The Grass Is Always Greener

by Jen Calonita

  “I don’t hate your dad. I just hate how concerned he is with public image. Your free spirit is one of your greatest gifts, and I don’t like how he’s tried to stifle yours.” Zoe sounded angry. “If you were with me, I’d let you run your own life. Swim with sharks, shave your head, take a year off before college, you can do it all, as long as you tell me why you want to do it.” Zoe’s face lit up from the sunlight streaming through the windows. “Your grandmother gave me freedom, but she wasn’t supportive. You need both and if you don’t have those things, then you have to go out and find them for yourself. That’s why I left and never looked back.”

  The room was so quiet Izzie could hear the air-conditioning kick on. Maybe she and Zoe were more alike than she’d thought. Izzie hadn’t let her upbringing hold her back in life so far, and she wasn’t about to let it start now.

  “You’re sixteen,” Zoe said quietly. “I don’t know if your dad told you that you have a choice, but you do.” Izzie didn’t understand what she was talking about. “If you’re unhappy here, you can come back with me to California.”

  “Wh-what?” Izzie stammered.

  “California,” Zoe repeated, shifting slightly. “Oh, Izzie, you’d love it there. It’s so laid-back and I’m so much more chill when I’m home. Just being on the East Coast is giving me hives. I have to get out of here and soon, and you could come. I wouldn’t give you big rules. Just brush your teeth and leave a note if you’re going out. We’d be like sisters,” she said with a smile. “We’d have so much fun. You’d love my friends and…”

  Come back with me to California. Was Zoe serious? Izzie could see her mouth moving, but she couldn’t believe what Zoe was saying. Could she really just pick up and move to California with an aunt she barely knew? Was that even allowed? And if it was, what about her and Brayden? And her and Mira, Connor, Hayden, Kylie (even though they weren’t speaking), her friends, her swim team… Izzie’s mind was reeling.

  “So you’ll think about it?” Zoe was asking. “Don’t worry about what your dad will say. Just decide what you want and try to decide soon, because I give it another two weeks before I lose it completely.” She laughed. “It was fun to be back for a split second, but now I am itching for a change again. We could go to Cali first, but then I’m thinking we head down to Mexico for a bit. I go there in April anyway, but we could stay on and I could do some work, too.”

  “I have school,” Izzie reminded her.

  “That’s right. You’re still in school.” Zoe’s smile seemed to deflate slightly. “We will work it out. Maybe we’ll do homeschooling!” she said with renewed energy. “So many of my friends’ kids—well, the ones who have kids—do that and they say it’s great.”

  Homeschooling? Mexico? With someone who barely gave her the time of day as it was? Izzie jumped up, afraid to hear another word. She felt guilty for even entertaining Zoe’s suggestion. “I should go before Aunt Maureen looks for me.” Izzie eyed the mess again. On top of the pile was a purple paper mask. It was her sweet-sixteen invite.

  Zoe noticed her looking at the invitation and picked it up. “Oh! Your party is in April, isn’t it? I guess we could go to Mexico a little later than planned.” She bit her lip. “I’ll figure it out. The most important thing is whether you want to come home with me.”

  “About that,” Izzie started to say.

  “Don’t worry,” Zoe interrupted. “This stays between us till you say otherwise.”

  Izzie was relieved to have an out. She stepped over a tripod on its side and walked to the door. “Will I see you tomorrow at the street fair? Our booth looks amazing. Mira and some guy from her art class are doing a huge mural.” She waited for Zoe to say no.

  Zoe flung the invite onto the pile on the table and hopped off the couch. “Um, I think so. Vivian needs me to take pictures. I know I wrote the time down somewhere.”

  “The fair starts at ten AM,” Izzie told her. “I’m sure she wants you there earlier.”

  Zoe walked over and tugged on Izzie’s chin. “See what I mean? We’d make a great team.” Izzie didn’t answer her. She just let herself out and Zoe followed. “Wow, it must be seventy degrees. I could use some air after being cooped up for twenty-four hours. Want to take a walk and get pizza?”

  “I’m grounded,” Izzie reminded her. It was a shame, too, because it was a beautiful afternoon. It was supposed to be even nicer tomorrow for the street fair.

