The Phoenix of Altria

by David M Zahn

  I moved considerably further down from where the others initially landed and was now near the base of one of the watchtowers. I wasn't too worried about the watchtower, being below it, but I didn't like the look of all of the goblins gathered around one of the campfires about forty yards in front of me. None of them were currently looking at me, but all they had to do was turn, and they would see me when I attempted to climb out.

  Deciding, I climbed the rest of the way out of the ditch knowing if I waited I might lose my opportunity. Once I was up, I army crawled towards one of the tents to my right and sat down, breathing out once I was behind it. After a minute with no alarms raised, I felt I was in the clear.

  A notification suddenly alerted me to a message in my party chat.

  Eldertits: Ryland, where the fuck are you?

  Ryland: I found a way to climb out by one of the watchtowers. They haven't noticed me. Where are you lot?

  Eldertits: We had to move away from the spot we entered and are currently in one of the tents about 15 yards from the leader's tent.

  Ryland: Cool. I'm probably about 40 yards away, but I can circle around using the tents to get pretty close. I'll meet you there.

  Eldertits: Just be careful.

  I slowly circled around, using the tents as cover. Walking while crouching wasn't comfortable, but it seemed like the best way to avoid being spotted, so I suffered through it. As I went, I peeked around the sides of the tents to keep my bearings until I figured I was as close as I was going to get.

  Summoning one of my daggers, I cut a small slit in the tent in front of me, peering inside. Only some rough sleeping arrangements and no goblins. Having confirmed that it would be safe to enter, I cut a hole large enough for me and crawled inside.

  Moving across the tent to the side closest to the leader's tent, I cut another small hole and looked through. There were goblins around, but none of them were between this tent and the large one about five yards away.

  Praying to the gods of stealth and luck, if Alderoth even had such gods, I opened the hole up and slid out. Once I hit the ground, I crawled over to the other tent and cut a hole near the bottom.

  Peeking inside, I could immediately tell there were more things in this tent, but I didn't notice the goblin leader. That actually made sense considering it was the middle of the day. Why would he want to spend his time in a tent when the weather was pretty nice outside?

  I slit the hole open just wide enough for me to crawl inside and stood up. To my left was where the tent was normally supposed to be opened and to my right were some blankets that looked a lot more comfortable than what I had seen in the other tent. Next to this was a large wooden chest which looked like it might just be full of some goodies.

  Across the tent from me, an armor rack stood with a couple of weapons and a set of heavy armor. All of which would be useless to me.

  Instead, I focused my attention on the chest. I figured as long as I was waiting for the others I might as well see if this guy had any good loot. There wasn't a lock on the chest and as soon as I lifted the latch, it opened with ease.

  Inside the chest had around two hundred gold pieces, which I deposited into my inventory, and a cloak which upon further inspection revealed the following characteristics:

  The Cloak of Ezz

  "This Cloak was given to the goblin Ezz by his mother before she died. It denotes him as the leader of the Keart Clan."

  Defense: 6

  Durability 120/120

  Weight: 0.2 lbs

  Intimidate: +6

  Well, I wasn't about to leave such a nice bonus to a skill lying in a chest. This goblin should really have taken better care of his belongings if he didn't want someone slipping in and stealing them.

  Behind me, I heard the tent flap open, and I said, "Hey guys, check out the skill boost on this thing."

  I turned and held up the cloak for the rest of my party to get a good look at it, and panic immediately setting in, noticed it wasn't Eldertits and the rest of the group, but a large goblin that walked up behind me. Yelping, I attempted to move, but I was too slow as he brought down a large mace across my face.

  My headache, which had already been bad, got exponentially worse as I fell on the ground and dropped the cloak. The goblin began muttering something I couldn't understand and then yelled loudly in its tongue out the semi-open flap.

  Moments later, several other armed goblins came in the tent and found me sprawled out on the ground nursing a bleeding head. A couple of them dragged me to my feet, and barely aware of what was happening around me, I was pulled out of the tent, marched across the camp, and tied to a pole that was stuck into the ground.

  The big goblin marched up to me wearing the cloak of Ezz and began barking furiously at me in his goblin language. I stared groggily at him as spittle flew from his mouth and landed on my face.

  He jabbed one of his fingers with their sharp fingernails into my chest repeatedly demanding something, but the only response he got from me was the small amount of blood that trickled out.

  I thought I was doing so well, but I had blown this operation completely by not paying attention, and now these goblins would be aware that their camp had been infiltrated by outsiders. They'd probably even kill me for my trouble. That wasn't going to be fun.

  After he jabbed me again, I snapped. "I can't understand a god damned word you are saying."

  He leered at me with his scared face and mouth with its half-missing, half-rotted teeth. His breath made me nauseous just from the smell, and I thought about adding that he should try brushing his teeth every once in a while. Finally, he barked something to the goblins around him who began scampering and saying something in their wild tongue until an extremely short goblin, wearing what I can only describe as battle robes, walked forward.

  This goblin had a nose that took up almost its entire face and a wooden staff that curled at the end. There was no doubt in my mind that he was a caster class, and I wondered what sort of spell this goblin was going to cast on me.

