A Curse So Dark and Lonely

by Brigid Kemmerer

  Her expression is some mixture of amused and perplexed. “What’s wrong with you? Hasn’t anyone ever given you a hug?”

  I feel so off balance. “Not—not in recent memory.”

  “I believe that, too.” She glances down at my hand. “You really do have cards.”

  “I do.”

  She pushes loose hair behind her ear. “We can play. Come on.”

  We take seats by the fire. The cards flip between my fingers as I shuffle. I am glad for a task to occupy my hands. I have no idea how to move forward.

  I deal quickly, then lay the remaining cards on the table, turning one faceup. I have two princes, which means I can steal her kings, but I never waste them early. Normally, I would watch her movements, trying to determine what cards she holds, but my mind is trapped in the moment when her arms were wrapped around my waist.

  Silently, she lays a card on the pile. Beside us, the fire snaps.

  I play a five of stones. She plays a five of swords.

  We play in silence, drawing cards when necessary.

  I fall into the rhythm of the game. Lilith made a comment about how this inn was lacking, but I like the intimacy of this room, the warmth of this fire. The familiarity of a game, the newness of my opponent. The castle was cold. Empty. This inn, this moment, is not.

  Eventually, Harper draws and her eyebrows go up, just a little. She moves the card to the leftmost part of her hand and draws another, adding to the right side of her hand until she finds one to add to the pile.

  I play a prince card.

  Her eyes shoot to mine, but she pulls the leftmost card free and hands me her king of swords. “I literally just got that.”

  “I know.”

  She considers that, then lays down a ten of stones. Her tone is contemplative and quiet. “I don’t think I can keep hating you.”

  “Such sweet words of affection, my lady.” I play a ten of hearts. “You honor me.”

  Her expression turns ruefully amused—but she quickly sobers. “I kept thinking about all those women you kidnapped, how it made you seem like this arrogant, entitled jerk. I didn’t realize you were only doing what you had to do.”

  I add a card to the pile. “My father once said we are all dealt a hand at birth. A good hand can ultimately lose—just as a poor hand can win—but we must all play the cards fate deals. The choices we face may not be the choices we want, but they are choices nonetheless.”

  She says nothing, simply adding another card to the pile herself.

  “Grey has grown skilled at finding girls who have no family, no one to miss them.” I pause and look at her. “Often there is no trickery to it—they come willingly, with little more than the promise of a safe place to sleep. You, I suspect, would not have been lured so easily.”

  Her eyes are hard. “No.”

  “Why did you attack him?”

  “He had a girl. I thought he was some psycho murderer. I tried to stop him.”

  Of course she did. “So your choice led you here.”

  “Don’t try to pin this on me.”

  “I am not. I am saying that no matter how much I try to plan a means to end this curse, fate keeps dealing new cards.”

  Her expression goes still. Again, we play in silence for the longest time.

  I watch her draw another king. She’s more savvy this time, but she’s slower to add it to her hand.

  I play my other prince.

  “Stop it,” she says.

  I take the card she offers. “Stop being obvious.”

  She draws until she has a card to play. “I have a question for you, about all those other girls. Did you ever come close?”

  I sigh. “Sometimes victory seemed very close—other times, miles away.”

  “May I make an observation?”

  My hand goes still on my next card. “For certain.”

  She looks across at me. “You just said ‘victory.’ You didn’t say ‘love.’ ”

  I’m not sure I have a response to that. My initial reaction is to ask why that matters.

  My second reaction is to wonder why I ever thought it wouldn’t.

  Harper is not done. “Have you ever felt anything for any of these girls?”

  I lay down a two of swords and try not to think about how badly I want to push the hair back from her face again. “I do not feel nothing.” I pause. “But failure seems such a certainty that I have learned to guard myself from disappointment.”

  “Hmm.” She plays another card and lapses into silence again. From the kitchen below us, I hear ringing laughter from the innkeeper.

  It makes me wistful. I cannot remember the last time I sat at a crowded table, sharing stories and laughter.

  Then Harper says, “Do you really have no way to contact this enchantress who cursed you?”

  “No.” I play a card. “And I would not even if I could.”

  “Not even to help me get home?”

  I go still. I look at Harper. She does not know what she asks. “The Lady Lilith does nothing without cost. I have nothing to offer. Do you?”

  Her mouth opens, and I add, “You have seen my chambers on the third floor. Regardless of what you think of me, I would ask you to consider carefully what you’re asking.”

  She pales a little, but her voice is strong. “I will do whatever it takes to get home. If I have to face some sorceress, I’ll do it.”

  That makes me smile, but it’s grim. “Spoken like the Princess of Disi.”

  She blushes and looks back at the cards in her hand. But then she looks up at me. “I’m not kidding, Rhen. Do you have any way to contact her?”

  “No.” I pause, weighing how much to say. I imagine brazen Harper facing the capricious Lilith. Even if Lilith would return her to her home, any scenario I can fathom seems fraught with peril. “She shows herself from time to time, but her appearances are unpredictable.”

  “Would you ask her?” When I say nothing, Harper adds, “Or would you keep me prisoner?”

