The McCoys of Holy Rock

by Shelia E. Bell

“Things are good,” Rena replied forcefully.

  “How’s Robert.”

  “Robert’s good.”

  “And the kids?”

  “They’re good,” she said, not offering anything more.

  “That’s good to hear,” Stiles responded.

  “Look, let’s cut through all the formalities. What’s going on? I mean, the last few times I reached out to you to see how you were doing, you let me know without mincing words that I was the last person you wanted to talk to. You didn’t seem like you could even stand to hear my voice. Now all of a sudden we’re sitting here in your car, pretending like we’re best buddies. I don’t understand.”

  “I know you don’t. And I’m sorry for all of that. I told myself that if by chance you came this weekend, I was going to make it my business to talk to you, to set the record straight.”

  “Set the record straight? What are you talking about?” She swallowed hard, lifted her chin, and boldly focused on him, thinking that he was about to say something else distasteful toward her.

  “I’m talking about the way I’ve treated you when you’ve always been nothing but kind to me. You’ve showed your concern during everything I’ve gone through over the years. The death of my baby girl, well, let’s just say, it left me in a bad way. God has surely put me through some fiery trials.”

  “But you’re a strong man, Stiles.” Rena’s voice softened. “A strong man of God. I can only imagine what you’ve been going through, and I’m so sorry. That’s all I was trying to tell you when I reached out to you.”

  “See, that’s what I mean.” His tone was apologetic. “You are always so kind, so positive. And me, I’ve been nothing but rude and unkind toward you. Rena, I just want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I treated you so badly during our marriage and the divorce. I’m sorry that I judged you when I have so many demons in my own closet. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that you were only trying to be my friend when I was going through everything with Detria and losing my little girl, and even when my mother died. God has been dealing with me, you know.”

  Rena listened, too stunned to cry. She could feel her face become flushed. Her heartbeat picked up its pace, surprised by this unpredictable man.

  “I don’t know what else to say, but to beg you to forgive me. I know now that’s what’s been missing in my life—a lack of forgiveness. I can’t move forward until I forgive, Rena. I had to start with you. I want you to know that I really did love you. You still have a piece of my heart. It’s just that I couldn’t accept what happened between you and Francesca.”

  “There’s no need to apologize, Stiles. I understand. At least, I do now. I have to admit that I’m no angel either. I should have told you about Frankie and me…I mean Francesca. I should have told you about the STD. About everything before we got married, but I didn’t. I was ashamed of what me and Francesca were doing. I felt trapped by her and sorry for her at the same time. I didn’t know how to handle things. I’m sorry that I hurt you, Stiles. And for the record, I loved you too.”

  They sat in the car in silence, both looking straight ahead. A stream of people poured out of the hall. Many of them were laughing and talking as they went to their cars. Some stood on the parking lot talking.

  “There my parents are,” Rena said suddenly, pointing at the group of people walking in the direction of where Stiles was parked.

  “Where?” he asked.

  Rena continued pointing. “Right there,” she said.

  “Oh, yeah, I see ‘em now. Well, I guess I better get back inside and catch up with Pastor and Josie. I want to talk to Pastor McCoy and his family, too.”

  Rena placed her hand on the door handle. “For what it’s worth, thank you, Stiles. What you said means a lot. And I want you to know that I accept your apology, and I hope you’ll forgive me, too.”

  “Forgive you for what?”

  “For not being the wife and the woman you needed.”

  Stiles answered, “It wasn’t you. It’s just that it wasn’t meant to be, Rena.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek

  Rena heard his quick intake of breath and a soft gasp escaped her. Trembling, she opened the door, put one foot outside the car, then turned and looked at Stiles. She spoke the next words carefully. “I think there’s a part of me that will always love you.” Rena hurriedly got out of the car and closed the door behind her without waiting for a response.

  Stiles leaned back against his seat assailed by a terrible sense of guilt when he thought of how unfair he had treated the woman he once loved. As he watched her approach her parents, the heaviness he carried around all of these years slowly began to dissipate. He felt a sense of relief, felt lighthearted, like maybe he could finally move forward with his life. Goodbye. You’re the one that I let get away.

  “Where are you son?” The text from Pastor said.

  Stiles opened the car door, got out of his car, and momentarily stood in the parking lot next to it. He looked around. Rena and her parents were no longer in sight. He texted his father. “Was outside, headed back in. Where are you?”

  “Still inside. Can you take Josie home? Something came up and I need to meet with some of the ministers about tomorrow’s service.”

  “Sure. She ready?”

  “Yes. Meet you at entrance.”

  “Ok.”

  12

  If you carry bricks from your old relationship to your new one, you will build the same house. Unknown

  Pastor pulled around to the back entrance of Holy Rock and waited until he saw Margaret exit from the door that he told her to come to. He reached over and opened the passenger door as she walked up to his car.

  “I feel like I’m going on a secret mission,” Margaret teased as she climbed inside the car and closed the door.

  “No time for jokes, Margaret.” Pastor drove off the parking lot in a hurry. He didn’t say another word to Margaret although she was going on and on about her excitement to be in Memphis. He continued driving until he arrived at a walking park located a few blocks from Holy Rock. Driving along the winding road, he entered the park, drove into a parking space, turned off the ignition, and looked at her with eyes that were hard and scornful.

  Margaret looked around, surveying her surroundings. There were very few cars or people in the park. “I hope you didn’t bring me out here to do away with me,” she said, suddenly feeling uneasy but trying to sound calm and unbothered.

  “You know darn well I’m not going to do anything to you, so stop with all the shenanigans. You were always so, so overdramatic. I want to know one thing, and don’t give me another one of your smart answers. Tell me. What…are…you…doing here, Margaret? What do you want?”

  “What kind of silly question is that? Anyway, I’m so proud of Hezekiah and Fancy. Aren’t you? Oh, and to answer your question, I have some special news to share. It’s not the kind of news you want to share over the phone or FaceTime, you know.”

  “Share? Share with who? And you wouldn’t know how to FaceTime anyone, so stop all of the buffoonery. I’m tired, Margaret. Enough with all this game playing.”

  Margaret stopped the sarcasm and suddenly her expression stilled and grew serious. “Look, first of all, you walked out on me—you left me, then the next thing I hear is that you’re married. May the devil torture that woman’s wicked soul! So, I don’t think that gives you the right to demand anything from me. I’m in Memphis because I want to be in Memphis. I don’t owe you any explanation other than that.”

  “Let me remind you of something, Margaret. I did not leave you for anybody. You’re the one who left Memphis after you almost got me locked up. Calling the cops telling them I raped you just because I told you that it was over between us.”

  “You shouldn’t have made me mad, and anyway, you didn’t go to prison. I’m the one who got into trouble after I told them that I made the whole rape thing up. Don’t you understand; you broke my heart, Chauncey? Things could h
ave worked out if you hadn’t married that woman.”

  “I will never forget what you did. As far as me getting married, you and I were done way before I met my wife. So leave it alone already and tell me what you’re doing here.” Pastor’s voice escalated and he rubbed his forehead back and forth.

  “That’s a lie. Me and you were together for two years. Two years,” she repeated with a raised voice and furrowed brow.

  “Okay, okay. So we were together two years, and it didn’t work out. One thing has nothing to do with the other, and you know it. When I met Audrife, you hadn’t seen or heard from you in years. You were too jealous an will it take to get that through your thick skull, woman?”

  “Okay, but what about our child? How could you turn your back on your own kid?”

  “Kid? What kid?” His eyes glittered with anger. “B…” he caught himself before he called her out of her name. “You’re crazy. You were crazy back then and you’re still crazy. Thank God I didn’t have a kid with you.”

