She looked up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes, pleading me not to let her go. “You just stay right here with your momma and me. We’ll make sure you’re safe.”
She snuggled deeper into my side and Morgan took the chair next to my bed and slipped her hand into mine as everyone else left the room.
“How are you feeling?” she asked hesitantly.
“Tired.”
“Is this okay? I mean, her being with you. I know you’ve been through a lot and-”
“It’s fine,” I said sharply, irritated with myself when Morgan flinched slightly. She didn’t deserve me barking at her. “If this is what she needs, then she gets it.”
She nodded and opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it and just stared at her daughter for a moment. “I don’t know how I could ever thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Payton.”
“You don’t have to thank me. There’s no way I could have left her behind.”
She swiped at some tears that slipped down her face and gave a slight smile. “I don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I’m lost.”
“Me too.”
As I stared at Morgan, I could hardly remember our time together. It felt like so long ago and we only knew each other briefly. But I still remembered how I felt about her back then. I just didn’t know if we could find our way back there. So much had happened over the past year. Maybe she wouldn’t even want to start anything up now that her daughter was back. I turned my head away and wondered if this was yet another thing that I was losing.
✯✯✯✯✯
I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk with Morgan since she came into my room yesterday. Payton had been with us the entire time and I didn’t think it was a good time to talk about anything. The guys were in and out of the room all morning and I was getting fucking irritated. Everyone was telling me to relax and just get better. And everyone was bringing me ice cream for some reason. Was I a chick now? If one more person walked through that door with ice cream, I was going to lose it.
“Good news,” Sinner grinned as he walked into the room. “I got you ice cream.”
“Are fuc- serious?” I glanced over at Payton, hoping she didn’t catch my little slip-up. Morgan stood and took Payton’s hand.
“Why don’t we see if we can find you some ice cream?”
“Can we get some for Chance?”
Morgan looked at me, trying not to laugh. It was fucking obvious that the last thing I wanted was ice cream.
“Sure. I think we should get him some Mint Chocolate Chip.”
I glared at her, but she just smiled at me. After they left, I motioned for Sinner to bring the ice cream over. I feigned not being able to move and he brought it real close. I took the cup and pushed it into his face. Ice cream dripped from his nose and mouth and there were splashes of ice cream all around his eyes.
“Feel better?” he asked as he picked up some napkins and swiped at his face.
“Fucking fantastic.”
“You know, I was just trying to do you a solid.”
“How is ice cream doing me a solid?”
“No one brought me ice cream when I was in the hospital,” he pouted. “And my dick was practically singed off. If there’s ever a time for ice cream, it’s when you’re almost singing soprano.”
“Yeah, see, I just have a few bullet holes. I’d rather have steak.”
“What do you have against ice cream? It’s comfort food.”
“For chicks.”
“Guys like it too.”
“Do you know any guys that sit down and say, ‘I’m feeling blue. I think I need some ice cream to cheer me up.’”
Sinner shrugged, leaning back in his chair and pouting. “I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Ice cream feeds the soul.”
I rolled my eyes at him and plopped my head down on the pillow. “Please tell me that you’re not starting in with this shit.” I pointed toward the hallway. “Go. Find me a man that can bring me a steak.”
“Nobody opens up about their feelings over steak.”
“Is that what this is about? You’re all trying to get me to share at story time?”
“Look, we’ve all been there at one time or another. Sharing helps to set free those demons and unlock your inner-”
“If you don’t shut the hell up, I’m going to unlock my inner asshole and shove this table up your ass.”
“Geez, you know, I just came in here to chat.”
“I don’t want to fucking chat. I don’t even want to think about anything that happened, let alone rehash it all with my team.”
“Do you think I don’t understand?” Sinner was suddenly serious, and he was never serious.
“You just…you didn’t seem like it affected you that much.”
He smirked, “Yeah, because I was fucking good at hiding it. I had nightmares for at least a year. Some about what they did to me, others about Cara being taken and used against me. And then there was the fact that I pushed Cara away because I thought I wouldn’t be able to please her anymore. Sure, I looked like I was handling things pretty well.”
I swallowed thickly and stared at my scarred up hands. I didn’t know what to say or even where to start. It wasn’t something I wanted to talk about, but if anyone would understand, it would be him.
“I have these moments that get to me, where I’m reminded of something that happened, and suddenly I’m back there and I can feel everything happening to me. When does that go away?”
“It never really does. Sometimes I think that everything’s going good. I won’t have any of those flashbacks for months and it’s great. And then something reminds me of what happened and it takes everything in me not to lose myself in the moment.”
I nodded, knowing that this wasn’t going to be easy no matter what.
“Do you remember when we had that self-defense class that Lola taught? It was after that whole thing with the Blood Devils.”
“Yeah.”