  “Oh please.” Zoe stripped off her socks and threw them inside. Then she slipped on a pair of flip-flops near the front-door mat. “They won’t even know you’re gone.” Zoe hooked her arm through hers. Izzie couldn’t believe Zoe was leaving the house in yoga pants with no makeup, and her hair so disheveled. Oh, geez, I am starting to think like Mira, she thought ruefully.

  They’d barely made it past the pool when they heard talking. Zoe stopped short when she saw Hayden, Kylie, and Kylie’s mom walking toward them.

  “Well, isn’t this a picture!” Mrs. Brooks said when she saw Zoe and Izzie. “I never thought I’d see the day when you two were together.” Izzie felt Zoe stiffen.

  Izzie eyed Hayden and Kylie. Neither of them looked at her. “Hi, Mrs. Brooks.”

  Kylie’s mom pulled Izzie out of Zoe’s grasp and in for a tighter hug than usual. “Hey, darlin’. Just getting a tour of your fancy house here. Good thing your parents aren’t home. They won’t notice anything missing.” She started to laugh. “Just kidding!”

  “Mom,” Kylie said through gritted teeth. Izzie felt bad for her. Kylie’s mom could be embarrassing, kind of like Kylie, but both had good hearts.

  “It’s okay. My mom loves any excuse to shop.” Hayden lightened the mood. “Just don’t touch the sports equipment. That’s mine.”

  “See, Kylie girl?” Mrs. Brooks nudged her daughter. “Hayden knows I’m joking. I don’t have sticky fingers like this one here.” She looked at Zoe. “She once stole the last bagel in the cafeteria right out from under me.”

  Zoe laughed. “That is not stealing, Patty. I just moved faster than you in the cafeteria line. You had another twenty pounds on you then.” Kylie and Izzie quickly glanced at each other. It looked like this was going to turn ugly.

  Mrs. Brooks pursed her lip-glossed lips. “True. I never did move like you did. You’re always on the go. When are you picking up and leaving town? Tomorrow?”

  “In a few weeks.” Zoe’s tone changed. “Throwing me a going-away party? I hear that friends do that sort of thing.”

  Mrs. Brooks’s eyes narrowed. “It’s hard to throw something like that when you never know when a person is coming or going.”

  “If you want a going-away party, talk to Mira,” Hayden jumped in. Izzie noticed him take Kylie’s hand. “She can plan one in her sleep. Right, Iz?” Hayden was acknowledging her for the first time in days. Both of them knew how uncomfortable this conversation was getting for everyone.

  “Right!” Izzie spoke up. “She could sic our party planner on you in under an hour if you are interested.” Zoe and Kylie’s mom just continued to stare at each other.

  “Your aunt should have been a magician,” Mrs. Brooks said to Izzie. “She loves to make a mess and then disappear.”

  “Oh, please, Patty!” Zoe threw up her arms. “Here we go again.”

  “Chloe needed you,” Mrs. Brooks said, and Izzie froze. “But you were too selfish to come back and make things right with her. You never got to know your niece or talk things out with your mama. I would have told you that years ago, but every time I brought up your sister’s name, you threatened to hang up on me! You called so infrequently as it was. You couldn’t bother to turn up until Chloe was buried!”

  Izzie felt momentarily stunned. “What did you say?” Mrs. Brooks paled, and Izzie knew she was telling the truth. She looked at Zoe. “You knew my mom died?” Zoe looked away.

  Mrs. Brooks spoke up. “She was at the funeral for about thirty seconds.”

  “What?” Izzie felt like her legs were going to give out. “
But I didn’t see you there. I would have remembered someone who looked like my mom.”

  “I was hiding a bit so no one would recognize me,” Zoe admitted shamefully, and Izzie’s face twisted angrily. Zoe reached for her and almost tripped. “It’s not that I didn’t want to meet you. Your grandmother wouldn’t let me! She was so mad that I said no about the friggin’ guardianship that she made me leave before I even got to go up and say good-bye to Chloe.” Zoe’s voice was shaky. “I wanted to tell you the truth now that I know you, I swear, but I didn’t want to hurt you any more than I had!” Izzie stared at the ground. “I was young. I didn’t know how to deal with a kid of my own.”

  All the pieces were starting to click together. “So Grams didn’t just ask you to be my guardian last year; she also asked when my mom died,” Izzie realized. “You turned her down twice.” Her voice cracked, and Kylie put her hand on her back to steady her.

