauren’s house for a meeting. I said nothing, instead just looking at Kade for confirmation that he’s the one who called my brother-in-law. Kade j
ust shrugged like I should have expected it.
In all honesty, he’s right. I should have expected a rallying of the troops. After the last year of getting to know these people, none of it should be a surprise. They’re a bunch of busybodies who are all in each other’s business, but I wouldn’t have them any other way.
So here I am, playing with Carson while the rest of them discuss the situation and decide the best way to proceed. I almost feel jealous of Jaxon who couldn’t be here because of his clinics. Lucky man.
This could be a really simple conversation because I can already tell them the answer… continue the way we have been and give it a rest. But no one wants to hear it from me. I tried for about thirty seconds when we got here but it became clear my ideas were unwelcome, so I gave up temporarily. I’m giving them all a chance to let off some steam before I push back.
Besides, this really is an amazing train set. I have no idea where Heath found it, but it’s a dining-room-sized table with all these tracks Carson can connect to make whatever design he wants. And the train runs on battery power so as soon as he’s done building, the train will go on its own.
Whenever he’s finally done, that is. He keeps building and rebuilding until he gets it just right. I suppose there are worse ways to pass the time while everyone else decides on my life plan.
“Not like that NicNic.” Carson, also known as Spiderman since he still refuses to take off his Halloween costume a month later, takes the pieces out of my hand. “I’ll do it.”
“I thought that’s how you wanted me to do it.”
“No. It’s wrong. I’ll do it for you.”
“Et tu, Carson? You don’t believe I can get things done myself either?”
He looks at me blankly, probably because he doesn’t speak Latin, then goes back to building, putting the pieces together the exact same way I did before he insisted it was wrong. Seems like the story of my life these days.
“She just needs to call the police and report it,” I hear Paul say for the umpteenth time as he continues to pace on the large patio. He’s been walking back and forth since we got here. I suspect he did that all last night as well. “That’s just all there is to it.”