Her Sweet Surrender (Brie's Submission Book 21)

by Red Phoenix

  “Do what?”

  “Force me to hit you.”

  Sir answered with a grave smile. “Durov did something similar to me in college. There are times when the only way to release pain is to inflict it.”

  Faelan nodded, then looked down at the floor for a moment. He met Sir’s gaze again and said, “I may need another session with you.”

  Sir rubbed his jaw. “Anytime.”

  After they left, Brie and Sir walked to the hospital nursery and gazed at the tiny baby swaddled in a pink blanket with the name Wallace, Baby Girl attached to the crib over her head.

  “I’m so sad for her,” Brie said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  Sir put his arm around her, kissing the top of her head. “We can’t change what happened today, but we can commit to giving this child and Wallace the support they need.”

  Brie shuddered. She turned into his embrace and held him tight. “I keep thinking that this was almost my fate—raising Hope without you.”

  Sir placed his hand firmly on her stomach. “I am not going anywhere, babygirl.”

  Tribute

  As they drove home from the hospital, Brie stared out of the car window. Although she tried, she couldn’t stop replaying Kylie’s last few moments in her head. There had been nothing to indicate anything was wrong. Even Dr. Glas hadn’t been worried.

  With the miracle of modern medicine, Brie never considered she could die during childbirth, and a chill of fear set in as she looked down at her stomach.

  By the time they reached Rytsar’s home, Brie was in desperate need to hold Hope. She raced out of the car and started pounding on the door.

  Rytsar was the one who answered it. The look of sympathy in his eyes alerted Brie to the fact that Sir had already texted him about what had happened.

  “Where’s Hope?” she whimpered before he could even speak.

  Rytsar pointed to the living room. Hope was on the floor, petting Little Sparrow. The pup’s eyes were half-closed, looking as if she was in dog heaven.

  Brie ran to Hope, tears running down her face. She picked up her little girl and squeezed her against her chest. Never in her life, other than the day she was born, had Brie been so grateful to hold her little girl.

  “I am sorry, radost moya,” Rytsar said gently, coming up behind her.

  Brie nodded, but the emotions bubbled up once more making it impossible to speak.

  She lowered her head, rocking Hope in her arms to keep from falling apart.

  “It has been a harrowing day,” Sir said, laying his hand on her shoulder in comfort.

  Rytsar glanced at his swollen jaw. “It looks like it was for you as well, moy droog.”

  Sir gestured to his face. “What, this? This is nothing.”

  Rytsar frowned in concern. “Would vodka help?”

  Brie felt the dam of her emotions starting to break and shook her head vigorously. Needing solitude, she walked to Rytsar’s bedroom with Hope and lay down on his bed.

  Hope stared at her questioningly as silent tears rolled down her face onto the pillow. When she reached out and touched Brie’s wet cheek, the innocent contact caused a painful sob to escape Brie’s lips, shattering her last vestige of control.

  Brie pulled Hope closer as the immense sorrow she felt for Kylie caused a torrent of tears to unleash. The pain that followed consumed her until she felt the bed sink on both sides.

  In an act of quiet solidarity, Rytsar and Sir joined her on the bed, fully clothed, and wrapped their protective arms around her as she hugged Hope tight.

  The entire BDSM community reached out to Faelan after hearing about the tragic news, but he refused all contact with the outside world.

  Even Brie and Sir were advised by Marquis not to visit when they spoke to him on the phone, but he assured them, “He is working through this difficult transition.”

  When Brie asked how the baby was, Marquis was silent.

  “Is the child okay?” Sir asked with concern.

  Marquis took a moment before answering. “The baby is healthy and is being well cared for.”

  Brie glanced at Sir, sensing Marquis Gray was keeping something from them.

  Sir repeated their commitment to help. “What can we do?”

  “Nothing at the moment, Sir Davis. But if you feel inclined, pray for him.”

  Brie felt uneasy when they hung up. “What is Marquis not telling us?”