  Zoe could barely look at Izzie. “I was upset about losing my sister who I hadn’t seen in years. I couldn’t take care of her kid! Try to understand what I was feeling.”

  “What you were feeling?” Izzie focused on breathing. “I lost my mom.”

  Zoe reached out again, and Kylie blocked her. “I was selfish.” Zoe’s voice wavered. “But I’m here now and I want to take care of you. Does it really matter when I decided I wanted to be in your life?”

  “Yes!” Izzie said incredulously. She couldn’t look at Zoe one second longer. She took off for the side gate and heard yelling—it could have been Mrs. Brooks and Zoe for all she knew—but she didn’t stop till she got tackled to the ground. “Let go, Kylie!”

  “No!” Kylie struggled against Izzie’s strength. “You can’t run away again!”

  “I am not running away! I just don’t want to deal with this right now!” Izzie yelled, and even as she said the words, she felt her will to fight slip away.

  This was what Kylie did. She pushed problems out into the open, and she forced her friends to do the same. Kylie’s arms unlocked. She helped Izzie up and they looked at each other. “Sorry. I thought you were going to run, and that would be a dumb move since Zoe is the one who was a total jerk.”

  “She is a jerk.” Izzie smoothed her hair, plucking a twig out of it. “I can’t believe she lied to me like that. She abandoned me,” she said quietly. “Twice.”

  It was the first time they’d talked since their fight. Were they still fighting? Izzie wasn’t sure, because Kylie was here now when she needed her most.

  “But she’s back. That must mean something,” Kylie said. “She knows she made a mistake and she’s trying to make up for it.”

  Kylie had a point. Izzie had gone through every stage of anger when she found out Zoe didn’t want her—anger at her, anger at Grams, anger at herself for not being good enough to be wanted—she didn’t think she had enough fuel left to go through the cycle again. Abandoning her niece once was the same thing as doing it twice. Right?

  “My mom said Zoe has always been selfish,” Kylie added. “When Grams said she was going to ask Zoe to be your guardian last summer, my mom thought it was a bad idea. She knew there was no way Zoe was going to be able to take care of a teenager.”

  Izzie’s face darkened. “You knew about Zoe all this time?”

  “N-no,” Kylie stammered. “I mean, not last year. My mom only told me the story a few weeks ago.” She sounded ashamed when she saw Izzie’s crushed expression. “But we weren’t talking. How was I supposed to tell you something like that? You were already so mad at me as it was!”

  How could Kylie hold back information like that? Fight or no fight, Izzie wouldn’t have done the same to Kylie. “And now I’m even more angry. You and I? We’re done,” she said shakily, and Kylie’s face fell. Then Izzie turned toward the house and took off at a run. She half expected Kylie to tackle her again, but she made it to the front door without so much as a single scratch.

  Sixteen

  When the bells in the clock tower rang 10 AM, the Butterflies let out a loud cheer. This famous piece of EC history only rang on ceremonial occasions, and the Founders Day Street Fair was one of them. As the clock continued to chime, the Butterflies stood with Mrs. Fitz in front of their booth and listened to final instructions.

  “Ladies, the crowds will be here any minute,” Savannah told the group as Izzie looked like she was resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “I know—we know,” she said, glancing quickly at her cochair, “how hard you’ve worked on this project. So let’s give all we’ve got and wow EC with our amazing booth that speaks to our town’s history!”

  Another cheer went up, and Mira tried not to laugh. It was funny how on board Savannah was with the mining station now that it was the booth everyone was talking about. Ever since they had started setting up right around dawn, street-fair vendors had been stopping by to see what they were doing. While the other stands were the same ones that were there every year—old-timey photo booth, candle making, Founders Day souvenirs, traditional Emerald Cove food favorites like green bagels and green spaghetti, assorted old-school carnival games and other crafts—Savannah and Izzie had created a booth that was one of a kind. Mira thought Izzie would be celebrating, but she seemed subdued.

  “Let’s go over your jobs one more time.” Izzie read from her planner. “Mira and Lea, you give out the jewel bags. Lauren and Millie, you make sure each child decorates their own mining hat at the prep station outside the tent. Charlotte, you can—”

  Savannah interrupted sweetly. “I thought we agreed Millie would wave people over to the booth. She’s so personable.” She leaned over to look at Izzie’s notes, as if Izzie were reading them wrong, and her butterfly wings almost hit Izzie in the face.

