“Then you did what you had to.”
“No, I could have gone to the panic room. Florrie showed me earlier that day. I was being selfish and you guys paid the price.”
I stared at Chance lying on the floor as we landed on the roof of the hospital. As they took him out, I felt numb. I had my girl back and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, but I also couldn’t have Chance the way I wanted anymore. I was a traitor and when he found out, he would never forgive me.
✯✯✯✯✯
Payton was wrapped around me like a monkey, sleeping on my shoulder. She had been through so much and now we didn’t even have a home to go to. I sat down in the waiting room where the other members were waiting. When Sebastian saw me, he came over and sat down with me.
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah, they said she wasn’t raped.”
He blew out a breath, running his hand over his face. “That’s great news.”
There was something in his tone that had me on edge. “What is it?”
He shook his head, “You don’t have to worry about it now.”
“Just tell me.”
He looked at me as he sat back in his seat. I could see the wheels turning in his mind. “We got the other kids also. They’re being checked over and their families are being contacted.”
“That’s good news.”
He nodded. “But why were they taken? If they weren’t used for-”
I held up my hand, not wanting to hear the words.
“I know this is hard to talk about, but we have to consider what else might have happened. Did Payton say anything to you?”
“Not about what happened.”
“When she wakes up, we need to talk to her right away. I’ll have my team start a search online.”
“For what?”
“For her picture.”
I tried to figure out what reason there would be for him to look for her picture online. What could he possibly find from-My eyes widened as it hit me. It wasn’t quite as bad as what we thought, but it was still a violation. “You think they took pictures of her.”
“Or videos. Believe it or not, there’s a market for that out there. If they did take pictures, we’ll make sure they’re removed immediately. But we-”
“Morgan James?”
A man in a suit stood in front of me, his face severe and threatening. “Yes?”
Sebastian stood in front of me, protecting Payton and me. “Who’s asking?”
“Department of Homeland Security. Agent Wilson,” he said as he showed his badge. “I need to speak with you about your daughter’s abduction.”
“Wouldn’t the police handle this?”
“Your daughter was kidnapped and taken out of the United States. We believe there was something going on that could affect the security of the nation. I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with us.”
“But, can’t it wait? We just got back. She hasn’t even had a meal and you already want to take her and grill her?”
“No, it can’t wait.”
Sebastian placed his hand on my back. “I’ll come with you.”
“I’m afraid-”
Sebastian glared at the agent and he shut up right away. To my surprise, he took us down the hall to a conference room that apparently had been set aside just for him. For some reason, I thought we would be brought into a police station or some federal building. We took a seat and I pulled Payton onto my lap and held her close as she blinked the sleep from her eyes. This was the last thing she needed right now. Sebastian sat next to me, leaning toward me in his chair almost protectively.
“What is it you want to know, Agent Wilson?”
Sebastian’s voice was sharp and intense. He wasn’t taking any shit right now.
“Well, we need to know exactly the circumstances in which your daughter was taken, what happened while she was there, and how you came about the information for where she was being held.”
It was so matter of fact, not at all like he was talking about a little girl that had been kidnapped and kept from her family for a year and a half.
“I think most of that can be answered without subjecting Payton to an interrogation,” Sebastian said in a steely voice. “You can contact me and we’ll set up an appointment to go over everything that happened.”
“Mr. Reed,” the agent leaned forward on the table, looking at him with a cockiness that made me want to wipe the smirk off his face. “This is a matter of national security and though you may be in charge of your rogue crew of ex-military thugs, I am the one running this meeting.”
Sebastian grinned at the agent, but his look was anything but friendly. “May I remind you that without my team of ex-military thugs, you wouldn’t have gotten back twenty kids that were kidnapped and held on an island. I’ll also remind you that one of my men was taken and could have escaped, but refused to, dealing with almost a year of torture, so that he could put a plan in place to rescue them. So, before you sit in your overpriced suit and look down on my team, why don’t you tell me what you sacrificed to get those children back.”
Agent Wilson was bright red by the end of Sebastian’s reprimand. I couldn’t help but feel admiration and a little bit of love for this man. Agent Wilson smiled tightly at Sebastian and then turned his attention to Payton.
“Let’s get started. Payton, I need you to tell me exactly what happened while you were gone.”
I held Payton tightly, wondering why the hell he would talk to Payton like she was an adult when she was only five. I kissed her on the cheek and looked at her face to see her reaction. She looked distressed to say the least.
“Maybe this isn’t a good time. We just got back and things are-”
“Ms. James, I don’t think you understand. If you refuse to talk to me, I will take you and your daughter into custody and-”
Payton threw her arms around my neck and started crying hysterically. “Don’t let him take me, Mommy!” She snuggled into my chest, whimpering as she gripped onto me like I was her last lifeline.
“Baby, no one’s going to take you.” I glared at the agent. “You will not threaten me or my daughter ever again. She’s just a child and she’s been away from her home for a year and half. If you want to talk to her, find someone else who has some compassion and knows how to speak to children.”
“This is not up to you,” Agent Wilson thundered as he stood angrily.
