I closed my eyes in the back of the limo and went numb.
Now I needed to find out when Maggie was free and set up a meeting with Mark. If I didn’t fix that album deal, I’d hurt the only woman who had ever touched my heart.
Seeing my parents had stirred up painful memories, but it had also reminded me that I controlled my life.
As we drove through the dark streets, a song about following my heart but losing Maggie composed itself in my head, until the ringing caught my attention. I picked up my phone and heard Mark as he asked, “So what happened, Phoenix?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
The limo turned onto my street as Mark said, “You need to talk to someone.”
“Later.” I’d done enough talking for now. When I was ready, I’d call one of my cousins for advice on how to fix things with Maggie. They were trustworthy women. And besides shouldn’t Mark be asleep at this hour? I closed my eyes and said, “Mark, I quit the show. You’ve already secured me everything I wanted, so I don’t need them.”
“This has to do with Maggie, doesn’t it?” he said quickly. “We’ve known each other for years. And I’ll be at your house in less than ten minutes.”
We were pulling up in front of my house as I said, “You don’t have—”
But Mark interrupted. “You’re the closest thing I have to a son. I’ll be there.”
Right. And I was the disappointing kid who’d never lived up to his potential, until now. I’d changed, and I needed to keep my word to Maggie.
That show was for people like her. People who didn’t have what they wanted out of life yet, and deserved a shot at it.
Maybe Mark would tell me that from now on I’d be singing in more intimate settings. And that might be better. It might leave me to free to have the life I wanted.
And that meant not hurting Maggie with lies. A face-to-face with Mark was necessary, and now was as good a time as any.
I was putting my stuff away when the doorbell rang. I returned and opened the door for Mark.
“Come in,” I said. “Would you like a water?”
He patted me on the back and walked inside the living area with me as he said, “No thanks. What’s your plan now?”
I directed us toward the couch that didn’t vibrate. Mark looked professional even at this hour, in his white button-down, with no tie, and light tan suit pants. He folded his hands in front of his belly and relaxed back in his seat as I said, “Watch Maggie on the show for a few days. Write a few songs.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “And record my album?”
The Christmas album had been a blip. I got that now. But when Mark stared at me with expectations for another album, my collar grew tight. I’d not disappoint the only father figure I had left, again, so I said, “I’ll record everything you want from me.”
He leaned closer like we were discussing an actual contract. “Look, you’re locked into a six-month tour with the other contestants, but if you get me new material, I’ll finalize a new deal for both of us.”
If I took that deal, I’d be a liar. I’d destroyed too much already, and I pressed my lips together, unsure how to tell Mark to find someone else better.
Instead, I asked, “When are you going to take the meeting with Maggie? You didn’t respond to my texts.”
He scooted closer, like we shared a secret, and said, “You had a release from her. We’re legally free to do anything with that Christmas stuff.”
“We don’t profit without paying her. Or I don’t record anything or write another note.”
“You drive a hard bargain. Is she worth losing everything for?”
Mark’s opinion on my life had protected me for years, but Maggie deserved more.
“She deserves better than me,” I said.
Mark stared at me and then sat back. His voice went deeper as he said, “If she’ll talk to me and sign for that album, we’ll split the profits with her and maybe film a video once the show ends.”
Sometimes, like now, I wondered what in the world Mark saw in me.
I slumped in my seat and asked, “And a solo career for her? Can you help her?”
Mark stilled but his voice was piercing like a knife as he said, “I need to have a conversation with her. My instincts decide if I work well with someone, and right now, all I see on TV is that she’s not focused on winning.”
“That’s on me,” I said “And you as well. That song being leaked wasn’t good for her.”
Mark snorted scornfully and then said, “All I can offer is a meeting, and a fair deal for the Christmas album. Getting her name on the cover as a featured singer will be easy. But I need for you to sing more on your own so I can make you a solo star.”
If I didn’t push for Maggie to get equal billing, it would mean I was a liar. I didn’t need to prove my own worth anymore. I controlled my schedule and my life, but Maggie was drifting away from me.
Even without Mark, she’d still be a star if she gave the show her all.
And I needed to protect my heart from falling for her even more.
Mark patted my knee and said, “And I promise you I’ll ensure she has her chance too. You leaving the show leaves her a wide opening, if she takes it. Be happy for her. She might not even want to work with me.”
So once again I was playing out my life in the public eye. And somehow everyone saw something different from what they should.
Mark stood up, like he’d said what he’d wanted to say. But he added, “Yes, be happy and get in that studio.”
I walked him out and said, “Mark, thanks for checking on me.”
He turned toward me in the hall and asked, “Promise me one new song before tomorrow?”
I met his gaze. I didn’t have it in me to tell him no. Mark was the only person in my life who had ever watched out for me. The grays in his hair somehow made him seem more fatherly, and I said, “I can write a song tonight.”
He shook his head. “Not write. You’ve been doing that forever to hide. It’s time for you to sing, on your own.”
Until now, I’d only been a kid on a show, or a member of a band, or one of eight finalists on a music show special. Could I do it on my own?
