Saint (Gates of Heaven Book 1)

by M. Tasia

  “Get over it? You slept with Ryan, and lord knows how many other men before I found out. So, the answer is never. Move on with your life and leave me alone.”

  Blake opened his mouth as if to argue when Saint leaned against Max’s side and ran his bandaged hand over Max’s chest. “Is there a problem, sweetheart? You know Mom will be getting dinner ready soon, and we don’t want to keep Evie waiting.”

  Max was speechless. Not only was he struck mute, but his body began reacting to having Saint so close. Max could feel Saint’s hard pecs rubbing against his arm and his warm hand was sending goosebumps across Max’s suddenly overheated skin.

  “Who’s this?” Blake hissed as he took a single step closer to Saint. Max immediately placed his body between them. There was no way he’d allow Blake to take a shot at Saint.

  “Oh, where are my manners.” Saint feigned innocence and Max almost burst out laughing. “I’m Max’s boyfriend, Saint Jeffrey. And you are…?”

  Blake’s face turned red. “You replaced me.”

  “The way I hear it, honey, you replaced Max several times over. So I’d turn that little hissy fit you have brewing around and aim it at yourself. You lost him. I won’t be that stupid.” Saint smiled sweetly at Blake before looking back at Max. “You done here, babe?”

  “Yep. I’m more than done.” Max played along and wrapped his arm around Saint’s muscled waist. “Stay away from me, Blake. There’s nothing left to say.”

  Max turned Saint around with the utmost care, not wanting to put too much pressure on his abdomen, and walked them in the open barn doors. His mind was racing. Saint is gay. Max was having a hard time processing how good it felt to have Saint in his arms.

  Once they made it inside, he heard tires squealing out of the parking lot. Max didn’t want to let Saint go, but accepted that he must and slipped his arm from around Saint’s waist. Embarrassment and shock at having his private life thrown open for display made Max wonder what Saint thought of him now. Yep, he’d been a gullible fool for being strung along by an obvious narcissist. Not one of his shining moments.

  What he didn’t expect was for Saint to start laughing. A deep, rumbling sound that sent shivers down Max’s spine and made him smile.

  “I’m sorry if I went a little overboard there, but I couldn’t help myself. ‘You replaced me’? Hell, the look on his face.” Saint wiped tears from his eyes before looking over at Max. “I’ve either scared the jerk off or made you incredibly more desirable. Not sure which.”

  “I’m sorry about that. If I had any idea he’d pull—”

  “Don’t worry about it. We all have things in our lives we wish would remain in the past.” Saint spoke as if what just happened was nothing unusual, and continued with, “Besides, I’m having a hard time keeping my skeletons behind a locked door. Now, what are we here to pick up?”

  Max would let it go for now, but if Blake ever pulled this shit again, he’d be ready for him. He also didn’t want to think too long or hard that he was disappointed Saint seemed unaffected by their physical contact. What did I expect? He was only saving my ass.

  God, he had to get laid. It’d been far too long.

  “Well, is it a surprise or are you going to tell me?” Saint asked, and Max had to think quick considering he’d lost track of the conversation and now stood staring into those happy blue eyes. Max had to admit he liked this version of Saint and got the feeling this was how the man behaved normally.

  “Don’t worry. We’re here to get a little ass.”

  Chapter Six

  Saint stared at the small beast. It couldn’t have been more than two feet tall with bushy hair in gray and white patches. He couldn’t see its eyes from the long forelock falling over them, but he didn’t need to to know the animal was terrified.

  “This would be the little ass you were talking about?” Saint asked as he stared across the pen at the miniature donkey.

  “Yep. This is Emma. My mom’s latest project,” Max answered with a knowing smirk.

  Saint tried to ignore how handsome it made the man and concentrated on Emma. “What happened to her?”

  “She was found in one of those roadside petting zoos when the SPCA shut it down. Emma had been left in a small pen with knee-deep mud and manure without clean water or fresh food. She’s shy with everyone, which makes me wonder what else those bastards did to her.” The vehemence in Max’s anger shouldn’t have surprised Saint, and only served to reveal the depth of the man’s passion. And that thought led Saint down another road. A dangerous road. He slammed the door before ideas began to coalesce.

