“That’s up to your mom. She didn’t seem too eager to have you join in yesterday.”
“Oh, thanks for throwing me under the bus,” she grumbled. She sat up, her hair all tousled and sexy as hell. For the first time since getting out of that place, I actually wanted sex. I looked up at the ceiling and started listing different rifles and handguns. I didn’t realize until I caught Morgan staring at me that I was listing them out loud. She shot me a strange look and I flicked my eyes down to my cock that was sticking up from my sweats.
“What?” she asked in confusion. I flicked my eyes down again, but she still didn’t get it. I stared at her with wide eyes and then jerked my head to the side and down, clenching my jaw in frustration. Her eyes finally looked down, but instead of looking away, she just stared at it.
“Fuck,” I groaned when I felt myself growing larger and pushing harder against the fabric.
“Um…Payton, why don’t you get dressed.” Her voice was calm, but her eyes were still glued to my cock. Unbelievable. I was hard as cement and the woman just kept staring at me.
“If I get dressed, can I go train with the other kids?”
“Yes!” we both shouted.
As soon as Payton skipped off, I leapt off the bed and started pacing, trying to calm my body down. I needed a cold shower, but Payton just went into the bathroom and if she walked out here and I was sticking out of my pants, that would be an uncomfortable conversation. Pain, I needed pain. That would definitely stop me from thinking with my dick.
“Punch me in the face.”
“What?” Morgan looked at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was.
“Just do it before your daughter comes back out here and sees me sticking out like a fucking tree branch.”
“You need to learn to watch your language around her.”
“I’ll put a quarter in the jar.”
“We don’t have a jar.”
“Woman, stop arguing and fucking punch me.”
She reared back and punched me right in the eye. I had forgotten how scrappy Morgan could be. I should have remembered from when I broke into her apartment. I bent over, holding my face and swearing internally for this being the only way I could get myself under control around her.
“What happened?” Payton asked as she walked out.
“I tripped and fell and hit my face on something.”
“Did you trip because of the big thing that was sticking out of your pants?” She was so fucking innocent when she said it that I almost burst into laughter.
“I just tripped on my shoelace.”
“But you don’t have shoes on.” She quirked her head to the side, staring at me for answers.
I chuckled, nodding like an idiot. “You’re right. Okay, well, let’s go.”
I headed for the door without another word, but Morgan cleared her throat, stopping me in my tracks.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“What?”
“Clothes?”
I looked down at my sweatpants and t-shirt. It wasn’t like I had to dress up, but if I was around Morgan, it was safest to have something a little more restricting on.
“Right.”
When I was changed, we took Payton downstairs and got her set up with a trainer. I could tell Morgan was still hesitant, but she was a trooper and just smiled when Payton got excited as soon as we walked in. One of the trainers walked over. He was a big black guy, intimidating as hell. He had one of the best poker faces I had ever seen and scared the kids shitless. That’s what made him so good at training. The kids knew not to fuck around with him. It made all the parents feel more secure when it was time for the kids to start handling weapons.
“Morgan, this is Thomas, one of our trainers. He’ll start Payton off right and make sure she knows what she’s doing.”
“Nice to meet you.” She shook Thomas’s hand and placed her hands on Payton’s shoulders. “This is my daughter, Payton.”
“Hi, Payton. I’m Thomas and I’ll be getting you started with your training. Are you ready?”
“Yes!” Payton jumped up and down excitedly and Thomas’s smile turned into a look so serious that her excitement faded.
“I want you to remember one thing while you’re here. It’s a motto that the Navy SEALs use. Do you know what a motto is?”
Payton shook her head, rapt with attention.
“It’s a phrase that motivates all of us to do better. The motto is The only easy day was yesterday. Now, you remember that because you’re going to need it around here.” Payton nodded. “See that woman with the blonde hair?” Thomas pointed across the gym to a small group of kids that were stretching. “Go ahead over there and start stretching with the other kids. Natalie will show you what to do.”
Payton took off across the gym, getting right to work as soon as she joined the group. Morgan pointed to some of the other kids. “Do I need to get her something special to wear?”
“No, ma’am. She can wear whatever is comfortable. Back at home, we have military uniforms they wear, but we didn’t have any out here.”
“I’m sorry, did you say military uniforms?”
I chuckled to myself at the look of horror on Morgan’s face.
“Yes, we like to instill the same bond in these kids as they do in the military. It helps to reinforce working together as a team.”
“Are you planning on taking them on a mission?” Morgan chuckled.
“You never know, ma’am. It’s better to be prepared.” His face was so serious that even I was a little fooled.
Morgan’s eyes flew to mine in panic. I tried to keep a straight face, but it was too fucking hard.
“Morgan, he’s fucking with you. Let’s just say that Cap and some of the other guys are just a tad obsessive about this shit. It got a little out of control, but as of right now, there are no plans for the kids to go into battle.”
“Not yet,” Thomas smirked, “but there are always those missions where a small person is necessary for squeezing into tight spaces.”