“Talk about a mind fuck. Here I am thinking that I’m going to teach these women a few simple maneuvers and let them get in a few shots.” He chuckled as he remembered what happened that day. “Then I get kicked in the nuts and I’m on the ground crying like a fucking baby. And all I could think about was that it was so similar to before, but then I opened my eyes and I see all these women taking us out like we’re a bunch of fucking grunts.”
“Maybe they took you down,” I grinned.
“It all turned out for the best. Cara was very sensitive to my pain when we got home.”
“You tricked your wife into fucking you so that you could forget about what happened?” I asked incredulously.
“Hey, she’s my wife. I didn’t trick her into anything. Besides, she knew what happened for the most part and was always willing to get little Sinner up and running whenever I needed it.”
“So, fuck someone. That’s your advice.”
“Well, not just anyone. You already have a woman and as I recall, you were pretty infatuated with her before you went and elevated yourself to hero status. When we get back to Colorado, fuck her senseless and forget all that other shit. Morgan is the only healing you need.”
“Please do not say sexual healing.”
Sinner jumped up and started gyrating his hips in front of me. “Baa-aaby. I need that sexual healing, oh baby.”
He crossed his ankles and did a spin, holding his hands in the air as he jerked his hips around. I was trying to decide if he was quite possibly the best dancer I had ever seen or if he looked like a fish caught on land.
“Baby, I’m hot just like an oven. I need some lovin’, and baby, I can’t hold it much longer. It’s getting stronger and stronger,” Sinner sang. I had to stifle my laugh. I mean, after all, the guy was trying to cheer me up.
“And when I get that feeling,” he sang as he ran his hands down his body and then used the chair as a step to climb onto my bed. He stood at the foot of my bed, feet on either side of my legs as he did som
e more hip thrusts.
“I want sexual healing. Sexual healing, oh baby.”
And then he undid the fucking button on his jeans and started shimmying them down his ass. What the fuck? His pants were slipping down his waist and his ass was jutting out as he ground his ass against air.
“Helps me to relieve my mind. Sexual healing baby, is good for me. Sexual-”
“Why is it that I always walk in on the weird shit?” Cap asked from the doorway. Sinner startled and tried to yank up his pants, but tripped over my leg and fell off the bed, landing against the chair and shoving it into my rolling table. The food tray that hadn’t been cleared away yet fell, spilling the nasty food on Sinner’s head.
“Why are Sinner’s pants around his ankles?” Burg asked as he walked in behind Cap.
“Sinner was putting on a show. He was thinking of taking a job at a strip club, so I suggested that he give me a demonstration.”
“And everyone thinks I’m weird because I like to watch sex,” Gabe muttered. “At least there are women in my fantasies.”
“Give me good news. Tell me you’re breaking me out of here.”
“The nurse will be by to discharge you in an hour. Go ahead and get dressed.”
Cap flung a bag at me and I unzipped it, realizing that for the first time in a year, I would be fully dressed. No more walking around naked or with a flimsy gown. I had actual clothes to put on. My hands shook slightly as I unzipped the bag and pulled out the jeans and t-shirt that were packed for me. A pair of socks and boots were at the bottom of the bag, along with a shaving kit. I had a beard that could rival a biker’s right now and my hair was disgustingly long. I always had a military haircut, but now I looked like a homeless person.
The last item I pulled out were boxers. I held them up and burst into laughter. The guys had gotten me Flinstone boxers.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Morgan
Chance was quiet as we boarded the private plane that Sebastian had secured for us. I wasn’t sure what to say to him. We hadn’t had any privacy since he rescued us from the island and there was so much that I wanted to say to him. But how did I thank someone for saving the one person that meant more to me than life itself?
Sebastian came over to me, leaning in to whisper in my ear after we were at cruising altitude. “Why don’t you take Payton to the back room. Chance is going back there and there are two beds. You can get some sleep on the flight.”
“Thanks,” I smiled.
I walked back with Payton sleeping on my shoulder. She had been wiped out since we left the hospital. None of us had really slept well and the guys had all been taking turns on watch. They had to be exhausted and ready to get back home.
I walked into the bedroom and saw Chance sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked tired and a little defeated. I had seen some of his scars, but I was sure I hadn’t seen them all. He looked different than in the hospital. He had cut his beard down to a manageable length and his hair had been shorn.
“Hey, mind if we join you?”
He smiled slightly when I walked in and nodded to the other bed. “She looks wiped out.”
“This is a lot of excitement for her.” My face crinkled when I realized that I really didn’t know my daughter anymore. I wasn’t sure what was a lot of excitement for her. I laid her down in the center of the bed and pulled the blankets over her. I sat down and hesitantly looked at Chance. He was staring at Payton, but I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.
“I want to thank you for saving us, but most of all her. Sebastian said that you could have escaped earlier, but you waited until you could plan on getting her out.”
“I promised you I would get her back.”
His voice was gruff and his eyes had a darkness to them that wasn’t quite as obvious when we first met.