  Max moved closer to Saint’s side as he spoke, and Saint was doing his best to remain unaffected. He’d almost given himself away earlier but covered it up by laughing the incident off. Max’s arm around him felt so right, but that wasn’t in the cards for them. He needed Max’s help with the building and would never risk getting involved. If things didn’t work out, he could lose more than a lover.

  A young woman was trying to corral Emma so she could be loaded into the trailer. It wasn’t going well, and with every second that passed the little donkey became more and more distressed.

  On instinct, Saint opened the gate to the enclosure and walked toward the unfolding scene. The woman looked exhausted and more than a little pissed at having to chase the donkey around the pen.

  Saint raised his hands in a show of surrender. “Ma’am, I’ll take over from here.”

  She huffed and handed him the lead rope before saying, “Good luck,” and stomping away.

  He had noticed Max follow him in, but thankfully he remained as far away as possible. Saint maneuvered a bale of hay with his legs, the only part of him still pain free, and sat down in the center. He made sure to leave plenty of room for Emma to get by him so she didn’t feel trapped.

  He hadn’t tried to calm an animal in a long time and hoped he still had the ability from when he was a child. He sat, and he waited. Max leaned against the wall and got comfortable. Saint was glad to see that Max didn’t seem to be in a hurry because this could take some time.

  Laying the lead rope down on the hay beside him seemed to get Emma’s attention. Saint let his hands hang loosely between his knees. He watched as her dark eyes shifted from Max and back to him as if waiting for one of them to attack. That was a fear he knew all too well. Waiting for the strike, blow, kick, or gunshot. The waiting broke you, not the pain.

  “I know how scary this must be.” Saint spoke in a calm voice a few decibels above a whisper. “I’ve been locked in a cage before, and I get never knowing what’s going to happen next.”

  Emma took a few steps to her right as if testing him. Would he get up and chase her like the others? Saint knew better, and he’d wait for Emma to extend him a small amount of trust.

  She took a couple more steps, and then another until she had worked her way around the pen and was back to where she’d originally started. Of course, that lap took about a half hour, but he hadn’t moved. The next step Emma took was toward him. “That’s it, girl. I’m not going to hurt you. Max wants to take you home so that you’re safe and loved.”

  Saint felt a little bit weird talking to the donkey, but it was what he had done in the forest behind his home. It had worked then. It was possible it could now.

  Another step forward. Emma stretched her neck out, scenting the air around Saint. “I promise you I’ve had a shower.”

  Max’s soft laugh did things to Saint that couldn’t be explained. It felt as though it caressed him like a warm wave. Cut that shit out.

  “It doesn’t matter what I say, as long as I’m not threatening her. You can talk softly as well to get her used to your voice,” Saint suggested, hoping to take Max’s attention away from him.

  Max smiled wide, letting him know that he knew what Saint was doing. “Hey, Emma, I’m not going to hurt you either. That’s never going to happen again, I swear. We have a great big barn and pastures for you to roam in.”

  The little don
key took the last few steps and began sniffing at Saint’s hands. He remained motionless, allowing Emma time to investigate at her own pace. Over an hour had gone by and the early twilight could be seen through the windows, but there was no hurrying this.

  Slowly, Emma calmed enough to nibble at the hay bale he was sitting on. Saint slowly lifted the lead rope and allowed her to check it out. She was already wearing a harness so once she was comfortable he attached the clip and slowly stood. The entire time he rubbed and scratched her head and neck, never allowing her the chance to tense. When he felt she was ready, he began to lead her toward the gate. Max was already holding it open and the two of them simply walked out.

  They were halfway to the trailer when a sharp beeping sounded nearby. It had to be a delivery truck backing up. Saint looked at Max, desperate for the noise to stop because Emma was becoming agitated all over again. Max took off running in the direction of the noise while Emma began pulling back on the rope. Saint had never been so happy to have inch-thick padding cover his palms because that would have been one hell of a rope burn.