  My jaw is tight. “You do not know what you are asking. She is vicious. Cruel.”

  “But she will show up.”

  “She will.” I have no doubt.

  “You could tell her I want to go home. You could tell her I want something from her.”

  “She has sworn not to interfere with my attempts to break the curse. She may refuse.”

  Harper swallows. “But … but those are your attempts.” When she speaks, her voice isn’t fully certain. “If you promise to get me a meeting with Lady Lilith, I can promise to try to break the curse for you.”

  I sigh. She bargains like she plays cards—her emotions are fully on display. “I do not hesitate because I desire something from you. I hesitate because I am loath to sacrifice another person to her power.”

  “I have nothing to offer, either, Rhen. But that also means I have nothing to lose.”

  “Nothing to lose? Your brother? Your mother?”

  She looks away again. “There must be something you want.”

  Yes. There is much I want. But nothing so much that I would bargain for an audience with Lilith to get it. She is bad enough when she shows herself of her own accord.

  I open my mouth to refuse but then I consider the Queen of Syhl Shallow. I consider my plan. I consider my conversation with Grey.

  I look at Harper and play my next card. “As a matter of fact, there is.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  HARPER

  We’ve formed a truce. Sort of.

  Even this conversation about the sorceress who cursed him doesn’t feel like bargaining. There are no stakes, no veiled risk, not like when Dad tried to negotiate for more money or time. It’s leaving me off balance because I was ready to fight with Rhen for what I want, and there’s no fight in the man sitting across the table from me.

  Then again, he just said there is something he wants.

  I hold my cards close to my lap. “I told you I’d try to break the curse if you can make a meeting happen.”r />
  “An empty promise if your intent is to bargain for passage home.” He shrugs and lays down a queen of swords. “And unnecessary. That’s not what I want.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Come on.”

  “Do not misunderstand. I would give anything to break the curse. But I do know that bargaining for love will end in disappointment.”

  “Fine.” I add a queen of stones to the slowly growing stack. “Then what do you want?”

  “I would like for you to be Princess Harper, first daughter to the King of Disi. I would like to spread word of Emberfall’s alliance with your people, especially your father’s promise to send an army to drive Karis Luran out of my lands.”

  Each word hits me like a bullet. I expect him to crack a smile and say, “Just kidding.” But he delivers all that with the same gravity as everything else he says.

  I stare at him. “You … what?”

  “Do you truly need me to repeat it?”

  “No—but—” Maybe I do. “What?”

  “If I can convince my people—and Karis Luran—that Emberfall is not defenseless, that future conflicts may arise, I may be able to convince her army to leave.” He gives a slight shrug. “We may have to negotiate for trade, or possibly yield access to our harbor, but from what I have seen, our closed borders have led to suffering, so that may not be a poor outcome.”

  I might need to remind him I’m not actually a princess. I barely understand what he’s talking about. “But—”

  “It is not a perfect plan, admittedly.” He plays another card casually, like we’re discussing the weather. “But if we were to visit the biggest cities and make a declaration of our engagement—”

  “Whoa! Wait.”

  He offers a rueful smile. “Forgive me. A declaration of our alliance.”

  Like that one word is what tripped me up. “So you’re saying you want to keep this going? I just—I made that up! To get those guys to leave the inn! I can’t stop a whole army.”

  His eyes narrow, just a fraction. “Are you certain, my lady? You have surprised me before.”

  That makes me blush. “But there’s no army on our side. What if they don’t believe us?”

  “Then we have lost nothing.”

  I feel like we’ve fallen into the Twilight Zone—and considering the last couple of days, that’s saying something. “You want me to pretend to be a princess? I don’t know anything about Emberfall— or royalty—or—”

  “Such is your charm,” he says. He must see my expression, because he adds, “Truly. My people have never heard of Disi. That means your customs, your mannerisms, your version of royalty—none of it is subject to question.”

  “They haven’t heard of Disi because it doesn’t exist,” I hiss.

  “My father always warned that it does not take an army to defeat an army. He spoke of insurrection within Emberfall—but the same can apply to the army of Syhl Shallow. If they believe they are outmanned, they may retreat to await further orders, rather than walk into a trap.”

  I can’t stop staring at him. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying right now?”

  He hesitates, then sits back. “You are right.” His tone is resigned. “This is foolhardy. I have gotten ahead of myself. And you have your own troubles. There is no reason to risk yourself for mine.”

  “No—I’m not—” I stop and rub my free hand over my face. This conversation has turned around too quickly. Piled on top of my worry about Jake, all this is a bit much to process.

  “My lady,” he says quietly.

  Slowly, I lower my hand and look at him.

  “This is not a bargain,” he says. “You ask me for a meeting with an enchantress; I ask you to risk your life for my people. Neither option guarantees your safety—or even a path home. As always, I have nothing to offer you. I can promise to intercede with Lilith on your behalf, but that is not worth what I am asking of you.”

  His voice is so earnest. Like when he spoke in the hallway, these words feel like truth. Like we’ve moved past pretense, and I’m finally seeing the real Rhen. Maybe it’s because he’s stopped talking about being cursed by something—and he’s started talking about doing something.