Sebastian stood suddenly, his chair flying backwards. “That’s enough.” His voice was so cutting that I found myself shrinking back just a little. He pulled out his card and slid it across the table to Agent Wilson. “You can contact me when you have someone better suited to talk to Payton available.”
Payton was still crying in my arms when I carried her out of the room. As soon as we were outside, her head whipped up and she stared urgently at me. “I want Chance. Mommy, I want Chance!”
“Okay, baby. We’ll see if he’s awake.”
“Now, Mommy. I need Chance!”
It broke my heart just a little that she wanted Chance instead of me, but then again, he had saved her life and he probably felt safe to her. He was her protector, and if he was what she needed to feel safe right now, she would get him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Chance
I didn’t want to open my eyes. I knew that Gabe and Jackson were in the room with me. They had been for several hours. I’d been drifting in and out and I could hear their muted conversation. I had been fully awake now for a while, just laying here listening to what they were saying. They were wondering how bad it had been for me and how I would adjust to being back. There were probably other things they talked about that I hadn’t heard because I was sleeping.
Laying here and pretending that none of it had happened would be ideal, but I had to wake up at some point. Part of me wanted to just open my eyes and joke around with the guys, pretend that this was just a bad dream. But the other part of me, the part of me that was still in that hellhole, wanted to
slip back to sleep and never wake up.
None of them would understand, well, Sinner would, but he seemed to handle it just fine when he came back. Maybe I’d talk to him. But in the meantime, I had my two best friends sitting in my room waiting for me to wake up. My chest got tight, just thinking of them asking me questions, looking at me like I was broken. But I could push through, just like I had done in that box. No matter how much of a wreck I was, I would put up a good front and I would find a way back to who I was.
I finally opened my eyes, blinking at the harsh lighting. My eyes felt swollen and my throat was dry. I could feel the dirt still caked on me and I suddenly needed it off. Groaning, I pushed myself up into a sitting position.
“Whoa, Chance, lay back down,” Gabe said, coming to my side and pushing me down.
“Fuck no. Get me up. I need a shower.”
“You’ve been shot. You need to lay the fuck down.”
I turned to Jackson. He would help me out. I narrowed my eyes at him, my lip twitching in anger. “Are you gonna help me up or am I going to do it on my own?” He looked to Gabe for direction. “Hey! Who the fuck is your team leader?”
Jackson shook his head with a sigh. “You’re one cranky bastard when you’ve been shot.”
“Go get me a gun and I’ll shoot you. We can be cranky together.”
He helped me up and I swung my legs over the side of the bed. When I stood, pain shot through my right leg and my knees buckled.
“See?” Gabe smirked. “Shot.”
“Shut the fuck up and get me into the shower.”
“I’m pretty sure the doctor would say that you shouldn’t do this,” Jackson said warily.
“Do you smell that? It’s fucking piss and shit. Would you want to smell that on yourself?” My whole body shook as I looked at Jackson, but he didn’t even flinch at my odor. Maybe it was just me that could smell it because it had been part of my life for the past year.
“Fine, but if you pass out in the shower, I’m just squirting soap on you and leaving.”
I grunted in response and then both of them hauled me up and over to the bathroom. Luckily, there was a stool in the shower and I sat on that while they got the water going. I carefully pulled off the hospital gown and threw it on the ground.
“Hand me a washcloth.”
It was silent and I didn’t have to turn around to know that they were both staring at my back. I hadn’t seen it yet, but I knew it had to look fucking bad. My hands shook as I felt every bite of the whip, the cigarettes being held all over my body, the splinters that dug into me from the wood in the box, the smell of my skin melting from the branding iron, and the worst one that I didn’t want to think of. I closed my eyes tight and clenched my hands into fists. I couldn’t think about that right now. I just needed to get clean.
A washcloth filled with soap was passed around to me and I started scrubbing a year’s worth of dirt off my body. My chest grew tight as I scrubbed at my arm and saw the color of my flesh for the first time in months. Even when I had gone swimming in the water when I escaped, I hadn’t gotten clean. The dirt was too thick. With every spot on my arm I cleaned, my throat constricted until I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Leave,” I said quietly.
“Chance, I think-” Gabe started.
“Leave! Just fucking leave!” I shouted. I didn’t want them in here. I didn’t want them to see me fucking cry like a baby because I had clean skin. I didn’t want them to see me weak. I didn’t survive a fucking year in hell to have my team see me falling apart.
I heard the door click shut and I dropped my head into my hands, just trying to breathe through the memories that assaulted me. Every fucking time I closed my eyes, hell was all I saw. Something touched my shoulder and I struck out behind me as I stood and spun around. My chest was heaving and sweat broke out all over my body. Jackson stood still, holding his hands up.
“We’re not leaving, so sit your ass down and let us help you.”
I grimaced as I did what Jackson said. My side had pulled painfully when I stood and if felt like I tore the stitches from my gunshot wound. I wanted to argue with them, but I knew it wouldn’t make any difference. They were like my brothers and they wouldn’t leave me when I was down. I would do the same if I was in their position.
