That gave me a giddy little feeling in my stomach, but I fought the smile attempting to lift my lips as hope tried to rise higher in my heart, pushing my ever-present fear away—but only just a little.
“I called him after your text saying you were on the ground,” Violet informed me. “He casually asked if we might want to grab dinner or something.”
“Mexican?” When my bestie made a face, I couldn’t help but laugh. “How disgusting was it watching them pig out on nachos?”
“I honestly think Jagger let Mase win,” she said as she made a grossed-out face. “But it was still like watching two wild beasts who hadn’t eaten in months devour all that salsa, queso, and guacamole. The waitstaff kept giving us looks, and I’m fairly sure our waitress was scared of losing a finger if she got too close.” She shook her head, causing her hair to fall over one shoulder. “Mason ate all those nachos and was still able to eat a burrito that was practically bursting at the seams with beef, rice, and beans.”
“Please don’t ruin Mexican food for me,” I snickered as I rolled onto my side. “If we’re going to dinner, maybe we should have Italian or Japanese instead.”
“I’m okay with hibachi,” Vi agreed with a nod. “And it’s not like Jagger will say no to you.”
Rolling my eyes, I picked up the book she had been reading. “What’s this?” My brows lifted when I saw the title, and I had to swallow the sudden knot that filled my throat. The book was simply called Untitled, but the cover showed a girl huddled in a dark corner. “Vi…”
She snatched it back and, after placing the bookmark in to keep her place, put the book in the top drawer of her nightstand. “My support group suggested I read it,” she muttered. “It’s about a girl struggling with not falling apart for her friends and family after her sister committed suicide. It’s an eye-opener as to how those around me must have felt when I admitted to having…thoughts.”
“Are you okay? You haven’t been thinking about it again, have you?” I wasn’t so sure I wanted to go to dinner now that my stomach was knotting up. Without realizing it, I was holding my breath as I waited for her answer.
“No, Shaw. It’s been a while since I’ve had those thoughts. Once I started living for myself and not for the future Luca and I were supposed to have, my head cleared enough for me to see that I want to live a hell of a lot more than I want to hide from the pain that made me feel like I was being ripped apart.” She crawled over to me and snuggled against me. “I promise you can relax. You don’t need to make Jagger babysit me when you can’t be here with me on the weekends.”
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek. “I can’t help it.”
“If I’d known there was going to be girl-on-girl action going on here, I would have left a hell of a lot sooner.”
Violet snorted as we lifted our heads to find Jagger standing in the doorway. He had a smirk on his face, but his pale-blue eyes were glued to me. I couldn’t stop myself from running my gaze over him hungrily. I hadn’t seen him in four days, and I felt starved just for the sight of him.
Dressed in well-worn jeans, a black button-up shirt, and his hair styled and pushed back from his face, he looked so delicious my mouth watered. I pressed my lips into a hard line to keep it from falling open and drooling all over Vi’s bed. Violet threw a pillow at him, which he caught before it could hit him in the face.
Laughing, he walked across the room and placed the pillow at the head of the bed before sitting down beside me. “Missed you, Dimples,” he said as he lay down beside me and didn’t hesitate to pull me against his side.
My heart gave a happy little leap in my chest, and I cuddled into him for a few seconds before pushing him off the bed. He landed with a hard crash on the floor, causing Violet to laugh. I stood, combing my fingers through my hair while I grinned down at him. The hunger in his own eyes was enough to make me gulp and quickly look anywhere else but at him. “Vi and I decided on hibachi for dinner. You’re driving.”
“You could have just been honest and said you missed me too,” he said as he got to his feet.
“Where’s the fun in that?” I asked as I wrinkled my nose, flirting instead of admitting aloud that I’d physically ached from missing him.
Mason didn’t like Japanese food, so he said he was going to have a bowl of cereal since his parents were at dinner with Uncle Drake and Aunt Lana. Violet climbed into the back of Jagger’s car, while Jagger opened the passenger door for me. I was tempted to get in the back with Vi, but I couldn’t stop the need to brush up against him as I got in.