  Sir looked equally troubled. “For now, we must trust Gray to guide Wallace through this. Once we see him in person at the funeral, we will be able to better judge if Faelan needs our intervention.”

  In the days leading up to the funeral, Brie was plagued by formless nightmares. She could never remember her dreams, but a feeling of darkness and despair permeated her soul the moment she woke, completely terrifying her. She was certain that, on some subconscious level, she was picking up on Faelan’s state of mind while she slept.

  The morning of the service, Brie attempted to put on her makeup with trembling hands. The idea she was attending Kylie’s funeral seemed unreal—being so young, and a new mother.

  Kylie deserved to be there to love and care for her child. Brie could not accept that life could be that cruel.

  As Sir straightened his tie beside her, he said, “I know today will be extremely difficult, but Wallace will depend on your strength.”

  She turned to Sir with sad eyes and nodded.

  He held out his arms to her. “I know you are fighting many emotions right now, babygirl. You’re not only dealing with the loss of your friend, but I’m certain it reconnects you with the heavy emotions my own brush with death caused you. Added to that is the overwhelming concern you have for Wallace’s wellbeing.”

  Her bottom lip quivered, astonished that he understood. “How did you know?”

  Sir caressed her cheek. “Every emotion plays out on your beautiful face.”

  Brie closed her eyes, uncertain if she would be strong enough for the day and what lay ahead. She immediately squashed the thought.

  Of course, she could do this. It paled in comparison to what Faelan had to face today. Brie stared into the mirror while she finished getting ready. Fate gave a person opportunities in their life to make a difference. No one would blame Brie for being an emotional wreck at the funeral, but that would be of no help to Faelan.

  Looking up at Sir, she felt a surge of conviction. Faelan needed her, and she would not fail him.

  Sir leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips, whispering, “Heart of a warrior.”

  With newfound determination, Brie kissed Sir on the cheek before heading out of the bedroom.

  The Reynolds had asked to watch Hope. They wanted to support Faelan by keeping the children at home.

  Judy grabbed Brie’s hands when she saw her. “I want you to think of Hope playing with Jonathan when things get too hard today. I hope, in some way, it will help.”

  Brie nodded, overcome with gratitude. “It will. Thank you.”

  Jack shook his head in sorrow. “Such a tragedy. Kylie was a positive light in the world. I hate to think what a blow this is to Todd.”

  “One can only imagine,” Sir answered solemnly.

  Judy handed Sir a card. “Would you mind making sure he gets this? We want him to know we are happy to babysit his little girl anytime he needs it.” She looked at her husband. “It’s one of the perks of being retired, and we hope it will give him peace of mind to know his daughter will be well cared for.”

  “I will be certain to give it to him, Auntie.” Sir slipped the card into the pocket of his suit.

  Jack put his hand on Sir’s back. “You’ve been through hell yourself, so I’m confident you can help him through this, Thane.”

  “I hate that he must face this.” Sir sighed sadly. “I owe the man in more ways than I can count and I am prepared to do whatever is necessary to help.”

  “Todd is fortunate to have good people supporting him,” Jack replied, patting his back one last time before pickin
g up Hope’s car seat and heading to the door.

  Sir followed them to the door and smiled at Hope before leaning down to kiss her on the head. “Goodbye, sweet angel.”

  On the drive to the funeral, Brie reflected on how selfless Faelan had been when he agreed to act as her protector after Rytsar was abducted. He even volunteered to travel to Russia in an attempt to save Rytsar, knowing he might not come back—and he did not come back the same man.

  Yet, Faelan faced the consequences of his decisions without complaint. Today, he would need her to be just as selfless. Steeling herself for the day, Brie practiced her breathing.

  “Are you okay, babygirl?”

  She turned her head to meet his gaze. “I will be.”

  He nodded in encouragement.

  So many people attended Kylie’s funeral, it was standing room only. Although Brie and Sir arrived early, they sat in the far back. Brie could barely see Faelan up at the front.

  He sat, hunched over, his face buried in his hands. Marquis sat beside him, his hand on Faelan’s back. On the opposite side of Marquis, Celestia sat rocking the tiny infant.

