Love Comes Blindly

by Marie Higgins

  Vivian Caroline Fielding.

  What would her daughter have looked like? Would she have inherited her father’s dark hair or her mother’s blonde tresses? Would Vivian have had her father’s incredible blue eyes?

  Madeline gazed across the quiet graveyard, grateful for the peace. How else could she think otherwise? And thinking was what she needed desperately. How was she going to tell Gregg about his daughter? Did it matter? He wouldn’t believe her anyway.

  Three years ago, their parting words had been harsh. She wanted her family to believe she’d slept with her brother-in-law. As much as she’d wanted to back then, it never happened. Gregg had been her one and only, and she’d crushed him terribly.

  The galloping of a horse coming toward her pulled her away from her reverie. She glanced over her shoulder toward the entrance. Riding on a black stallion, gray cloak flapping behind him as his wavy hair rippled in the wind, Gregg Fielding approached.

  Her heart sank. No! He couldn’t be here.

  But it was what she truly wanted—for the truth to come out.

  Taking a deep breath, she stood to face her past once and for all. But just as she thought she’d gained courage, she lost it. She sank to the ground and covered her face.

  “Mary, why did you leave me back there?” Gregg dismounted. Leaves crunched under his feet as he neared.

  “Where did you get the horse?” she muttered in her palms.

  “I borrowed it from the stable. I’ll return it when I’m done.”

  She took a quick glance over her shoulder at him, then buried her face in her hands again. “How did you know where to find me?”

  “Sister Mary Beth told me.”

  Inwardly, Madeline growled. The one nun who knew everyone’s secrets. “I’m afraid, Gregg.”

  He stepped behind her and stroked her hair. “Why?”

  “Because of what I’m feeling, and especially for what I know.”

  He gripped her arms to help her stand, but she kept her back to him.

  “There is nothing to be afraid of, my darling,” he said. “What we shared earlier was meant to happen. I was brought here for a reason. I know that now. That reason was you.”

  Closing her eyes, she sighed. It was time to open his eyes to the truth. “Gregg, you need to know to whom you say these words of endearment.”

  When she turned, he took her face in his hands and kissed her mouth. His lips were so gentle she wanted to cry. She wouldn’t. That would certainly come later.

  She pulled away and looked into his smiling eyes. His gaze swept over her, and she knew he could see clearly now. Within seconds, his forehead creased and confusion clouded his eyes.

  “Wait—do I know you?”

  She nodded. “You know me as...Madeline O’Neil.” She gave him a weak smile, knowing it didn’t reach her eyes. Hopefully, he’d recognize the girl he’d known in the woman standing before him.

  “Madeline O’Neil?” His lip curled as he jerked away. “What kind of trickery is this? You are not that woman I knew three years ago.”

  “Yes, I am. That’s the reason I’ve not wanted to show my face to you.”

  His eyes skimmed over her again, quicker this time. He moved his gaze down the length of her body, then back up. Finally, his eyes widened in recognition. “Oh... It is you!”

  “Yes.”

  He shook his head. “But...but... What in the devil are you doing parading as a nun?”

  “I’m not a nun. I’m not even a novice.”

  “I thought you were training to be a nun. You lied to me!”

  “No, I just didn’t tell you that you had assumed wrong. I wanted you to think that in hopes of you getting to know the real Madeline. I’m not like I was three years ago.”

  He paced in front of her, dragging his fingers through his hair. “None of this makes sense.” He came to a stop and looked at her with wide eyes. “You were pregnant?” His voice rose. “You little harlot! Whose brat did you have? Was it your brother-in-law’s or did someone else bed you?”

  Her heart painfully ripped into tiny pieces, even though she had known this would be his reaction. “No, Gregg.” She stepped away from the grave and pointed to the headstone. “The baby was yours.”

  Color left his face and his jaw dropped. “You gave that illegitimate child my name?” He glanced back at her. “How could you?”

  “Gregg, the baby was yours, I assure you.” She cried. “I know you don’t believe me, but you were the only man who made love to me.”