Before I could bend to get in the car, he caught my hip and pulled me against him. Lowering his head, he brushed his lips over the shell of my ear. “I need to talk to you about something.” My head snapped up at how serious his voice was. “It’s important.”
I glanced at Violet, sitting patiently in the back seat. “Can it wait until after dinner?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I want to talk to you about this alone, so after we drop off Violet later, will you take a drive with me?”
“Okay,” I agreed, while inside, I was quaking with sudden anxiety.
All through dinner, I tried to keep my mind off what Jagger might want to talk about, but my head kept clouding with the possibilities. I was thankful that we were at a grill with six other people and we couldn’t have a deep conversation. I smiled and laughed at the chef as he did tricks and tossed shrimp into everyone’s mouth. Jagger and the two other guys at our grill tried to see how many each of them could catch.
When the chef tossed the last of the shrimp in Jagger’s direction, I jumped in the way and caught it in my own mouth, making everyone around us roar with laughter. Chewing, I winked at Jagger, and his eyes dilated with need.
Once we dropped Violet off at her house, Jagger drove us toward LA. It took me a few minutes to realize we weren’t just going to a public beach to talk, and I glanced over at him skeptically. “Where exactly are we going?”
“I want to show you something,” he said with a shrug as he changed lanes. “We can talk when we get there.”
“Talk about what?” I muttered, not completely sure I wanted to know.
His fingers tightened on the steering wheel, and my heart rate only jacked up more. “Just be a little patient with me, Dimples. Please?”
“O-okay,” I whispered and turned my head to look out the side window.
I felt his hand cover mine, and I let him entwine our fingers. I glanced down at our joined hands, at the way he held on to me like he couldn’t bear to let go, and relaxed a little.
We stayed quiet as he drove us into the city and then into an apartment building’s garage. Frowning because I recognized the place, I glanced around, expecting to see people we knew. This used to be where Lucy and Harris lived before they moved to a house in Malibu. Jenna Stevenson and her wife Angie had lived there too before buying a house there as well.
“Why are we here?” I asked when I didn’t see anyone familiar in the garage.
“Harris still owned his apartment here,” he said as he turned to face me. “Or he did until a few days ago. I bought it from him.”
“You’re moving?” He nodded, and I didn’t know how to react. He was only eighteen, but just for a few more weeks. “Does that mean you’re not going to come visit me as much?”
He brought our still-joined hands to his lips and kissed my fingertips. “I’ll come see you whenever you want. But I was kind of hoping you would come visit me. Here.”
“O-oh,” I whispered unsteadily. “I-is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”
His brows pulled together in a deep frown. “What did you think I wanted to talk about, Dimples?”
I lifted one shoulder in an attempt to seem casual. “I don’t know.” My eyes fell to our hands, and I swallowed the knot in my throat. “Maybe… Maybe you wanted to tell me we couldn’t hang out anymore now that Cannon is back.”
“Fuck Cannon!” he exploded, dropping my hands. But even as my heart
dropped that he wasn’t touching me, Jagger cupped my face and pulled me closer so he could kiss my forehead. The soft brush of his lips over my skin made me shiver as goose bumps popped up along my entire body. Why did something as innocent as that small contact feel so good and so damn powerful? “Nothing is going to change now that your brother is home, Shaw. You’re still going to be my number one priority. You are the one who comes first, no matter what. I want us, and I don’t care who doesn’t like it. I’m not giving you up for anyone or anything.”
My exhale was shuddery, and I leaned into his caress. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t let the fear of getting hurt get in my way, and I kissed him.
But all too soon, he was pulling back, his breathing labored as he adjusted himself in his jeans. “Let me show you my new place,” he said.