  After a moment of listening to Ezz, or at least the goblin I presumed to be Ezz, the caster looked at me and said, "you will explain how you got into the center of our camp undetected and whether or not you are alone."

  "And if I don't feel like explaining these things?" I asked, letting my imagination answer the question for him.

  "I don't think you'll like going that route," the goblin said calmly. "We have our ways of making people talk."

  "The problem is, Ezz there," I said nodding my head slightly at the one in charge, "hit me so hard on the head I can't remember anything. Do you have anything to help with a headache?"

  I knew I was being cheeky and that it was only likely to provoke the goblin chief and this battlemage, but I was vying for time, hoping Tits and company were working on a way to get me out of this mess.

  "Tell me which you would prefer?" the goblin asked. "Would you like to be slowly cut until you bleed out, or would you like to be roasted slowly and watch yourself burn? I promise you, either way, you'll tell us everything before the end."

  "Give me the knives," I said much more boldly than I was feeling. "I'm already bleeding out here if you haven't noticed."

  The little goblin sighed and said, "Very well. Roasted alive it is. I do so enjoy the smell of cooked human."

  He said something in goblin to Ezz and the bigger goblin barked something to the other goblins who began hauling over wood and piling it up beneath me. At the moment, I felt like a witch that was about to be burned at the stake, and really, this wasn't too far from the truth.

  The battlemage bent down and lit the fire beneath me and smiled wickedly at me as he stood up.

  "In a minute, you're going feel it as your feet begin burning and your flesh melts to your bone," he said, staring at me in the eyes. "We'll be able to watch as your health gauge begins depleting and you begin to beg us for mercy."

  "That might be true under normal circumstances," I said, defiantly ignoring the throbbing
pain in my head, "but there's just one issue with your plan."

  "Oh, and what would that be?" the goblin asked amused as I felt the fire on my feet and saw my HP begin to fall ever so slowly.

  "I am the Phoenix of Altria," I said, igniting the ropes and post around me, "and all flame is mine."

  Chapter Eight: The Phoenix of Altria Rises

  Surging forward, I summoned my Fist of the Phoenix Flame and punched the unsuspecting battlemage right in the stomach, sending him flying. An instant later, I shot a couple of fireballs at the goblins around me.

  One of them caught on fire as the secondary burn effect ignited, and he scampered into the crowd causing pandemonium and panic.

  At the same moment, I heard Eldertits in common shout, "Fuck it. For titties and glory."

  My remaining party members came in from behind and began decimating the backline. Ezz attempted to regain control of his troops, but it was no use as many of them were well beyond the point of reason.

  Moving forward, I tripped over a burning log and fell down into the fire causing a whole new surge of pain as flames licked at my body around me, and I'm pretty sure my hair and clothes ignited. My bonuses against burn damage were probably keeping me alive but only just as my HP was dropping rapidly.

  Forcing myself back to my feet, I let out a guttural roar, more in agony than in rage, and grasped the shoulder of Ezz with my burning hand.

  "You've brought this upon yourself," I said, breathing heavily.

  The goblin stared back at me in horror, the fear evident in his eyes as he watched the fire extinguish on my arm and upper chest, and smoke begin to rise up off of me. He held his hands up defensively in front of him and squealed something in his language that I couldn't understand.

  My only response was to punch him square in the face with my Fist of the Phoenix Flame. He fell over and slid backward a few feet. With that done, I began casting cure on myself as I limped towards him. I really needed to heal myself before one of these goblins took a shot at me and realized a small breeze would be enough to take me out.

  I finalized the spell and breathed out a small sigh of relief as I stepped up to the chieftain and put my boot to his throat. He lay there in a daze looking like how I had after he smacked me with his mace. His face was bleeding and even more of his teeth were missing than before, but more than anything, he looked like a man who had just seen the devil.

  "Surrender and I will show you and your people mercy," I said, pressing the boot in a little deeper.

  Ezz looked up at me and squealed something incomprehensible in his language. Oh right, this big prick can't understand a word that I'm saying. Where is that little translator fuck?

  "Tits, Elaria, Rondo," I yelled, looking for my companions and finding them at the heart of the chaos. "I need that little battlemage to translate. Please find him and bring him here."

  Tits was in full on rage mode, and it was highly unlikely she heard a word I said. Her eyes were glowing red, and the axe she wielded was a storm unto itself. Goblins flew in all directions around her as she swatted them away as if they were nothing more than insects. A few were bravely, or foolishly, trying to stand their ground against her with their meager weapons, but it was like trying to stand against a hurricane.

  Elaria, Rondo, and Minty were all grouped together close by, fighting with daggers, or in Minty's case, claws. The goblins were holding better here but not by much. Rondo acknowledged my call for assistance and then whispered something to Elaria that I couldn't hear.

  A moment later, the three of them charged forward towards where the battlemage sat on the ground, apparently all too happy to be out of the fighting. Once he saw this, he squealed and began to get up but was met by the angriest looking otter I had ever seen.