  “You have lied so much in your life, how can you tell the difference between lies and the truth?” he snapped.

  “You have to believe me.” She sobbed, her heart crumbling.

  “I’ll never trust another word that comes from your mouth again!” He glared at the headstone. “And I want my name taken off that stone!” He met her eyes with a pierce hot glare. “If you don’t remove my name then I’ll do it myself, and you won’t like the way I do it, either!” He stormed back to his horse, mounted and rode away.

  She fell to the ground and cried out her anguish. Just as she suspected. He hated her.

  Chapter Six

  Shock still vibrated through Gregg’s body the next day. He badly wanted to return home to England, but he wouldn’t do it without Calvin. Infection hadn’t set in Drake’s leg, and by now, the chances of it happening were slim. Still, the doctor wanted to keep an eye on Calvin just in case. Although his friend would have his limb, he’d have a limp for the rest of his life.

  Because Lord Drake wasn’t ready to leave, Gregg would stay as well, which meant he had to remain at the Abbey. He hadn’t talked to Maddie since they were at the cemetery, but he was forced to watch her as she moved in and out of the sick room. What else could he do?

  He walked to the window and looked outside. Soon the sun would set and bring night’s shadows, which made it harder for him to see. A few people from town were visiting with some nuns near the front steps. Over the past couple of days, new patients had been brought to the Abbey for the doctor to attend them. It surprised him to see the soldiers were still here as well. Gregg wondered why they were here with prisoners in the first place.

  He watched everyone closely, trying to imagine what kind of life these people had. For the past few years working at building his newspaper, he learned to think this way in order to find that great article which would bring in readership. However, the only story that needed unfolding today was Maddie’s. He had to know what happened to her. He must know the truth. Could he believe what she said? Three years ago, she’d lied to everyone around her. He really didn’t think a person could change that drastically.

  Cautiously, he quit the large room in which he’d been kept, and preceded up the stairs. Although nobody had mentioned where the Sisters slept, he guessed it was the second floor. When he reached that floor, he stopped. Silence hung around him. Would Maddie be up here? But he didn’t want to find out. He wouldn’t know what to say to her anyway, so he continued up to the third floor. On the winding stairs, voices were heard from above, making him stop and listen.

  “The soldiers will be asleep soon. It won’t take long before the sleeping draught begins to work,” a man with a Russian accent said.

  “How will we get the prisoners out without anyone noticin’?” Although the second man’s Scottish accent wasn’t as strong, it still hand a twang.

  “We switch their clothes with the soldiers.”

  Confusion filled Gregg’s head. They couldn’t possibly be talking about what it sounded like. Yet he felt in his heart this was indeed, treachery. This couldn’t be good. Not in an Abbey...especially if all the soldiers were asleep and not able to help during the breakout.

  Taking a slow step backward, he moved quietly, not wanting to draw undo attention. He had no weapon, and he still didn’t feel strong enough to use his fists to defend himself. Just as he reached the bottom step, it squeaked. The voices from up above stopped. Gregg grumbled an oath of curses and hurried on
soft feet—as soft as a man of his size could make them—down the hallway of the second floor. As he passed each door, he checked the door knob, trying to find some place to hide.

  Locked.

  Heavy footsteps on the stairs echoed, making Gregg’s heart hammer faster as he moved through the hall. Finally, a door wasn’t locked and he rushed in, closing the solid oak barrier softly behind him. The semi-dark room wasn’t lit very well. Only a small lamp gave him light, and because he couldn’t see well in the dark, he squinted harder. A movement from over in the corner drew his attention. Maddie jumped to her feet from her vanity, holding a brush. Her hair still damp from her bath.

  “Gregg? What are you doing here?” she asked, pulling on a worn, brown wrapper.

