Fallen Angel (The London Ruthless Series Book 2)

by Sadie Kincaid

  She nodded. ‘Yes, I will. Thanks.’

  ‘Want me to come with you?’ I offered, suddenly feeling guilty that she might be genuinely worried and I was being little help.

  ‘No, it’s fine. I’m sure our little jelly-bean is just asleep, like you said.’

  I nodded and stood up. ‘If there’s nothing else?’

  She stood up too. ‘You can stay if you like?’

  ‘What?’ I frowned at her. Was she being serious?

  Her cheeks flushed pink. ‘I mean on the sofa. You look tired, that’s all.’

  I was more than tired. I was fucking exhausted. I’d barely slept a wink since she’d walked back into my life and blown my world apart. ‘I’m fine. But I need to get home,’ I said instead.

  She looked like she was about to cry again. ‘I’m sorry, you know?’ she sniffed. ‘If I’ve messed things up for you. But, I didn’t plan this,’ she started sobbing then and she ran her hands over her stomach.

  For fuck’s sake! I hated to see women crying – especially because of me. If this baby was mine, then I was as much responsible for it as she was. She hadn’t forced me to have sex with her – that had been my own choice – a stupid one, but it was still mine. It wasn’t her fault that my life was falling apart. It was my own.

  I felt a wave of guilt for being so short with her. I crossed the room and put my arms around her and she buried her head against my chest.

  ‘Everything will be okay,’ I said as I stroked her hair.

  She looked up at me, tears streaming down her face. ‘Everything feels better when you’re here, Gabriel.’

  Fuck!

  I realised that was my cue to leave. I let my arms drop to my sides. ‘Try and get some sleep. It’s not good for you or the baby to be so upset. I’ll give you a call tomorrow to see how you are.’

  ‘Okay,’ she said as wiped her tears with the sleeve of her pyjamas.

  I looked at her and couldn’t tell whether this was all an act or she was genuinely upset. Perhaps even a bit of both? But one thing I did know was that I didn’t want her getting any ideas about what the two of us were to each other. I said my goodbyes and left, thankful to be out of there.

  Chapter 8

  Samantha

  I placed the phone back in its cradle and frowned. That was the fourth time this week the elusive Mr Lewis had called to speak to me before being mysteriously cut off. This time he’d given my receptionist his first name too, Edward.

  It was so strange.

  Being cut off once was an accident, twice a coincidence, but four times – well, that was just weird. I wracked my brain trying to think of an Edward Lewis that I might know to offer some clue as to who he was, but the only Edward Lewis I’d ever heard of was Richard Gere’s character in Pretty Woman – and it obviously wasn’t him.

  Whoever he was, he never left any details, other than his name. Beth had tried to get a contact number or any further information from him but all he would say was his name and that I would know him when we spoke.

  It was baffling and it was starting to bother me.

  My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knocking at my open office door. I looked up to see Gabriel standing in the doorway. He was, as usual, wearing one of his finely tailored suits and looking good enough to dipped in chocolate and licked clean. He was carrying a large package under his arm.

  I hadn’t seen him since I’d told him that we were over six days earlier. He had phoned me every day, to make sure that me and the baby were okay. And I supposed that I couldn’t deny him the opportunity to do that – this child was as much his as it was mine.

  ‘You okay?’ he asked with a frown as he stepped inside the room. He must have sensed the tension in me, or perhaps my concern was written all over my face.

  I forced a smile. It made me feel less anxious just having him around. His presence filled the room and I felt it in every part of my body. ‘Yeah, work is just busy, that’s all.’

  He crossed the room and stood in front of my desk. I looked up at him. ‘What’s that?’ I indicated the strange shaped package he still had tucked under his arm.

  ‘This,’ he said as he placed it on the desk in front of me, ‘is a pregnancy pillow. I read that they can help pregnant women find more comfortable positions to sleep in. I know how much you like something to hold onto when you sleep.’