  Minty quickly wormed his way under the crowd of goblins and raked his tiny claws across the gigantic nose of the goblin battlemage. The goblin collapsed backward in surprise, and the little creature latched onto its neck like a vampire.

  Watching this little river otter terrorize the poor battlemage would have been more comical if I wasn't so worried that it would actually end up killing the mage. I already did substantial damage with my punch, and now Minty might end up bleeding the guy out, and I needed him to translate to the goblin underneath me first.

  Ezz chose this moment to try and move underneath me. I glared down at him, pressed my boot in harder, summoned a fireball in my hand, and deliberately shook my head slowly at him. I figured he got the message after his eyes went wide, and I felt him swallow. He stopped moving and held his palms open towards me.

  After this, I watched Rondo and Elaria quickly carve a path through the few goblins left between them and the battlemage. When they reached him, Minty finally relented and got off, letting Elaria grab him by the front of the robes and pull him to his feet. She marched him over to me with Rondo and Minty in tow.

  When they got close, I said, "Tell Ezz to surrender, and I will show you mercy."

  The battlemage gloured at me and then spoke rapidly in goblin to his leader beneath me. After a moment, Ezz croaked out a response.

  "He says he surrenders," the mage translated to me.

  "I'm going to let him up, tell him to order all of his men to stand down," I said, easing the tension on his throat. "If either of you tries anything, we'll kill you without hesitation."

  Lifting my boot off of him, I allowed Ezz to get to his feet while the battlemage translated what I said. A moment after standing, the chieftain shouted something, and I was afraid he ordered an all-out attack. My fears were alleviated when the remaining goblins pulled back and vanished their weapons.

  Seconds later, a goblin went flying from the direction of our barbarian and vanished before it hit anyone.

  "Please call off your berserker," the battlemage pleaded with me. "We have surrendered and stood down like your requested."

  "Tits," I yelled over at the crazed woman. "Stand down, they have surrendered."

  She stared menacingly back at me as if she didn't recognize me. For a moment, I was afraid she was going to charge, but then the red glow faded from her eyes and glazed over. Seconds later, they focused, returning to their normal green.

  She smiled over at the group and said, "That was fun. Way better than Elaria's way."

  Elaria frowned at the other woman but didn't say anything as I surveyed the camp. It was a disaster, and the fact that this goblin camp was in pretty poor shape before the battle started, that was saying something.

  Quickly, I decided to cast cure on Ezz, Iasz, and myself so none of us had to do this while suffering from the battle. The rest of my party looked to be in pretty good shape, so I didn't bother healing them.

  "We need to talk," I said, looking at Ezz, allowing the battlemage to translate my words before continuing. "My clan, the Immoral Exiles, is investigating the disappearance of people in Roselake, and the mayor of that village is of the opinion that your goblins have something to do with his missing people."

  Frowning, the mage translated what I said, and Ezz responded through him with, "We have done no such thing. In fact, we are only in this area because some of our people have been abducted, and we have reason to believe they were taken to the human village of Roselake."

  "Some of your people were abducted?" I asked surprised. "And you've been unable to contact them?"

  Our little translator once again spoke for me to Ezz and translated his response. "Yes, we've been unable to contact them, and we will not leave them to suffer at the whims of humans."

  "Why do you believe they were taken to Roselake?" I asked.

  This mystery grew more interesting by the second. Why would someone, or some group, be taking both humans and goblins, and how were they cutting off all communication?

  "Some of our people saw hooded figures taking one of our own out of the caves we call home and tracked them to the general area around Roselake," Ezz said through our translator.

  "Where are these caves you call home?" I aske
d. "And did your people see where in the Roselake area your goblins were taken too?"

  Once again, Ezz spoke through our translator saying, "Our home is about a solid day's march to the west of here, and unfortunately, our people lost them a little before they reached the northern end of the lake."

  That would explain why they are camped not too far from the northern end of Roselake.

  After a moment of thinking, I said, "Tell you what, I'm willing to offer you an alliance in this quest to find both vanished humans and your goblins, but I'm going to need the bulk of your people to return home. You are making the town nervous and fearful of an attack."

  After the mage translated my offer to Ezz, the goblin chieftain was silent and contemplative. I needed to be prepared for a rejection of this offer, but I wasn't quite sure what I would do. I certainly wasn't the type to kill people in cold blood. Maybe if I threatened them with repeated attacks, I could get them to leave?

  It never came to that because after what felt like forever, Ezz spoke and the mage translated.

  "Phoenix of Altria, I accept your offer of an alliance on behalf of the Keart Goblins," the translator said formally on behalf of Ezz. "We will do as you wish and return home; however, I will leave Iasz here with you, as well as one of my warriors to aid in the search."

  Iasz frowned as he spoke the last sentence. I guessed the little goblin was less than pleased with the prospect of following my group back to Roselake.

  As the leader of the Immoral Exiles, you have formed an alliance between your clan and the Keart goblins. This alliance will allow for either side to request aid from the other. To maintain the alliance, your clan will need to keep a positive reputation with the Keart goblins.

  Immoral Exiles current reputation level with the Keart goblins: Neutral.