I opened the door for him and said, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He took one step, stopped and said, “Fine. Just no drinking. And you get in that studio.”
As he crossed the threshold, the need to thank him rushed through me. I’d be exactly like my parents, living in Vegas, poor and drunk, if he hadn’t come into my life. I said, “Mark, thank you for everything. I don’t know what I’d have done if you weren’t in my life.”
He hugged me and patted my back as he said, “Don’t thank me, kid. It’s time to start putting money in both our pockets again with your singing.”
“Bye,” I said. For some reason, he believed in me. Soon he’d be back to focusing on the next up and coming star.
I turned out the lights and headed to my room in complete darkness. I’d take control of my life, even if that meant protecting my heart from ever reaching out for Maggie ever again.
14
Maggie
There was no way I’d lose again because I hadn’t practiced enough. This was on me.
No more distractions.
So I was up before dawn and spent hours with the band, and then in the studio by myself.
I had to hit every note. It was my time to shine.
Just outside the studio was the closet Phoenix and I had slipped into, and my lips tingled at the memory of his kisses. It should make me want to stop this train ride, but my heart raced as I thought of him.
I should be grateful he was gone. It had been fun, but I was here to win. I’d not let myself down.
I’d never settled in my life.
And besides, he hadn’t wanted me to go with him.
He’d walked away.
And I needed to chase my own dreams.
But I stopped for now. My voice was crac
king because I was in need of lunch and water.
So I wiped my brow that was damp with sweat and headed back to the women’s dorm.
I showered and only thought of Phoenix’s magnetic kisses every three seconds. It was hard to forget him, but maybe I could slow down the vivid memories that were causing me to tremble.
I changed into the wardrobe that had been left for me and was priming my face for makeup when Jane, in her purple leather jacket, came to the mirror beside me.
“Maggie, can you tell Phoenix thank you again?” she asked.
My body flinched. I hadn’t expected that. I put my moisturizer down and asked, “For what?”
Jane continued patting her face with moisturizer as she said, “He’s been emailing us the best arrangements for our songs. I’m blown away with his rendition of my ’90s pop number. It might actually work for me now.”
Jane was an alto but they’d given her a song I’d love, meant for a soprano. I met her gaze in the mirror and said, “I didn’t know you’d even asked him for help, Jane.”
Her nose wrinkled as she stopped applying her moisturizer and said, “I think Finnigan, Sawyer and Rihanne all did, too. The band was learning our new versions all morning.” She zipped her makeup bag and asked, “Didn’t you ask him?”
“No,” I said, and my stomach knotted.
Her eyebrows arched as she cleaned up her station and tossed her tissues into the trash.
“Why not?” she asked. “Aren’t you in love with him?”
Yes. But love didn’t mean I had to give up on being me. On doing things my own way. I was here to win and he’d … he’d given up. I lifted my chin and said, “I’m here to win on my own. I don’t need his help.”
She shook out her long brown hair and then crossed her arms as she asked, “Why? He’s clearly in love with you. My ex wasn’t half as into me as Phoenix is with you.”
Phoenix was my childhood fantasy and he still made my heart stir, but if I didn’t try to win this on my own, then I was just another girl who gave up on her dreams to follow a guy. And I couldn’t be that.
But Jane and I weren’t exactly close enough that I wanted to explain it all to her. So I finished with my moisturizer and packed up my things as I said, “Well, you’re the biggest competition now. You’ve never been in the bottom three.”
She reached out to take my hand and said, “I’m here to follow my dream and be a star. If this doesn’t work out, I only prove to my daughter her mom’s a failure.”
“You’re not! And all of us will be going on that six-month tour.”
“But only one of us headlines and gets the recording contract.”
If Phoenix hadn’t been lying to me about Mark, I might have a backup if I lost this competition. I couldn’t count on it, though, so I held my tongue.
Jane fixed her black t-shirt and said, “Phoenix sure seemed to be in love with you. It made me hope that one day I’ll be smarter about men.”
“You seem brilliant to me,” I said. Jane never caused any drama. She was first up in the morning and never missed her schedule, which made her a flawless competitor as well as a good performer. I took a deep breath and said, “I’m doing this on my own.”
Just then my phone rang. She saw Phoenix’s name on my screen and waved at me as she said, “Looks like he’s calling you.”
And then she left. I answered and walked out, too. But I headed to the delivery bay to have a moment of privacy.
He said, “Maggie.”
I checked that no one was near me and then leaned against a black curtain on the wall and said, “Phoenix, Jane told me she loves how you arranged her song. She said you helped everyone.”
“You didn’t send me yours.”
“I don’t want your help,” I said, and wished that somehow sounded different. “Win or lose, this is all me now.”
I loved him. The thought hit me out of the blue. But love shouldn’t steal my dreams, right?
He said, “No worries. You’ll be great.”
My heart was twisted inside my chest and I closed my eyes to pretend for a minute he was here with me. I wanted his arms around me still, and I had goosebumps while my lips remembered his kiss. I asked, “So what’s going on with you?”