Upstairs in his apartment, he showed me around. There were two bedrooms, and other than the absence of a bed in the master, the place was fully furnished. “Lu and Harris left everything since they got all new stuff when they moved to their house. I’m just waiting on a new bed before I officially move in next week.” Reaching into his pocket, Jagger pulled out two keys on separate rings and placed one in my hand.
I frowned down at the key then up at him. “What’s this?”
“I want you to come and go as you please,” he told me as he pulled me down with him onto the couch in the living room. “I want you to think of this place as yours. Show up whenever you want. Leave whenever you want…although I’m hoping you won’t want to leave too often.”
I stuffed the key into my front pocket before scooting a little closer. “What if I show up here at midnight on a Friday night?” I asked in a husky voice and felt him shiver.
He lowered his head until his lips were almost brushing my own. “Fuck, baby. I would love that.”
“Yeah?” Jagger nodded, his nose skimming over mine. “What if I want to sleep in your bed?”
He grasped my hip and pulled me across his lap so I was straddling him. “I’m not going to complain if you want to sleep beside me.”
I cocked my head, watching him through my lashes. “What if sleeping isn’t what I have in mind?”
His jaw clenched. “Once you’re eighteen, I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want, Shaw. Until then, sleeping is all we’re going to do in our bed.”
“Our…bed?” I repeated with a soft gasp.
His head fell back against the couch as he looked up at me while his fingers flexed on my ass. “Help me plan a party for when I officially move in,” he said instead of answering. “We can invite all the cousins and a few people from my road crew and, of course, the band.”
Deciding to let him change the subject, I shifted on his lap. When he groaned as I pressed into his thick hard-on, I hid a grin. “Okay. When do you want to have it?”
“My graduation is this coming weekend, so let’s shoot for the following Saturday. We should have this place ready by then, don’t you think?”
I glanced around, nodding. “It already looks good. A few decorations and it would be ready to go for a party.”
“You can bring an overnight bag and stay the weekend,” he continued. “Violet can stay too and sleep in the guest room. We’ll just tell the parentals you two will share, so the dads don’t get all homicidal.”
Excitement made my entire body tingle, and I pressed down harder on him. “So, we’re going to share a bed?”
“We’re going to sleep in the same bed,” he confirmed, and I quickly hid my eyes so he couldn’t see what I was thinking.
Sleeping was the last thing I planned on doing with him if I was going to spend the weekend in his bed, but he didn’t need to know that.
Chapter 21
Shaw
My parents didn’t keep many secrets from each other as far as I knew. They always encouraged my brother and me to come to them both, and we never really tried to play one parent off the other. Except maybe when Cannon would get into trouble when we were younger and convince me to use my “daddy’s girl” status to try to get him a lesser punishment.
But whenever I’d needed to talk to my parents about something personal, I just went to them both. The first time I got my period, I’d simply walked into the living room and announced I needed to go to the store and get some “little girl tampons,” not in the least bit embarrassed to talk about it in front of my dad—or anyone else, for that matter.
Of course, Cannon had been there with Jagger at the time. My brother had made a gagging noise and ran to the bathroom to pretend to throw up. The ass. Jagger, having grown up with an older sister, had given me a concerned look and asked if I was okay. The next day, when he’d come over to visit again, he’d brought an entire grocery bag full of my favorite chocolates.
Two nights later, after giving what I wanted some thought, I glanced at my parents over dinner. “I need to go to the gynecologist.”
Cannon choked on his food and quickly reached for his water glass, while our parents gave him a dispassionate frown before turning their gazes on me.
“You have something that needs a shot of penicillin to cure?” my dickheaded brother asked when he’d finally caught his breath.
Dad slapped his hand down on the table so hard the dishes rattled. “Watch it,” he snarled at my brother.
Ignoring Cannon, I focused on Mom. “What’s your opinion on the best birth control?” She was a registered nurse, so I knew she would not only give me her thoughts as a woman, but as an informed professional as well.