  Glancing around the room, Brie saw many faces she recognized, including Dr. Glas, who was standing on the other side of the room. Brie was pleased to see the doctor had come in support. Although she thought it unusual, she found it touching and was comforted by his presence.

  The entire room was silent except for the occasional cough and quiet sniffles. The mood of the gathering was intensely somber as everyone stared at the closed coffin and the beautiful portrait of Kylie beside it. She was beaming at everyone in attendance with her winning smile.

  Brie understood why Faelan couldn’t bear to look at it.

  Even though it was held in a church, it was not a heavily religious ceremony. Instead, it was about celebrating Kylie’s life and the people she had touched. Brie heard that her parents had spent days creating the video of Kylie, which they played during the service.

  For the first time, Brie saw pictures of Kylie as a baby. It struck Brie how closely her daughter resembled her, with those big expressive eyes and that cute button nose.

  Gut-wrenching sobs came from up front as both families mourned for her loss, but Faelan remained silent, hunched over with his head lowered.

  When the pastor invited people to speak, Kylie’s brother was the first to come forward. He shared memories of their childhood and the fact that Kylie graduated top of her class. What he remembered most, however, was the excitement in Kylie’s voice when she confessed she’d found the man she was going to marry when she was still in high school. That had stayed with him because she did end up marrying him before she died.

  “I’ve never seen a woman more in love,” her brother confessed, glancing at Faelan.

  All eyes turned to him, but Faelan kept his face buried in his hands, oblivious to everyone around him.

  Unfazed, Kylie’s bother continued but, partway through his eulogy, the baby started to fuss. When Celestia’s efforts failed and she couldn’t quiet her, both grandmothers attempted to comfort the child to no avail.

  Faelan made no move to quiet the child.

  Brie felt sad for the baby but understood. All she had to do was put herself in Faelan’s place to realize he was in too much pain to help anyone—even his little girl.

  Once Celestia had her quiet again, the service continued without interruption. Normally, immediately following the funeral, the grieving family stood outside to greet those in attendance and allow them to express their condolences.

  However, at the end of this service, Marquis stood up and addressed everyone in attendance.

  “Honoring the wishes of the family, we ask that you make your way to your cars. We will follow the limousine to the cemetery where there will be a short graveside service.”

  Marquis then placed his hand on Faelan’s shoulder.

  Faelan glanced up at Marquis with a look of relief. He stood up and hurried out of the back of the church without saying a word to anyone.

  “This does not bode well,” Sir murmured under his breath as they filed out of the church.

  “I agree, Sir,” Brie whimpered.

  Sir rested his hand on Brie’s shoulder as they waited for Marquis and Celestia to emerge from the church.

  Rytsar joined them. “The boy is not well.”

  Sir frowned. “It’s far worse than I thought.”

  “What are we going to do, moy droog?”

  “We need to speak to Wallace alone.”

  “Agreed.”

  When Marquis and Celestia finally appeared, the three walked over to join them. Celestia was dabbing her eyes as they approached, while Marquis Gray held the tiny baby.

  “It was a beautiful service, but my heart is utterly broken,” Celestia confessed, unable to stop her tears.

  Brie immediately hugged her, squeezing her tight.

  “We are concerned about Wallace,” Sir told Marquis.

  “As you should be, he’s been inconsolable since her death.” Marquis glanced at his wife. “Celestia hasn’t been able to get him to eat anything.”

  Brie looked at Marquis in alarm.

  Celestia stared at the tiny baby in Marquis Gray’s arms. “He won’t even look at the child.”

  “It sounds like he’s given up,” Rytsar stated.

  “I’m afraid that is the case,” Marquis said solemnly. “He is seeing a therapist under my advisement, but…it doesn’t seem to be enough.”

  Celestia looked at Sir with concern. “I’m afraid he may end up in the hospital if things don’t change soon.”

  “We won’t let that happen,” Rytsar assured her.