  “Hide me. Someone is coming,” he told her in whispers. The heavy footsteps grew closer and Gregg searched for someplace to hide in her room. Because the chamber was so small, there wasn’t anywhere except under the bed. Certainly the intruders would see him. At the end of the bed sat a large trunk. He lifted the lid and peeked inside. Quickly, he threw out the gowns she had in there and climbed in. “Cover me. Hurry!”

  Her eyes widened and her face paled. Shaking her head, she hurried and stuffed the gowns on top of him. Just as she closed the lid, someone knocked on the door.

  Gregg heard her shuffled feet then the clicking of the door as she opened it.

  “May I help you?”

  “Eh...are ya one of the Sisters here?” the Scot asked.

  “Indeed, I am,” Maddie answered.

  “Yar tae purty tae be a nun.”

  “We are all beautiful in God’s eyes.”

  Good answer, Gregg thought.

  “Pardon our intrusion, Sister, but we have reason tae believe a mon in hidin’ up here somewhere.”

  She gasped. “But Officer, these rooms are for the Sisters of the Abbey. We do not allow men up here. In fact, both of you need to leave.”

  “Sorry, ma’am, we cannot do that.” The other man spoke, and Gregg could tell he was trying to disguise his Russian accent. “We were following the man. He’s up here somewhere, and even if it takes all night, we will find him.”

  Their footsteps came closer to the trunk. Gregg held his breath, praying they would give up their search and leave.

  “There is no possible way a man could be in my room since I have been here for a good hour and nobody has come in.”

  Gregg couldn’t stop the grin sneaking across his face. Even in a church, Maddie was going to lie. But this time, he really needed to thank her... That’s if he escaped alive.

  MADELINE CLUTCHED THE front of her wrapper, using her arms as a shield. She didn’t know what was going on, but she’d bet her life these two men were the ones she heard the other day—mainly because of the Russian soldier who was dressed in a British uniform.

  The big brute Russian pushed her aside and entered. His friend tagged behind, but since there wasn’t a lot of room there was no place to go.

  She huffed. “Are you quite satisfied? As I told you, nobody—”

  “What’s in there?” the Scot asked, pointing to the trunk.

  It had been a while since she had to lie, and she really hated doing it now. But she must in order to save Gregg. These men looked like they wouldn’t show any mercy to the man they were after.

  “My personal belongings are in there—that’s all I have left from my past.”

  “Personal belongin’s?” The Scottish man chuckled. “Didn’t think nuns could have personal belongin’s.”

  She pulled herself taller and lifted her chin in a stubborn stance. “Will you please leave? This is not proper, and you know it.”

  “Were ya a grand lady in yar past, or a peasant girl?” The Scot rubbed his chin with one hand as he unsheathed his sword with the other.

  Panic choked her throat. What was he possibly going to do with his weapon? “I—I don’t see that it’s any of your business.”

  “It is if I’m going tae do this.” The Scot jabbed his sword through the trunk.

  Dizziness filled Madeline as dread poured through her. Her hands shook as she fixed her stare on the blade slowly being pulled out of the trunk. There were no signs of blood...and she prayed that was a good sign.

  “I hope I didn’t ruin anythin’ of importance.” The Scot grinned and sheathed his sword.

  “I—I’m certain you did, but it’s nothing I cannot mend.” Her body quaked and tears stung her eyes, but she refused to lose control now. She must believe Gregg was not harmed. “I hope you are satisfied that nobody is in my room. Please leave now.” Her voice shook, but she aimed her glare at them directly.

  “As you wish.” The men left her room, closing the door.

  She waited until their boot steps were up the hall before she quickly opened the trunk and tossed the gowns haphazardly around the room. “Gregg...oh, Gregg. Please tell me you’re all right.”

  Gregg’s muscular form uncurled from the ball he was in and stood to full height. Relief swept over her and she released her breath with a whoosh. He glanced at his chest and fingered the rip in the middle of his shirt.

  “I have never really believed in God until now.” He shook his head. “I thought for sure I was a dead man.”

  “Thank God you are all right.” Her body shook uncontrollably, and this time she couldn’t stop the tears from coming as they spilled from her eyes.