  “This was my father’s kingdom,” he says. “This is now my kingdom. I may not be able to save myself—but I may be able to save my people.”

  I think about what he said earlier, how the choices we get may not be the choices we want—but they’re still choices.

  I have a choice here. I can say no to this. Climbing down the trellis was risky—but this is insane. There’s no way it’ll work. Pretending to be a princess for three minutes doesn’t mean I can do it again.

  But what are my options? To say no? What will that mean for the people downstairs? What will that mean for me?

  My mother never backed down from the men who came to our door. She never left my father’s side—not even when she should have. She did it for me. And for Jake. And for our father, too, in a way.

  I swallow. “Okay.” I pause. “I’ll do it.”

  “My lady.” He looks as shocked as he did when I hugged him. It’s almost comical.

  “I’ll help you save your country and you’ll help me get home. Deal?” I put out a hand.

  He extends a hand, and I clasp it with mine. His palm is warm, his grip stronger than I’d expect.

  “Deal.” His hand holds mine like he doesn’t want to go. If he keeps looking at me like this, I’m going to start blushing.

  “It’s time to let go,” I say. My stupid voice is breathy.

  He lets go and sits back. “Play your next card.”

  Yes. Good. The game. Right.

  I have seven cards. He has six—two of which I know are kings. I have a king in my hand from when he originally dealt, but if I don’t find another, he’ll win.

  I lay down a four of stones on the discard pile. “What do we do now?”

  He plays a four of swords. “I think you should accept Freya’s offer.”

  “Freya’s—what?”

  “She offered to serve as lady-in-waiting, did she not? I believe you should accept. I will have Commander Grey seal off the problematic rooms in the castle. I have spoken with him about re-creating the Royal Guard so we may travel among the people and make our presence known.”

  I was stuck on wondering what a lady-in-waiting even does, but his last comment throws me. “You’ve already talked to Grey about this?”

  His eyes meet mine. “Of course.”

  Of course.

  I play a ten of swords. “How did you know I’d say yes?”

  “I did not.” He tosses a ten of stones onto the pile.

  I can’t decide if he’s infuriating or amazing. “But you just started making plans anyway?”

  He looks at me like I’m deliberately being obtuse. “My lady, I began joining my father on matters of state when I was ten years old. I had my own advisers by the time I was sixteen. I may not be able to find a path out of this curse, but I was raised to rule this kingdom.”

  Something about that is fascinating—but also a little sad. When I was ten, Mom was throwing my blankets on the floor to wake me up for school.

  Mom. My throat thickens and I have to clear it. I add a six of stones to the pile. “When I was ten, I could barely organize a bowl of cereal.”

  He adds a card to the pile. “Surely your courage and tenacity more than made up for it.”

  I frown at that. “I already said yes. You can save all the pretty words.”

  He draws back. “You believe me insincere? Do you think I would have asked this of just anyone?”

  I study him, thrown. “I don’t know.”

  “I assure you, I would not.” He glances meaningfully at my cards.

  He’s so matter-of-fact that his voice leaves no room for argument. I quickly put a card down, then fidget with the ones I have remaining. “Do you … do you think the cerebral palsy will be an issue?”

  “Do you believe it will be an issue, my lady?�
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  “Don’t do that. Don’t turn it back on me.”

  He plays another card. “While your weakness may be a disadvantage in some ways, it is an advantage in others. One I think you could use to your benefit.”

  That’s a pretty frank assessment. I’m not sure I mind. “How?”

  “It is easy to underestimate you.” He pauses, his gaze never leaving mine. “I know I did. I believe Grey did, too.”

  I’m blushing again. I sift through my remaining cards and draw. “Why do you want Freya to be my lady-in-waiting?”

  “Because I believe she will be loyal, and we will need people we can trust.” He waits for me to lay down a card, then matches it with one of his own. He only has three cards left. “Silvermoon Harbor is the closest major city. They once had a winter marketplace that drew merchants from all over Emberfall. We will ask the innkeeper if the market still stands. If so, that should be our first outing.”

  “What does Grey think of all this?”

  “He believes it is a plan fraught with unnecessary risk, but I have no better ideas.” He gives a humorless laugh. “If Silvermoon Harbor is as densely populated as it once was, he will certainly have his work cut out for him.”

  Well, that’s super reassuring. I stop deliberating and lay down a four of hearts. I have no idea what suit he’s got in his hand, but no matter what I play, I figure I’ve got a seventy-five percent chance of forcing him to draw. “So what’s our next move?”

  “We go downstairs. We join them for dinner. We discuss Karis Luran and share a bit of our intent.”

  I wet my lips. “And what if Lady Lilith shows up tomorrow and agrees to take me home?”

  “Then you return home, my lady.” He pauses. “And I will say you were called back to Disi to make arrangements to lead your father’s army.”

  He really does think of everything. “Do you seriously believe this will work?”

  “In matters of the heart, I am clearly hopeless.” He puts down his final card—a prince. A wild card.

  I stare at him, stunned. It didn’t matter what I played. He would have won anyway.

  “In matters of strategy,” he finishes, “I am not.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR