The Christmas Ball

by Lily Seabrooke

“You’re a good listener,” I said as I led the way. “You ask a lot of good questions.”

  “That’s what computer science is about, isn’t it? Asking good questions.”

  “Science in general, probably.”

  “Yeah, but in other sciences, you’re also interested in answering those questions. Computer scientists are like mathematicians, we only ever ask questions.”

  I laughed. “That’s cute.”

  “What’s cute?” She looked up at me, rushing to keep up with me, and I slowed down to match her.

  “When you get geeky about that kind of thing. I just think it’s cute.”

  I didn’t know what I was saying or why I was saying it, but she flushed, turned back ahead, hunched her shoulders as she walked. I was about to apologize when she spoke.

  “I’m not that cute. I think the cuter thing is the way your eyes light up when you get really excited talking about what you do.”

  I felt my breath hitch, and I had to struggle just to walk normally at that point. “Aren’t you a lady-killer,” I laughed, trying to dispel the nervousness. She flinched.

  “What are you talking about?” She laughed awkwardly, not looking at me. “Don’t be silly.”

  I was saved from my own comment by the jewelry store coming up on the right, and I turned, leading Alice into the land of polished, clean white and smooth surfaces. I put my hands in my pockets, just looking around at all the couples looking together, and tried my damnedest not to feel self-conscious about Alice staying close to my side.

  I let her take the lead, walking towards the back, up to a display of necklaces, and for a second I wondered if my little fantasy was about to play out in reality. Sure enough, she gasped, her hands to her mouth, and hurried up to one of them in particular, with intricate twisted red and gold. She lifted it off the mannequin bust, turned around, and I said,

  “You like that one?”

  “What do you think?” She was breathless as she turned it around, and I nodded. It was beautiful. Absolutely my style. It was the kind of thing I’d stop and stare at, but no way I could ever justify buying it for myself. But for Alice…

  “I love it,” I said. “Do you—”

  She unclasped it, and the next thing I knew, she had it around my neck. I blushed furiously as she leaned around me, clasping it behind me, and stepped back with her hands to her chest, her eyes wide.

  “Hold on,” I said. “I thought—”

  “It looks so wonderful on you,” she gasped. “You’re incredibly gorgeous.”

  “What?” I managed to blush harder, and when she spun a rack to point a mirror at me, I felt my stomach flop. It did look perfect on me. But I wasn’t about to let Alice buy me a necklace like this. I tried to look at the price tag, but she swatted my hand off it.

  “Don’t look at the price. Do you like it?”

  “You—you can’t buy me this,” I blurted. “How much—”

  “Don’t look at the price!” She took it off me, looking back down at it, and up at me with the brightest smile I’d ever seen. “Do you like it? I really like it for you.”

  I shook my head so hard my hair flew into my face. “I love it, but—”

  “Then it’s settled,” she said, slipping off towards the counter.

  “Alice!” I called, chasing her up to the register, where she’d already put it down and had her credit card out. Ugh. She was a fast draw thanks to her new purse. “Alice, c’mon,” I said.

  “Uh-oh.” Alice put her hand up over the price display just before the attendant scanned it, and she stuck out her tongue at me. “Stop looking. You’re not supposed to know how much your present costs.”

  She handed the card over. I swallowed. “You saw how much that purse cost.”

  “And that was your decision to let me know. And this is my decision not to let you know.”

  “Would you like gift wrapping for this?” the attendant said, stifling laughter.

  “No, I’m about to put it on her right now,” Alice said. I felt myself turn a few shades redder.

  The attendant printed out a receipt and I grabbed for it, but Alice was faster, cramming it into her purse. She winked at me. Ugh. Foiled by the purse again.

  She took the necklace, rushed outside the shop, and when I followed her out, she turned to me and slipped the necklace around my neck. My stomach dropped.

  This was not the fantasy I’d had in mind. Very close, but not quite.

  “I can’t believe you just pulled that,” I laughed breathlessly as she stepped back, looking over me with the necklace on.

  “You look perfect,” she breathed. She smiled wider until her cheeks were flushed, and she threw her arms around me all of a sudden. “Merry Christmas.”

  I swallowed hard. I shouldn’t have been going down this road, shouldn’t have been doing things like this with her, but…

  I put my arms around her, embraced her tightly, pulled her in close enough I could smell the brown sugar and shea butter of her shampoo. “Thank you, Alice,” I said. “I…”

  “Yeah?”

  My heart was pounding. I was already regretting it before I said it. “I’m sorry for giving you a non-answer. I’d love to stay close with you after this break.”

  I heard her breathe in sharply, and then she squeezed me tighter. “Really? You really mean that?”

  My heart was doing acrobatics. I’d swallowed an entire butterfly garden. “I-I really mean it. I haven’t met a lot of people who feel like you do… to me. I like being with you, a lot. I don’t want this to have to end.”

  “Oh, Lisette.” She squeezed me so tight it was hard to breathe, tiptoeing and laying her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my face. “I’m so glad. I’d worried maybe I was actually annoying you.”

  “Never,” I blurted. “You’re… you wouldn’t be annoying to me at all. I love the time I get to spend with you.”

  “Oh, stop it,” she laughed. “You’re going to make me blush. You’re so sweet.”

  God, I felt like I could have just died there. My heart was hammering out of control and I had a powerful urge to kiss her, and I had to purse my lips and just close my eyes, take in the moment. When she finally stepped away, I felt like I could breathe again, but that was until I saw the way her eyes sparkled at me.

  “I never thought I’d say this,” she laughed, “but I’m glad I came to this Christmas party.”

  I fingered the necklace and laughed back. “You know, I am too.”

  ∞∞∞

  “That’s perfect!” Alice lit up as one of the kids’ pairs pulled off a sequence of the dance. “You’re getting the hang of this so quickly!”

  “Lisette,” Rhys’s voice said, and it pulled me out of my reverie just watching Alice guide the kids. Rhys looked up at me, a little smile on her face. “Where did you get that necklace?”

  My hand went to it automatically. “Oh—Alice bought it for me today. Isn’t it pretty?”

  “She really likes you, huh?”

  I struggled not to blush, just offering a soft smile back. “Yes. We’re very good friends. You and Rose are close, too, aren’t you?”

  Rhys smiled a little wider, a devilish glint in her eyes. When she didn’t say anything, I just raised an eyebrow.

  “What’s the matter?”

  She gestured for me to bend over, and when I did, she leaned up and cupped her hand up to my ear to whisper. “You like her, don’t you?”

  My heart missed a beat. I stilled myself. “Of course,” I said. “We’re close friends—”

  “I think you like like her.”

  The blush won, and I felt my face get hot. “Oh, Rhys. Don’t be a gossip.”

  “Do you?” The glimmer in her eyes said she knew the answer. I knelt to her height and whispered back.

  “I like her a lot, but it’s important to keep certain boundaries. I respect her as a friend.”

  She tugged at her dress. “You’re doing that thing Alice told me about before. Where adults talk ar
ound something with big words so they don’t have to answer the question.”

  Damn. Alice was raising these girls well. I laughed despite myself. “You’re sharp,” I said. “I don’t think she likes girls like that.”

  “Did you ask her?”

  I shook my head. “I mean, most people don’t—”

  “So that means some people do. You didn’t ask her. You can’t just assume.” She put her hands on her hips. “And you didn’t say you don’t. That means you do, doesn’t it?”

  I scrunched up my face. “Rhys—”

  “What are we talking about?”

  I jumped out of my skin when I heard Alice behind me. Rhys giggled.

  “I’ll keep it a secret,” she said with a wink, and I felt my face burn as I turned to Alice, looking up at me with those bright eyes.

  “I can’t believe this,” Alice laughed. “My own niece and my really good friend, keeping secrets from me.”

  “It’s nothing,” I laughed, and I dropped my voice. “She just caught on to the person I like.”

  For a second, her face fell, and then she was smiling again. “Rhys is really sharp. I’m not surprised. Anyway, it’s time for lead. Rhys!” She leaned past me, down to where Rhys looked up. “Where’d Rose go?”

  “She’s fixing her shoes.”

  “Well, we’re about to start another practice. If she can’t dance, could you ask her to at least watch?”

  Rhys nodded and hurried out of the room, and Alice put a hesitant hand on my hip.

  “Shall we?” she said.

  “I’m ready when you are.”

  “I can’t believe you have someone you like,” she blurted, and made a face like she hadn’t expected herself to say that.

  “Do I seem that unaffectionate?”

  She shook her head hard. “No. Just… uh…” She laughed. “Can’t think of any Richmonds you’d like.”

  Weird, huh. I wonder. “Did I say it was someone here?”

  “Oh! That’s right, you didn’t.” She drew herself up to her full height. “I’m assuming. That’s not good of me. Well… let’s get dancing.”

  So we got dancing, right when Rhys came back in with a shoeless Rose behind her. They sat down on the edge of the room while Rose restitched the straps onto her shoes, and Alice and I began with the music rising.

  My heart couldn’t keep up with her holding onto me like this, my mind still going over what Rhys had said. Did you ask her?

  What if I just asked her? And how was I supposed to do that? Hey, are you a lesbian?

  I could try asking about her dating history. I could talk about mine. I could just come out. I knew she would be happy for me, but she’d have to figure out from there that I had feelings for her, right?

  The last thing on my mind as we were dancing was the dance. Thank god Alice was so good at it, she was able to lead me through it with no problems.

  Rhys was sharp. Maybe she was right. It wasn’t fair to Alice either to assume things about her. The only way to know for sure was to ask her.

  No matter how much that might have sent my emotions racing.

  I found my gaze traveling the room, and when I met Rhys’s eyes, she shot me a smirk and a wink.

  That little devil.

  Chapter 9

  Alice

  Lisette was sitting on the edge of the bed when I walked into the room. The way she looked worked up, her cheeks flushed and an intense expression on her face, made me stop in the doorway.

  “Oh, hi,” she said, her voice higher than usual. “I… don’t mind me. I’m just thinking.”

  I closed the door, and I sat down on the floor, wrapping myself up in the blankets. “Thinking about what? Everything okay?”

  “I just…” She took a deep breath and hung her head. “I was wondering…”

  “Yeah?” I was starting to get nerves too. I’d never seen her like this before.

  “I was just… wondering…” She cleared her throat, looked away. “I was wondering how things were between you and Henry.”

  That took all the wind out of my sails. I curled up on the floor. “Nothing really. Uh… don’t really expect things to go anywhere with him, he’s just… nice, you know?”

  “He’s just your type?”

  I couldn’t really tell her how far he was from being my type. “I don’t know.”

  She paused. “What is your type?”

  I mumbled something even I didn’t know what before I said, “Someone… tall… elegant, confident…”

  I looked up at her, and when I saw the green of her eyes looking down into mine, the next word slipped from my mouth unbidden.

  “Beautiful,” I whispered. She flinched, and I felt my face get hot. “You know? Just… beautiful people.”

  “Yeah,” she mumbled. “I mean, I like… beautiful people too.”

  I had to wonder how beautiful she thought I was. “What’s your type, then?” I curled up again.

  “Someone who makes me want to take a risk,” she whispered.

  It took me a long time to find anything to say. “That’s beautiful,” I finally managed.

  “I don’t know how beautiful I am,” she laughed weakly.

  “Don’t say that.” I didn’t even look up at her. “You’re incredibly gorgeous. Inside and out.”

  She didn’t say anything, leaving me there to lie on the floor wondering if I’d said too much, if I’d crossed the line I’d spent this whole trip toeing. It was far enough along I was starting to think she was asleep when she finally spoke.

  “I’m not very sleepy,” she said. “Are you?”

  “I-I don’t know,” I blurted. Truth was I didn’t think I’d get any sleep at this rate, but it wasn’t because of not being sleepy.