I picked up the washcloth and continued scrubbing my arms while Jackson started scrubbing my back. Gabe stepped into the shower and knelt in front of me, grabbing my foot to clean. It was painful from the blisters I had from wearing the boots without socks and the cuts that I had gotten over the last year. The floor of the shower was dark, the dirt swirling in dizzying circles. I just stared at it, not able to take my eyes off what felt like a year of pain washing down the drain.
I sat there and stared at the floor for so long that I wasn’t even aware that the guys had pretty much washed my whole body. At some point, they had stood me up and washed my ass and my junk. When I realized that, shame and embarrassment washed over me. It was like I was fucking useless. I clenched my jaw to keep from falling apart, but then Gabe wrapped his hand around my neck and pulled me into him, resting his forehead against mine.
“You will get through this. You’re the fucking strongest guy I know and this isn’t going to break you. Jackson and I may not fully understand, but we’re here for you, whatever you need. No questions asked.”
A mix of relief and shame filled me. I hated that I was so weak and they knew that I wasn’t dealing with it well. On the other hand, I didn’t have to pretend around them. At least, I didn’t have to worry about being at one hundred percent. I couldn’t stand it if everyone started looking at me like I was damaged, even if I felt like I was.
I nodded, not knowing what else to say and cleared my throat. The tension was thick in the air as they waited on me to make the next move. I didn’t want to always feel this low. At some point, I had to try to see the bright side. I was home. I was alive. I had survived something that I never thought I would have to after I left the SEALs. I may not be strong right now, but I would be again.
I shut off the water and took the towel that Jackson offered. I quirked a smile at Gabe. “So, tell me. Did that turn you on?”
Gabe rolled his eyes and made like he was going to punch me, but pulled back at the last second. “Always with the fucking jokes. I’m. Not. Gay. How many fucking times do I have to say it? I’m married. I have kids.”
“None procreated by you,” I barbed. “How do we even know for sure she’s not your beard?”
“Because Isa’s pregnant.” I jerked my head up to see if he was fucking with me, but he was grinning like a fool.
“No shit?”
He shook his head with a laugh. “No shit, and she’s not the only one.”
“I sure as hell hope you don’t mean that you impregnated someone else’s wife.”
The guys helped me out of the bathroom and back to the bed. One of the nurses had been in already and changed the sheets. I couldn’t be fucking happier because I was tired as shit and there was no fucking way I was laying down in those filthy sheets again.
“Lucy’s pregnant,” Jackson grinned. “I never thought I’d see the day that Hunter would convince Lucy to have a baby. Then again, I never pictured him getting ordained either.”
I lowered myself onto the bed, confused as hell. “What are you talking about?”
“Hunter got ordained after his fuck up of a wedding he gave Isa and me. He married Jackson and Raegan.”
“You married her?” Jackson grinned. “Shit, I knew you liked her, but I never thought you would marry her. At least not this fast.”
“It was about six or seven months ago.”
“Don’t let her hear you say that shit,” Gabe said. “You never let your woman know that you don’t know your wedding date.”
“It was a long fucking time ago. What does it matter anyway? I know what year it was.”
Shit. I missed my best friend getting married. I was happy for them, but I couldn�
��t help the pit in my stomach that told me there was a hell of a lot more that I missed.
“Who else is pregnant?” I asked, interrupting the back and forth they had going on.
“Let’s see,” Gabe thought, “Maggie had a boy a few months back. They named him Gunner. Lola had a son and named him Ryder. Cara’s pregnant.”
“Vanessa,” Jackson added. “Oh, and Kate.” The grin on Jackson’s face was almost comical. “She didn’t tell Knight until she was about three months along. Well, technically she didn’t tell him. He bugged her and overheard her telling the girls.”
“I’m guessing he locked her up and tagged her ass.”
I chuckled and rested my head back against the pillow. My eyes were starting to droop and I just wanted to sleep. “So, when are you getting me out of this place?”
“It shouldn’t be too much longer. Cap’s twitching just being out in the open like this.”
My brain wasn’t quite processing what Jackson said. “Out in the open?”
“We’ve been staying at Knight’s safe house.”
Gabe took a seat next to my bed, kicking back like he’d be staying a while. “We weren’t sure who attacked Reed Security, so we’ve been in hiding.”
I was just drifting off when I heard the door swing open and slam against the wall. My eyes flew open just as Payton ran across the room and jumped onto the bed. I caught her just as she was flinging herself onto my chest. It hurt like hell, but I just held her tight since she obviously was scared of something.
Morgan looked angry and Cap was looking at me like this wasn’t a good idea. Since I didn’t know what the hell was going on, I just raised an eyebrow in question to Morgan.
“Someone from the DHS came and started grilling her about what happened. She got scared and didn’t want to talk about it. She kept asking to come see you.”
I looked at her in surprise. I didn’t know Payton that well. I had only known her for the one day. Payton rubbed her face into my chest and I thanked God that I had taken that shower.
“You won’t let them take me, will you?”
Chance Page 15