Finally he let her go. She wrung her hands as she left the stage.
Jane took the stage next and I waited impatiently till the after-interview with Maggie was done.
Jane finished with a round of applause from the judges, and I saw Maggie emerge just as they called my name. I said, “Maggie!”
Her blue eyes seemed dead to me as she said quickly, “Your turn, Phoenix. We’ll talk after.”
Right. My turn. This was it. My second chance waited. My first one had died that day, years ago, when I hadn’t been smart, when I’d thought only about saving myself and not another.
There would never be a second chance at fixing that moment in my life. And that was why I was here, now.
12
Maggie
My heart shattered the more I listened to Phoenix from the winner’s box with the other contestants.
Jane joined us, but my entire attention was on the screen for the last performance.
I’d never heard Phoenix this … vulnerable. It was magnetic and I couldn’t look away.
I’d been so upset that he’d not told me about what happened all those years ago, but I’d stopped asking. I believed the past was the past.
Yet that had ratcheted up my mistrust. I shouldn’t be kissing the guy who melted my heart with those vocals.
His voice cracked with emotional resonance and I knew he’d done it on purpose.
Phoenix Steel hit every note like he had written the words from his heart. But I stood and wrung my hands as the British judge I’d been so afraid of said, “Phoenix, your performance was brilliant. I’ve not heard you sing better.”
“My heart sings every time it beats,” Phoenix said.
Damn. My knees went weak. He could have been using me all along. And I was playing into his script of redemption.
Until now I’d never had cameras capturing my every move.
Then I winced as the pop star, with her ponytail high in the air like she wanted to model as a horse, said “Part of me wanted to be the girl you’re singing about in that song. You clearly have her in your soul. And I’m upset with myself. You’re so likeable.”
Of course he was. He’d been my teenage dream. And the truth was, I’d barely heard more than two of the pop star’s songs in my whole life. I hadn’t listened to the radio much when I was seven and she ruled the airways.
The third judge, who usually seemed spaced out, just added, “Yeah, that was easily your best performance. You’re super talented, Phoenix.”
And he’d win and I’d be forced to return to my parents—penniless and stupid because I’d believed in a fairy tale that stole my edge.
The host, who gave me the creeps, stood beside Phoenix with his microphone and said, “The judges loved you.”
“It happens,” Phoenix said, and tucked his hands in his pockets like this wasn’t a big night for him.
The host’s eyebrows went up as he asked, “That’s it?”
Phoenix stared into the camera but I could have sworn he was speaking directly to me as he said, “I guess. The world knows the truth now about why Indigo 5 kicked me out. Fiona Desiree spent three months in rehab after the car accident, and never recovered her fledgling career. I don’t know what’s happened to her since, but I hope she ends up with her second chance soon.”
So that was why he helped every one of his competitors. He knew this televised world. And no one else had that charisma with the cameras. Clearly he hadn’t forgotten a thing about how shows work, and I was a fool for wanting to believe there was more to “us.”
A female voice I sort of recognized came on and said, “That’s good to hear from you, Phoenix, even if that’s years too late to count. You don’t deserve a second chance. The show invited me here to sing while they tally the votes.”
Fiona Desiree had once had a hit with some song my parents had called a wanna-be stripper song. I’d not been allowed to listen to it. I remembered that the second the beat started. And Phoenix smiled at the woman he’d once been close to and said, “Good luck, Fiona.”
A gentleman as always, when the world was watching. The host stood next to Phoenix on stage and didn’t let him leave.
It was like the show wanted to keep him in front of the viewers and not let him off screen.
Even I was hooked. My arms ached to hold him and to throttle him at the same time. I should hate him. He had used me to gain sympathy with the audience.
I didn’t move until the crew led Finnigan, Jane, Sawyer, Rihanne and myself out to join Phoenix in a line.
I was stuck on the other end, as far as possible from him. And I knew from the lights on me that this wasn’t good.
I’d be at the bottom and he’d be at the top. And this was my fault. I hadn’t rearranged my last song to the best of my abilities. I’d been lazy. I heard the judges say, “Well, Phoenix, I think you know the answer to this …”
Phoenix quipped like he was in on the joke, “I don’t think we clapped enough for Fiona Desiree.”
The crowd roared. The host had to wait for the applause to die down. Then he pointed theatrically to the other spotlight for Phoenix to go to as he said, “You’re safe.”
But I wasn’t. I’d dug my own grave.
Phoenix said, “Second chances are rare. Thank you.”
This was on me.
Finnigan was in the bottom three.
Jane’s performance had been spotless, so she was safe.
The host then said, “Sawyer, go join Finnigan.”
The show cut to commercial with the light on Rihanne and me, like we were both an option. Rihanne’s country styling had been good. I was the one who’d messed up.
The lights came back on and Rihanne and I held hands. And then the host shoved the microphone in my face. My entire body was still as he said, “And Maggie, after your performance earlier, you also are in the bottom three.”
Yeah. I’d known. I sauntered over to Finnigan and Sawyer and took their hands.