  “I want to make a really weird suggestion, but I don’t normally… break the status quo, and I’m afraid to bring it up because I’m not suited to handle rejection.”

  I sat up, looked over at her, and she avoided my gaze. “You can say it to me,” I said. “We’re… close.”

  We’re close. Somehow just that one little thing felt monumental to me, more than last time.

  Lisette took a deep breath, put her hands on her knees, and looked me in the eye. “Let’s go ice skating.”

  I blinked. “Right—right now?”

  “Right now.”

  “With—”

  “Just the two of us.”

  My heart jumped in my chest. I came up with a million reasons to say no. I didn’t need to get more attracted to her. I didn’t need to be in a world with just the two of us, twirling together on the ice under the light of uncountable stars. I knew I’d end up hurting myself and hurting her. There was every reason to say no.

  “I’d love to,” I said, hearing my voice like it was coming from somewhere else. “Let’s go.”

  ∞∞∞

  It turned out Lisette’s car was at the manor, and we slipped out just shy of midnight to climb in. I looked around in wonder, just taking in every little detail—where the fabric on the seats was worn, the little bits of debris in the corners under the floor mats, the tangle of cables sticking out of the center console. Taking in every little part of Lisette’s world I could get my eyes on.

  “The seat warmer goes pretty hot on that side. I know you don’t like the cold.”

  I turned it all the way up. “I’m happy you remember.”

  She kept her eyes out the windshield as she pulled out along the driveway, where moonlight shimmered on the fallen snow. “You’re an important person. Of course I’ll remember.”

  I blinked. “An important…”

  “Well, tell me more about you,” she said. “We have the night all to ourselves. And I told you about my production today.”

  I looked down. “Uh… um. I don’t have anything interesting like you. Computer science is pretty boring from the outside in.”

  “But you want to do artificial intelligence.” She offered me a sweet smile, and I didn’t know how to resist anymore.
“Is there a story there? Or even if there’s not, I just want to hear everything. I want to know about you.”

  I felt my breath quicken. She was getting right to me. I wondered, for the first time, if maybe…

  What if I was the person she liked?

  It was a crazy, stupid thought, but it didn’t seem completely impossible. So, with my heart hammering so hard I could barely steady my own breath, I said, “Well… all right. Computer science. I actually started my first year as an English major, which is where the lie came from.”

  The story of how I ended up in a close relationship with a hardcore programmer who also liked plays in one of my classes, and how she got me into computer science in the end, took up the length of the trip. Lisette was a good listener, too. She nodded along, and she didn’t say much, but I got the feeling she was hanging onto every word.

  I felt cared for. And after people continually turning away the more they saw of me, it made my heart throb.

  We pulled up off the road and parked near the lake, frozen over with thick, cloudy ice. Lisette stepped out of the car first, and it was really just me wanting to sit on the warm seat, not that I was waiting for her to open my door, but when she opened my door for me I felt my stomach flutter.

  I hadn’t had a girl actually open the car door for me since my first date. I didn’t think people still did that. Of course… we weren’t on a date. I was pretty sure.

  “Th-thanks,” I said, climbing out. When I stumbled on the thick snowbank, she caught me by the arm and pulled me in close, and she kept holding onto my arm.

  “Be careful,” she laughed softly into my hair. “If you don’t like the cold, you really won’t like falling into the snow.”

  I stuck close to her. “Yeah, not planning on it. Thank you. Good to see some gentlemen still have chivalry.”

  I didn’t know why I made jokes that just made me more nervous. She laughed quietly again.

  “I’m no gentleman,” she said. “I’m barely even a lady. But let’s go get on the ice.”

  She led me over to the lake, set her bag down on the ground and pulled out her ice skates. Thankfully we’d managed to grab a pair that fit me—I was pretty sure they were actually Aunt Gina’s, but apparently we had the same size feet—and she handed me those. I had to squat to change my shoes, because unlike some people, I was not about to sit in the snow.