“Mark is still in for a meeting whenever you can get together, and he’s promised to set the money straight the second you do.”
Good. I let out a breath and opened my eyes. He wasn’t here. I stood straighter as I said, “We’ll see what happens here.”
“Of course.”
I heard cars arriving outside in the parking lot. Someone might come through the door any moment. My hair stood on its ends but I ignored how part of me wanted to leave here and just go to him. “I’m glad to hear that, about Mark. Look, I have to go.”
“Break a leg, Maggie.”
A tear escaped my eye. I wished that I could trust him, but I still didn’t quite believe that what had happened on stage was real.
So I said, “Goodbye,” and my entire body ached.
My shoulders were slumped as I went inside and headed to makeup.
Soon I was ready, in my black jeans and hot pink top, with my hair in a high ponytail for tonight’s ’90s-inspired performance.
But as I paced and went over the lyrics to my song, I suddenly found myself looking into a familiar set of brown eyes framed by blonde hair in a bob.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?”
This wasn’t their problem, but here they were: my mom, with my father right behind her.
I hugged her hard as I said, “Mom, Dad. What are you doing backstage?”
My mother ran her hand over my overdone ponytail as she asked, “We wanted to check on you. How are you doing?”
I shouldn’t need their support. The heat coursed through me as I reminded myself that I make my own mistakes and live my own life now. But I held that thought back and said, “I’ll be fine. It’s just a lot of work.”
My dad then said, “We won’t bother you. We just wanted to make sure that rock star didn’t hurt you.”
“He was … good.” I lowered my head but held my mom’s hand as I said, “I don’t know if I believe everything he said, though. Phoenix grew up knowing how to manipulate television.”
The opening music started. My mother ignored it and said, “Your heart knows what to believe.”
My stomach was in knots and I only had a minute. “But I am serious about moving to L.A. and taking my shot at a real music career.”
I could see the doubt in their eyes. I took my mom aside and my dad waited patiently as she said, “We do hope you come home.”
I’d explode if I didn’t say this now, so I kept my voice low so only Mom might hear me as I said, “I have to follow my dream.”
My eyes watered, but I refused to cry as she said, “You’re welcome back no matter what happens.”
But first I needed to win and prove myself. I said, “I have to find a place to live and lead my own life now. I’m ready.”
Her words struck me as she said, “Just don’t do anything to crazy—like get streaks in your hair like Jane over there.”
This was my life now. I hugged her and said, “Thanks for coming, Mom.”
I waved to my dad and they left as I lined up with the other contestants.
Jane was explosive and the crowd was on their feet.
Finnigan delighted everyone.
And then it was my turn.
I took center stage and the British judge started, “The crowd is expecting to be wowed.”
This was the man who hated Phoenix for stealing the limelight as backstage coach. I hooked my finger in my belt loop and said, “I hope I meet their expectations, then.”
The pop singer said, “Unlike the past weeks, you do know some of the ’90s classics.”
Yes. Finally. I nodded and said, “I watched all the videos on online.”
Then the final judge said, “Well then, take it away.”
He was low key, but pretty nice,
actually.
Not that it mattered.
The first note rang. I sang and put my heart into every syllable.
As the last beat of the song reverberated, people cheered. But then the uptight British judge shushed the crowd and said, “You should sing like that every time, Maggie.”
Wow. I thought he hated me. I widened my stance as the pop star beside him added, “Seems now that Phoenix is gone, you’re shining on your own, girl.”
That was why I was here. Phoenix needed to be the past.
Then the last judge said, “I’m going to slightly disagree with the others here.”
The British guy sounded offended. “You are?”
The third judge said into his microphone, like he was forming an argument, “Maggie, this business is about playing to your strengths and you have that large voice inside you. I’ve always thought you were the one to beat and tonight you proved me right.”
Aww. Tears washed down my face as I nodded and said, “Thank you.”
But as I walked off stage, my feet dragged. I should be thrilled, but I was alone as I went to the after room for a quick interview. I missed having Phoenix there to encourage me.
Finally the handlers directed us all toward the center stage in a lineup. The host paced in front of us as he said, “So, with only five people left in the competition, most of you will be in the bottom three.”
And I would be one. I was getting used to it. I mumbled to myself, “Right.”
He started at the end of the line and said, “Rihanne, I’m sorry. You’re in the bottom three.”
Rihanne crossed the stage and stood alone under the spotlight. The host moved to the next contestant and said, “Jane, you’re safe.”
She patted my back like we were friends and stepped back.
The host then met my gaze and asked, “So, Maggie, what’s it like to be here without Phoenix?”
Still? I thought we were done talking about him now. I squared my shoulders and said, “I’m doing the best I can. I don’t want to lose who I am.”
His lips thinned as he said, “Well, congrats. You’re safe with Jane.”
I didn’t even need to fake surprise. I went to join my friend, who still rocked purple leather, and hugged her.
Legendary Rock Star: Enemies to Lovers Romance (Steel Series Book 1) Page 11