I hadn’t been good tonight, and I hadn’t asked for help. I wiped my eyes and didn’t care if the world saw, or if anyone heard me when I said to myself, “I won’t let go of my dreams again.”
We finished filming and the lights went off.
The rest of the contestants walked back to their rooms to unwind, shower or relax.
I walked over next to Phoenix and didn’t move until he steered me back to our rooms.
I went with him, but my words failed me.
As we neared the dorms, he stopped outside of the women’s area and said, “Look, you only have one night to get better.”
“And I’ll do it by myself.”
He traced my face and said, “Maggie, I’m sorry.”
A tear escaped me as I said, “Me too. I wish you’d been honest with me about Fiona Desiree and not used me to get ahead. And I wish I’d done better preparing for tonight. Things might be different then.”
“I’m not using you.” He wiped the tear away while he said, “For what it’s worth, I wish I had told you about Fiona, too. I knew the show turned on me after the song came out.”
I said, “Maybe they’re all right and I’m the fool.”
“Trust me.” He pressed his forehead to mine and said, “Mark will make you a super star. He’s better than the judges.”
I kissed his cheek. I shouldn’t, but it was goodbye. Even if he was right, it didn’t mean I deserved another shot. I’d self-destructed tonight. All I could say was, “I need to work on my performance for tomorrow. Good night.”
He held my wrist and said, “Wait.”
I turned toward him and he kissed me.
This had to be the last time. My foot went up and I held onto him like we were the only people in the world and no one else mattered.
If only kisses like his lasted, I’d be happy, forever. But as the kiss ended, I held onto him and asked, “What was that for?”
He straightened my clothes and said, “In case I don’t get another chance.”
My h
eart sank.
Tomorrow, I had to get through the elimination round. I wouldn’t lose. But I refused to ask for his help. What if he was the biggest user of them of them all?
I’d not know until later. At least this way, if I lost, it would be because I didn’t do the work. So I needed to do all I could.
The next day I didn’t see Phoenix except in the public practice for the group song. I tried to talk to him, but he seemed distracted, and he was on his phone a lot during breaks.
Hopefully it was because he was making things right with Mark.
I threw myself into my own practice with a new arrangement and the hours flew by. Then it was time for hair and makeup, and I headed onto the stage. My name was called first.
This time I sang the song in a way that worked better with my voice, and the audience went to their feet to applaud. The stuffy British judge said, “Maggie, that was better. You should have sung like that yesterday and you might have avoided the bottom three.”
The rest of my stage moments went smoothly, but as I left the stage to head to the after room, I saw Phoenix lined up for a solo. This was wrong. I ignored my handlers and went over to him.
I took his hand and said, “Phoenix, do you have more secrets for them to expose?”
“No, they’ve found every skeleton.”
I nodded. Good. “They can’t have any more surprises in store for you, then.”
His lips were thin and he stared at the stage when he said, “Doesn’t matter.”
I cupped his face and turned it toward me. I said, “It does.”
His gaze met mine and for one second the world didn’t exist. Heat coursed through me when I said, “Look, I was reading online that you have a lot of fans that are rallying around you on social media about Fiona Desiree. You’re getting your second chance, regardless of the show.”
“Maggie, thanks.” He stared into my eyes like this was the end.
I went on my tiptoes and said, “Don’t let them rattle you anymore.”
“I don’t intend to,” he said quickly, and then he kissed me.
Unlike his other kisses, this one was different. It had the sad taste of goodbye and I didn’t want it to ever end.
When it did, I realized the cameras were on us.
The last of the judges had just said, “Sawyer, your hip hop made us bounce tonight.”
But I knew our kiss made it onto the broadcast.
I let him go and went with my handlers to the after room for a quick wrap-up.
As soon as I finished, I heard Phoenix on stage.
His voice and pitch were perfect, but he sounded … sad.
My heart sank as the British judge said, “Phoenix, you’re beyond talented. You have more strengths than some of the judges up here.”
More than all of them, I thought, including the British guy.
But then Phoenix lifted his chin and I held onto the wall and rocked on my feet while he said, “I get it. But you’re here to find the next big talent, not to give me a second chance.”
“We’re here for you.” The pop singer looked Phoenix up and down like she was checking him out. Then she said, “I’d be willing to sing a duet with you next week.”
He shrugged and didn’t move. “I’d be honored, but it won’t happen.”
“That is disappointing.” She sat back in her chair.
I paced back and forth as he came off the stage. I needed to talk to him, but he headed into his after interview while Finnigan gave his final performance of the night.
The celebrity guest sang next, while we had a short break. I spotted Phoenix and tried to get his attention. He waved at me, but went inside without stopping.
Until now he’d always made time for me.
I followed the stagehands back onto the stage and was directed toward the bottom three spotlight. Phoenix stood in front of us, with his own spotlight. What was happening?
We all joined hands. For a second, Phoenix glanced back at me as the lights came on.
Then he faced the camera.
The host came to start his bottom-three banter, to tease us with who would be safe. My heart beat too fast.