  ‘Am I supposed to snuggle up to that and pretend it’s you?’ I asked.

  ‘If it helps?’ he said as he walked around to my side of the desk and perched himself on the edge, so his thighs were only inches from my forearm. ‘Would it?’ he said in that low growl of his that seemed to rumble through my bones, followed by a slow, sexy smile that I felt deep inside my core.

  It was the killer combination and I squeezed my thighs together under my desk to quell the throbbing sensation that was building. Why did my body have such a visceral reaction to him? When he was around all I could think about was how good it would feel to have his hands on me.

  Any contact between us was always fraught with sexual tension, and now I had to make smart-ass comments that only made the situation worse.

  I swallowed and looked up at him. ‘The pillow will certainly help me get more comfortable, so thank you,’ I stammered.

  ‘You’re welcome. Are you sure you’re okay?’ he said as he reached out and lightly dusted my cheek with the back of his hand.

  I wanted to tell him that no, I wasn’t okay at all. Not even a little bit. I missed him like crazy. I was still so angry with him for what he’d done, but that didn’t make me love him any less. I wanted to tell him that these weird phone calls were making me paranoid and anxious. I wanted him to wrap me in those huge arms of his and tell me everything would be okay.

  But I couldn’t. I still couldn’t get past what he’d done, and giving him such mixed signals was unfair to him.

  ‘Yes. I’m fine. Promise,’ I lied instead.

  He nodded but I got the sense he didn’t believe me. ‘Do you need anything else?’ he asked softly.

  Yes! I need you to bend me over this desk and fuck me senseless.

  ‘No. I’m good. I appreciate the pillow though. Did you buy Jennifer one too?’

  He shoved his hands in his trouser pockets then licked his lower lip as he looked away from me. ‘I suppose I deserved that,’ he said with a sigh as he stood up.

  Then he walked out of my office and didn’t even say goodbye.

  I placed my hands on the v-shaped pillow and took a deep breath. Had he deserved that? Or was I being a bitch? He’d hurt me so much that I couldn’t tell any more. I wished that I could get past this, but it felt like an impossible task.

  Chapter 9

  Samantha

  I took a deep breath as I walked up the driveway to Gabriel’s house and knocked on the front door. I still had a key but it didn’t feel right to use it. I didn’t live here any more.

  I’d been putting off returning to collect the rest of my stuff for over a week now and I was fast running out of clothes. Not only that, I missed being surrounded by my own things.

  I’d moved into my old childhood bedroom back at my Dad’s house, and I wanted to make it feel like it belonged to Samantha, the woman rather than the stroppy teenager who had last occupied it.

  I waited on the doorstep for what felt like an eternity until Gabriel opened the door. He’d phoned me earlier that morning and I’d taken the opportunity to arrange to call round, so, of course I knew he’d be there and he was expecting me, but it didn’t make it any less awkward as we stood there staring at each other, wondering what was the right thing to say.

  ‘Come in,’ he finally said as he opened the door wider.

  I stepped inside the hallway and swallowed the lump in my throat. I tried not to think too much about how, if only for a short time, this place had been my home - and it had been the happiest time of my life.

  Now, it never would be again and that realisation hit me like a punch to the stomach.

&nbs
p; I placed my hand on the bannister. ‘Is it okay if I go upstairs and get my things?’ I asked, the tremor in my voice clearly audible.

  Gabriel glared at me for a few seconds, as though he was considering whether to approve my request.

  ‘Of course,’ he replied eventually with a sigh. ‘Do you need me to do anything?’

  I shook my head, afraid to speak in case I stayed crying. Then I walked up the stairs leaving him standing alone in the hallway.

  Walking into the bedroom I had shared with him was even harder that stepping into the house a few moments earlier. Every memory of being in this room came flooding back to me in an overwhelming rush and I had to sit on the bed as my legs trembled beneath me.