  Turning to Brie, Marquis said, “Faelan has mentioned you several times. It seems he feels connected to you since you were both there when she passed.”

  Tears welled up in Brie’s eyes as she remembered that moment. She had to swallow twice before she could speak. Clearing her throat, she asked him, “What can I do, Marquis Gray?”

  He took a few moments to consider. “I get the impression you are the only one he might open up to.”

  Marquis Gray turned to Sir. “However, I am uncertain how that would play out. The three of you have a complicated history.”

  “Are you talking about the fact that he loved Brie once?”

  Marquis nodded.

  Glancing at Brie, Sir stated, “I am confident my wife can navigate those waters. If the interaction became unhealthy, she would simply disengage.”

  To Marquis, he said, “Brie and I are both committed to helping Wallace in whatever capacity needed.”

  “Then I suggest you come to the house tonight after he’s had a chance to recover from the strain of this gathering.” Marquis looked at both of them, adding, “I am grateful to you.”

  When the limousine pulled up to the front of the church, Marquis handed the baby to Celestia and shook Sir and Rytsar’s hands, nodding to Brie respectfully.

  As Sir escorted Brie to their car, she noticed Mary quietly talking with Lea and Hunter. It made sense that Mary was here to support Faelan, but Brie wondered what she was feeling.

  When Mary glanced her way, Brie smiled sadly at her. Mary nodded in response and bumped Lea. When Lea looked up and saw Brie, she put her hand over her heart and mouthed the words, we love you.

  Brie appreciated having her friends’ support. It gave her the boost she needed as she got into the car and they joined the long procession of vehicles with their lights on. Because it was such a large turnout, the cars stretched out for almost half a mile.

  It was a moving tribute to Kylie, but so horribly tragic.

  Confessions

  It took considerable time for everyone to gather at the burial site because so many had come. Faelan stayed in the limousine while they waited for people who’d parked far away to walk to the grave.

  Sir used the time to go up to Faelan’s parents to offer their condolences. The moment Faelan’s mother saw him, she immediately threw her arms around hi
m. “Mr. Davis, it is always a blessing to see you, even at a terrible time like this.”

  The couple looked even more beaten and frail than they had when Brie had met them at the hospital several years ago before Faelan’s kidney surgery.

  Mr. Wallace gave Sir and Brie a firm handshake. “You two gave us our son back, we will forever be grateful.” Glancing at the darkened windows of the limousine, he muttered, “I only hope you can help him now.”

  “We’ll do everything in our power,” Sir assured him.

  “He seems unreachable this time,” Mrs. Wallace whimpered, wiping tears from her eyes.

  “Losing Kylie is more…” Brie started choking up. “…than he can bear.”

  Mrs. Wallace grabbed Brie’s hand. “I heard that you were there. It must have been terrible.”

  Brie held the tears back, determined to be strong for all of them. “I’m glad he wasn’t alone.”

  “Poor Kylie,” Faelan’s father said, swiping hastily at his eyes.

  “It’s a tragedy on all accounts,” Sir stated, putting his arm around Brie. She was grateful for the physical support.

  “The baby is healthy,” Mr. Wallace said gruffly. “We take comfort in that.”

  “She is a beautiful little girl,” Brie agreed.

  “I wish Todd would hold her…” Mrs. Wallace sniffed.

  Brie gave Sir a worried look. She hadn’t realized Faelan wasn’t interacting with his child at all.

  Mr. Wallace walked them to Kylie’s parents and introduced them.

  Brie could barely look her mother in the eyes, aware of the pain she was suffering. Feeling the need to comfort her, Brie wrapped her arms around the grieving woman. “I’m so sorry.”

  The woman grew stiff in Brie’s arms and only nodded.

  Kylie’s father asked Brie in a choked voice. “How was she…at the end?”

  Brie had prepared herself for the question and answered in the gentlest way she could. “She was happy. I will never forget the joy on her face when she held her daughter or the way your granddaughter looked at her with such love.”

  “She didn’t die in pain?” Kylie’s mother whimpered.