We both laughed, but Morgan was still looking at us like we were delusional, which made us laugh harder.
“Don’t worry, Morgan. When the kids start off, it’s all about self-defense training. Your daughter is nowhere near ready to go off on any missions.”
Thomas left to go help with training, so I took Morgan’s hand, leading her away from the training center. It was better if she didn’t stick around. With everything that happened, she would probably be worried about Payton the whole time. But nobody would let anything happen to Payton, and they all knew how to deal with kids that had panic attacks.
“I wish I knew what happened while she was gone,” Morgan said as we walked back to the main area of the house.
“She’ll tell you when she’s ready. I know Cap is going to have to set up a meet soon for the government. They’re going to want a statement from Payton.”
“How will we do that when we’re in hiding?”
“We’ll have to meet them somewhere. Cap will take all the necessary precautions.”
“Will she be training all day?”
“No, they train for a little bit in the morning and then the kids that are old enough for school will be tutored.”
“Wow, that’s quite a setup. Did you have this back at Reed Security?”
“Yes, we started as soon as the guys started having kids. None of them wanted their kids to be out in the open all the time. They’re a little paranoid. It started off as a training center and just got out of control from there.”
“What will Payton do? I mean, she’s supposed to be starting kindergarten, but I don’t even know if she knows how to act around other kids.”
“There were other kids with her on the island. Chances are, she had to learn to get along with them. I have to go talk with Cap about a few things. I’ll see what I can find out about her time there and about meeting with an agent for her statement.”
“Can I come with you?”
&
nbsp; “Um, the things I need to talk with Cap about, it’s…”
“That’s fine,” she said in understanding. “I’ll go find the girls and you can come find me when you’re done.”
I gave her a kiss and then headed for Cap’s office. This was one conversation I didn’t want to have. I seemed to be dealing okay as long as I was distracted. When I woke up this morning, my mind didn’t immediately go back to the island, so I took that as a good sign and tried to just keep up a positive attitude. But going to see Cap, I knew what he would want and it was going to be hell.
✯✯✯✯✯
“How’s the leg?” Cap asked as I walked in. I still had a little bit of a limp, but luckily, the shot had been a clean through and through.
“Not too bad. More of an annoyance than anything.”
He nodded and leaned back in his chair. I recognized the gaze on his face. He was about to ask me some tough shit, which I had already figured he would when he asked to speak to me yesterday. I decided to cut him off before he could ask.
“Did the feds release the information about Hughes?”
“No. There were too many people that were in his pocket.”
“So, that’s it? He’s dead and no one finds out what a scumbag he really was?”
“Well, it doesn’t really matter at this point. He doesn’t have any family. His assets will all be divided up among his corporations.”
“So everyone walks away.” I scoffed. “I wonder if Morgan would think it doesn’t matter.”
“Chance, you know that I didn’t have any say in this. I’m just telling it like it is.”
I knew he was right, but it still pissed me off. It was like he was saying that what Hughes did was okay. He had taken Morgan and used her. He had used her daughter against her. Would we ever find out his real connection to the trafficking leader? What if other people were involved? All these questions were just being swept under the rug to protect other scumbags that dealt with him.
“I know that this is not something you want to talk about, but I need to debrief you.”
“No, you don’t. It wasn’t a job, so this doesn’t really have anything to do with Reed Security missions.” My body was tense as I sat there waiting for his response. I wasn’t being completely accurate. I had been taken from Reed Security and been rescued by them also. Technically, this had everything to do with them, but I had to use anything I could to avoid talking about it.
“You know that’s not true. Look, we still have someone out there that has a hard-on for us. I need to know everything so we can be prepared. Don’t pretend like this is news to you.”
My hands shook at the thought of reliving any of that. I couldn’t go through everything now. I had just convinced myself to be strong enough to push past everything and try to move on. Now he wanted me to relive it. Would that send me back to hell?
“Let’s just start with what you feel comfortable telling me. Details that might help us figure out who we’re dealing with.”
I nodded, bouncing my leg nervously as I thought back to when I first arrived. I couldn’t stop scratching my face and itching my head. I felt wired and ready to snap. “On the plane, I remember hearing a voice that sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I’m not sure that I even remember what the voice sounded like anymore. Plus, I was drugged, so my memory of that is shit.”
I sat there for another minute, still fidgeting as I tried to come up with more details. “Weston Hughes was there when I tried to escape. He was the one that told me that Payton was on the island. At the time it made me think that he was responsible for taking me.”
“But not anymore?”
“The guy who helped me escape, he looks familiar to me. I don’t know how. There’s just something about him that makes me think I know him, or someone related to him. When he helped me escape, he wouldn’t come with me. I thought that was really strange because what he did would get anyone killed. He said that he hoped he would be fine because his father was the boss.”
“Mark. Did you get his last name?”
“No, but Wes was obviously working with him because he announced that he was coming the day you picked us up. He would have to be connected to this guy in order to show up whenever he wanted.”