  Mira never thought she’d see the day when Izzie would wear pink fairy wings in public. Everyone looked so cute that Mira wanted to snap a picture of the club in them, but she didn’t want to face Izzie’s wrath. She seemed grouchy, which was a shame because the booth looked amazing.

  “Mira, are the inside murals done?” Izzie asked.

  “Pretty much,” she replied pleasantly, and Izzie gave her a stern look.

  “Well, you better make sure everything is dry.” Izzie glanced down the street at the approaching crowd. “We’re about to get our first customers.”

  Most street fairs had a start time and an end time, but the Founders Day Street Fair had an actual starting gate. Main Street was blocked off at one end by a green ribbon. When the official bells tolled, the mayor would have someone ceremonially help her cut the ribbon to signify the beginning of the fair. It was the same tradition they’d followed since the first street fair in 1949. (EC was not one to break with tradition.) Mira’s dad was doing the ribbon cutting today, and the only reason the girls had gotten out of it was because of their duties at the booth. Izzie seemed relieved. She would kill someone if she had to appear at a photo op in a pink shirt and glittery wings.

  Mira headed into the booth, which was clearly marked by a huge banner that said Emerald Cove Mining Company. The first thing people would see when they walked under that banner was a table stacked with mining hats and tons of stickers and glitter pens for decorating. Once the kids finished their hats, they would be sent to the second table to gather mining tools—a shovel for digging, a tray for sifting for jewels, and a bag for carrying loot. While there, one of the club members would talk to the parents about the Butterflies’ charity mission. Izzie had printed a picture of the kids at the Emerald Cove Children’s Hospital on poster board along with a statement about the Butterflies’ plan to donate all proceeds. One of the girls’ jobs was to collect the donation (as little as a dollar), but no child would be turned away if they didn’t have the money. After that, it was time to dig for treasure. Kids would enter the tent, which was painted to look like a mining tunnel. That’s where Mira and Landon came in. She was headed back there when her phone rang. It was Kellen. Mira ducked out of their booth area again and tried to find a quiet spot, which was tough to do with all t
he people around. A kid walking by Mira saw the mining sign and started to shriek. It felt like he was doing it right in her ear. “Hey!” she yelled to be heard.

  Kellen started to laugh. “Where are you? Was that Connor?”

  “No.” She watched as the boy and his mom got in line. Mira couldn’t believe how quickly the line was growing and she still had to finish up inside. She’d have to make this a quick call. “I’m at the Founders Day Street Fair.”

  “Ah, I forgot that was coming up,” Kellen said, even though she was sure she’d mentioned it at least half a dozen times when they’d talked. “What are the Butterflies handing out at their booth this year? Green Rice Krispies treats?”

  “No.” Mira couldn’t help but grin. “I won’t say it wasn’t suggested, though. This year we’re doing a mining booth where kids can mine for fake jewels.”

  “Nice,” he said. “Savannah does realize real jewels are not buried in there, right?”

  Mira laughed. “I hope so.” She saw Izzie come out of the booth and look around with a scowl. “Listen, I hate to cut you off, but I haven’t finished painting one of the murals, and if Izzie finds out, she’s going to kill me.”

  “Oh. Okay.” He actually sounded disappointed. “I just called to catch up. I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

  It had been a week, actually. Mira had finally realized that talking to Kellen almost every day wasn’t helping. It was hurting. So she made Charlotte promise to monitor her calls and she gave Izzie her phone when they were home—all so she would stop calling Kellen. “I’m sorry,” Mira said. “With Founders Day going on, it’s been crazy.”

  “So nothing’s wrong?” Kellen pried.

  Mira thought about laying it out for him. How much she’d missed him those first few weeks. How much it’d hurt when he didn’t call or when he acted uninterested about what was going on in EC, but what would be the point? Getting mad at him wasn’t going to make any of this easier. So instead, she said, “No. I knew you were busy with your new school and I’ve had a lot going on with the Butterflies.” But that wasn’t totally the truth, either. “And I thought it might be better if we didn’t check in every day anymore,” she admitted. “It’s too hard.” For me, she didn’t add.