  I looked around the room and saw the pieces of myself scattered around. My perfume; my shoes – discarded near the wardrobe as though I’d simply taken them off after a long day of work and would be putting them back on the next day; the half empty packet of cotton wool pads I used to take off my make up each night still sitting on the dresser. It was as though the room was waiting for me to come back - and I realised that he was waiting for me to come back too.

  I felt the sadness settling over me like a heavy shroud as I realised that Gabriel was hurting just as much as I was. He was still hoping that we’d work through this somehow and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Part of me was glad that he hadn’t given up on us, but the other part of me wondered if he was only prolonging the heartbreak for us both.

  I was a complete mess. I didn’t know what I wanted because it changed from day to day and moment to moment.

  I wanted space, but I also wanted to be close to him. I wanted to make things easier for both of us but I didn't know how. The one thing I did know was that nothing had changed in the last week. If he’d been hoping that I’d calm down and reconsider my decision, then he was sadly mistaken.

  I wished that I was able to reconsider, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to share him with her. I couldn’t stand to watch him leave me to go to her. And I knew that he’d have to, because she needed him as much as I did. Maybe more? She had no one, and I had my father, and Nick, and besides that, I was more than used to taking care of myself.

  I stood up and opened the wardrobe and took the large suitcase from the bottom. Then I started removing some of my clothes, placing them carefully in the case.

  I was zipping up the suitcase having filled it with as much as it would hold when I heard Gabriel walking up the stairs and along the hallway. He leaned against the doorframe, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His green eyes were full of fire as he looked at me like he wanted to throw me down on the bed and tear my clothes off.

  For a few seconds I wondered if he would - and whether I’d be able to resist him if he did. I looked away from him and swallowed as my insides turned to jelly. Damn the effect this man had on me!

  ‘I think I’ve got everything I need,’ I said quietly. ‘I’ve left a few bits though. I couldn’t fit it all in.’

  ‘That’s okay,’ he said as he crossed the room. He stood in front of me. I was wearing flats and he towered over me. He leaned forward and I felt the breath catch in my throat. But he only leaned down and picked up my heavy suitcase.

  Then he walked out of the door, carrying it downstairs and out to my father who was waiting outside in his car. I took a deep breath and mentally checked myself. I’d known this was going to be hard. A few more minutes and it would all be over and I’d be in the safety of my dad’s car.

  I was walking down the stairs by the time Gabriel came back into the house. He closed the front door behind him and the sound of the latch clicking as he stood there glaring at me brought an unwanted memory to the surface.

  A memory of a time when my ex-husband, Jackson had refused to let me leave the house because I’d said something he’d taken offence to. I couldn’t even remember what I’d said. It was probably nothing at all knowing him, but I remembered all too well the feeling of terror. I swallowed it down.

  Gabriel wasn’t Jackson, and my dad was right outside in his car.

  I was safe.

  Still, Gabriel must have seen the tension in me. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked, his eyes so full of concern that it almost broke me.

  ‘Yes. I’m fine. I’ll get going and leave you in peace.’ I said. It was just a turn of phrase, and I hadn’t thought about the actual words.

  I saw the pain flash across his face. ‘There is no peace for me when you’re not here,’ he replied. Then he walked to the foot of the stairs, blocking my path to the bottom.

  ‘I need to go,’ I said to him, afraid that if I didn’t get out of there soon, he might convince me to stay.

  ‘And you will, but I need you to hear this first. And I don’t mean just listen to the words, Sam. I need you to hear what I’m actually saying.’

  I blinked at him. ‘Okay.’

  ‘I’m sorry that I had sex with Jennifer. If I could change it, I would.’

  I opened my mouth to speak, but he glared at me so I didn’t. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let him finish what he had to say. He stared into my eyes, his green eyes almost black as they burned into my soul.