  “Don’t you call me crazy,” Margaret screamed. “Don’t you ever call me crazy, Chauncey Graham,” she screamed even louder. “You know we have a child. You walked out on me knowing full well I was pregnant.” Margaret ranted uncontrollably. “Then you turned around and welcomed that witch of a woman into Holy Rock. You had to play the Good Samaritan, pretending like you were trying to help her get back on her feet after her husband died.”

  Pastor looked at her with marked curiosity. “How do you know all of this? You don’t know anything about me or my wife, God rest her sweet soul.”

  “Sweet soul? You’ve got to be kidding me. You fell for that woman’s Jezebel ways. Now you want to sit here and try to blame me for our breakup, all because of a little misunderstanding. Well, I’m not going to let that happen. I’ve been quiet for far too long. You may not have seen me, but you best believe I kept up with you—and her. When that witch died, I was so glad that I could have tap danced on her grave.”

  “You really are delusional. Seriously, you need help, Margaret. None of what you said happened, at least not the way you say it did.” Pastor started the car.

  Margaret jerked his hand off the ignition switch. “You knew that I was pregnant but you left me anyway.”

  Pastor pushed her hand away, turned off the ignition again and argued back. “First of all, when we broke up, I admit, you did tell me you were pregnant, but you also turned around and told me you lost the baby, that you had a miscarriage. Just like you lied to the cops about me raping you. And there was another time you told me you were pregnant but you said I was not the father. Another time you said you were pregnant then you turned around and said you weren’t. You were always full of tricks.”

  “Okay, so I lied.” Margaret began to cry.

  “You’re always lying. That’s the problem.” Pastor looked on, not sure what to say next. He could never be sure when she was telling the truth.

  “We do have a kid! Do you hear me? We have a son!”

  “And do you hear me? You’re lying! I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth. There is no kid.” Pastor shook his head in total shock and dismay. This woman was definitely a whacko job. “What is it you want, Margaret? You’re in Memphis for more than the church’s Jubilee. You haven’t returned in all of these years, so what makes this year so special? Why did you show back up here now? To try to send me to my grave? And what sick game are you playing with poor Pastor McCoy and his family? And don’t tell me again about some kid cause you and I both know that’s impossible. I would have known if I had a kid.”

  “I only told you that I had a miscarriage because you said things were over between us. But I didn’t have a miscarriage. I was three months pregnant when I caught the bus and went back to Chicago. That’s where I met Tonya. She was on her way back to Chicago too.”

  “Who is Tonya?”

  “I just told you, the woman on the bus. Anyway, we became friends. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to, and she was easy to talk to. My father wouldn’t have had anything to do with me if he found out I was pregnant,” she cried.

  “Margaret,” Pastor began calming down and becoming more sympathetic. “You’re mixed up. A lot of what you think happened is in your mind.”

  “It’s not in my mind. Stop telling me what’s in my mind. Stop telling me that I’m crazy. You think I’m crazy because when I had our son I…I…tried to…to,” she stuttered.

  “Tried to what?”

  “I tried to kill ‘em. But I didn’t, Chauncey. I didn’t kill him. I only hurt him a little bit. I wasn’t well back then, and Tonya, she got me some help so it was only right that I give her our baby.”

  Pastor sat in the driver’s seat frozen like a block of ice as he listened to Margaret’s tale.

  “I gave her our baby so he would be safe. And he was safe. Even if it meant he had to grow up in Cabrini Green, he was still safe with her. I knew she would treat him good, real good and, and she had a husband and…and…and they promised that they would do right by him. I signed my parental rights over to her and her husband. That was a good thing too. I know it was. And when I got out of that God awful place, I went to see him and he was good so Tonya told me I should just let him stay. So I did. And she let me come see him from time to time as long as I didn’t tell him that I was his mama. Wasn’t that a good thing, Chauncey? God told me that I did good. And she had an older son so he had someone to play with.” Margaret smiled, acting seemingly excited over what she’d said and done.