  He climbed out of the trunk and gathered her in his arms, pushing her head to his chest. “There, there, my dear. I shall be fine.”

  “Why...why...” She sniffed. “Why were they after you?”

  “I overheard them plotting to break the prisoners free. Tonight.”

  She jerked her head back and looked into his face, hoping he was jesting. But the worried lines on his forehead and around his mouth told her he wasn’t. “You must tell the soldiers about their plot. Immediately!”

  Shaking his head, he looked at the door. “They are soldiers as well. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

  “So true.” She sighed heavily. Yet...she knew one person whom she could trust, but it would mean sneaking out after everyone went to sleep again to get the message to the right person. “Do you think they will still try to free the prisoners tonight?”

  He shrugged. “I would hope they don’t, only because now they know someone overheard them. I just wish I knew who the authorities were around here. Scotland is so uncivilized.”

  “Yes, in a sense, it is.” She moved out of his arms.

  Gregg exhaled deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. “I just wished I had seen their faces.” His eyes widened and he clutched her shoulders. “But you did.”

  “I don’t know, Gregg.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to get involved with spy games and seeking out traitors.” She broke their contact again and sat on the bed. “I came to the Abbey to live a quiet and uncomplicated life.”

  His gaze narrowed. He studied her for a few brief moments before kneeling on the floor in front of her. His fingers swept across her cheek in a gentle caress.

  “Who are you really? The Maddie I remembered always wanted to be center of attention. She would have never settled for a peaceful life.”

  “The girl you remembered no longer exists. The woman in front of you now is satisfied to live a secluded life.”

  He snorted. “Without men?”

  “If necessary, yes. I’m happy right here working alongside these loving Sisters.”

  “Why don’t I believe it?”

  Sighing, she took his hand off her face. “You cannot believe because you choose not to.” She paused and then asked, “Tell me something, Gregg. When you were blind, what kind of woman did you think I was?”

  She expected to see anger cross his features, but his face relaxed slightly.

  “I thought you were the most wonderful woman in the world. You were so very sweet and caring. You went out of your way to help me.” He shrugged. “Of course, now I know why you acted like that. You wan
ted to impress me. You knew who I was, but I had no idea of your true identity.”

  “My true identity is the woman you grew to have feelings for during your blindness.”

  He shook his head, but continued staring at her. “How could you have changed so drastically?”

  “My stepsister kicked me out of our parents’ house after I lied about sleeping with her husband. I had no place to go. I tried staying with my friends, but soon their parents began to get curious, so not wishing to bring scandal to my family—or to my friends—I moved on. I was forced to fend for myself, which I couldn’t do. It didn’t take long before I was out of money. I was penniless, without a home and starving myself to death. Just as I was at my lowest point, an angel was sent to help. I don’t know why God decided to bring me aid because I didn’t deserve it, but a Sister from the Abbey found me and took me in. All of the Sisters treated me with love and kindness, even though they knew I was an unwed girl in the family way.”

  Tears filled her eyes but she continued. Gregg had to know the truth. “They taught me how to forgive myself and to go on. I didn’t like the person I’d been in England, and I wanted so much to change. I asked forgiveness from the people I hurt the most and then I put that part of my life behind me, starting over.”

  Gregg cocked his head. “Were you considering becoming a nun at that time?”

  She shrugged. “I did after Vivian died. I knew there was no kind of life for me outside the Abbey. I really had no skills that would help me secure a good position, but that wasn’t what kept me here. I actually felt accepted and loved by these wonderful Sisters. I’ve never felt that way in my entire life.”

  “But Maddie, you’re not made from the right kind of mold to be a nun.” He stood.

  She arched an eyebrow. “And pray, what is the right kind of mold?”

  “Well, for starters, I have not met a nun as beautiful as you.” A grin pulled at his mouth.

  Heat consumed her face. “Beauty is not the issue here, Gregg.”

  “Nuns are not supposed to be passionate.”