  ‘I know you think that being apart is the best thing for us, but I know that it’s not. And I’m going to do everything in my power to prove that to you too. So, although I’m going to let you walk out of that door, don’t mistake that for my compliance. This thing between you and me is far from over. I love you, Sam. You are everything to me, and I refuse to spend the rest of my life without you by my side. But I know that I’ve let you down, and so I’m letting you go - for now. But know that you are mine and you always will be. And I’ll be right here waiting for you as soon as you realise that too.’

  He stepped out of my way then, but I stood rooted to the spot. What was I supposed to say to that? I felt the power of his words deep in my core.

  He was claiming me.

  I felt my legs tremble as I looked at him. He radiated power – fierce and strong and protective. He was everything I had sworn I didn’t want after my nightmare of a marriage had ended. But he was everything I needed. I closed my eyes and willed my heart to stop racing.

  This was for the best.

  It had to be done.

  ‘Bye, Gabriel,’ I said softly.

  ‘Bye, Sam,’ he replied as I walked to the door and opened it. I walked out without looking back, afraid of what I might see on his face if I did.

  Chapter 10

  Gabriel

  It had been two weeks since Samantha had walked out on me and I felt like I was slowly losing my mind. I’d seen her three times and spoken to her almost every day and it wasn’t nearly enough. I missed her so much that my heart physically ached.

  At least Sebastian and I had managed to sort our differences out. I knew that he was angry and disappointed in me, but he also knew that I loved his daughter more than anything else in the world, and there was no greater punishment he could dish out to me than the one I was already suffering. He also knew that nobody hated what I’d done more than I did.

  We’d been in meetings about some potential takeovers of smaller firms all day, and it had been a good distraction. But, whereas his working day would soon be over, mine would last at least another ten hours. Working sixteen to eighteen hour days was the only way to numb myself to the pain of losing her.

  Sebastian had some signed paperwork at his house for me to drop at our solicitors and I decided I had nothing better to do than go home with him and pick it up.

  I walked up the steps to his house with him and waited while he opened the door. I pushed my hands into my trousers pockets and licked my lips.

  ‘Don’t worry. She’ll be in work,’ he said as he turned to me.

  ‘I know,’ I nodded. He’d obviously mistaken my edginess for nervousness that she would be there, when in fact the opposite was true. I was on edge because I wanted her to be there. I wanted to see her. I wanted to touch her.

  I followed Sebastia
n into the house and we walked into the kitchen.

  ‘Hello, love. What are you doing home from work so early?’ Sebastian said.

  I felt my heart start pounding as I looked past him and saw her sitting there at the kitchen table with her laptop. I felt the tightness in my chest. She looked tired and it made me worried that she wasn’t looking after herself properly. She used work as a distraction too, just like me – but I wasn’t almost five months pregnant.

  ‘I decided to work from home for the afternoon. I was feeling a bit ropey,’ she said as she rubbed her temples.

  ‘Gabriel just called in to pick up some papers from me,’ Sebastian mumbled apologetically.

  ‘Of course,’ she replied softly.

  ‘I’ll just go and get them,’ he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. I gave a small nod of thanks. He was giving me some time alone with her and I was eternally grateful.

  I walked into the room as Sebastian walked out and sat at the table opposite her. ‘You not feeling too good?’ I asked.

  She looked up at me and I was sure I could see the tears in her eyes, but she blinked them away. Still, I felt the weight of the guilt crushing me.

  ‘Just a bit of a headache and some morning sickness. Nothing serious,’ she replied.

  ‘Are you sleeping okay?’

  She shrugged. ‘As well as can be expected, I suppose. I like the pillow though.’

  I looked at her and wanted to pull her into my arms and make everything okay. Her hand rested on the table and I reached out to take it. My fingertips only brushed hers for a second, but she pulled her hand back as though mine was made of fire. So now, she couldn’t even stand to have me touch her.

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Sam!’ I growled. I couldn’t help it. Only a few weeks earlier, she couldn’t keep her hands off me, and she would have happily begged me to touch her.