  Considering he could barely wrap his hands around the rope, he dropped it and knelt in front of Emma. Saint held her harness as best he could and spoke calmly while rubbing her face and ears. Flashes of his own battles clouded his mind as she trembled in his arms, stealing his breath and bringing tears to his eyes.

  ***

  Max had been barely able to keep from knocking some sense into the delivery driver. The jerk had the nerve to argue with him when he asked the guy to stop until they had Emma safely on the trailer. As if the extra few moments to help out a frightened animal was too much for the driver to bear. Max honestly didn’t understand some people.

  When he walked back into the barn, he stopped in mid-stride at the sight before him. Saint had his arms wrapped around Emma’s neck while he spoke quietly into the donkey’s ear. The amazing part—Emma didn’t move or struggle to get free. She stood with the side of her head leaning on Saint’s shoulder.

  As he neared, Max picked up on parts of what Saint was saying until he was close enough to hear him repeat the same words over and over: “You’re safe now.” He hadn’t missed Saint’s comment about being held in a cage but now was not the time to ask questions.

  Max scuffed his boots along the floor so that he wouldn’t surprise them. When Saint looked up, his eyes were distant and a bit wild.

  “The driver will wait until we get Emma loaded in the trailer before he starts moving again. Is she all right?” Max asked, trying his best to suppress his need to drop to his knees and comfort them both.

  Saint blinked a few times and his eyes cleared. “Yeah, we’re ready to get out of here,” he said before standing and walking toward Max’s truck. Emma dutifully followed. The surprising part was the fact that Saint hadn’t picked up her lead rope.

  They walked calmly up the ramp and into the trailer without further incident. Shock wasn’t close to describing how Max felt about today’s events. From the way Saint had rescued him from his ex, to how he patiently earned Emma’s trust. This was not the same man he’d met over a week ago. Max wasn’t so naive as to believe the angry version wouldn’t be making a return. But Max felt honored to be given this glimpse into the man before the trauma of whatever happened had taken over.

  ***

  It was late when they finally made it back to the farm. By the time they had gotten Emma settled and reheated dinner, Max was exhausted and fell into his bed. Unfortunately, sleep remained elusive as he listened to Saint pace back and forth in his room. Max knew the guy had to be equally as exhausted. Why was he pacing?

  Knowing he wasn’t going to be able to sleep anytime soon, Max threw his covers back and got out of bed. Thank God, he had sleep pants on because he walked out into the hallway without even checking. That would be quite the capper to the day, his junk hanging out for anyone to see. Max wasn’t shy, not by a long shot, but he didn’t think his mom and grandma would appreciate it. Not to mention what Saint’s reaction would have been when Max knocked on the guestroom door.

  The door opened to reveal a shirtless Saint, and desire slammed into Max so hard he took a step back. Of course, Saint’s abdomen was still wrapped, but that did nothing to diminish his muscled pecs and arms, or those broad, thick shoulders.

  “What’s up?” Saint whispered.

  “You’ve been pacing for hours. What’s wrong?”

  Saint raked one of his bandaged hands down his face. His eyes were red and he was starting to sport some darkening circles under them. “I’m fine,” he answered before turning back into the guestroom.

  Max followed him and shut the door behind them so their conversation didn’t wake the entire house. “No, you are not fine. Are you in pain? Did you take your medication?”

  “That stuff will put me to sleep.” Saint looked at Max as if he’d grown another head.

  “Okay…missing the problem with that.” Sleep was what they both needed right now.

  “When I sleep, things like last night can happen again. It’s better if I wait until I get back to the building. No one will be around,” Saint explained without even turning around to look at Max.

  Max opened and shut his mouth twice, unsure of what to say. Saint was worried about having another nightmare in their house and was willing to take the pain instead of risk falling asleep.

  “It’s not your fault,” Max assured, making Saint finally look at him. “Did we make you uncomfortable last night?” He didn’t think so, but you never knew.