“Chance, I’ve seen some of your scars and-”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped. “It’s over and it needs to stay that way. All that matters is that Payton is back. She never deserved to be in that place. No one did.”
I nodded, unsure what to say since he told me he didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to know what Payton had gone through, but she wasn’t ready to talk about it, and I wasn’t sure Chance knew either. I watched awkwardly as he ran his hand over and over across his beard. It had to be weird after a year to finally have his hair and beard the way he liked it.
“How did you escape?” I asked after a moment. Chance sighed and I knew he really didn’t want to talk about it. But then he surprised me by holding out his hand to me. I walked over and took it and let him pull me onto the bed. We both laid down and while he didn’t pull me into his arms, he linked our fingers together.
“There was a guy there that knew what was going on. He didn’t like it and he helped me escape. He did a lot for me, more than I could ever repay him for.”
“But he was working there?” Chance nodded, but it didn’t sit right with me. “He was partly responsible for what happened.”
“I’d probably be dead if it wasn’t for him,” he said quietly.
Even though I didn’t agree with Chance about this guy, I couldn’t argue with him either. I had no idea what he went through and I would probably never know. So, I kept my mouth shut and pretended that I understood.
“How did you end up with Hughes? I assumed that he wanted to make it look like you died in the fire.”
I sat up, closing my eyes as I prepared to tell Chance the one thing that would probably make him never want me again. “I went with him willingly.”
When he didn’t say anything, I scooted around to face him. His eyes looked haunted and I was afraid that telling him would make him hate me. He had been taken because of his involvement with me, and if I had just listened, maybe none of this would have happened.
“Why did you do that?”
“He offered me two choices. One was to stay in the burning house and try and find a way out on my own, or to go with him and he’d get my daughter back.”
“Florrie told me that she showed you how to get into the panic room.”
“She did,” I said hesitantly.
He studied my face, clenching his jaw tight after a moment. “You didn’t trust me to get your daughter back.”
“It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I knew he was powerful and I knew that he could get her back. I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity.”
“And what was his price for helping you?”
I took a deep breath. There was no time like the present to clear the air. “He wanted me to tell him how to get into Reed Security and to be his.”
Chance sat up, resting his elbows on his knees as he dropped his head into his hands. I wanted to touch him or comfort him, but he would probably be more angry if I tried to.
“So, what did you tell him about Reed Security?”
“I told him the code. I figured that it was the wrong code because it was from a different day. And I didn’t tell him anything about the hand and eye scanner.”
“But you still told him. You still put yourself above the security of every other person in that building. Would it have really mattered to you whether the information was correct or not?”
“It was for my daughter.” My chest tightened as I tried to hold in my tears. I didn’t want to cry, but he hadn’t been in my shoes. He wasn’t dealing with his child being lost.
“And what about the men and women that work there and their kids? Are they not as important?” he sneered. “Did you know that a few of the guys almost died? From what I’ve been told, two of them almost didn’t make it. Those people are my family and maybe they don’t mean anything to you, but they mean everything to me.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
His voice was getting louder and I glanced at Payton to make sure she was still sleeping. I didn’t want her to wake up to us arguing.
“Chance, I didn’t think that any information I was giving them would actually he
lp them, and from what Wes told me, he already knew how to get in. And believe me, when he found out that I had lied to him, I paid for it.”
I flushed and turned away as I realized what I had just told him.
“What did he do?”
The anger in his voice was low and deadly. I almost didn’t recognize this man beside me. But I couldn’t tell him. He already carried around too much from the last year. He didn’t need to think about my baggage too.
“Morgan, tell me what he did.”
“Nothing I won’t get over.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Well, it’s the only answer you’re going to get. You don’t want to talk about what happened with you and neither do I. I got my daughter back and that’s all that matters to me.”
He sighed and pulled me back down to the bed with him. This time he wrapped his arm around me, holding me close to his body. “What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have anything left. My house is gone and all my money. I need to find a job and figure out where to start over.”
“You can’t do that yet. We still haven’t caught the leader of the trafficking ring. We don’t know who attacked Reed Security, so until he’s found, it’s not safe.”
“But Wes told me that he had all the information for getting in. That means that he’s the one that attacked you.”
“He dealt in information. I talked about it with Cap and he’s not convinced that Wes was working alone. It’s not like him to get his hands dirty in such a public way. Making one person disappear is a lot easier than taking out an entire company.”
His thumb brushed up and down my arm, reminding me of how it was before. I wanted so much with him still, but I didn’t know where his head was or if he even wanted something with me. And was it even fair to ask him after all he had given? After I betrayed him? If he knew how things were with Wes, would he be ashamed of me?
✯✯✯✯✯
When we got to the house, Knight directed us to a room that was available. I found it strange that he automatically assumed we would be sharing a room with Chance. I looked to Chance for guidance, but he just jerked his head for Payton and I to follow.
Chance Page 16