Somehow I knew in my gut the truth about tonight. This was it. Phoenix was leaving, without telling me.
The host stood with me and pointed to the other spotlight and said, “Well, Maggie, you can join the other finalists. You’re safe.”
He let me go and I trotted across the stage, but my shoulders slumped. I joined Jane and Rihanne who both took my hands.
Then the host said, “Sawyer, you’re also safe. And so are you, Finnigan.”
My stomach was a rock. I stared at Phoenix who stood alone under the spotlight.
His face seemed white and his lips thin when the host said, “Phoenix Steel, tell the world what you’ve arranged.”
Phoenix widened his stance and waved to the crowd as he said, “I’m leaving the show so the others all get a fair chance. I’ll be releasing my own album next year and I hope America picks the best one here to get her own solo contract too. Maggie is amazing.”
And then they had him sing.
This time he sang with even more heart. Tears escaped my eyes. I didn’t care about the makeup.
Everyone could see how this wasn’t fair. He’d quit on his dream.
While he sang, the rest of the contestants left the stage, but I knew if I did, I’d never see him again.
As the song ended, Phoenix said into his microphone, “Maggie’s a talented and sweet woman. And she hasn’t earned a penny on that Christmas song of ours that you’ve heard on the radio. I’m going to have to fix that. Goodbye.”
This was it? Phoenix was tossing his chance because of me?
So much good in my life was because of Phoenix. He didn’t need to do this for me.
I had to make it right somehow.
He walked over to where I stood on the stage. Then he wiped my tears away and his lips met mine.
I didn’t want it to end.
The lights went out and the audience cheered. The sound brought me back as I looked up at him for the last time.
13
Phoenix
Maggie’s kiss was the sweetest taste I’d ever remember. She was better than an orange after a morning run on the beach.
And I realized I didn’t belong with her or on that show.
I’d done as Mark wanted, redeemed my image.
And I’d talked to Fiona. She’d not been robbed of her career, not like I’d blamed myself.
The show had taught me that, in vibrant color. The only reason to stay now was for Maggie, but that was selfish.
And I was done taking a place I didn’t belong in.
I’d get the sell-out shows I craved without this competition. So I finished packing my small bag and hoped Maggie was in practice, with her next song.
I’d cheer her from in front of my television now. And I’d arranged to have coffee with Fiona to clear the air.
I quietly headed out of the guys’ barracks and kept my steps soft as I carried my small overnight bag over my shoulder.
Unlike the rest of the contestants, I had my own limo from my years of songwriting and being on TV, and it was waiting outside for me now.
However, as I neared the door where I intended to just disappear, Maggie’s voice called out, “So that’s it? You’re leaving without even turning the lights on, just to avoid me?”
I turned around and a soft light from the studio she’d been in lit her from behind. She truly was an angel who deserved more than me. I tucked my hand in my pocket and said, “Maggie, look, you know where I live, and you have my number. I’ll call you soon.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist and said, “I don’t know if I believe you, but I want to.”
She smelled sweet, like flowers and sunshine. I kissed the top of her head and said, “You deserve every opportunity in the world, Maggie. Win.”
She glanced up at me and her blue eyes reflected something that struck me de
ep inside as she said, “Phoenix, why did you quit? Was it because of me?”
I ran my hand through her soft hair and for one second was greedy enough to want more time with just Maggie, alone. I sighed and said, “No. I have everything I want now, except you. You can text me whenever you need to. I’ll always answer.”
Her lips pursed but she didn’t let me go as she trembled and said, “Part of me hates what I’m about to say. I should stay far away from you and focus on winning, but I don’t want to be here without you.”
Now I was stealing her drive to win. I hadn’t intended to do that. I closed my eyes and brushed against her soft skin as I said, “I want you to win. I’m leaving because seeing Fiona sing again … I don’t need to win when I’ve already got what I came here for.”
“So Mark’s booked you an album and your own headline show?”
“Not yet.” My lips went closer to hers as I said, “I’ll decide what contracts I want. But you need to succeed on your own merits. Live your dream. We can see each other after you win.”
She curled her hands in my hair and said, “I just want to sing. And to have you. But I still don’t trust you and it’s breaking my heart.”
My heart beat fast. This was probably the last time I’d get to kiss her. I knew it. She’d end this once the lights faded because she was destined for success. I said, “I needed to see that I hadn’t destroyed Fiona. And you have your own soul to be true to.”
Tears washed down her face and she shook her head as she said, “Don’t …”
I held her closer and said, “You’re amazing, Maggie. I’ll call.”
I claimed her lips again. Her kiss burned on my lips, and part of me was glad we were here, in public. I’d not take everything she offered.
When the kiss ended, I lowered my head and waved as I walked out into the dark night.
I hadn’t realized how late it was, but it didn’t matter. Hank was waiting in the limo with the headlights on and he took me home.
Tomorrow, I would talk to Fiona and finish that chapter of my life, forever.
Legendary Rock Star: Enemies to Lovers Romance (Steel Series Book 1) Page 10