  “If I believed a word of what you said, which I don’t, you’re telling me that you gave your kid to some woman you happened to meet on a bus?”

  “Correction, I gave our kid, and she wasn’t just some woman on a bus; she was my friend! But it was okay, Chauncey, because you see, later on I met someone else, and we fell in love. He didn’t do me like you did me, and I forgot all about you. God gave me a second chance. Someone loved me again and I got pregnant.” Margaret held her head between her hands and shook it from side to side.

  Pastor realized that he was sitting across from someone who was clearly unstable. How much of what she was saying was true? And if it was true about her being pregnant by him all those years ago, he could possibly have a kid out there somewhere.

  Margaret’s eyes were glazed over. Her speech rapid as she kept talking. “I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. She took everything from me. I’m glad she’s dead. I’m so glad she’s dead, dead, dead. Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead.”

  “Who are you talking about? Who took everything from you?” Chauncey pushed.

  “She came to visit me in Chicago. She was so nice. She bought me a blue dress. You know blue is my favorite color. She told me I should come stay with her and her husband for a while and she would take care of me until I got better. All I had to do was put her over my disability check and she would make sure I had everything I needed.

  “So I did what she said. Her husband wasn’t like you, Chauncey; he was a good man, but she didn’t appreciate him. She was always so selfish. All he wanted was one thing, but noooo, she wouldn’t give him what he wanted. She wouldn’t give him a kid, so I gave him one. Simple as that. Of course, she was furious when she found out me and him had been sleeping together, but I didn’t care ‘cause I was in love. Plus, she always got what she wanted so it was my turn to be happy. He told me he was going to ask her for a divorce, and me, him and our baby would live happily ever after. But then he had a horrible accident, and, and he died.” Margaret burst into another round of sobs.

  “Margaret, let me get you back to the church so you can go home and get some rest. You’re confused,” Pastor said, this time his voice was full of empathy and pity. Margaret was clearly insane, yet oddly, part of him began to entertain some of what she said. He couldn’t take any more. I could have a kid? God, help us all if what she’s saying is true.

  Margaret paid no mind to Hezekiah. “You think that wench just so happened to walk into Holy Rock all those ye
ars ago by chance? Humph, if you believe that then you’re just as mixed up as you say I am.”

  “What are you saying, Margaret?”

  “I’m saying that Audrey, the wicked witch, stole my baby! She always took everything from me,” Margaret cried. “She hated me because her husband loved me and not her, but she never loved him. I loved him and he loved me.” Margaret was distraught and kept on talking. “That’s why she broke us apart,” she rambled in and out of making sense to talking nonsense. “After her husband died, the man I loved, she stole my baby, Chauncey. Then the wicked witch sent me back to Chicago to that hospital and she made me give up my boy forever. I don’t know how she did it, but everybody thought it was her kid. How could she do that? How could she make me give her my son? Why did she do that Chauncey? Why did she take my boy away from me? I already lost one son and she had to take my precious little baby. Now I don’t have anything; both of my boys are gone.”

  Pastor felt his chest tighten and he laid his right hand over it.

  “No need to try to have a heart attack on me. I heard you’ve had a few of ‘em already, and I don’t want no parts of it.”

  “How do you know Audrey?” Pastor’s voice rose in anger.

  “How do I know her? Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said. She’s my evil sister. I hated her then and I still hate her even if she is burning in hell. Me and her were never close as sisters, and thank God we didn’t grow up together. Audrey was just like her mother. Daddy left my mother for Audrey’s mother. Do you know that he married that woman three months after my mother divorced him?”

  “Audrey, my Audrey? Your sister?”

  “Yes, the wicked witch is my sister.”

  “This can’t be true. Audrey never mentioned having a sister. And neither did you.”

  “Why would I tell you anything about her? She was a wicked witch.”

  “But Audrey had only one child when she and I met…Stiles.”