“Maybe he’s a backer. Do you know if he ever visited anyone while he was there?”
“Yeah, I could see straight into the compound from my cell,” I said sarcastically.
“Chance, I’m just trying to get any information I can.”
“You don’t fucking need to know anything else. Those are the only things that would matter. And that doesn’t even tell us anything, unless you have a rolodex of people I’ve met throughout my life and their voice recordings.”
I knew I was pushing it with Cap. He would only tolerate so much, but this was not a subject I wanted to talk about.
“I hope you realize that none of us can go home until we find this guy. He’s after us and he’s not going to stop.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“Do you want to stake Morgan and Payton’s lives on it? Because I sure as hell don’t want to risk my family.”
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. I had to get my shit together and help out no matter how much I didn’t want to. If I wouldn’t do it, there was no way Morgan would be willing to talk to Cap.
“I don’t think there’s anything else to tell you,” I said calmly. “The guys on the island weren’t hardcore soldiers. They were probably hired thugs. They didn’t need too much security because nobody knew the location of the island. It seemed like they were there more to keep everyone in line.”
“If they were hired thugs, how is it that you didn’t try to escape sooner?”
I closed my eyes, my jaw was shaking, my leg was bouncing, my body was vibrating. I felt the whip slashing at me. I felt the noose around my neck. I felt the ropes around my wrists as I was tied down and-
Bile rose in my throat and I was so fucking hot that I started hyperventilating. Cap shoved a basket at me and I puked over and over until I was a shaking mess on the ground. Cap put his hand on my shoulder and I flipped out, grabbing his wrist and flipping him onto his back. I was in a fit of rage and was probably a lot stronger than I normally was, but Cap also didn’t try and break my hold. He sat up and just watched me. I couldn’t stand being under the microscope anymore.
I fled his makeshift office and headed for the back door. I saw Gabe and Jackson following me as I turned toward the lake. I didn’t need any shit from them right now. What I needed was a beer and some fucking space. They couldn’t even give me that though. I paced by the lake, trying to shake the feelings running through me. When would this stop? It had only been a few days and I already felt like I would completely lose it if I had to relive this shit anymore.
“We saw you heading out of Cap’s office,” Jackson said. “You know you can talk to us, right?”
“Yeah, whatever,” I said, not really wanting to talk about any of this with them. I needed some time and space so that I could get myself under control.
“I’m serious,” Jackson said, gripping onto my arm and spinning me around. “Do you think none of us has ever had to deal with the demons from our time at war?”
“Demons? You have dreams about killing other men or the horrors you’ve seen. Have you ever dreamed about being tortured over and over again until you feel like you’re back there?”
Jackson and Gabe were silent.
“Sometimes I can still feel that whip hitting my back. I remember every fucking minute of my time there. I can’t get it out of my head and sometimes the memories are so overwhelming that I can’t push them away.”
“Maybe if you talk about it….” Gabe suggested. “We’ve all been there, and I’m not saying it’s the same, because I know it’s not. But if anyone will understand, it’ll be us.”
I felt the bite of the whip.
I felt the pressure on my lungs as I gasped for air.
> I felt the tightening of the noose around my neck.
I felt myself sinking into the water, knowing that I was going to drown.
I shook out my hands, trying not to let the tingling take over. It was all downhill after that. First it was the shakes and then it was feeling like I needed to crawl out of my own skin. If I didn’t get a handle on it, I would start skinning myself just to feel like I wasn’t in my own body anymore.
“Chance…”
I stared at the ground as tears pricked my eyes. I felt like a failure. I was supposed to be the strong one in my family. I was the guy that went off to war. I was a sniper and took out the bad guys. But right now, I was the guy that felt like I couldn’t get my shit together. I couldn’t even fucking sleep without pain medication. I was scared that I would wake up and be back in that place, just hanging on by a thread to survive. When everyone looked at me, they saw the guy that ran through the firefight to get Payton and Morgan to safety. They saw a hero. But I had just done what I had to that day. I was no hero. I was a fucking failure because I had let them win.
I sat down on the grass and stared into the water. “I don’t know how to get back to who I was,” I said after a minute.
“Maybe there is no going back.” Gabe sat down on my right side and then Jackson took the left side. I felt boxed in and my breathing increased again. The sweating, the prickling, it was all coming back.
“Just…give me some space.”
Jackson and Gabe moved away, giving me a little more space to breathe, but Jackson wasn’t going to let this go.
“When I was on the run with Raegan, there was this moment that I thought we were going to die, and I felt like such a failure. I was supposed to be this protector and I couldn’t do it. I was sure that I was going to get her killed.”
“But you did save her.”
“And you saved Morgan and Payton,” he reassured me.
Was that enough? I had saved the woman I wanted and her daughter, but did that make everything okay? I was so fucking lost and when memories took over, I wasn’t sure I would ever get back. “Maybe, but I’m not sure I saved myself.”
Chance Page 18