  “No…no, you guys were great.”

  “Then take your medicine, get some sleep, and if you have another nightmare, I’ll wake you. No problem.”

  Saint’s eyes widened before turning cold as blue ice as he stared at Max. “No problem? Seriously? No problem? That’s what you honestly think?”

  Max had the distinct impression he’d screwed up somewhere but wasn’t sure where. He’d intended to ease Saint’s worry by acting nonchalant about the whole thing, not piss him off more.

  “Imagine it being a constant thing—terrified of closing your eyes because every time you do you relive the terror and the bloodshed. Watching your colleagues die brutal deaths while you lie behind bars with holes in both of your hands. Hands you’d used to save lives, fix birth defects, and offer kids a new life, now useless. The only reason I was kept alive was because I was fortunate enough to come from an affluent family who might pay a ransom for my sorry ass. Little did they know, my father would rather cut off his own arm than pay a ransom for his son.” Saint stopped suddenly, a look of terror crossing his face. “I’m so sorry, Max. You didn’t deserve any of that. Shit. I’m sorry.”

  The more Max discovered about what Saint had been through, the more he began to understand and respect the man for how he was dealing with it now. Max took a few steps forward, then placed both of his hands on Saint’s shoulders and said, “There isn’t anything to be sorry for. I get it. I hope someday you will trust me with your story, but until then I want to help. After all, we’re friends now. Hell, you’ve already met my family, and you know they adopt every animal whether on four legs or two.”

  “So I’m an animal now?” Saint asked, with a wicked little smile creasing his face. Knowing he’d been able to do that for Saint made Max feel things he had no right feeling.

  “Hate to break it to you, but we’re all animals, and I happen to know a few of the four-legged kind smarter than some of the two.” Max squeezed Saint’s shoulders before releasing him. “Now take your medication so that you can get some rest.”

  Saint’s smile faded, making Max feel like an asshole, but the man needed sleep, plain and simple. “Before you say something you’re going to regret,” Max said as Saint opened his mouth, “let me continue.” At Saint’s nod, he carried on. “You take your pain medication because you’re suffering, and I promise to wake you the moment you stir. That way you won’t be too deep into the nightmare, but able to get some rest anyway.”

&nb
sp; The room went silent as Saint thought it over. Max was in no hurry and let the man process in peace. “But how will you know? You’ll be down the hall.”

  At least it wasn’t an outright no. Max could work with that. “Because I’m going to be right here beside you.” The shock on Saint’s face would have been comical in any other situation. Quickly, he clarified, “It’s not sexual.” Keep telling yourself that. “Look, we’re friends, and I’ll stay right beside the bed in the chair.” Max wasn’t too keen on it, but if it helped Saint, he could put his own comfort aside for a night.

  Saint thought it over for a moment before saying, “Counter proposal. I take my medication and you wake me up before I’m in the middle of a full-fledge nightmare, but you can’t stay in the chair.”

  Max looked around the room. “I guess I could dig out one of the sleeping bags and set myself up on the floor.” Damn, he’d be stiff in the morning.

  “No, you can take half the bed. That way at least you can get some decent sleep as well.”

  Okay, this just took an interesting turn, and Max’s mind was racing. “Okay.”

  “Keep your hands to yourself, lover boy,” Saint teased as he dug a pill bottle out of his bag, opened the lid, and popped one into his mouth before taking a long drink from his water bottle.

  “But will you still respect me in the morning?” Max covered his nipples with his hands, making Saint laugh as both went to a side of the bed. Fortunately, they preferred different sides, making this arrangement even better. Yay. As if lying beside the guy for the night isn’t already the best option.

  Max waited until Saint was comfortable before turning off the table lamp, blanketing the room in darkness with only the moonlight shining in through the window.

  “Thank you, Max,” Saint said between yawns.

  “You’re welcome, Saint. Now, go to sleep.”

  “Good night,” Saint grumbled as he rolled over on his side to face the wall. “Pushy bugger.”

  Max couldn’t erase the smile from his face.