She didn’t even blink at my question, instead, going into detail about the different forms available. Dad even put his two cents into the conversation, and by dessert, the three of us had decided that a low dose pill would work the best for me.
“I’ll call and make an appointment for you with my doctor in the morning,” Mom promised as she placed her napkin on the table and stood. Her piercing blue eyes fell on my brother. “Cannon, since you have such a smartass mouth, you can do the dishes. Isn’t that what they punished you with when you ran your trap at school?”
He clenched his jaw. “It was usually toilets I had to clean, but yeah.”
“That’s right. Bathrooms were your specialty.” Mom pointed toward the hall bathroom. “Before you head to LA in the morning for your meeting, I expect that bathroom to sparkle.” Her gaze fell on me. “Shaw, you’re excused.”
I jumped to my feet before she could find a reason to make me start cleaning something and made a run for my room. I didn’t have homework since there were only a few days left of school before summer break. Finals had been the week before, and the only thing we’d been doing in my classes this week was goofing off for the most part.
I’d been spending the time planning Jagger’s party. Making lists of who to invite, what foods and drinks to serve. I’d texted Jagger a few times to confirm if certain things would be okay, and he’d told me repeatedly that whatever I wanted to do was more than fine with him.
Thinking about how easily he kept giving in to me, I couldn’t help smiling.
As if my thoughts conjured him, my phone rang, and I glanced down to find Jagger’s face on my screen as a video call came in. Hitting connect, I leaned back against my bed’s headboard. “Will Luca be home by next weekend?” I asked in lieu of greeting. “I want to invite Lyric, but not if Luca is going to be back. I don’t think Violet is ready to be in the same room with him yet.”
“He’s not even coming home, from what I’ve heard. Ma said something about getting him an apartment close to campus, and she’s been talking to some real estate agent about it so she could get him moved in before the end of the week. With football camp, training, and everything, I guess it’s just better if he stays close to school.” He blew out a heavy exhale. “And then there’s the whole Megan thing.”
I frowned when I got a look at his tight face. “What about Megan?” I gritted out.
Fuck, I hated that bitch. With everything that had happened between Luca and Violet, I�
�d tried to keep thoughts of Megan Hawthorn pushed down, but if it weren’t for that bitch, things might have been a hell of a lot different. Supposedly, she’d gotten pregnant after Luca fucked her, but he’d sworn repeatedly that he’d worn protection and it hadn’t broken. I’d always thought that maybe she wasn’t really pregnant to begin with.
Things could get faked all too easily, and then she’d suddenly had a miscarriage right around the time she would have started showing a baby bump.
The girl was unstable, too. Jagger told me that his mom had to get a restraining order against Megan because she’d attacked Luca. Her parents made her leave school and move back home after that, and no one had seen any sign of her after that, until she had the “miscarriage.”
“She’s been showing up at Uncle Jesse’s the last week or so, crying that Luca was supposed to marry her. Begging Aunt Layla to go dress shopping with her. Screaming at them and demanding to know why they won’t accept her since she’s going to be their daughter-in-law.” Jagger grimaced and shook his head. “Don’t tell Vi, okay? I know how touchy a subject Megan is for her.”
“I won’t say anything,” I promised. “But what are they doing about Megan?”
“Ma got another restraining order against her, but she showed up again last night even after being served with the paperwork. I heard her all the way in my house. She was yelling and threatening that she wasn’t ever going to let Luca see his parents again if they didn’t accept her.” He rolled his eyes. “The cops were called, but by the time they got there, she was long gone.”
“She obviously needs to be in a mental hospital,” I murmured as I grabbed my notebook full of all the lists for the party. I set the phone on the bed and then leaned over the notebook to make a few more notes. “That girl has something seriously wrong with her.”
“She’s definitely unstable.” He agreed then groaned like he was in physical pain. “Baby, if you’re going to sit like that, either pull up your shirt so I’m not getting a tease of your tits…or pull it down a little more so I can at least see your nipples.”
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